SWTF

SWTF is an initialism that stands for she wants to fuck. This is a common meme on 4chan, fit in particular. Variations include TWTF (they), HWTF (he) and similar.

Stories

Failures

8th grade

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:15 No.11144926 File1329203754.jpg-(271 KB, 634x476, conan-i-am-disappoint1.jpg)

>8th grade

>be anti social as fuck but relatively good looking

>one day popular girl (7-8/10) notices me and says hi; i ignore her b/c im beta

>she accepts the challenge and continues saying hi to me every single day and hugs me when i ignore her too long

>i figure she's just being a bitch to me and making me feel embarrassed

>everyone in class gets to witness my beta all throughout 8th grade, every fucking day

>refuse to acknowledge her all 8th grade

>she moves in 9th grade and i never see her again

>now realize that she maybe wanted to fuck

>mfw i goofed

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:23 No.11144973

>>11144926

that's beyond beta, bro. thats just flat out fucking rude, what the.

learn manners.

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:26 No.11144996

>>11144973

I realize that, brah. I'm not proud, but since I'm anon I'd post it here. If I could go back in time, I would change it. What's worse is that I had a crush on her but I was too afraid to actually take what I wanted. Feels fucking bad. None of you will ever know this feel.

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:30 No.11145015

>>11144996

Actually most of us do

A girl who was shy liked me, sent her friends to say she liked me and I sent them flying. She even cried on her 16th birthday because I wasn't there, her friends and some of mine even came to my house (I lived near there) to ask me to go because she was crying and wanted me, etc. I said no and kept playing Final Fantasy 8.

That girl's a model now.

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:33 No.11145033

>>11145015

at least you got to finish ff8 right?

... right???

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:35 No.11145046

>>11145033

No, in fact my 4th disk was broken and got stuck when Ultimecia called her GF.

I never completed FF8. Did everything there was to it, beat Ultima, got almost maxed out stats, etc, but never could beat Ultimecia. When I got into the game again I got bored and dropped it pretty early on.

That day I was fighting Giant Cactuar.

Bar

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)23:58 No.11143552

>this weekend

>at bar with bros

>dance with 6/10

>make small talk

>out of the blue asks me "so how far's your house from here?"

>swtf

>reply "um...probably t-too far for you to come with"

t-thanks /fit/

Club

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:54 No.11142823

>be 14, I still had not reached self-awareness

>first time at a club

>had been told many times by girls that I was cute

>some girl comes out of nowhere and tells me something like "we have to make out", I get terrified and escape

>now 10 years later I'm still a virgin and have kissed 3 girls. One of them I could have fucked but I was too nervous and couldn't get it up.

>If only I had made out with that one girl everything would have been different

>that feel when now it's too late to change.

Golf

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:38 No.11145074 File1329205126.jpg-(5 KB, 212x251, Gasm.jpg)

>Be at driving range

>Open with some warm up swings, followed by a few 6 irons to dial the swing in, then about ten drivers

>Afterwards, work on dat dem dere wedges for upwards of 45 minutes

>At this point, notice smoking hot girl on the college golf team coming down the range

>She sets up a little bit behind me

>Figure "Why not show off like a doofus? It'll be fun."

>Take out the driver and start MURDERING balls. 290+ yards on a rope

>Run out of balls and move to leave

>As I pass she says "It looked like you were hitting it well."

>"Yeah, I've had my swing in a groove lately."

>"That's good to hear, but to play well you have to be sharp on the greens."

>She wants to putt

>mfw

Guitar Hero

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)23:02 No.11142904

>in her room

>playing guitar hero

>she sitting next to me

>she slips her hand under my shirt and massages my body

>virgin

>I panic and go into slowmo mode

>hit every note perfectly and achieve perfect rating on expert difficulty.

>i stand up and leave her room

virgin to this day.

Van

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)03:02 No.11145256 File1329206577.jpg-(52 KB, 898x348, Dawning Sadness.jpg)

>>11144996

I, good sir, am an idiot, and I will explain why.

>Get stuck driving a group of friends

>At one point in the night, everyone is at one friend's apartment

>The security guards tell us to break it up as we are WAY too loud

>Decide to go to another friend's house

>Reasonably cute, unendingly friendly girl says "we'll meet you at the van" (Side note, the goddamn van is why I'm driving half the time) and ushers me out the door.

>There are paths to my car, one that everyone else will take, and one she suggests we take

>Chat as we walk alone, feel her brush up against my arm a couple of times, write it off as her being drunk and swaying

>Get to car, get everyone in, drive to friend's house.

>Entire time at the house, girl is telling me I should drink with the rest of them, as they won't need another ride and I can crash there like she'll do

>Wave it off saying it's not a big deal and it's like, 1 AM anyway I'm sure it'll be over shortly

>Driving back to house at 2:30 AM, realize she took the other route to get me alone, realize she was brushing up against me because she wanted me to hold her hand, and realize she wanted me to drink so I would have an excuse to stay the night with her.

>Before I could move to correct my unbelievably stupid error, another guy had picked her up.

>That was a little less than a year ago, they're still together

>mfw

I really liked that girl. I'll never make that mistake again.

She

3 drinks

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)17:39 No.11138824 File1329172779.gif-(1.91 MB, 320x240, 1239868_o.gif)

>>11138144

>at bar getting hammered

>6/10 older Personal trainer and her boyfriend to the right of me

>her boyfriend is 300+lbs and taller than me

>she starts yakking at me, theyre visiting from out of town

>start talking about fitness

>7.5+/10 red head whos all dressed up walks over to me and starts talking to me while im talking about fitness

>aspergers mode engage

>she says "HEY WHATS A GOOD GIRLY DRINK" she has to be loud to be heard over the god awful pop music that is forever drowning out conversation

>im drinking pitchers of beer and respond "I dont know i dont drink girly drinks" then i think for a minute, dont want to be a dick "Try an AMF or one of those on that list over :there" point at wall of mixed drinks

>she orders 2 9$ mixed drinks and continues to stand directly next to me, while i go back to talking to the PT

>theres a lull in the conversation i look back to my left, shes standing there looking kind of down and i notice she has 3 full drinks in front of her

>aspergers me says "WHY DO YOU HAVE 3 DRINKS?"

>she says "ohh i uhhh they were for uhhh" and starts to pretend to point to some fictional friends she came with "you can drink one if you want"

>another chick pulls me to the dance floor

>i get back later and shes gone

>get to talking to PT and her boyfriend who is not pretty drunk

>he insists i dance with his GF

>he offers me a job at his company

>when his gf goes to the bathroom he says "damn man i wouldve gone home with that redhead hours ago"

>mfw swtf

this is now a swtf and you didnt realize it thread

18 virgin

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)17:46 No.11138918

>>11138824

I've got one.

>be 18, virgin at the time

>first real girlfriend

>She invites me to spend the night

>Start making out in her bed

>She stops for a moment and starts rubbing her body against me

>Think to myself "this is pretty cool"

>Kiss her more and after a little bit she realizes nothing is going to happen

>We go to sleep

>swtf but i didnt realize it

I fucking hate myself whenever I look back into the past. I've gotten much better but I feel like the biggest retard. I've got plenty of other beta stories.

Alejandro

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)18:00 No.11139124

>>11138918

Samefag here
Got another one

>be 16/17

>started smoking weed

>friend invites me over to his place to smoke

>It's a weird 3 story townhouse

>No parents

>Smoke on the bottom floor out of a bong made from a green tea bottle

>Get high as fuck, aspie mode engaged

>I was already super shy around girls at that age, didn't understand they were just people

>Go to second floor with friend to meet his 5/10 sister and her 7/10 friend, both were about a year younger than us

>They start giggling and ask us if I think the friend is cute

>"I ummm guess..."

>they giggle more and tells me that she thinks im cute and wants to know if I want to make out

>"Nah, im good"

>Give me a weird fuckin look as I go back to watching tv

If I was sober I would have been less aspie but I don't know if I still wouldn't have been too nervous. I've been handed so many opportunities that I just throw away.

Art class

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)17:45 No.11138909

>>11138144

>in art class

>sharpening pencils, getting ready to walk

>random lady shows up

>takes off her clothes in front of me

>she wants to fuck

i later found out she was just a nude model; however

>coulda sworn she keeps glancing up at me

>she wants to fuck

Borrowers

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:29 No.11143867 File1329197343.jpg-(78 KB, 469x700, 1299902005129.jpg)

>>In class at uni

>>girl beside me asks to borrow a pencil or pen

>>SWTF

Change

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)17:27 No.11138669 File1329172022.png-(257 KB, 525x420, 1288388118175.png)

>checking out at grocery store

>total comes out to be $17.01

>i hand check out girl a $20

>she gives back $3

>swtf

Chest

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)01:53 No.11144732

>at party

>8/10 whos always been shy to me bumps into me in the kitchen

>her hands hit my pecs

>"oh my god anon, do you.. do you work out? your chest is.. its huge.. heheh"

>bitch is blushing hard

>swtf

College

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:08 No.11143643 File1329196086.png-(19 KB, 468x422, dear god.png)

>intro to college class

>notice some girl that i found pretty cute was in this class. (she was in my psychology class)

>"hey, you're in my psyche class, aren't you?"

>"yeah i saw you yesterday, but you were like two rows down"

>"wanna sit together next time?"

>"okay :)"

so, that week, during class

>takes photos of us on her laptop

>hums along song lyrics with me

>wants to "put our hands against each other to see how much smaller her hand is"

>puts her head on my shoulder

>gives me her number

>ALL ON THE FIRST DAY

>adds me on facebook

>says "that's a hot profile pic"

>accept

>MFW SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND

>MFW SWTF ANYWAY

and then i dropped out of college.

Deaf

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:04 No.11143604

>dancing with girl at party

>grinding all over her ass

>spin her around, and start grinding her vag

>start making out with her

>squeeze her ass for maximum stimulation

>she yells in my ear "DO YOU HAVE ANY CONDOMS"

>swtf, but I went deaf from her yelling

Drunk

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:08 No.11141468 File1329185306.png-(31 KB, 472x502, 1276907240927.png)

>Drunk as fucck at some party

>Some girl show me her tits

>They're fucking beautiful

>Do nothing

>"Aren't they pretty, anon?"

>Uh, yes they are

>Do nothing

>Leave

>fall asleep in couch

>swtf (?)

Elliptical

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:41 No.11144005

>be just now

>be walking out of gym past ellipticals

>hot blonde on end machine closest to me

>stare at her

>she looks at me when she thinks i am not looking

>looks away quickly

SHE WANTS TO FUCK

Facebook

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)19:24 No.11140181

>sun explodes

>creating millions of rocks on fire

>fire finally starts to fade

>dinosaurs start to walk the earth

>huge meteor kills them all

>new life begins

>cavemen hunt animals

>invent the wheel

>cavemen invent fire

>cavemen invent swords

>attack other tribes take their lands

>forge kingdoms

>invent gun powder

>produce better weapons

>ottoman empire starts killing shit

>decide to go on war

>win

>jews start taking over banks and the media

>this guy who is a really good speaker appeals to a large crowd

>send jews to palestine

>jews claim they get killed in europe

>jew dominated america and russia forced to fight germany under jewish influence

>germany loses

>jews orgasm and decide to take over palestine

>mum meets dad in a bus

>they start dating

>they decide to get married

>dad bangs my mum without condom

>dad does military service

>comes to see my mum every month

>mum calls dad saying she's about to give birth

>hardcore sergeant actually lets him leave

>doctors say mum might lose the baby

>mum says no keep trying

>be born with bruises and be ugly

>2 weeks later bruises clear up and hair starts growing blonde and look like a normal baby

>learn to say "GOAL!" first

>then figure out the language

>go to school

>girls making fun of me

>pull pants down to prove them im male

>they run away

>almost get kicked out

>but graduate anyway

>go to high school fail first year

>second try manage to graduate and try weed

>go to college

>its predators week

>everyones hiding their faces

>meet a friends friend

>7.2/10 would bang

>she mentions her boyfriend but seems to have interest in me

>dine with her

>go back check facebook

>1 new friend request

>she wants to fuck

Lurking

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)20:45 No.11141138

>lurking on facebook

>mum comes into my room naked

>starts feeling my muscles

>oh son you are so hard

>tell her to go make me dinner

>post Slayer - Raining Blood on facebook

>girl from asperger support group likes

>swtf

Pizza

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:47 No.11141977

>"Wow anon.. you look a lot better"

>"Much better than when we use to date."

>"I'm kind of sad we never went all the way.."

>Tell her I'd fuck her if she broke up with her boyfriend.

>20 min later, get the text "Come on over (;"

>Shes waiting with pizza and a condom.

>Fuck pizza. Sell condom. Eat girl.

>Swtf

Poking

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:21 No.11141649 File1329186097.jpg-(40 KB, 500x371, 1318296186127.jpg)

>>11141591

>mfw she poked me

>mfw i remember being with her for 5 mins and complimenting her hoodie

>mfw swtf

So.......if you didn't notice, she poked me. Swtf (?)

Winter trip

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:15 No.11141566 File1329185715.jpg-(17 KB, 249x211, 1326236461270.jpg)

>at a winter trip camp thing

>meet this girl through some friends

>never really talked to her or made eye contact

>get home check my facebook

>friend request me

>ok cool

>messages me about how much fun she had

>"ok sounds cool" generic response

>check fb this morning

> she poked me

>mfw

She wants to fuck.

Film school

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)19:38 No.11140371

>at film school

>girl in very short skirt puts her shoes on chair to tie shoelace

>perfect upskirt white panties

>shelooks at me looking

>i look at her

>she knows

>she knows i know

>she knows i know she knows

>swtf

>next day

>she doesnt come to class

>she doesnt xome to class ever again

Fitocracy

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:25 No.11141690

>on fitocracy

>get props

>swtf

Asian

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:06 No.11142247

>>11141690

>Random Asian mom always propping me

>swtf

Avacia

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:01 No.11142166 File1329188468.png-(28 KB, 179x201, zyzz9.png)

>post something on fitocracy

>Avacia_ comments on my post

>swtf

I wish

GF

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:14 No.11142352

>>GF texts me

>>"I have a lot of hw and might not have time for dinner w/u tonight, but you should still come over later so we can fuck."

>>SWTF

Mysterious

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)17:07 No.11138407

>in class being mysterious

>it's test day

>teacher hands out test

>hot ass girl in front of me slowly turns around accenting every curve of her beautiful body

>she asks in the sweetest way possible, "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?"

>luckily for me I already had one in my hand

>give her my pencil

>think of something cool to say back

>"not having pencils ready, ISHYGDDT"

>she doesn't get the joke

>she starts to dart her eyes around

>maybe she didn't hear me

>I repeat myself, "not having pencils," and loudly this time, "ISHYGDDT"

>she turns around very quickly, maybe she's trying to hide her laughter from my great joke

>think of trying to give her some encouragement for the test

>think of the times before a big game where teammates slap each others butts

>I grin and lift my hand up and say, "hey babe," and slap her firmly in her ass, "good luck"

>I could tell I sent a shiver of pleasure down her back

>swtf

Old woman

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)21:10 No.11141491 File1329185428.png-(171 KB, 512x386, fuuu_Busted-s512x386-98509.png)

>Medfag doing a rotation at old people facility

>"This is med student so-and-so. You mind if he performs a medical exam on you?"

>80 year old woman slowly looks me up and down

>"He can examine me anytime he wants"

>SWTF

Had this happen most days that month rotation... and the only time in my life it will ever happen.

Sandwiches

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)23:58 No.11143555

>work at uni dining hall

>making sandwiches at the time

>slow time

>two girls walk in, both come to sandwich station

>one of them is pretty cute, we make eye contact she smiles, and seems like she glows

>make her sandwich with conversation in between

>conversation while sandwich is toasting

>smiling, joking around etc.

>serve her the sandwich

>walks away, and looks over her shoulder

>she wants to fuck

Streaker

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)19:48 No.11140495

>>11139181

Went out to eat, no I am not alejandro. I have another story though.

>be 18ish

>Go to a party with my best friend

>Been best friends since 2nd grade, he goes to another highschool though

>I don't know anyone at this party besides him except for one girl

>These parties are in the middle of no where, rural bumfuck area

>Everyone getting really drunk and starting to do dumb shit

>Girl I know decides that she wants to go streaking

>Decide to man up and go as well

>It's just us 2 running naked down a path

>Nothing comes of it because I didn't even try and we just walk back and get dressed

>Later in the night everyone starts going to sleep

>I set up blankets in the back of my car to sleep

>Same girl decides she wants to get in to cuddle

>Was under the delusion that I was friendzoned and didnt want to do anything to make it awkward so I don't make a move

>I didn't even put my arm around her until she asked "Well are we going to cuddle or not?"

>Put arm around her and fall asleep

Later find out she'll at least make out with anyone when she's drunk. Shes a 5.5/10 anyway so whatever. Next day she told everyone how "sweet" I am for cuddling. Got some girl jealous and that's how I started dating the jealous girl. Wasn't all bad

Sub

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)01:31 No.11144527

> be a substitute teacher

> give classes to girl acquaintance, solid 9/10

> know her from same interest in bands and gigs

> she can't look at me in class, for the whole semester

> wonder if that is just boredom or if swtf

> randomly meet her at a party

> she comes over and starts to talk

> welp, option 1 is out

> we go to a friends house, we fuck

> best lay of the last 2 years

> we fuck everyday for 2 months

> typing this made me miss the feel of her tits on my hands while I fucked her on my balcony

> that glorious feel

Tits hug

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:09 No.11142290

>girl always calling me "cute"

>comes up to me while I'm sitting

>hugs me from behind, presses her tits against my neck

>kisses me on the neck

>leaves as if nothing happened

what in the actual fuck too bad she's like 7/10 would not bang

Valentine

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:51 No.11144091 File1329198674.png-(70 KB, 618x564, problem.png)

>pour my heart out to a chick

>get rejected

>ask her over a text, "can we still be friends"

>her "totally"

>ask her next text "could I buy you something for valentines day"

>her response "I don't think you should do that, I don't want you getting any more hurt"

>me "ohh no I was just seeing what kind of girl you were, I think we can still be friends"

>*let it sink in*

>*leaving class the next day*

>psssstttt

>she's waiting for me after class, takes me around the corner and we makeout

>mfw I pulled the switcheroo

I feel baller as fuck right now, turned a beta moment around.

Virgin aspie

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)20:20 No.11140858

>At the gym

>Girl double takes

>She wants to fuck

>Wearing a suit

>Girl comes out of building I am going into

>Brief eye contact

>Doors are glass and I happen to see her in the reflection after she has gone past

>She turned around and was looking at me

>She wants to fuck

>At the bus stop

>Incredible-looking girl looks at me as she walks up

>Stands next to me

>Say nothing

>Stares at me on the bus

>Looks at me through the window when she gets off

>She wants to fuck

>At a party, stoned and drunk, one of my cute TAs show up drunk

>Hugs me

>Tells me she's just hugging me because she wants to touch me

>Tells me I'm awkward but it's okay because she's awkward too

>Later, grabs my arm and tries to pull me away

>Look at her and smile, do nothing

>She walks away

> etc

Too bad I'm aspie as fuck or else I would have lost my virginity a thousand times over by now (22 years old)

They

Bone daddy

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)18:43 No.11139679

> at bone daddys (its a hooters type of place, ladys with short skirts very revealing tshirts as waiters)

> order chicken fried steak and planning on taking a super small piece of it for me, they had no grilled chicken / healthy shit and splitting the rest with cousin

> waiter comes and the portion is huge and says " are you gonna eat that entire thing by yourself?"

>don draper mode

>"whats your name lady?", "she gets a lump in her throat and says Rachel",

"Rachel, you should do your job, place food on the table and walk away, your a waitress, nothing more, now refill this water and walk away"

> her eyes get glossy like shes going to cry as she refills the water

> give no fucks, bitch had no right to say that

>2 girls in booth behind me say "she was just trying to make convo, dickhead"

>"mind your own god damn business and dont act like you didnt just get wet"

>they scoff and get upset and stop talking

alpha as fuck, 3 girls wanted to fuck

Doctors

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:49 No.11144078

>clubbing with the roomies

>done hangin out in the VIP, decide to divide & conquer

>find 2 girls, open with a request to dance

>dancing with 2 chicks

>make out with one in front, one behind gets pulled off by some Chechnyan loser who's 20 & claims to be a doctor

>Proclaim "In mother country, I am doktor too" in heavy Russian accent

>he so mad; super super buttranch, extra curd

>IDGAF

>girls thank me for getting him away from them; I tell them they better get their coats

>"Why's that?"

>"I figured that was obvious; you ladies are coming home with me tonight"

>titters, phone numbers exchanged, I bring the car around while they get their coats

>we go back to my place

>threesome

the beer goggles were strong with me that night; the chicks were 6/10 & 7/10 at best. Still pretty proud of my ability to appropriately assess the situation, though.

DTF

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)02:37 No.11145067 File1329205078.jpg-(13 KB, 268x262, 1279430538687.jpg)

>take out of town friend out with some girls over the weekend to try and get my boy laid

>one of the girls there was another friend's ex

>i am trying to hook them up

>he is trying to run game but while i am off talking to some other ppl she tells him she wants me

>spends rest of night trying to hit on me, constant flirting, touching, hinting at shit

>i'm not stupid, but also not interested

>brosbeforehoes.jpg

>mfw she leaves out of frustration cuz we both dip out to kick it with a different pair of girls we met

>mfw they are dtf

>mfw we take the new 2 back to the hotel and get all kinds of laid

>now that's a saturday night.

Koreans

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)01:32 No.11144538

>on camping trip with a bunch of my Korean students

>their all about one or two years older than me

>their drinking, I'm supervising (sitting at a table)

>have about 8 chicks come up to me throughout the night to talk

>they all tell me how handsome i am, ask who I like the best etc.

>twtf

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)01:39 No.11144604

>>11144558

its hard to tell if their really that keen or not

my work mate who is the translator (the students don't speak the best english) tells me almost all of them are in love with me

my whole life I've thought i was a 3/10 at best, so i really can't tell if hes fucking with me, but i doubt it

also, i turned 19 today and am a kiss-less virgin, so its fucking temping, also i love Asians and some of them are hot. This shits depressing.

Mulan

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)18:44 No.11139698 File1329176690.jpg-(103 KB, 1600x1200, 1253939304309.jpg)

>at my 16th birthday party

>I'm blasted, too drunk to stand

>2 girls come up to me

>"Hey Anon, want to have a 3some with us?"

>"No, I'm too drunk to stand"

>I ignore the bitches and put mulan on

>twtf

Swim meet

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)00:24 No.11143813 File1329197083.gif-(2.2 MB, 400x369, Cain smile.gif)

>attend HS swim meet to watch my brother (as in, blood relative) compete

>bro's friend's mom waves me down, points out my parents, tells me "there's not much space down there, but you can sit next to us if you'd like!"

>middle-aged swim moms all a-titter

>chatting about the meet, errbody complimenting, errbody mirin' my knowledge

>midway through the meet, mom sees me, asks what's up

>ladies answer "Oh, nothing, just getting some information from anon about the meet!"

>Mom (to me): "Do you want to come down & sit next to us?"

>gaggle of gals (to Mom): "OH NO, that's not necessary! We'll keep an eye on him; you go sit with your husband, we'll hang out with the cute one!"

>Mom (knowing smile): "Alright..."

>mfw they all want to get down

Waitresses

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)23:54 No.11143508

>bored at work

>notice the cheese blocks are a pretty decent weight

>start doing tricep extensions with them

>coworkers see me

>boss says the girls will pay me their wages if i allow them to watch

>waitresses blush and tell him to stfu

>they all want to fuck

Wallet

Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)03:31 No.11145506 File1329208289.png-(169 KB, 1280x800, 1303665848135.png)

>Walking home from the gym. Tired as fuck.

>Go down alleyway near my apartment.

>Guy pinning a girl against the wall, ripper her shirt off and covering her mouth.

>I yell at him and start running at them.

>He books it leaves girl there crying and shivering.

>I give her my extra shirt and put my gym shirt back on.

>Call police and wait with her on a bench nearby.

>Police come 5 minutes later and question both of us.

>They take her home and I walk back to my apartment.

>Left my wallet in my shirt.

>She messages me on facebook the next day that she found my wallet in my shirt.

>Call her and meet up.

>Her 3 gfs are there with her, all 4 are eyeing me.

>twtf

All 4 of them are now my fuck buddies. Good things happen to good guys after all.

Weddings

Anonymous 02/13/12(Mon)22:36 No.11142601 File1329190585.jpg-(33 KB, 242x324, 141b.jpg)

>2 months ago

>8/10 friend from work calls me wants me to be her date for a wedding.

>drive 3 hours to dallas

>fuck raw like rabbits for entire weekend

>last week

>an ex gf text me wanting me to be her date to another wedding

>pic related.... she sent it along with the invitation

mfw everyone knows I live with my current gf.

Whats with this wedding tactic?

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