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ED is slow: Difference between revisions

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{{achtung|HOLY SHIT, [[ED is Fast]] now. [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]]}}
{{Notcrap}}
[[File:ED is down .JPG|thumb|center|800px|What ED looks like a third of the time.]]
[[Image:Sloscan.jpg|thumb|right|260px|ED Server HQ]]
[[Image:Sloscan.jpg|thumb|right|260px|ED Server HQ]]
[[Image:ED is slow.png|thumb|260px|How you can tell when ED is slow.]]
[[File:Ed-server-3.gif|thumb|right|Inside ED's fastest server]]
'''[[ED]] is slow''' (not to be confused with [[Special Ed|'Ed is slow']]) is a naturally occurring phenomenon related to the [[fail|inadequacy]] of current [[Internets]] technology vis-a-vis the inability to transmit [[X-box|vast quantities]] of [[lulz]] at high speeds to the masses.
[[File:Ed-server-crash.jpg|thumb|right|Server crash!]]
 
'''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] is slow''' (not to be confused with [[Special Ed|"Ed is slow"]]) is a naturally occurring phenomenon related to the [[fail|inadequacy]] of current [[Internets]] technology vis-a-vis the inability to transmit [[X-box|vast quantities]] of [[lulz]] at high speeds to the masses.


==Usage==
==Usage==
:'''Prima:''' "ED is slow. Is it getting [[DDoS]]'d?"
*'''Prima:''' "ED is slow. Is it getting [[DDoS]]'d?"
:'''Secunda:''' "ED is always slow."  
*'''Secunda:''' "ED is always slow."  


==How does ED go down?==
==How does ED [[Blowjob|go down]]?==
It is frequently assumed that ED is under a [[DDoS]] attack when these [[The Caturday Nap|are going around]], however it is frequently assumed [[RONG|wrong]], because ED is immune to DDoS attacks and is immune to [[CS3|ping and tracert]].
It is frequently assumed that ED is under a [[DDoS]] attack when these [[The Caturday Nap|are going around]], however it is frequently assumed [[RONG|wrong]], because ED is [[7 Proxies|immune to DDoS attacks]] and is immune to [[CS3|ping and tracert]].


Other times you get an error like [[Guru Meditation]] or an error like the one below.
Other times you get an error like [[Guru Meditation]] or an error like the one below.
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</div>
</div>


<br/><br/>However, that is not the real cause.  From a purely technical standpoint, when an outage occurs, ED [[Chris-chan|goes down salty]]. Below is a technical diagram.
However, that is not the real cause.  From a purely technical standpoint, ED [[Chris-chan|goes down salty]].
 
Who to blame? There is no one to "blame", Binky you Faggy Hamster. ED runs on that legendary pile of tossed salad PHP (short for "poopy code") called Media Wiki, the same crapware that [[TOW]] uses. You could probably blame TOW inner whores [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Magnus_Manske Magnus Manske] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Brion_VIBBER Brian Vibber] who wrote most of the fartery, but of course nothing will be done because they are [[an hero]].


<br/>[[Image:Cwc salty iced tea.jpg|300px]]
{{clear}}
<br/><center>'''ED [[Almost raped|almost dies]]. Too bad it didn't.'''
<br/>[[image:ED down.jpg|1000px]]</center>


==See Also==
== Quote ==
 
{{quote|1=In closing I'll note that sometimes Encyclopedia Dramatica seems to me to go offline for long stretches. Is it a fly-by-the-seat-of-its-pants operation, where some dudes maintain the database on their personal hard-drives, getting bounced from one ISP to the next, and looking to get it back up?|2={{archive|VehwJ|Triptych}}}}
 
==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
Image:ED is slow.png|How you can tell when ED is slow.
File:Blank sidebar.png|Blank sidebars are signs of ED's slowness...
Image:CrackRabbit's triple post.jpg|As well as double and triple posts
File:Error-500-servers-are-downs.jpg|ED goes downs.[http://archive.is/XiNd0]
image:ED down.jpg|ED [[Almost raped|almost dies]]. Too bad it didn't.
</gallery></center>
 
==Related Articles==
*[[Error 404]]
*[[500 Internal Server Error]]
*[[Encyclopedia_Dramatica:Support_ED|Donations]] plox.
*[[Encyclopedia_Dramatica:Support_ED|Donations]] plox.


{{notcrap}}
==External Links==
*[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/_bkdr.php Take down ED!]


[[Category:In Jokes]]
[[Category:In Jokes]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Netspeak]]
 
{{takedown}}
{{language}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 17 & 18, [[2016]]|[[Pepe]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now November 4 & 5, [[2021]]|[[No Nut November]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Graykat]]}}

Latest revision as of 01:32, 13 November 2021

HOLY SHIT, ED is Fast now. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

This article is not crap. You can help by not doing anything.


What ED looks like a third of the time.
ED Server HQ
Inside ED's fastest server
Server crash!

ED is slow (not to be confused with "Ed is slow") is a naturally occurring phenomenon related to the inadequacy of current Internets technology vis-a-vis the inability to transmit vast quantities of lulz at high speeds to the masses.

Usage

  • Prima: "ED is slow. Is it getting DDoS'd?"
  • Secunda: "ED is always slow."

How does ED go down?

It is frequently assumed that ED is under a DDoS attack when these are going around, however it is frequently assumed wrong, because ED is immune to DDoS attacks and is immune to ping and tracert.

Other times you get an error like Guru Meditation or an error like the one below.

Warning: require_once(extensions/youtube.php) [function.require-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

Fatal error: require_once() [function.require]: Failed opening required 'extensions/youtube.php' (include_path='/var/www/ed/wiki:/var/www/ed/wiki/includes:/var/www/ed/wiki/languages:.:/usr/share/php:/usr/share/pear') in /var/www/ed/wiki/LocalSettings.php on line 243

However, that is not the real cause. From a purely technical standpoint, ED goes down salty.

Who to blame? There is no one to "blame", Binky you Faggy Hamster. ED runs on that legendary pile of tossed salad PHP (short for "poopy code") called Media Wiki, the same crapware that TOW uses. You could probably blame TOW inner whores Magnus Manske and Brian Vibber who wrote most of the fartery, but of course nothing will be done because they are an hero.

Quote

   
“ 		 
In closing I'll note that sometimes Encyclopedia Dramatica seems to me to go offline for long stretches. Is it a fly-by-the-seat-of-its-pants operation, where some dudes maintain the database on their personal hard-drives, getting bounced from one ISP to the next, and looking to get it back up?
  		„
  		 

— Triptych

Gallery

  • How you can tell when ED is slow.
    How you can tell when ED is slow.
  • Blank sidebars are signs of ED's slowness...
    Blank sidebars are signs of ED's slowness...
  • As well as double and triple posts
    As well as double and triple posts
  • ED goes downs.[1]
    ED goes downs.[1]
  • ED almost dies. Too bad it didn't.
    ED almost dies. Too bad it didn't.

Related Articles

External Links

 ED is slow

is part of a series on

Taking Down ED

[Retreat!Do It Faggot]
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Related Subjects and Methods

Censorship • DDoS • Free Speech • Get a Lawyer • Hacking • Make a Petition • Notify the FBI • Serious Business • SOPA • The Græt Niggercide of Old ED • Writing an article for Uncyclopedia • You vs. ED

ED is slow is part of a series on Language & Communication
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Click topics to expand
Featured article September 17 & 18, 2016
Preceded by
Pepe 		ED is slow Succeeded by
Hillary Clinton
Article of the Now November 4 & 5, 2021
Preceded by
No Nut November 		ED is slow Succeeded by
Graykat
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