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'''Far Cry 5: Cry Fartherererer''' is a [[sandbox]] [[FPS|first person shooter]] [[Videogame|game]] that is scheduled to be released on March 27, [[2018]], for the [[PC]], [[PlayStation 4|PlagueStation 4]] and [[Xbox One|X-Bone]]. The game is the eleventeenth entry in [[Ubisoft]]'s [[Far Cry]] franchise and only the fifth entry in the series that Ubisoft felt was good enough to [[Dubs|actually deserve a number]].
[[File:FarCry5.jpg|thumb|[[Fallout 4]] Remastered]]


Far Cry 5's plot revolves around a [[Christianity|religious cult]] called '''[[Heaven's Gate|Eden's Gate]]''' taking over [[Montana]] and murdering anyone who doesn't accept [[Jesus|JAAAAAYSUS]] into their hearts or who defies the will of Eden's Gate's leader, a [[batshit crazy]] [[redneck]] who calls himself "'''[[David Koresh|The Father]]'''" ([[Powerword]]: '''Joseph Seed'''). You play as an undercover [[police]] officer who is tasked with [[Mass shooting|killing the fuck out of]] Eden's Gate because [[President]] [[Donald Trump]] didn't think that it would be worth it to send in the goddamn [[Doom|U.S. Space Marines]] to save the people of Montana from being murdered and enslaved by a single family of [[Antifa|militant crackers]].
'''Far Cry 5: Cry Fartherer''' is a [[sandbox]] [[FPS|first person shooter]] [[Videogame|game]] that is scheduled to be released on March 27, [[2018]], for the [[PC]], [[PlayStation 4|PlagueStation 4]] and [[Xbox One|X-Bone]]. The game is the eleventeenth entry in [[Ubisoft]]'s [[Far Cry]] franchise and only the fifth entry in the notoriously [[CoD|shovelware-filled]] series that Ubisoft felt was good enough to [[Dubs|actually deserve a number]]. Unlike previous installments in the series which all revolved around shooting up [[niggers|savage islanders]] or [[Azn]]s, this time you finally get to hunt down good ol' [[American|Muricans]].


Far Cry 5's plot revolves around a [[Christianity|religious cult]] called '''[[Heaven's Gate|The Project at Eden's Gate]]''' taking over [[Montana]] and murdering anyone who doesn't accept [[Jesus|JAAAAAYSUS]] into their hearts or who defies the will of Eden's Gate's leader, a [[batshit crazy]] [[redneck]] who calls himself "'''[[David Koresh|The Father]]'''" ([[Powerword]]: '''Joseph Seed'''). You play as a [[police|deputy]] who is tasked with [[Mass shooting|killing the fuck out of]] Eden's Gate because [[President]] [[Donald Trump]] didn't think that it would be worth it to send in the goddamn [[Doom|U.S. Space Marines]] to save the people of Montana from being murdered and enslaved by a single family of [[inbred]] [[Antifa|militant crackers]].


Immediately following the release of the game's original reveal trailer in [[2017]], the internets' usual anti-gamer [[SJW]] scum praised the game for finally including the option to play as either of the two existing [[gender]]s and [[No|because they believed that the game's plot was going to be pure, unadulterated, Anti-Trump propaganda that would let them take out their seething inner-rage on white people that they disagree with politically]]. Upon learning that the game is actually based more on [[Waco]] than on the election of [[Hitler|Führer]] [[Drumpf]], however, they quickly [[Hypocrite|changed their tune]] and went back to bashing the game for being too [[violent]], not being [[liberal]] [[propaganda]], [[Tumblr|only including two gender options]] and not featuring enough [[Black people|racial diversity]] to use as [[Dylann Storm Roof|target practice]].




== Gameplay ==
[[File:FarCry5Gameplay.jpg|thumb|A thrilling battle with a [[fish]].]]
[[File:FarCry5Bull.jpg|thumb]]
{{clear}}
== JEWbisoft ==
In recent years, [[dick]]ish video game publishers often end up pushing [[overpriced]] "limited edition" bundles that usually include the game, the inevitable [[zombies]] [[DLC]] that will be shat out within 6 months, a stupid SteelBook case that will get dinged faster than [[Nikki Catsouras]]' Porsche and other assorted [[plastic crap]] that can include [[Figure Collecting|figures that you can jizz on]] or even [[Call of Duty|fucking refrigerators]]. Being the absolute [[Jews]] that they are, Ubisoft decided to release half-a-dozen different editions of Far Cry 5, each with different assortments of [[crap]] that you definitely don't need.
<center>
<gallery perrow=6>
File:FarCry5SeasonPass.jpg|30bux Season Pass
File:FarCry5Deluxe.jpg|70bux Deluxe Edition
File:FarCry5Gold.jpg|90bux Gold Edition
File:SteelBookGold.jpg|100bux SteelBook Gold Edition
File:FarCry5DeluxeSteelbook.png|100bux Deluxe SteelBook Edition
File:MondoEdition.jpg|100bux Mondo Edition
File:PipBoyEdition.jpg|120bux Pip Boy Edition
File:FatherEdition.jpg|160bux The Father Edition
File:HopeCountyEdition.jpg|180bux Hope County Edition
File:ResistanceEdition.jpg|200bux Resistance Edition
File:Juggernog.jpg|200bux Juggernog Edition
File:WadWad.jpg|1,000,000bux Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition
</gallery>
</center>
'''The Virgin Normal Edition'''
For $59.99 you can be a fucking [[n00b]] and buy the normal edition of the game so you'll have to spend $29.99 on the season pass if you ever want to play the DLC.
'''The Season Pass'''
For $29.99 you can purchase the Season Pass and get access to the [[DLC]] '''[[Zombies|Far Cry 5: Dead Living Zombies]]''', '''[[Vietnam|Far Cry 5: Hours of Darkness]]''' and '''[[Doom|Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars]]'''. You also get a "free" copy of Far Cry 3, which was easily the worst game in the franchise.
'''The Chad Deluxe Edition'''
For $69.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 Deluxe Edition''' which includes some stupid "exclusive" in-game items that will inevitably end up being included in the GotY edition in a couple years despite being "exclusive preorder bonuses".
'''The Jewgold Edition'''
For $89.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 Gold Edition''' which includes the deluxe edition extras and the season pass.
'''The Steal Your Gold Edition'''
For $99.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 SteelBook Gold Edition''' which is just the gold edition with a SteelBook case thrown in for an extra [[Something Awful|10bux]].
'''The EBGames Deluxe Edition With Extra Crap'''
For $99.99 you can buy the EBGames exclusive '''Far Cry 5 Deluxe SteelBook Edition''' which includes a soundtrack CD, a map of a fictional county in Montana and a SteelBook case. Being the "Deluxe Edition" it doesn't feature the season pass and forces you to shell out another 30bux or so if you want the DLC.
'''The Girlvinyl Edition'''
Also for $99.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 X Mondo Edition''' which includes a fucking [[vinyl]] soundtrack because Ubisoft are too square to get with the times and move to LaserDisc. This edition doesn't even include the fucking season pass.
'''The Fuck Me Daddy Edition'''
For $159.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 The Father Edition''' which includes a soundtrack CD, a map of a fictional county in Montana, a cardboard box and a [[Figure Collecting|12-inch figure of The Father that you can cum all over]].
'''The Baphomet Edition'''
For $179.99 you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 Hope County Edition''' which replaces the stupid figure with a [[Satanic]] deer skull that you can mount on your wall.
'''The Resistance With Keith Olbermann Edition'''
For $199.99 you can buy the [[Gamestop]] exclusive '''Far Cry 5 Resistance Edition''' which includes a bandana, a pin, postcards, a koozie and a "premium statue" that you can jizz all over. This edition was actually "cancelled", but Gamestop probably has about 5,000 of them in a warehouse and will start selling them on [[eBay]] for $20,000 a pop.
'''The Game of the Year Edition'''
For $59.99 and several years of patience you can buy the '''Far Cry 5 Game of the Year Edition''' and get all the DLC and deluxe content included for the same price that the day-one losers paid for just the base game.
== Far Cry Should Go Back To Africa ==
[[File:RaceWarEdition.jpg|thumb|]]
[[File:FarCry5SwastikaShop.jpg|thumb|Why don't you [[SJW]]s get off your lazy arses and actually watch the trailer before believing that [[shoop]]s like this are real?]]
* {{archive|JHdKN|Cancel Far Cry 5}}
* {{archive|MEgqr|Gamers United}}
{{squote|Enough is enough UbiSoft.  We’ve sat through your [[Gay|multicultural]] [[Rape|lectures]] and your preachy games aimed at degenerates and miscegenators.  We’ve tolerated it in the name of gameplay design and innovation.  But no more!  Far Cry 5 is an insult to your fanbase, the Americans who make up the majority of your customers, and it’s time you woke up to that fact.  Change this, or cancel it.
Us Gamers have had to endure a lot of crap over the last few years.  The targeted harassment by the mainstream press through [[Gamergate]], the terrible launch and [[Fable|outright lies of highly anticpated video games]], the outright [[censorship]] of art through “localization” policies, [[Lulz|the continued rejection of romantic partners when they find out our hobby]], the appropriation of our culture by so-called “gamers” on twitter.  NO MORE!
It’s time to draw a line in the sand.  We, the American gamers that make up the majority of your userbase, demand to you cancel this game, or [[Censor|alter]] it to be less offensive to [[Virgins|your main player base]].  In these times, you must understand that [[Death threats|there might be some violent repurcussions]] if you intend to follow through with your pointless criticism.|"Gamers United" {{archive|JHdKN}}}}
{{clear}}
== Far Cry: Trump's America ==
[[File:FuckWhiteyEdition.png|thumb|What [[liberals]] actually thought the game would be.]]
[[File:FarCryTrump.jpg|thumb|]]
{{quote|Finally a game about killing Right Wingers!|An enlightened twat on [[GameFAQs]]}}
{{clear}}
== External Links ==
* {{archive|ynzDO|Ben <s>Kuchera</s> Kuckera of <s>Polygon</s> Polycucks gives Far Cry 5 a 6.5/10}} - Because it's not the Alt-Right Killing Simulator [[Polygon]] thought it would hopefully be in the first place.
{{clear}}


== See Also ==
== See Also ==
* [[Far Cry]]
* [[Far Cry]]
* [[Fallout 4]]
* [[Fallout 4]]
* [[Waco]]
* [[Heaven's Gate]]
* [[Scientology]]




{{clear}}


{{sj}}
{{sj}}
{{Gaming}}
{{Gaming}}

Latest revision as of 17:19, 25 August 2024

File:FarCry5.jpg
Fallout 4 Remastered

Far Cry 5: Cry Fartherer is a sandbox first person shooter game that is scheduled to be released on March 27, 2018, for the PC, PlagueStation 4 and X-Bone. The game is the eleventeenth entry in Ubisoft's Far Cry franchise and only the fifth entry in the notoriously shovelware-filled series that Ubisoft felt was good enough to actually deserve a number. Unlike previous installments in the series which all revolved around shooting up savage islanders or Azns, this time you finally get to hunt down good ol' Muricans.

Far Cry 5's plot revolves around a religious cult called The Project at Eden's Gate taking over Montana and murdering anyone who doesn't accept JAAAAAYSUS into their hearts or who defies the will of Eden's Gate's leader, a batshit crazy redneck who calls himself "The Father" (Powerword: Joseph Seed). You play as a deputy who is tasked with killing the fuck out of Eden's Gate because President Donald Trump didn't think that it would be worth it to send in the goddamn U.S. Space Marines to save the people of Montana from being murdered and enslaved by a single family of inbred militant crackers.

Immediately following the release of the game's original reveal trailer in 2017, the internets' usual anti-gamer SJW scum praised the game for finally including the option to play as either of the two existing genders and because they believed that the game's plot was going to be pure, unadulterated, Anti-Trump propaganda that would let them take out their seething inner-rage on white people that they disagree with politically. Upon learning that the game is actually based more on Waco than on the election of Führer Drumpf, however, they quickly changed their tune and went back to bashing the game for being too violent, not being liberal propaganda, only including two gender options and not featuring enough racial diversity to use as target practice.


Gameplay

File:FarCry5Gameplay.jpg
A thrilling battle with a fish.
File:FarCry5Bull.jpg

JEWbisoft

In recent years, dickish video game publishers often end up pushing overpriced "limited edition" bundles that usually include the game, the inevitable zombies DLC that will be shat out within 6 months, a stupid SteelBook case that will get dinged faster than Nikki Catsouras' Porsche and other assorted plastic crap that can include figures that you can jizz on or even fucking refrigerators. Being the absolute Jews that they are, Ubisoft decided to release half-a-dozen different editions of Far Cry 5, each with different assortments of crap that you definitely don't need.



The Virgin Normal Edition

For $59.99 you can be a fucking n00b and buy the normal edition of the game so you'll have to spend $29.99 on the season pass if you ever want to play the DLC.


The Season Pass

For $29.99 you can purchase the Season Pass and get access to the DLC Far Cry 5: Dead Living Zombies, Far Cry 5: Hours of Darkness and Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars. You also get a "free" copy of Far Cry 3, which was easily the worst game in the franchise.


The Chad Deluxe Edition

For $69.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 Deluxe Edition which includes some stupid "exclusive" in-game items that will inevitably end up being included in the GotY edition in a couple years despite being "exclusive preorder bonuses".


The Jewgold Edition

For $89.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 Gold Edition which includes the deluxe edition extras and the season pass.


The Steal Your Gold Edition

For $99.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 SteelBook Gold Edition which is just the gold edition with a SteelBook case thrown in for an extra 10bux.


The EBGames Deluxe Edition With Extra Crap

For $99.99 you can buy the EBGames exclusive Far Cry 5 Deluxe SteelBook Edition which includes a soundtrack CD, a map of a fictional county in Montana and a SteelBook case. Being the "Deluxe Edition" it doesn't feature the season pass and forces you to shell out another 30bux or so if you want the DLC.


The Girlvinyl Edition

Also for $99.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 X Mondo Edition which includes a fucking vinyl soundtrack because Ubisoft are too square to get with the times and move to LaserDisc. This edition doesn't even include the fucking season pass.


The Fuck Me Daddy Edition

For $159.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 The Father Edition which includes a soundtrack CD, a map of a fictional county in Montana, a cardboard box and a 12-inch figure of The Father that you can cum all over.


The Baphomet Edition

For $179.99 you can buy the Far Cry 5 Hope County Edition which replaces the stupid figure with a Satanic deer skull that you can mount on your wall.


The Resistance With Keith Olbermann Edition

For $199.99 you can buy the Gamestop exclusive Far Cry 5 Resistance Edition which includes a bandana, a pin, postcards, a koozie and a "premium statue" that you can jizz all over. This edition was actually "cancelled", but Gamestop probably has about 5,000 of them in a warehouse and will start selling them on eBay for $20,000 a pop.


The Game of the Year Edition

For $59.99 and several years of patience you can buy the Far Cry 5 Game of the Year Edition and get all the DLC and deluxe content included for the same price that the day-one losers paid for just the base game.

Far Cry Should Go Back To Africa

File:RaceWarEdition.jpg
File:FarCry5SwastikaShop.jpg
Why don't you SJWs get off your lazy arses and actually watch the trailer before believing that shoops like this are real?
 
“ 		 
Enough is enough UbiSoft. We’ve sat through your multicultural lectures and your preachy games aimed at degenerates and miscegenators. We’ve tolerated it in the name of gameplay design and innovation. But no more! Far Cry 5 is an insult to your fanbase, the Americans who make up the majority of your customers, and it’s time you woke up to that fact. Change this, or cancel it.

Us Gamers have had to endure a lot of crap over the last few years. The targeted harassment by the mainstream press through Gamergate, the terrible launch and outright lies of highly anticpated video games, the outright censorship of art through “localization” policies, the continued rejection of romantic partners when they find out our hobby, the appropriation of our culture by so-called “gamers” on twitter. NO MORE!

It’s time to draw a line in the sand. We, the American gamers that make up the majority of your userbase, demand to you cancel this game, or alter it to be less offensive to your main player base. In these times, you must understand that there might be some violent repurcussions if you intend to follow through with your pointless criticism.
 

„
 

—"Gamers United" (archive)

Far Cry: Trump's America

File:FuckWhiteyEdition.png
What liberals actually thought the game would be.
File:FarCryTrump.jpg
   
“ 		 
Finally a game about killing Right Wingers!
  		„
  		 

—An enlightened twat on GameFAQs


External Links

See Also


Far Cry 5 is part of a series on

Social Justice

Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Far Cry 5 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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