- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
User:TylerRosenow/sandbox: Difference between revisions
imported>JuniusThaddeus Unprotected "User:TylerRosenow/sandbox": Not needed anymore. |
imported>JuniusThaddeus Unprotected "User:TylerRosenow/sandbox": Not needed anymore. |
(6 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |
(No difference)
|
Latest revision as of 00:38, 23 October 2013
The Daily Show is a half-hour fake news show on Comedy Central hosted by Jonathan Leibowitz✡ (aka Jon Stewart), a liberal Jew and failed stand-up comic. His Daily Show is the absolute definition of quantity over quality, catering to college-bound, Godless hipsters who may or may not be stoned. While the show and its staff possess some offputting attributes, their whiney muckraking and their insistence that facts > lies have proven to be somewhat endearing as a novelty to the American people, evidenced by the fact Jon Stewart has managed to become America's Most Trusted Jew, several years running. A part of his success stems from the fact that when not hosting The Daily Show, Stewart can be seen going to other shows just to troll their pundits.
Did You Know?
Craig Kilborn
No one knows or cares that the show was created in 1996, originally hosted by the ego-maniacal yet forgettable Craig Kilborn. He left the show after less than 3 years, taking with him all his intellectual properties; making it so that his replacement (Stewart) could not legally use recurring segments that appeared on the show during Kilborn's tenure. Let this quote help you form your everlasting impression of Kilborn.
—Craig Kilborn, on his network boss, Lizz Winstead. |
Steven Colbert
Although Jon Stewart likes to pretend he isn't riding Stephen Colbert's glorious brass-balled coattails, Stephen Colbert was actually on the show 2 years before Stewart arrived. Of course, the meek and humble Stewart did his best to mimick Colbert's Royco Cup of Soup-esque brand of ipso-facto trolling, but alas, he was not able-bodied nor manly enough to fill those shoes, and set Colbert free to create his own show.
Wyatt Cenac
One of the few bright spots on the current iteration of the show, Wyatt Cenac's self-appointed job title is Senior Black Correspondent. One of the cleverest niggers to ever nig, he often uses his ethnic background as a means to troll the white people he interviews, usually conservatives who have been recorded saying something racist.
Little-known fact: Wyatt Cenac was a head writer for King of the Hill.
The Untrollable Troll?
The Daily Show, as a "comedy" program, exploits many loopholes that render them invulnerable to criticism.
The Nightly Process
- Use the show to further liberal agendas;
- Show clips of other news channels criticizing The Daily Show;
- Tell viewers that other channels can't criticize them because it's a satire news show;
- Continue to use the show to further liberal agendas.
- Profit.
Shitcanning detractors who get too mad
Despite claiming to do it for the lulz, the surprisingly thin-skinned Stewart is known to undermine the careers of anyone lower than him on the television totem pole who has the unmitigated gall to criticize him too often.
In 2004, bowtie-clad conservative Tucker Carlson and equally obnoxious arch-liberal Paul Begalia invited Stewart to their debate show, Crossfire. After insulting both hosts to their faces, Carlson responded like the smartass he is by saying, "I do think you're more fun on your show." Stamping his spoiled little Jew feet, Stewart responded angrily:
Immediately after the shoot ended, Stewart proceeded to cry at the Crossfire staff for at least an hour. When Crossfire was canceled months later after 23 nauseating seasons, CNN president Jonathan Klein openly referred to Stewart's appearance on the show as a factor.
Embroiled in another battle of absent wits years later with CNN douchebag extraordinaire Rick Sanchez, Stewart decided that it was time to again call on the aid of the Zion media banhammer when Sanchez spoke honestly for a change in regard to Stewart and his ilk, and their absurd tendency to pose as victims:
—Rick Sanchez, in a rare moment of clarity |
After Sanchez was immediately fired for speaking the obvious truth, Stewart decided to add insult to injury on one of Comedy Central's many unfunny specials:
—Jon Stewart, intentionally obtuse |
This stratagem has the double advantage of trolling Sanchez while assuring (through implication, not statement) Stewart's brain-dead fanbase of addled hipsters and college kids that Jews don't actually own and administer the vast majority of North America's mass media production and distribution companies.
Should the unthinkable occur and a serious rift should come between Stewart and Stephen Colbert, the former will likely be powerless to do anything.
Global Zionist Conspiracy
See WTC
The Daily Show is part of the Jews' total reign over the U.S.A. By doing WTC, the Jews have cleverly manipulated the entire population to believe that watching The Daily Show constitutes an acceptable level of dissent against W and his policy of pwning all their taxes to pay for the Jewish controlled extermination of every towelhead on the planet.
Their grip was tightened further when Stewart and his Zionist Pig Overlords threw Rick Sanchez off of CNN for proving the existence of their horrible conspiracy.
The Rally To Restore Sanity
See main article at: The Rally To Restore Sanity.
In mid-September, 2010, Jon Stewart decided to jump on Stephen Colbert's massive ballsack and hitch a ride to Washington DC where Dr. Colbert would be holding a rally at the National Mall on Octobert 30th. This in an attempt to take the volume of the National Conversation down a notch after months of hysterical yelling from the pundits of Faux News about Black Jesus being a Commie, secret Moslem hellbent on destroying America, the rise of the angry mob of teabaggers led by Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin and the hysteria surrounding such IRL trolls as the Ground Zero Mosque and Burn A Koran Day.
"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
Who among us has not wanted to open their window and shout that at the top of their lungs? Seriously, who? Because we're looking for those people. We're looking for the people who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and terrible for your throat; who feel that the loudest voices shouldn't be the only ones that get heard; and who believe that the only time it's appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler. Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles. Are you one of those people? Excellent. Then we'd like you to join us in Washington, DC on October 30 -- a date of no significance whatsoever -- at the Daily Show's "Rally to Restore Sanity." Ours is a rally for the people who've been too busy to go to rallies, who actually have lives and families and jobs (or are looking for jobs) -- not so much the Silent Majority as the Busy Majority. If we had to sum up the political view of our participants in a single sentence... we couldn't. That's sort of the point. Think of our event as Woodstock, but with the nudity and drugs replaced by respectful disagreement; the Million Man March, only a lot smaller, and a bit less of a sausage fest; or the Gathering of the Juggalos, but instead of throwing our feces at Tila Tequila, we'll be actively *not* throwing our feces at Tila Tequila. Join us in the shadow of the Washington Monument. And bring your indoor voice. Or don't. If you'd rather stay home, go to work, or drive your kids to soccer practice... Actually, please come anyway. Ask the sitter if she can stay a few extra hours, just this once. We'll make it worth your while. |
See also
External Links
- John Oliver Rickrolls Jon Stewart
- Jon Stewart embarrassing Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on Crossfire
- Jon Stewart's Rally To Restore Sanity
- Rally To Restore Sanity on Failbook
TylerRosenow/sandbox is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |