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Pyramid Scheme

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Warning!
Multi level marketing (MLM) is another method by the Jews to extort money from you.
You can help yourself by not falling for their petty scams.

A pyramid scheme - also known as multi level marketing (MLM), pyramid selling, entry level business major job, network marketing, referral marketing, direct selling, endless chain, or "HEY THERE FACEBOOK FRIEND I LAST SPOKE TO IN 2007!! I HAVE AN AMAZING NEW BUSINESS STRATEGY THAT YOU AND ME CAN USE TO BECOME VERY SUCCESSFUL!!1" - is a type of get-rich-quick scam used to vacuum vast quantities of money out of the pockets of unsuspecting poor people and business majors who desire to get rich quick.

Although they have plagued the world since the 1920s, pyramid schemes have risen to a new kind of awful with the rise of teh internetz, and anyone with more than 100 contacts on any social media can expect, at some point, to be messaged by someone claiming they have an amazing new business strategy and they are so happy that they want to share it with you so you can be successful too!!!.

Since you are on this page, it is likely that you have been contacted by a pyramid seller. It is also possible that you have fallen for it. If this is the case, the best thing to do is to kill yourself. Unless you have been successful, in which case, happy trolling.

How does pyramid scheme work?

Fact Cat says:
This part are fact. Factcat knows because of his learndings.


Pyramid schemes make money in the following way: You have to pay to sign up to the scheme, and you have to pay to maintain your place within the scheme. You are promised that you will get paid a shitload of Jewgold for signing other people up to the scheme. And you will also get paid a cut from the people that your victims sign up to the scheme, and from their victims and so on. The people in the higher "ranks" of the scheme quickly acquire currency, and proudly display their vast wealth in the form of jewellery, cars and expensive alcohol, as a way of advertising the scheme to poor people with a message of "Look here faggot, I am shit rich and you are working in a normal job! You can be like me too if only you sign up to this wonderful thing!

Large numbers of poorfags sign up, and the lower ranks of the pyramid become filled with hundreds of worthless shitstains trying to get easy money. As mentioned previously, each person who signs up has to keep paying money up the ladder to stay in the "big family".

The end result is huge numbers of people continuously paying for something they think is going to get them rich, and a small minority of people at the top effortlessly pocketing huge amounts of money.


What are multi-level-marketing?

Fact Cat says:
This part are also fact. Factcat knows because of his learndings.


Because they are nothing but an elaborate form of theft, pyramid schemes are illegal almost everywhere. So the clever people who run these shitshows have come up with a loophole: Introduce a fake, worthless product for the pyramid scheme members to sell.

Multi-level-marketing is nothing but a legalised pyramid scheme!

This is known as pyramid selling or multi-level-marketing (MLM). The pyramid scheme is made legitimate, since the sellers can claim that the money they are making comes from selling the product (instead of signing people up to the scheme, which is where 99.9999999% of the money actually comes from). The products made by MLM companies are almost always worthless, and are usually either nutritional supplements, face creams and occasionally decorations and fashion accessories.

MLM is perfectly legal in Europe, the UK and the USA, and it is not uncommon to see ads for MLM companies on the back of buses, and to see MLM company logos plastered on the cars of the more successful pyramid sellers.


How to be successful at multi-level marketing?

If you know what you are dealing with from the beginning, are extremely sly, hard working, have a very good natural business acumen and (preferably) have higher education in business management, you can be successful in a pyramid scheme/MLM company. With those credentials, you can also get a real job that is less likely to result in you being v&, beaten up or murdered.

List of pyramid schemes/MLM companies currently active

AVOID at all costs unless you are a srs businessman, in which case, DO IT FAGGOT!

Name+website Logo Product
MarketAmerica (shop.com)

File:DEL market.png

Various
Kyäni (kyani.com)

File:DEL kyani.jpg

Supplements
Herbalife (herbalife.com) Example Supplements
Nuskin (nuskin.com) Example Skin care products
Nutricode Example Weight loss supplements
Amway Example Example
Usana Example Example
Rodan & Fields Example Example
Example Example Example
Example Example Example

How to troll pyramid sellers

  1. Call them pyramid sellers
  2. Call them fraudsters/scammers
  3. Call their company a pyramid scheme
  4. Expose their company's business model online
  5. Tell them to kill themselves
  6. Tell them to get a real job
  7. Call them victims
  8. Tell them they will never be successful
  9. Tell them to kill themselves
  10. Flood your Facebook wall with memes about pyramid selling
  11. Pretend to be interested in their product/organisation, then back out at the last minute
  12. Ask to speak to their superior
  13. Threaten to sue them
  14. Actually sue them
  15. Tell them to kill themselves
  16. Pretend to be a distributor in their company
  17. Ask them if they would be interested in your brand new exciting business opportunity
  18. Ask them why they don't start a real business
  19. Dox them
  20. Defame them online
  21. Tell them to kill themselves
  22. Kill them

See also

[RecessionInflation]
£€ Pyramid Scheme is a part of a series on Money
Companies

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People

Bernie MadoffBill GatesChad HurleyGregory KohsHal TurnerJewsJimbo WalesKlaus SchwabL. Ron JeremyLarry SangerLyor CohenMario LaudicinaMartin ShkreliSteve ChenSteve Jobs

Ideology / Politics

AusterityBailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

Selling

AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer

Topics

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