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Portal:Sex/Featured Article/Archive

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February 2023

Featured Article - Ass

Ass (zh: Ѡ) usually refers to a person's buttocks; a gathering of fat and muscle (mostly fat) upon which people sit. The most important part of the ass, the asshole is where faggots love the cock. Other individuals have ass fetishes and spend countless hours admiring photographs, artwork and depictions of the human ass and cumfarts.

(( BUTTS LOL ))

2018-2020

..are missing from our archives

December 2017

Featured Article - AIDS

AIDS, by many it is seen as a tragic disease, others, however, see it for what it really is, the greatest source of lulz ever conceived, for example: every 0.0001003402 seconds a baby in Africa dies of AIDS. It stands for Anally-Inflicted Death Sentence, Adios! Infected Dick Sucker, "Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome" for Wikipedians, and "S.I.D.A." in French, meaning "Sauvagement Introduit Dans l'Anus" (Savagely Introduced into Da Anus). AIDS is the politically correct term for GRIDS, Gay Cancer, and The Ebonic Plague.

In spite of the disease's name, AIDS involves no aid or assistance whatsoever.

Created by Ronald Reagan trolls during the 1980s to destroy niggers on the Internet, furries and faggots, AIDS is transmitted predominantly via buttsecks between two men. Aside from buttsecks, gay people can transmit AIDS by touch or injecting their tainted blood into harmless str8 people on the street. It is even possible to get AIDS by looking into the eyes of an infected person for more than roughly 8.3 seconds or by being kind or compassionate to any HIV-positive individual. Simply reading the Dan Savage web site can give you AIDS, and rumor has it that the code is encrypted in recent versions of the Conficker Worm. There are two different sets of diagnostic criteria in the first world and in Africa, to guarantee as many people die as possible!

AIDS is proof that God hates fags, and niggers, because ALL niggers have AIDS.

(( AIDS ))

March 2017

Featured Article - Rimjob

Also known as "analingus", a Rimjob is something enjoyed by sick fucks like tfo, as evidenced on ED IRC. A rimjob is typically performed by two homosexual males, and it is defined as "the art of inserting one's tongue into the anal crevice of your lover." Seriously fuckin' gay. There is also a World of Warcraft player called Efreet that loves to do this with his friends. Of course, he forces them. He plays on Grim Batol on EU. AlGore also likes to practice this degenerate act on teenage girls.

   
 
Dude WTF this is so GAY!
 

 
 

Your reaction to this feature

January 2016

Featured Article - Aneros

Aneros promises sexual fulfillment by stimulating the Male G-Spot. When you squeeze your shit scissor the lumpy plastic dong pushes against your prostate, eventually achieving orgasm. Its hands free operation makes one handed surfing no longer the only option. The workers of the world will stop masturbating in the bathrooms at their offices, and masturbate at will while working. The Fapomania caused by these promised "Super Orgasms" lead to ego death, and production world wide will slowly grind to a halt. The battle will be over.

   
 
We've had customers tell us that in the midst of these "Super-Orgasms" their beds shake uncontrollably, they lose all sense of time, and make "fierce" animal noises.
 

 
 

The plot unfolds

July 2014

Featured Article - Liz Hawryluk

Liz Hawryluk (aka Liz Burch) is a feminazi that is asking for a good hatefucking. In April 2014, Liz Hawryluk tried to squash free speech by imposing her moronic values on innocent pub goers at the UNC-based bar, Fitzgerald’s Irish Pub. However, justice prevailed when Hawryluk's actions became public, resulting in a butthurt Liz.

(( LIZ HAWRYLUK ))

March 2014

Featured Article - Walls Fall Out

Walls Fall Out is an educational film pertaining to sexual health, largely focusing on safe sex, especially anal. It is currently under review by a number of educational boards in the United States and expected to be shown in classrooms to children from the age of 10. For many years European schools have shown this video to children, which is why AIDS is more prevalent in the US.

(( WALLS FALL OUT ))

January 2014

Tiger Wumbasa Woods is a half-nigger / half Asian professional golfer famous for knowing where the white wimminz at. He's also known among specialists as an example of self-hating douchebag who-wants-to-escape-his-race-as-hard-as-he-can.

Tiger Woods was born at the age of zero with a putter in his hand with a black man for a father and an Asian woman for a mother. His dad used him as a slave for hauling around golf equipment and forced him to practice putting 14 hours a day. By the age of three Tiger was very good at putting balls in holes, and was whored out to old media TV hosts as a freakish golfing toddler.

(( TIGER'S WOOD ))

June 2013

Featured Article - Body Pillows

Body Pillows are inanimate sacks used by people for sleeping with. There are only a few reasons as to why one would NEED to use it. But for people who just WANT to use it, the reason is typically because they wish to forget or need help coping with the fact that they will die alone.

(( BODY PILLOWS ))