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/cow/
Ever wish you could read the latest gossip about unimportant people with mental diseases? You know, like TMZ for autism? Not only are you a classy person, but you're in luck!
/cow/ is an imageboard dedicated to lolcows, but don't let that discourage you. On 8chan, the web's current top toxic slime pit, anything goes! You can write anything you want about anyone, and /cow/ is eager to hear it! Your furry ex-boyfriends and high school bullies instantly become laughingstocks in the victim's pillory!
A Brief History of Tism
Unlike similar boards such as /b/ and /i/, /cow/ hasn't drawn much media attention to itself, likely because everybody on /cwc/ shat their pants and did nothing. Having been created as a place to talk about a lolcow whose handlers restricted others from trolling him, /cwc/'s oldest users were accustomed to being spoon-fed by successful trolls. Anyone trying to troll Chris who was outside of the "inner circle" was considered to be cancer killing the board.
Eventually, Chris' trolling winded down, and /cwc/'s interests became more general. One-time curiosities became the center of /cwc/'s attention, leading to /cwc/ trolling lolcows on its own. The spergs were desperate for content and the trolls were desperate for an audience. The board's title was eventually changed to /cow/ to reflect the shift towards finding and trolling its own lolcows.
Like a disease, the board, either as /cwc/, /cow/, or /atf/, has continued to exist despite incompetent hosts and butthurt people doing everything in their power to wipe it out. It's been hosted on several imageboards over the years, most of which were closed after /cow/'s boiling autism splattered on its handlers. It remains as a place for spergs to shitpost about children's cartoons and armchair psychology while laughing at retards sticking things in their poopers.
Chans
/cwc/ and /cow/ have had several hosts, all of whom conveniently have articles!
Krapple Komputer Kompany
The first /cwc/ was created here by Krappleguy. It went offline because the administrator hosted terabytes of Hentai on its server.
legi0n
/cwc/ was briefly hosted by Medic, the only /cow/boy who has ever trolled CWC. When other people tried to troll him, he threatened to end trolling completely, starting a shitstorm that continued until the end of legi0n.
789chan
A charming man visiting the board took issue with owner SeanieB's friendship with IHM, unraveling a web of drama that ultimately led to 789chan's closure.
n0chan
Krappleguy recreated /cwc/ as /cow/. Its host mysteriously disappeared.
888chan
NekoArc closed 888chan as a favor for fellow transwoman Kat Hache, a writer famous for authoring over 45,500 tweets.
n0chan
n0chan returns, this time hosted by SpacePirate, someone from NekoArc's inner circle! What could go wrong? He used donations intended to pay for hosting to commission furry porn and closed it so he could focus on his dishwashing career.
8chan
The current host of the board did a fine job running Wizardchan. Surely this one will last!
/cow/boys
The lurkers of /cow/ consider themselves experts on the high art of trolling in spite of the board exclusively punching down (or across). Its oldest users have posted on several iterations of the board because there is no cure for autism.
Beef with ED
/cow/ regularly dumps its garbage on our property, so ED dumps some garbage of its own.
Beef with the Kiwi Farms
/cow/boys have a longstanding beef with the Kiwi Farms, where over 5,000 people have written over 600,000 posts about Chris-chan. Kiwis--who /cow/boys lovingly call "foxdicks"--are believed to shitpost on /cow/ after being banned by Null.
To defend his flock from "cannibalism" by lolcow-hungry losers, Null advises all of the Kiwi Farms' new users to avoid using identifiers they use elsewhere so that trolls can't prove that they're exactly the sort of person they post about. /cow/ doesn't have this problem, of course--everyone's anonymous!
Beef with /pt/
Two /cow/boys trolled the first /pt/ so hard that it had to be put down.
Memes
Like all imageboards, /cow/ has shitty in-jokes that make the board unbearable.
The battle cry of an epic winner.
- A-Logging
A form of troll shielding where one says how angry a lolcow makes them for giving people with their condition a bad name.
Because /cow/ has no presence on KnowYourMeme, newfags went to ED for guidance and now use this word to troll oldfags.
- Digging up Patti
A longtime staple (sometimes accompanied by the inclusion of a tranny hooker tasked with doing the deed), because apparently digging up Chris-chan's long dead dog is hilarious and innovative.
Lolcows
—Chris-chan, digging up Patti | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
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Chris-chan -
Ahuviya Harel -
Robert Wayne Stiles -
Moleman9000 -
Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto -
MylarBalloonFan -
Jonathan Niehaus -
Peter and Ashleigh Coffin -
Dominic Vanner/Manlytears/BritbongReturns
Christian Weston Chandler
/cow/ was originally created as /cwc/ by Krappleguy in 2009. Since then, exactly one /cow/boy has successfully trolled Chris-chan. One of his trolls reported that the board's edgy color scheme bothered him and that there were "too many words."
ADF-Fuensalida/Ahuviya Harel
Sovereign leader of the nation of Australatina, ADF has declared war on /cow/, ED, and the Kiwi Farms in retaliation for their attacks on transgender latin@ wymyn. /cwc/ could not successfully troll ADF, but they eventually discovered that one of his friends-turned-trolls had potential.
Robert Wayne Stiles
Rika Stiles is the board's lolcow in residence. /cow/ dumps everything Robb does into his already fucking huge ED article to make him mad, making it virtually unreadable and ultimately shitting up ED. Robb believes that he invented trolling by drawing pentagram graffiti in the women's bathroom of his middle school. He plans to seduce his foremost troll and become the queen of /cow/.
Moleman9000
Gabriel Navarro is Dave Navarro's explosive half-brother who /cow/ is trolling off of the Internet. He demands capital punishment for cyberbullying, which is a crime. He achieved brief notability on ED for adding a persuasive argument for deletion to his article while blanking it, leading to its feature.
Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
Anthony LoGatto is a fanfiction author and anime fandubber who knows how to stuff a turkey. On /cow/, he insists that Chris-chan must be punished for giving men with Aspergers a bad name.
MylarBalloonFan
Samuel Peterson is a high functioning autistic "nineties kid" and mylar balloon fetishist who occasionally posts on /cow/ and vandalizes his own article. He believes that the 90s were the golden age of human history and documents his reasoning on his YouTube channels.
Jonathan Niehaus
Jonathan "Zoojay" Niehaus is a zoophile producer of dance music best known for the hit single "Husky Cock." His article was momentarily removed by mistake, causing local retards to claim that ED "has really gotten soft" and "has been complete garbage for years."
Peter Coffin
Peter Coffin is an award-winning web comedian whose wife is the target of an ongoing misogynist harassment campaign. Please donate to his Patreon for his wife's jaw surgery. Also, please buy Amazon products through his referral links. Please, just give him money!
BritbongReturns
Dominic Vanner (better known by his aliases of Britbong, BritbongReturns, and Manlytears) is the newest addition to /cow/'s rogues gallery. A self hating midget (he's literally 5'4 while claiming to be 5'10) with both daddy and mommy issues, Dominic has a long and sordid history with /v/ that involves a great deal of samefagging, shitposting, and tripfagging on his part. He first came to /cow/'s attention in 2016 when /v/irgins got fed up with Dominic constantly trying to advertise his failing Youtube channel on /v/ and proceeded to make a thread about him. Dominic himself will not only go balls deep into threads about his person in an attempt to defend himself from slander, but will also attempt to dox anyone and everyone in his threads that he believes to be masterminding the threads in the first place. This has led to mods putting a sticky on new thread about Dominic until the active sticky thread hits the posting limit.
Trolling /cow/
- Impersonate a popular lolcow.
- A troll pretending to be an attorney sent hotwheels a shitty cease and desist order. Hotwheels posted it on /cow/, Mike Cernovitch published it on his blog, and Milo Yiannopoulos retweeted it, causing GamerGate to use the #PeterCoffinWasRight hashtag to celebrate how "inept" its enemies are.
- Derail a thread with any political topic.
- Use two or more cow metaphors in a post.
- Remind them that ED is organized, and doesn't have wordfilters or a page limit.
See also
- /baphomet/, /cow/'s little sister
- /pt/, /cow/'s cosplaying waifu
- /i/, what newfags think /cow/ is
External links
|
Cow/ is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |