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Hero

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Hero is a word best used to describe a corpse as it will be used in the first sentence of the letter sent home by the Commanding Officer before the body to describe how a person died along with other meaningless words like brave, thoughtless and humble. As it has lost all its original meaning over the years, as people have even used it to describe someone who powered through a tear inducing - painful dump, the word Hero is now best used as a word of condolence to the family of someone who was dumb enough to get himself killed. The military has a saying, "You meet a veteran at the gate with all the other passangers. A hero gets picked up with the luggage"

   
 
The word Hero losing its meaning
 

 
 


The Original Hero

See Anti-Hero

The word Hero originates from the Greek word ἥρως (hērōs), meaning protector or defender and the Hero was nothing more than a character type no differant than the Slutty Girl or The Villain and was a resourceful, Ubermensch style character that is intrisicly flawed, perhaps by hubris, who put other's needs before his own and rose up, like David, to defeat what Joseph Campbell would describe as the ogre or the Dragon that was terrorizing his people or be someone like Parzival who begins his quest not knowing he has started on it by following Knights to Camelot who had impressed him with their talk. This first step by Parzival sets him off on an epic quest that will span years and will usually bring about a rebirth in him before the quest is completed and a rebirth or change for the better in the world when it is finished.
Where the first story of David is meant to be more of a history lesson and reenact events that serve as a lesson of faith to remind what a man is capable with G-D on his side, the second or the one refering to Parzival is meant more to teach an ideal as the story focuses more on Parzival's flaws like his loss of faith in G-D, loss of honor and guilt. Only by overcoming these flaws and truly understanding himself can Parzival be reborn spiritually and succeed at his quests.
In the Parzival story, or rather the epic quest the Enemy is less monsters and more themselves.
To quote Parzival from his grail quest, "Here I found it was myself who I was always standing against."


The Ancient Hero

Hal Jordan aka Green Lantern finally admits he hasn't done anything for African-Americans because he is racist.

Traditionally, heroes were the kind of men that could raze an entire village to the ground, slaughter the children, and be home with enough time to rape the women and eat dinner. Vikings are a prime example of the legendary heroes we laymen once worshiped as minor deities. It is thanks to the viking invasion of Scotland that there is still a large enough human-to-sheep-blood ratio to allow successful breeding of humans. If ever one finds themselves in the shadow of an ancient hero, they should be forewarned that they could get stepped on, or at the very least, almost raped.

The Modern Hero

The greatest hero of them all

The modern hero, is any person who manages to capture the attention of stupid teenage girls. An example of a proclamation of heroism:

PrincessBrittany1122: liek, omgwtfbbq, that singer is liek, totaly HAWT, hes liek, totaly mi HERO!!!11
SekcStephie6969: omigod i no he is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mien 2!
Tom Hanks is a goddamn warhero!

The Real Hero

Everybody knows that real heroes, like Superman, wear leotards. Firemen are not real heroes, contrary to popular belief; they are actually part of the Illuminati Jewish conspiracy.

An hero

He was such an hero

to take it all away.

We miss him so, this you should know,

and we honor him this day.


He was an hero to take that shot

to leave us all behind.

God, do we wish we could take it back

And now he's on our minds.


Brother, nephew, son and friend

He was all these things and more.

Yes, we'll always remember seeing him

with his brains upon the floor.

See Also