Clare Werbeloff

CHK CHK BOOM!!!!

Clare is a fearless defender of the Aussie way of life.

(Before we begin, a "wog" can also be a term for a black person. Be advised and edit accordingly.)

Every once in a while, there comes along a troll who manages to capture the hearts and ensnare the minds of other trolls and mundanes alike. Be it their charisma, charm, intellect, humour or dedication, these people are to be revered and are often looked-up to within this internet culture we all include ourselves in.

But sometimes, a hot bitch just says something stupid, and it gets on the news.

Clare Werbeloff (aka, The Chk Chk Boom Girl) is typical Sydney scum and an Australian attention whore who managed to IRL troll the Australian media. This is no feat, however, as many people have been able to do it with relative ease. What makes her special is that I would totally give her one. Clare rose to Internet fame by giving a first person account into the sporting antics of some of the the lesser species of humanity to a Nine News camera crew covering a shooting in Sydney.

The Video

Clare preparing for the daily flood of immigrants.

Imagine, if you will, the hard streets of Sydney's Kings Cross. The Cross is an infamous red light district located in Sydney, Australia's biggest city. Its a weekend night, and drunk and disorderly people are walking the streets looking for entertainment. Suddenly, gunfire, and screams wail from the terrified onlookers as a gang shooting unfolds right before their very eyes. A large man of Lebanese heritage has gunned down a man also of Lebanese heritage, but of a smaller build. Police are summoned, and without delay news teams from Australias Nine Network are dispatched to document the drama which is unfolding.

In order to display a first hand account of the procedings, they call for a eye witness account from a girl, Clare Werbeloff, of the proceedings and an intricate timeline of the shooting. Little did they know, the entire interview was a fabrication, albeit an entertaining one. The antics of Clare were broadcast, never-the-less, and within a short time, went viral on YouTube. Hence, the birth of a mainstream Meme of sorts, Chk Chk Boom! and The fat wog shot the skinny wog.

24 hours elapse, and already T-Shirts emblazened with her now-infamous words are being sold on a US website. Drink bottles that also featured the words were produced as was a rap music video remix.

	“	This morning, my friends and I came out of a tattoo parlour and there were these two wogs fighting. And the fatter wog said to the skinnier wog, "Oi bro, you slept with my cousin, eh?" And the other one said, "No man, I didn't for shit, eh!" And the other one goes, "I'll call on my fully sik boyz, eh!" And then he pulled out a gun and went CHK CHK BOOM!	„
	—Clare, on wog antics

The Reaction

Predictably, knickers were in twists all over the old media and Internets after Clare's account of the events of the evening, and not too long after that a meme was born. The greasy wheels of capitalism went in motion to create CHK CHK BOOM merchandise for the meme market, and White Knights proclaim how shocked and appalled they are to anyone who cares to listen to them. She has now been hounded out of her home, and the drama shitstorm raged even harder when it was revealed that she didn't witness the shooting at all, and was only saying so for a laugh, and to get the attention that her daddy didn't give her.

Unsurprisingly, A Current Affair - a shitty Faux News wannabe programme - are thinking of hiring her as a presenter. They claim this is because they are impressed with "her look, confidence and chutzpah", but it's mainly because their uber-conservative immo-hating audience will bust a nut all over their television screens when she comes on with her delightful social commentary.

Unfortunately Skippy The Bush Kangaroo was unavailable for comment.

Quotes

	“	The revelation that Clare Werbeloff made up her “chk-chk boom” story changed everything, just like September 11. Indeed much of the moral outrage over the 19-year-old indicates that to many people the two events are of similar significance.	„
	—The Daily Telegraph, on how Jews did Clare

	“	NEWSFLASH: Clare Werbeloff is a fraud! The fact is that she did NOT witness the shooting. This was confirmed by Kings Cross Police. This complete nut-case called Claire Werbeloff is clearly an attention-seeking girl with a histrionic personality disorder.	„
	—An Internet psychologist gives their diagnosis

	“	This is the devil speaking in this video. The devil has taken over clares body at that moment and has attempted to spread hatred and to bring this poor girl down. But clare must find the lord and purify herself. she will spread naked on mens magazines for mens pleasures.and that is also satans work. please see this people because god loves you. be a RAM and not a sheep. Its what jesus wants.	„
	—[[1]], on how Satan hates wogs and loves lad mags

	“	so wogs can call themselves wogs, niggers can call themselves niggers. and they both call whites "white cunts"..but a white calls it how it is and its racist..when is this bleeding heart racism going to stop..yes whites are the Superior race. thats why you all want to be white,just ask Michael Jackson.	„
	—[[2]]

	“	Lol i first thought this was in the UK, then i realized there was something very wrong when the hot girl was interviewed. UK got no fucking hot babes.	„
	—[[3]], on Australia's only justifiable reason to exist

	“	I saw her full interview and must say she is sexy.shes fully sick bro wallah she is mate. She make me proud for being an australian.Love her	„
	—[[4]], proud patriot