Jews

Jews (also known as: Kikes, Hebes, Hymies, Yids, Bankers, Financiers, Nosedniggers, Gold Niggers, Oven Magnets, Oven Dodgers, Big Noses, Sheenies, Swindlers, Criminals, Firewood, Arabs in Denial, Thieves, Moes, and filthy fucking scum who need to be wiped off the Earth) are a sub-human species of extraterrestrial reptilians and adherents to one of the world's oldest religions, called "Judaism", also known as "The Worship of Money" and "Ritual Infant Sacrifice". Some famous Jews include: everyone who works on television, in movies, in radio, and in print media.

Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today leaders in the Jew state of Israel often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis. But this is all bullshit, since there's no pure Jewish left as they all mixed with white people, niggers, niggers, arabs (they're the same as the arabs, lol), slavs. In addition, according to studies ashkenazi jews's male haplotype is mideastern while the female side european.

Despite only being 0.19% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. (See: Rothschild, Warburg, etc.) They also control the media, the banks, LiveJournal's porn and gay communities, textbook publishers, music (especially rap), gold, and diamonds. And no, we're not fucking joking about this. If you don't believe that Jews control everything, just look up a list of Media Jews or finance Jews on Google. Or just look at the always disproportionate number of Jewish names in the governments of the West. Case in point, Roman Polanski and and Jeffrey Epstein got off without serious punishment for raping little girls (as recommended in their holy book, the Talmud), something a goy would have done serious pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for. The Jews use the money to fund their militarized colony of Israel, a Jewish state created in the Middle East, which Jews consider the Promised Land. The Arabs don't think so, so Israel has fought many wars, and has turned the Jews into a warrior race as well as a scummy thieving one. Basically, the only part of the world that's not controlled by the Jews is Asia, because the Muslims don't tolerate their kike bullshit and the only way for Jews to hold them down is to send the Israel Defense Forces to buttfuck them, and the Chinese are the only race with potential to out-Jew the Jews and actually threaten them.

All Jews possess the following features: Big, hooked noses; Sloped Foreheads; A flattened rear skull; Evil-looking eyes; Horns (according to the Bible); The ability to scream "anti-semitism!" in 14 different languages; Curly hair; One of those gay hats; USI; A love of coke (when it can be found cheaply enough); A law practice; A persecution complex; A roll of (someone else's) money; An obsession with killing Muslims; shitty taste in dental hygiene.

Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Modern Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to finance the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from Judaism) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.

The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.

At this point, the average person might say, "Wait a minute... that sounds like a conspiracy theory!!! One small race couldn't possibly be responsible for so much evil!" Well, here's a fun fact: in 1913, Jews seized control of America's sovereign power to control its own currency by establishing the Federal Reserve system (a parasitic ponzi scheme, modeled on the earlier Rothschild-dominated Bank of England, in which any dollar printed as legal currency is actually a dollar of debt owed, with interest, to the Jew-controlled private banks who own the shares of the regional Fed banks). The architect of this system was a Jew named Paul Warburg. Paul's brother, Max Warburg, worked directly under Hjalmar Schacht in Germany and directed the currency policies of the Third Reich that allowed Hitler to build his war machine. What's truly fascinating is that the Warburg family has a long history of grand-scale fraud -- the family was originally named del-Banco, and was the most prominent banking family in the Republic of Venice during that state's period of imperial supremacy in the 1400s. It's somewhat stunning to contemplate that it's not merely impersonal monetary systems that have existed for so many centuries, but in fact for over 500 years the same Jewish families have overseen them and maintained economic dominance.

Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.

Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.

Jews have also founded their own country, Israel, which is their base of operations.