Haskell

Haskell is the world's leading functional not-functional gay toy language. It was created when a fat guy that constantly ate curry smoked too much pot and started saying stuff like "a proof is a program; the formula it proves is a type for the program". Then he met a bunch of lambda-calculus expressions and thus, haskell was born.

File:Gay lambda sticker-p217460008713382091tr4z 152.jpg

haskell symbol

One of the main features of Haskell is the strong type system which ensures that when a haskell program is compiled it will behave exactly as you want. It also ensures that your program will never compile. To achieve this it enforces strict rules prohibiting integers to mix with reals, numbers with lists etc. This is supervised by the type checker that not only checks your type but he can also can figure out it in case you didnt declare it.

Typical Haskell Code

File:Pedohaskell.png

haskell, trying to approach children. it's fun fun fun!

module Main where{import List;import System;
import Data.HashTable as H;(???????)=(concat
);(??????)(???)(????)=((groupBy)(???)(????))
;(??????????????????????)(????)=((??????????
)((tail).(???????))((????????????????????)((
??????)(?????????????????????)(????))));(??)
=([' ']);(??????????????)=((hashString));(?)
=((>>=));(???????????????????????)([((???)),
(????)])=((?????????????)(???))?(\(?????)->(
(????????????????)(==)(??????????????))?(\((
???))->((??????????????????)(???????????????
)(???)(?????))>>((?????????????????)(???))?(
\((?????))->((((???????????????????)((????))
((??????????????????????))((?????))))))));((
???????????????????????))(??)=(????????????)
("usage f dic out");(?????????????????????)(
(???),(??????))((????),(????????????????????
))=((???)==(????));(?????????????????)(???)=
(toList)(???);(????????????????????)(????)=(
((??????????)(((??????????)(snd)))((????))))
;(??????????????????)(???????????????)(???)(
(?????))=(((mapM)(((???????????????)(???)))(
(lines)(?????))));(???????????????????)(????
)(???????????????????????)(?????)=(?????????
)(????)((unlines)((???????????????????????)(
?????)));(????????????????)(???)((????))=(((
new)(???)(????)));(main)=((???????????)?(((\
(???)->((???????????????????????)(???))))));
(???????????????)(???)(????)=((????????)(???
)((sort)(????))((??)++(????)));(???????????)
=(getArgs);(????????????)(???)=((((print))((
???))));(??????????)(???)(????)=(((map)(???)
(????)));(????????)((???))(????)(?????)=((((
H.insert))((???))(????)(?????)));(?????????)
((???))((????))=(((writeFile)(???)((????))))
;(?????????????)(???)=(((readFile)((???))))}

Anonymous Functions

As everybody knows, functions in haskell are those that couldnt be accepted by any other programming language (mostly because they are lazy and slow). It wasnt long before a group of anonymous functions managed to intrude the haskell type system with the sole purpose of trolling the other functions and anyone that would try to read the haskell code

Currying

Since every haskell fan is bulimic they have developed a way to make every function edible (even the shitty haskell functions) by adding their favourite curry sauce. They simply take one function and substitute one or more variables with curry and then they proceed to eat it.

Gallery

• haskell fans
  haskell fans
• typical haskell bookstore
  typical haskell bookstore
• illuminati support haskell
  illuminati support haskell
• eating a curried function
  eating a curried function