COBOL

COMMON BUSINESS ORIENTED LANGUAGE is the prune juice of the programming world. If you still know how to use colbol, you are a respected and valuable member of the programming community, as very few people are wizened enough to know how to program in COBOL. COBOL was invented by a woman, which is probably the main reason why it downright sucks giant cocks. We all know that wimminz never make anything worthwhile.

EXAMPLE CODE

 
  ENVIRONMENT DIVISION.
  *THIS IS A COMMENT.  PERIODS (BESIDES COMMENTS) DENOTE END OF STATEMENT.
  IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
  PROGRAM-ID.	HELLO WORLD.
  
  ENVIRONMENT DIVISION.
  INPUT-OUTPUT SECTION.
  
  DATA DIVISION.
  WORKING-STORAGE SECTION.
  
  PROCEDURE DIVISION.
  MAINLINE.
  DISPLAY "HELLO WORLD".
  END-RUN.

1. Divide envrionment
2. Comment a line of code
3. Write a shit-ton of code
4. Hello world
5. ????
6. PROFIT!!

In python, a similar program would only take about 5 lines, as opposed to over 9000, which is why COBOL sucks.

trolling COBOL coders

• (if their a wimminz) steal their depends
• eat their prunes
• steal all of the hard caramels
• destroy social security
• take a shit in the local bingo hall
• walk all over their lawn
• raid the dollar store

See Also

• Programming
• C
• Nerd

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