Alyssa Bustamante

	“	She was just always so sweet and everybody loved her...	„
	—A slight misjudgment of character

On October 21, 2009, Elizabeth Olten of Cole County, Missouri went missing. Over the next 48 hours, the authorities searched high and low for the 9 year old girl as literally hundreds of volunteers gave up their time and energies to find the missing Olten. Who could have taken her? Was it a serial killer? Was it a sex offender? Could it have been a roving pack of white slavers looking for children to send off to Brunei? As it turns out, it was none of these things, but rather, a psychotic 15 year old girl who was a neighbor to the Oltens.

During the fruitless search, the apparently unassuming hipster emo Alyssa Bustamante was questioned and admitted to the killing. She then led police officials to one of several pre-dug graves that she had prepared and displayed the grisly corpse of young Elizabeth. When asked why she killed the young girl, Alyssa’s only reply was “I wanted to know what it felt like,” which even the most casual readers of Encyclopedia Dramatica will realize is the offline equivalent of saying “I did it for the lulz.” Now, Alyssa Bustamante is being hailed by some newfags, as the new queen of b, but it probably won't last long.

Background

Inevitable angle shot.

Born: January 28, 1994

Just like the literally millions of American kids growing up today, Alyssa was yet another overprotected, underachieving middle-class white girl whose life of bored excess would make a large African village swoon just to see the opportunities the girl had and had wasted. Her teachers and principal have described her as a smart girl, but often sneaky and clever. She was the recipient of good grades, but was also very callous when it came to dealing with other students, often ridiculing their mistakes and laughing when they were hurt. Since she had attempted suicide at age 13, she was on anti-depressant medication and was supposedly under close scrutiny by her elderly grandmother, who probably couldn't see the end of her nose let alone look after a energetic suicidal killer-in-waiting.

Other blatantly ignored warning signs concerning her overall mental state include:

she often slept out in the woods by herself
she told her guardians that she was attending church services while in reality she was taking bus rides to nearby St. Louis to do God knows what.
she often posted negative thoughts on her YouTube profile, listing “killing people” under her hobbies.
she masturbated to Glenn Beck.

For fun, she enjoyed such trivial things as music, cutting herself, torturing her younger brothers…and eventually, murder.

Oh, and also, she had a history of mental illness.

The Crime

Elizabeth Olten, the 9 year old victim.

The only real crime here was that Elizabeth Olten would strut around the neighborhood in provocative clothing whilst muttering sexual innuendo to passers-by. Elizabeth also often played in the woods near her home, but was so scared of the dark, she was always home prior to 7:00pm. When she didn’t turn up by that time, her parents knew something was up. They called the Cole County Sheriff’s office and alerted them that they might have accidentally their daughter. This led to a county wide search that produced nothing after 48 hours of constant investigation. It seems Bustamante had hidden the body so well, searchers had already canvassed the area in which Olten’s body was hidden and had turned up no evidence.

Alyssa strangled, stabbed, and then slit the throat of Elizabeth Olten on October 21, 2009. She then disposed of the body by placing it in a grave (one of several) she had dug prior to committing the murder. Don't pretend all this isn't giving you an erection. Since Olten is a minor, several details of the crime have been left out due to the grisly nature of the slaying, but one can imagine what kind of alarming and unsettling things the 15 year old Bustamante performed on the corpse after death. Since Alyssa listed “Cutting” as one of her hobbies on her now deleted YouTube account, you can probably imagine the sorts of fun she had with the cooling corpse of young Olten.

	“	I just fucking killed someone. I strangled them and slit their throat and stabbed them now they’re dead. I don’t know how to feel atm. It was ahmazing. As soon as you get over the “ohmygawd I can’t do this” feeling, it’s pretty enjoyable. I’m kinda nervous and shaky though right now. Kay, I gotta go to church now...lol.	„
	—Alyssa on her online journal just after the killing. No regrets.

Jail and Court

You'd probably tap that.

And that.

“	"We were able to obtain some physical evidence and through some analysis of some of the evidence and in all honesty some written evidence, we were able to develop a person of interest. Once we reached that person and interviewed them, ultimately, they led us to where we've recovered Elizabeth's body."	„
—Cole County sheriff Greg White

After turning herself in for questioning and then finally showing the authorities the location of the body like a big fat wuss, Bustamante was arrested and charged with one count of first degree stabby stabby and one count of armed criminal action because she had used a weapon (the knife) during the committing of a crime. The Cole county courts ordered that Alyssa be held without bond and be placed within a juvenile prison until she could be properly charged as an adult. Most Japanese people and you would likely be happy to properly charge her right now.

Surprise Surprise!

Her mother Michelle Bustamante has a history of drug and alcohol charges and her father Ceasar Bustamante is serving several more years in a Missouri prison on assault charges.

A Small Problem

Oh yeah and that. Keep her out of prison so she can gargle our balls.

	“	The state has no secure facilities with fences for female juveniles. Youths in Missouri's juvenile system generally are housed in group settings and are not typically watched by staff 24 hours a day.	„
	—Bill Herbele, Missouri Youth Services explaining the likeliness of dildorape in prison.

Since Missouri has no facility for under-aged female offenders, this brought forth yet another problem for the prosecutor: where would they house the minor female until the court could decide what to do with her? Her court-appointed defense attorney, Kurt Valentine argued that Alyssa, if left in an adult female prison would:

	“	Either kill herself or be assaulted and killed by others. We are throwing away the child and we are signing a death sentence for Alyssa, She is not going to survive her time in the Cole County jail.	„
	—Lulz defence counsil

Finally, after much whining and crying, Bustamante was placed in an “undisclosed location” until the proceedings can be finalized.

Guilty

On January 10, 2011, appearing before a judge in Cole County, Alyssa Bustamante plead guilty to second-degree murder and armed criminal action.

Sentencing is scheduled for Feburary 6, about a week after her 18th birthday.

Tried as an Adult?

Prosecutors are now arguing that Alyssa be tried as an adult, if only for the systematic premeditation and brutality with which she carried out her crimes. If she is charged with first degree murder as an adult, she can be given the death penalty, but would probably face life in prison due to Missouri’s lame prison sentences and limp-wristed execution laws. As it is now, she will probably be charged as a minor and be back out on the streets when she turns 21—a short five years from now.

I guess you don't really care
If she's tried as a minor

If she's tried as a minor
Because you are posting her court information
To an online public website!

To an online public website!

Sentence

A life of this, shit that ain't bad at all!

Last thursday the sentencing hearing took place. Alyssa Bustamante (in what can only be described as a severe case of troll's remorse) changed her original deposition of "I did it for the lulz, to "I'm sorry guise!!!""". The judge then decided that this was a disgusting pussy move, consequently giving her a sentence of life in prison and an invitation to his quarters. Her sentence will now force taxpayers to pay $22,650 a year for this crazy emo bitch to be fed and taken care of. This is why we here at ED energetically support the an hero culture for all criminals.

The Nut Hatch

~~Creepy Chan~~ Alice Cooper impersonation

While in the custody of the Missouri prison system, Alyssa attempted suicide by cutting herself with her fingernails. Authorities were so alarmed by the viciousness of her actions, they decided to argue whether the teen girl needed to be placed in a mental hospital for further evaluation. After much deliberation, Alyssa’s defense attorney has successfully had Alyssa taken out of Missouri’s prison system and now she languishes in a state mental facility for at least the next 96 hours for evaluation.

Quotes

	“	Bad decisions make great stories.	„
	—Alyssa Bustamante predicting her ED article.

	“	It's not like she kept it private, people would see her wrists. And she'd just kind of be like, 'Oh well it's whatever,' and then just kind of laugh it off. She really didn't seem to care much about herself.	„
	—One of her boring friends.

	“	As a 16 year old girl, I weigh around the same weight and I can dig a hole. I mean all you need is a shovel, not a boyfriend. She was a 15 year old girl who had power over this 9 year old girl. This young girl probably looked up to Alyssa. I doubt she needed anyone to help her. I believe she should be tried as an adult and hopefully put to death for her heinous crime.	„
	—blah blah blah heinous crime i'm a massive killjoy blah blah blah

	“	Lets put this Alyssa tragedy aside for a moment. I'm a 50 year old women. When I was in J.H and H.S. We weren't put on Prozac or Prozac want-a-bez. If we were hard to handle we got my ass beat. And if we were depressed our Mom's noticed and somehow made it right. Oh ya, we didn't kill each other either.	„
	—A concerned Karen Johnston who got her ass beat.

	“	I'm sorry, I can't blame the kid entirely. Something is happening to kids. Some say it's medicated, some say it's video game, or the music, others say it's because we kicked God out. Maybe it's all of these in which instead of coming up with new solutions maybe we should try to get back to some old ways.	„
	—ALL HAIL SATAN EVERYDAY

	“	Are you serious ! this "MONSTER" of a human needs to be put to rest for good. This is not normal and there is no EXCUSES for this behavior. I am a parent of four and I could not imagine this happening to one of my kids. She is a threat to herself and everyone arround her. This was pre-meditated and she should be given the death penalty. She does not deserve to ever get to live a normal life after commiting such a crime. I hope she gets a judge that agrees. Hopefully a judge that has grand kids and can relate. This is a horrific tradegdy and my heart goes out to the family of the victim. I hope you recieve the justice you deserve.	„
	—An overreacting party pooper

	“	If anyone would just look at all the women and children who have killed 'out of their character' it always leads to this, they are all on psychotropic drugs that causes them to have these thoughts, look at susan smith, (on psycho meds), andrea yates (on five different psycho meds), the columbine high boys (one which was on at least one psycho med) and thousands of others, I started looking into this factor years ago when I was a psych student and many people would say 'oh they were nuts before the meds', but show me the same number or women and children who kill without being on meds? the numbers are staggering!	„
	—It’s gotta be the druqs

	“	I hope that the media will keep in mind who the victim is. I would like to know who Elizabeth was. What made her laugh? Her favorite ice cream? What she wanted to be when she grew up? I would like to know all the special things about that precious angel that made her who she was.	„
	—pedophile in New York.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

YouTube

As soon as the nature of the case was revealed several members of the YouTube community came forward and notified YouTube that Bustamante’s account was still active. YouTube promptly deleted the account, thus depriving millions of internet rubberneckers the ability to see some of her antics. Fortunately, some smart guy found a way to download some of her videos and then re-uploaded them to a new account:

Alyssa, laughing as her brothers cripple themselves.

Alyssa, getting her brothers to shock themselves on an
electrified fence for teh lulz

Alyssa is not in this video as she is holding the camera.
Listen as she attempts to get her friends to drown each other.

Previous Video | Next Video

Facebook activism

When evil killers and sex offenders threatens our society, the noble right wing comes to our help. Since the right wing loves peace, life and children, they want to kill dear Alyssa and burn her at the stake. The facebook group "Alyssa Bustamante - Miscreant Psychopathic Child Killer" created by Timothy Nelson has the peaceful description "For like-minded individuals to gather and burn this little bitch at the stake ~ Or atleast talk about it.". Then the internet love machine found it and decided to have som fun.