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SCP Foundation
This article needs moar text of before and after tumblrized SCP articles and safe for work LGBT SCP articles that go beyond the trans-homestuck one. You can help by adding moar text of before and after tumblrized SCP articles and safe for work LGBT SCP articles that go beyond the trans-homestuck one. |
The SCP Foundation is a website that was created after a post on /x/ became really popular and other people started writing more stories in that style so this site was created to preserve them and make more. Sadly, the chantards who could have made this idea good had no interest in something so cringy, so instead, the site soon became a breeding ground for 12 year olds who can't write. The wiki itself is hosted by Wikidot and is managed by an arrogant team of left-wing-biased, LGBTQA+ staff members who are hell-bent on turning a once apolitical writing site into Tumblr 2.0. In order to write for the SCP wiki, an applicant must be at least fifteen years of age (as is enforced by snobby, holier-than-thou college kids with degrees in gender studies and oversensitiveness), demonstrate decent grammatical skills, and demonstrate a maturity level befitting a fifteen-year-old in general. These requirements are never actually met, contributing to the sad state of the site.
Today, after years of operation, the SCP continues to chug along, shitting out █████████ ███████, while the highest rated stories remain the few good ones they stole from 4chan, some awful shit with ████ monsters that have accumulated upvotes for the last decade by appealing to goth gradeschoolers despite being trash, and a handful of stories not written the week the site opened that can only gain notoriety by desperately looking for stupid gimmicks so the community will notice them because growing your e-peen on SCP isn't, and has never been a subset of being good at writing.
Overview
In-universe, the SCP Foundation is approximately 50% gnarly and 50% ██████. Articles on the SCP wiki consist of mainly SCP objects (the most infamous example being SCP-173; wiki users will attack you if you ask them if the Weeping Angels of Superdoctortumblr-Wholock came first, as they actually did not) which are formatted in a manner similar to this article, in that they are written in clinical diction, use false percentages and statistics, and describe a concept that most likely needs to be kept behind several hundred feet of lead and concrete on an average day. The primary alternative to an SCP article is a Tale, which is an unnecessarily capitalized term for a story. Tales almost always deal with the grand adventures and moral/existential conflict of people living and working in one of the Foundation's many Sites (the most frequently referenced of which is Site 19, where 90 percent of the 50 percent aforementioned cringe-worthy-ness takes place), but can also be about apocalyptic events written in a style overflowing with purple prose, sentient/sapient SCP objects wishing they weren't forced to live in a box, or even totally canon gay sex between two prominent and overused staff author avatars.
The SCP authors are very arrogant, talking endlessly about their "high standards". In order to write on their wiki, you have to fill out a fucking application (no joke), respect stupidly complex sets of guidelines, and they even have a fucking historian dedicated to writing the Foundation's story from an IRL perspective. It even reaches ridiculous proportions, when they call out the infinitely more popular Cthulhu for being boring and not meeting their "high criterias", forgetting that the Foundation itself is only a shitty Delta Green ripoff, which is Cthulhu-based (and better in every way).
Ironically, one of their most high-voted articles can be summed up as "I'm writing an article with images, look how clever I am!".[1] So much for the "high standards that even Cthulhu can't measure up to".
Satellite ███████
Though the userbase of the main wiki can be somewhat laughable at times, it is mostly made up of people who can actually spell (as opposed to the userbase of the Creepypasta wiki) and are, for the most part, decent writers. However, thanks to Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, and the concept of fanfiction in general, the satellite fandom of the SCP universe has caused cringe levels in exposed subjects to spike by 90 percent in the last two years, with no signs of decreasing. The main contributor to this effect is of course the ████ ██, which seems to have a memetic effect that causes approximately 20 percent of witnesses to be affected in some manner. Said effects range from feeling compelled to draw erotic images of author avatars (again), write really awkward gay smut (of the sort that doesn't make it onto the main wiki), or create an entire blog dedicated to people's fetishistic lust for completely non-human entities and/or desire to watch author avatars touch each other weird.
Regardless of these disturbing events, the horrors of commonplace ██████████ are not to be overlooked; studies show that 100 percent of the satellite fandom is involved in not only the [REDACTED], but also the culturally blasphemous SCP Containment Breach, a game that has caused death or severe psychological damage in 90 percent of SCP wiki members, who often desperately scream incomprehensible statements such as "there is no MTF Nine-Tailed-Fox!" and "Site 19 would not house 106 and 096 in the same containment wing!" upon onset of psychological hysteria/death/donning of an SCP-682 fursuit.
Demographic and Cultural Information
The staff of the SCP wiki are tasked with maintaining order on the site, which can range from simple, normal tasks such as forum moderation to complete overreaction and abuse of power, sometimes in the false name of some greater societal goal. An example of this occurring on the wiki's forums would play out as follows:
Normal user: The sky is blue
Staff member: STAFF POST - CLOSED
or, alternatively:
Normal user: The sky is blue
Staff member: This behavior is unacceptable. Please read over the forum guidelines and the Guide to Newbies again, or disciplinary action will be taken.
Another common trend on the SCP wiki is to pretend to be cold, calculating, and logical in a manner similar to the people of the wiki's fictional counterpart, but then proceed to drastically overreact to everything, such as in the example below:
Normal user: The sky is blue
Staff member: As a general rule, it's important to remember how what you're saying might be interpreted by your peers, even if you don't intend anything negative. I got a PM from a concerned user - they found your post extremely triggering. Please be more considerate when stating your opinion on the color of the sky in future cases.
An important aspect of both the fictional and factual versions of the SCP Foundation is the popular saying "The Foundation is cold, not cruel." This saying is often thrown around the staff site's forums when staff members want to assure themselves that ████████ someone "because they're ██████████" is perfectly acceptable; likewise, it is also thrown around office rooms and containment chambers in Sites when employees want to assure themselves that putting a human being in a █████ cell because they have magical powers is perfectly acceptable, and obviously for the greater good. Though this catchphrase is somewhat limited, its cultural following is not. When a user of the wiki becomes perplexed by the aforementioned ever-growing liberal bias within the staff regime, said user must remind themselves that partakers in a culture supporting and glorifying moral ambiguity, excessive regulation, and oligarchical leadership with little concern for personal freedom will invariably lean towards the political left.
In other words - The staff are a bunch of losers ████ing as the in-universe high committee of the evil organization that all the stories are about and have been doing it for so long it's actually gone to their heads. So now regular staff behaviour includes pathetic attempts at acting edgy and abusing power, which with their slow creep towards far left beliefs makes the site increasingly resemble a socialist dictatorship.
████ faggotry
As mentioned before, the SCP wiki has become a SJW hideout. You can find stuff like members being triggered by a doorknob being called sexy. Or some idioms like "intersex, ██████████, and nonbinary personnel are prohibited from working with, handling, or approaching SCP-847", in an article which was rewritten for being too sexist (just read its discussion page). They also managed to have an horribly cringy "tale" starring a transfag.
Thing is, it's not only about some shitty stories, it's also about censorship. Article guidelines now basically forbids bringing up ██████████, as it is triggering. Yes, on a fucking horror writing website, some shit gets ██████████ because it's triggering. Previous articles which mentioned rape were re-written, like SCP-847, or SCP-835, which was purged by its own author of any mention of ██████████, and even SCP-231, one of the most famous SCPs, in which a loli needs to be constantly raped otherwise it would be the end of the world.
Heritage Collection
There is a section on their wiki about a so-called "Heritage Collection"; it's supposed to contain the best articles of the old days, the stuff people should read and get inspiration from if they want to write some SCPs. In reality, it only contains 3 good stories that were lifted from ██████████ and the rest is uninspired shit with moronic self insert Mary Sues.
- SCP-055 [unknown]: Something no one can remember, both in universe and ███ █████ ████, probably because, just like every other high ranking article on the site, it's a forgettable, overused gimmick.
- SCP-076 Able: An animu-like ████ ███ with a big sword. Pure teenage power fantasy.
- SCP-087 The Stairwell: It's an underground dark stairwell with something inside that wants to eat you or something and is an obvious knockoff of House of Leaves. One of the only three good stories, all 3 of which were copied from x where the site originated. It's telling that it's two of these 3 stories that ended up being made into games (the third one can't be because it's about loli rape), while everything written by the actual site's army of troglodytes languishes in obscurity.
- SCP-093 Red Sea Object: A short, boring story about a rock that rolls over and rests on mirrors. It was later supplemented with an additional 6 or so articles that branch out into an expanded plot. A plot that is shit because the incompetent writers forgot about 90% of the original story's plot elements so half the chapters end up never making sense, and one contains an extended sequence written entirely in leetspeek.
- SCP-173 The Sculpture: The original 4chan story that spiralled out of control and became this turd of a website. Inspired an entire series of games and probably the Weeping Angels from Dr. Who. The rest of the site leeches off of this thing's popularity to this day, despite never writing anything anywhere near as good and not housing a userbase that would shit itself over being triggered if they ever visited 4chan's shrivelled husk.
- SCP-231 Special Personnel Requirements: The infamous loli rape story that they covered with so many ██████████ pretending to be an addition of artistic flair while in reality shielding the weepy cunts on the site from things they don't like. It has become unreadable if you don't already have prior knowledge of what it's about. In the tutorial section of the site, multiple hacks who can never hope to write anything as good as the untainted original now pretend this was all intentionally done to make the story more scary.
- SCP-239 The Witch Child: A reality bending ████ who is unstoppable. Obvious rip-off of the most famous episode of The Twilight Zone without any of the things that made it good.
- SCP-343 "God": It's about a friendly guy who lives in their facilities because he feels like it and may or may not (but obviously is because this site has no constant canon) be god. Not scary, not clever, not original.
- SCP-500 Panacea: Pills which cures everything. This article isn't scary and has no point.
- SCP-682 Hard-to-Destroy Reptile: A stupidly immortal lizard that talks like an ███████ villain and wants to kill all humans. Poses no threat because it can only kill them one by one and is easily contained even though they are constantly trying to kill it despite never doing it with any other SCP. Part of the never ending circle jerk of bad writers who used to write like a 13 year old's first DBZ ████████████ while involving one another's recolors in each other stories and still taint the site to this day because they were upvoted by every other prepubescent mongoloid. It's telling that their own parody of it is better than the original article.
- SCP-701 The Hanged King's Tragedy: Thank God they strictly forbid plagiarism in the rules, otherwise some SCPs might just be blatant ripoffs of other, infinitely more popular things. Like the King in Yellow, for example.
- SCP-882 A Machine: Another story that makes no sense about something that poses no threat and has been elevated to legend status by virtue of a decade of upvotes from people who have no standards to the point it was so highly rated even people who can tell its shit dare not speak out.
- SCP-914 The Clockworks: It takes things and makes them better. Except for the average SCP author's writing skill, because you can't polish a turd.
- SCP-953 polymorphic humanoid: weebshit foxgirl waifu, written by some weeb with a kitsune fetish, she has an addiction to human livers. Fortunately she killed 27 furries and ate there livers.
- SCP-963 Immortality: Mary Sue author-avatar in another not-scary story on a horror story wiki that probably only got upvoted because it's about an in-joke meme character and uses a picture that the author took of his autistic, home-made replica of the site's logo. Pathetic.
Groups of Interest
There are other groups in the same universe as the Foundation. Or rather, shitty excuses for groups. Most of them are boring as fuck, and nobody cares about them because of that.
- The Global Occult Coalition: Aka the DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY guys. Also the name of a spinoff site.
- Chaos Insurgency: Cartoony villains with no originality whatsoever.
- Church of Broken God: Scientology WITH GEARS; one of the few actually interesting groups.
- Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.: Jews who buy weird shit.
- The Serpent's Hand: Basically ██████, only more SJW.
- Are We Cool Yet?: Paranormal version of Improv Everywhere
- Sarkic Cult: Yet another Cthulhu cult ripoff; still one of the best groups of interest.
OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SCP FANFICTION BASED ON YOU █████ ROLE PLAYING ON THE IRC!!! WHY IS THIS █████ ON THE SITE?! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HORROR STORY WIKI!!!
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