Counter-Strike

Cunter-Strike is a Massively Multiplayer Online First Person Shooter mod for the hit online electronic computing internets machine game "Half-Life" made many years ago.

This is what every single *Cunter-Strike* player looks like. Including you.

An exciting game of *Cunter-Strike* in progress!

It is aimed at brainless 13 year old boys and lifeless nerds who think it's cool, not knowing it's a secret recruiting tool for the special forces. Though of course no one can actually get into them, and real tools who can't distinguish between gaming and IRL bad ideas join the army. (Please note, if you're playing this game, you are gay. There is no hope, other than learning how to play better.)

Of course, there are 80% of Germans who play this game. It's really easy to bring them to rage: micspam should be enough. You dont believe me? watch this

Note: Requirements include being a fag and looking like Brian Peppers.

Gameplay

Terrorists win

Using this causes drama

BOOM HEADSHOT!!!

In Cunter-Strike, you have the option of rolling between two factions, picking either the Terrorist and Cunter-Terrorist teams. The game map is a massive chat domain. On a side note, a player can choose a realm and start a PvP match. The objective of these mini-games is to annoy the players as much as possible while avoid getting shot. Several tactics to accomplish this include:

Assuming anyone that manages to kill you is using cheat codes ("hax").
AWP and watch the nerds rage.
Being sure that you do always take the bomb, but never EVER plant it.
Blatantly cheating by seeing through walls, auto-blow people's brains out, looking like a porn star model or anything remotely related to the game, then calling anyone who calls you on it a fag (see above).
Calling people black persons every two seconds.
Constantly moving infront of or blocking the movement of other players, best done by blocking their retreat from getting owned by the opposition.
Get everyone to agree before the match that the losers must perform seppuku to restore their honor.
Headshot (Be sure to piss yourself after accomplishing said Headshot))
Initiating vote_bans on the first name you see in a crowded server, which everyone always votes yes to.
Killing your teammates for the lulz. If friendly fire is off, try the Call of Duty 4 'nade/quick teamswitch on wounded groups of teammates. Requires perfect timing.
Making in-game "sprays" out of random images in your pr0n collection, preferably of a large penis or fag. Goatse also works well.
Playing for 16 hours a day for years at a time, then ridiculing n00bs for not having the reflexes of a cyborg.
Showing some actual skillz. This will so enrage the other players that it's likely you'll be kick/banned.
Telling 8 year olds that F10 provides free head-sex.
Use a flash-bang grenade to blind players just before they enter combat, making sure the other team is not blinded; using smoke grenades in front of awpers; HE-nading your teammates (a form of team-killing) if friendly fire is on. For quicker teamflashes, type in bind f "buy flashbang" in the command console before entering a game. This allows you to instantly buy flash grenades by simply pressing the f key instead of navigating the weapon menu. You can change the binding key as well as grenade type by altering this code.

Bonus points are awarded if you have access to a headset, since then you can annoy the fuck out of everyone with your prepubescent nasal whining. Also, you can simply hold down the talk button and play incredibly annoying music over the channel, or hold an electric razor to it. An even more effective way is to use the Half-Life Sound Selector (HLSS in short), a program that allows you to play annoying sound/music files from your collection over the mic with a touch of a button, without the need for a stereo-equipped iPod or even a headset. For even moar damage, type setinfo name "" (with two quotation marks, not four apostrophes) in the command console before entering a server. This changes your username to "unconnected", which prevents you from being shown in the other players' mute menus. The first person to find something else to do rather than playing Cunter-Strike, wins.

A clan is a group of fags who get together to engage in annoying the crap out of every Cunter-Strike player possible, and only those elite members are any good at generating lulz. A good example of such fucktards are the members of -POS-, a hidden clan that employs a deadly combination of faggotry and win.

You may experience special people that yell and blab into the microphone during the game.

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Teams

The game has three teams: Terrorists, Cunter-Terrorists and Spectators. The Terrorists are the good guys, Cunter-Terrorists are the bad guys, and spectators are sad losers who are not only wasting their lives on the most boring game in existence, but aren't even PLAYING the damn game.

Terrorist Characters:

Typical elite cunter-terrorist fatass

Cunter-Terrorist Characters:

Spectator Characters:

The UN
The US military
Monkeys Buddha

There's also a long list of secret characters that can be unlocked by collecting the Magic Rainbow Gems in a specific order (hint: Look under the mushrooms in the Twinkle Kingdom, level 3).

Sequels

Cunter-Strike: Condition Zero - CS 1.6 with better textures and models + bots (which were ripped from the game prior to the release, and were freely available for CS 1.6). Has a spin-off singleplayer campaign called the "Deleted Scenes" which was so horrible that everybody denied its existence. This sequel could have been a fucking free DLC, that's how much it sucks. In the end everybody and their mom just waited for CS:Source to come out.

Cunter-Strike: Online (Azn Version) - Same as Condition Zero, but visually more like Cunter Strike 1.6 to make it suck less. Has some weird new guns and stupid F2P additions. Have I mentioned the built in Drophack?

Cunter-Strike: Sauce - The sequel that came with Half-Life 2. Mostly known for its broken hitboxes. Valve later on updated it to the bug-ridden Orange Box engine (Team Fortress 2), which pretty much made the Steam forums into a warzone for quite some time. Many nerds ragequitted.

Cunter-Strike: Arcade or some shit - There is supposed to be some sci-fi Counter-Strike edition for the arcades in Japan.

Cunter-Strike: Global Offensive - Best game evar. It's being made by some dudes that created a tower defense game. It has a automatch function, and that's probably the only "revolution" CS ever went through. Consolefags can play it too.

Weapons

There is only one weapon available in Cunter-Strike - the AWM / AWP, also known as the "fag gun", or "n00b gun" (see "Objectives"). Not even the BFG9000 has generated as much lulz in FPS deathmatch history. This makes it the obvious weapon of choice when playing Cunter-Strike. See below for moar details on it.

LOL AWP

Handguns

USP .45 Tactical - The starting pistol for the CTs. More powerful than the Glock, but acts like a jackhammer with the shitty recoil.

Glock 18 - The starting pistols for the Terrorists. Does shit damage, even in burst-fire, but has more ammo and better accuracy. Was completely useless before patch 1.6.

Desert Eagle - The only pistol anyone EVER uses after the first round. A overhyped jewish pseudo mini-AWP that nobody actually uses in any conflict IRL.

SIG P228 - You pay 50 bucks less than the deagle to get a upgraded USP with one more shot. Woop-de-fucking-doo.
Beretta 96G Dual Elites - Raise your hand slightly above the mouse and then click like a total spaz to unleash a shitload of bullets in a fraction of a second... all while pressing forward the whole time! If you're successful, you'll be called a speedhacker and banned.

Five-seveN - Spend even more dosh than for a Deagle and you get a upgraded Glock with no burst-fire and without any remarkable features except accuracy. King of all pea-shooters.

Shotguns

Benelli M3 - Completely useless in 1.6 and borderline broken in CS:Source.

M1014 - Totally fucking useless. In every incarnation of Cunter-Strike. Not even joking.

Sub-Machine Guns

MP5N - The only smg anyone ever uses. You buy this thing when you have no moniez for any rifles or you're too unskilled to use a Deagle 24/7.

Steyr TMP - A submachine-gun with a unremoveable suppressor. Good luck killing ANYTHING with this thing. For some reason this piss-weak abomination had some kind of cult-following in the early 2000s.

P90 - Has annoying recoil and weird damage output and is borderline useless in 1.6. Ironically it's a rape-machine in CS:Source.

MAC-10 - Completely uncontrolable gangsta-gun that sometimes does a headshot if you're lucky, but otherwise is overpriced garbage.

UMP45 - Slow firing, headshotting smg that pierces through armor better than the MP5. Too bad though, that the headshots it inflicts are so weak that the other guy just blows your head off with his AK47.

Assault Rifles

Galil - Do you want a really ugly gun that has the worst recoil pattern ever? Here you go.

FAMAS - Nobody ever buys this thing unless they acidentally hit the Auto-Buy key and don't have enough money for a M4.

AK-47 - The only rifle any Terrorist ever uses. No exceptions.

SG 552 - Eventhough this thing is clearly better for long ranges with its built in zoom, nobody uses it.

M4A1 - The only rifle any Cunter-Terrorist ever uses. No exceptions.

Steyr AUG - See SG 552

Sniper Rifles

Steyr Scout - Some kind of training rifle before you get to use the AWP. That or the shitty admins banned the other 3 sniper rifles and you're stuck with this piece of shit.

Arctic Warfare Magnum - There is a extra section for that, dumbass. Scroll down!

G3SG/1 - Didn't hit ANYTHING before they patched it. Now it's the most overpowered gun in the game. Yes, not even the AWP comes close to how ridicolous this thing is. Tourneyfags still rather use the AWP to show off their skillz.

SG 550 Sniper - Same thing as the G3SG/1, except does less damage.

Machine Guns

M249 Para - Shooting through walls while never running out of ammo can be such fun ... one must be a millionaire to afford this thing, though.

Grenades

High Explosive Grenade - Feels like throwing a giant rock in 1.6 and pretty much nuke everything in CS:Source.

Flashbang - Throw it at teammates, because then you can be atleast sure that they work correctly for once.

Smoke Grenade - See flashbang.

Other Shit

Knife - Only use the secondary fire if want to actually kill anything with this thing. Switch to your gun during a knife fight for extra lulz.

Kevlar - Bullet proof, for the most part. Helps against grenade spam, and that's about it.

Night Vision Goggles - Turning up brightness makes these useless. They were made for ONE EXTREMELY DARK map in the beta, which got canned shortly after. They are therefor a derelict leftover that should have never made it into the game and its sequels.

Riot Shield - The best "weapon" that was ever made for the game. It is the holy grail of trolling. It (for example) allows you to camp in a corner with a AWP while two friends guard your sides with the shield ... It even gave you a higher survivability against aimbots. IT MADE CS_ASSAULT WINABLE FOR THE CTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Was removed again in CSS because neckbeards couldn't take this extra pressure on their pimples :'( ...

The AWP

Cunter-Strike player camping above the door

FUCKING AWP

CunterStrike Rage

“	OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING FAGGOT STOP AWPING WE'LL BOOT YOU FAGGOT ASS FAG!!!!! I CAN'T HANDLE MY ANDROID-LIKE REFLEXES AND ABILITY TO HEADSHOT YOU FROM 300 FEET WITH A PISTOL BEING DEMOLISHED BY THE ONLY WEAPON THAT ANYONE ELSE IS ABLE TO GET ANY KILLS ON ME WITH!!!! I'M A FUCKING PERFECT VIRTUAL SOLDIER SO STOP HAVING ANY SORT OF ADVANTAGE OVER ME YOU FAGGY FAGGOT!!!!111111	„
—Moar CS fail

The AWP is the most lulzy weapon in the game. Killing people with an AWP can make you a "AWP Whore", which is the source of faggotry. Accomplishing headshot with said AWP, will create a barrage of barrel rolls and said faggotry. If someone kills you while holding this weapon they are using hax, or cheatz.

The signs of an AWP user include:

Faggot screaming in mic.
Having an un-natural nature towards Columbine.
Hearing a big ass shot from a gun.
Once entering server, hearing the words "fucking hacker."
Seeing the headshot icon on the upper right corner of the screen.
User screaming "BOOM HEADSHOT," and "I OOOWWWWNN."

Common reactions include:

	“	FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!	„

	“	Fucking AWP Whores	„

	“	Please stop using that weapon, its so fuckin' overpowered, stop please. (5 Seconds later) "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!	„

	“	STUPID FUCKING FAGGOT STOP IT	„

	“	Why is the fucking AWP not RESETRICTED, like it should be.	„

	“	YO NIGGA IS DAT A BAZOOKA?	„

Previous Quote | Next Quote

The amount of butthurt this weapon can potentially cause is epic, so it should be sought at every opportunity, then abused. The real mystery is why Cunter Strike is the only FPS game where anybody bitches when others use a 1-hit-kill weapon. Combat Arms has an awp of its own that's basically the same one as in Cunter Strike, yet nobody complains when you use it. The reason: Everyone who plays Cunter Strike is a whiny 13 year old boy with no social skills (and probably assburgers as well).

Nothing is safe from the AWP. In Cunter-Strike: Condition Zero, you blow up a FUCKING HARRIER JET-FIGHTER (!) with an AWP. The AWP is srs fucking bizness!

New Weapons in Global Offensive

Black Bloc hipster OWS faggots are the new terrorists in Global Offensive.

P2000 - CTs got a replacement gun for the USP. It's the most generic pistol of all time. It feels like nobody put any effort into the "shooting feel" of this thing.

P250 - Same thing as the P228. Nobody will ever use it.

Tec9 - Ever felt like doing a nigga-drive-by with this gun? Well too bad. For some reason these "elite" terrorist groups can't figure out how to modify this gun to shoot full-auto. So you're stuck with a single-shot pistol that is actually really strong but feels awkward to fire. Has a huge magazine though. (Pretty much like any gun in CS:GO)

Nova - Replacement for the old shotgun. The ugly Left4Dead2 model-style and feel of this thing kills any fun in using it.

Sawed-Off - More fun to use than the Nova. Doesn't spread like a "sawed-off", though. It's no Doom2- or old western-style sawed-off double barrel shotgun, so WHAT'S THE POINT?

MAG7 - Holy mother of god, this shotgun is pretty much death incarnate. It also uses mags instead of single shells.

MP7 - Remember that horrible MP7 from Half-Life 2? Pretty much the same thing with a different look.

PP-Bizon - A mini-machinegun with a huge mag, disguised as a smg. Does no damage, absolutely no damage.

SSG 08 - A Steyr Scout replacement. Pretty much the same thing as the old one. Everyone will call it the "Scout" in the end anyway because of this bland name.

SG 553 / SCAR-20 - Same shit as the old auto sniper-rifles. Are you even trying Valve?

Negev - A new machinegun. Took them only about 12 years. Looks like as if it was made out of three Minecraft blocks. Like any MG in CS, NOBODY EVER USES IT. Also it has a shitload of recoil and misses a lot.

Zeus x27 - A one-hit-kill taser that is only available in casual mode.

Molotov Cocktails / Incendiary Grenades - Tourneyfags hate these things so much, they want them banned. They pretty much block all rushing spots on the map.

Decoy Grenade - A new definition of useless.

Maps

While it is true that Cunter-Strike's mapping scene brought out some amazing maps over the years, you will most likely have never played them, as all servers that provide ANYTHING ELSE than DUST2 24/7 are empty, desolate wastelands, mostly filled with idle bots.

cs_assault - Eventhough Valve tried to fix this map several thousand times, most games on it end like this: Ts camp inside the warehouse, CTs get shot. A camper's wet dream.

cs_siege - The map which was infamous for having an APC for the CTs in 1.0, which was mainly used for driving over teammates and lots of griefing. When the vehicle was removed after just one patch, the map was only remembered for doing a loooooooooooooong walk to the enemy base, while getting shot by snipers. The mapper also became an hero, I guess it really sucked that much.

cs_estate - A house with a huge-ass sewers connection. Lots of camping, as there is almost no space to move anywhere, without getting shot in seconds.

cs_militia - Once a really good map with lots of replayability, it was both raped visually and in terms of fun in CSS. You basically can't see shit in the CSS version because everything is green and overdetailed now. Plus they nerfed the sewers.

cs_office - The map which made camping in a long hallway cooler than ever before. Watch as hundreds of CTs run helplessly into your automatic sniper rifle before they are even capable of throwing the first flashbang.

cs_backalley - One of those maps that nobody ever wants to play anymore after Dust2 came out. Has obnoxious doors and windows that cause many deaths.

cs_compound - The worst official map of CSS and probably the worst CS map of all time. Its ugliness and unplayability is unmatched. Nothing comes close to how bad this map is. Valve really put a lot of effort into this, with all those car wrecks lying around.

cs_italy - The map with the exploding radio. Offers a lot of AWP camping and lots of sneaking and backstabbing, ... good map.

cs_havana - This map consists out of Ts shooting from balconies and windows and CTs getting lucky once in a while by winning the round by accident.

cs_747 - Gee, I wonder why this map was never remade? Since this map came out before the CTs even had a shield, all the Ts had to do back then was to shoot through the curtain doors of the plane whenever they heard any footsteps. Today nobody will ever play this map again.

cs_mansion (removed) - Same shit as cs_estate, except it looked and played even worse. There are of course other old removed maps, but this one was the most played out of all the removed ones.

de_dust - In the early 2000s, this map was played the most, as it allowed a LOT of AWP camping. Then the e-Sports craze came along and ...

de_dust2 - ... this map was discovered. The never-ending cancer of Cunter-Strike. The most overplayed, overrated and soulless map of all time. It is so overplayed, that most players know exactly where to aim their crosshair to shoot you in the head as soon as you appear anywhere, that or the guy aimbots. This map is the main reason why normal servers with a set of changing maps (like hostage rescue or VIP mode) died out for the most part.

de_nuke - Probably the number one competitive map. Nerfed hard in CS:GO by removing lower sections, thus removing fun.

de_aztec - This map is mostly known for three things: Getting shot at the double doors, getting shot at the bridge or getting shot across the map from nowhere. It's all about luck.

de_port - Close to compound in horrible map design choices. This map looks like a rejected Half-Life 2 beach area. Nobody plays it for good reasons. Great job once again, Valve.

de_prodigy - Tight hallways and lots of shooting through holes in a wall and crates. Sometimes you can crawl through the ventilation shaft. There really isn't that much to say to this map.

de_cbble - A pain in the ass last man standing map. The size of the map allows for lots of sniping and running around endlessly.

de_train - Shooting feet under the trains, 24/7 and getting sniped at the worst possible view angle. Probably the most unforgiving map ever made.

de_chateau - Save up all your money, get a machine gun and grenades and hopefully mow everything down that pops up. That is if you're a CT of course.

de_vegas - Unforgetable casino map ... that is if you actually ever got to play it before CS 1.6 came around. Dustfaggotry killed it. It's dead, Jim.

de_piranesi - Shooting people from ridicolous spots over and over again. That sums it up. It's also just Turtle Rock studios showing off again.

de_inferno - Once a good map with red brick buildings with a simple layout, Valve had to ruin it by adding lots, and I mean LOTS of eye candy.

de_vertigo - Only famous for the hilarious falling down sound. Got a remake in CS:GO.

de_survivor - The greatest map that nobody ever plays anymore. A piece of art that is lost in the dust.

de_storm - The dark and edgy attempt at doing a huge-ass copy of de_dust.

de_torn - A wartorn city with lots of cool details ... except that the main area of the map really fucking sucks and at the same time is the place where everyone gets a random headhot in the first few seconds. When the first skirmish is over, it's all about camping in a dark corner next to the bomb spot. Well nowadays nobody plays it anymore, anyway.

de_tides - Turtle Rock studios made this abomination. It was basically made for showing off texture-work. The map itself is neither fun to play nor very imaginative.

de_jeepathon2k - Driving over people with cars. Fun!

as_oilrig - The VIP mode, the mode that nobody ever plays, for two reasons: This dark, confusing map with lots of death traps and giving the VIP only a shitty USP with 24 ammo and no way of picking up any guns. This really encouraged the player to stay alive.

Tactics

EITHER:

Stand motionless in one spot and shoot people as they spawn ("Camping")

OR:

Strafe aimlessly around in circles

OR:

Walk directly into the enemy base while holding down the fire button.

OR:

you can kill all players on the server by dividing by zero, OH SHI--

OR:

spray a porn spray and kill everyone looking at it (including your teammates)

Anything else will be considered cheating. OR:

As a cunter-terrorist kill all the hostages and then jump from a high building. This works great if someone from your team is bringing the hostages back to the spawn. This also works as a terrorist, because the Cunter-Terrorists can't rescue them.

OR:

Go full auto, just like in CoD:MW2.

OR:

Hire some Azns.

Competitive Cunter-Strike

Kekekekekekeke

Competitive CS is a very admirable profession with several deep, profound layers to it. These layers and leagues are outlined below.

Cyberathelete Professional League: Only pro gamers can be found here. This is the best of the best, they know everything. For the most part, you will never run into these people, and if you do, you probably won't get the chance talk to them since getting paid to play a video game is a very serious business.
Cyberathelete Amateur League: Every thirteen year old boy, newfag, oldfag, and tryhard can be found here. The league has four divisions:
1. CAL Open- This is where every starting, wanna-be professional game starts off. Anyone can join this, including the people who play in the better leagues, making your statistics of winning about 1%. The highest ratio of whining little kids is found here, at an estimated 900%.
2. CAL Intermediate- Upon magically making it through CAL Open, you will stumble into Intermediate. Absolutely no difficulty change can be found here, other than a higher percentage of people arguing about who the best in CAL IM.
3. CAL Main- Making it this far is enough to make even the most serious player abandon all hope for an IRL life and pursue a career in gaming. At this point, the only friends you have are on your Ventrilo server, which you made your mom take a second job to pay for. You are now a loyal sponsor-ee to server companies and make the pay of an honest businessman.
4. CAL Invite- Nobody is allowed here. Only the best people are allowed in here, and it requires a fucking invitation to get in. The last CAL-I invitation was sent out sometime in 2005, but everyone quickly realized Cunter-Strike is the same fucking thing over and over again. People that get to this point quickly move on to Portal or Half-Life.

1. Always Blame the other players on your team- Arguably the most important part of being a true pro cs player, is the belief that you can do no wrong.

2. Raid Public Servers and Talk Shit- It doesn't matter how little experience the other players have, you MUST talk shit to random people on the internet. Several qualified experts have ruled that this egotistical behavior is a result of internet anonymity, while less-qualified but more likely correct experts have settled for the standard "they were molested by their parents" explanation.

3. The Other Team is always hacking- If your team loses at all, the obvious reason is that your opposition is hacking. Rage quit the server and find another scrim. Repeat this process until your clan dies.

4. Check Their Steam ID- This is a surefire way to prove that someone is hacking. Check their Steam ID by going into console and typing in status, then running their Steam ID on somewhere official, like LegitProof to find out what leagues they have played in. If their Steam ID is a low number, like 0:000:0022, and they have never played anything competitive, it is perfectly acceptable to accuse the other person and claim they bought their account, same for high numbers.

5. Leagues Mean Everything- Easily finding ways to rid yourself of the shame of losing (which you should be used to by now) have degraded into simply asking what leagues they have been before playing. If they are in a league higher than you, then you lose. If not, you're better of just quitting.

Social Benefits

As mentioned earlier, Cunter-Strike is a covert government recruiting tool. One day, in the not-too-distant future, hordes of heavily-armed whiny 7-year old CS players will be air-dropped onto enemy positions, their random bursts of gunfire and cries of "camping fag" distracting the enemy long enough for the entire area to be bombed down to the bedrock. If any CS troops manage to survive, they will be set on fire and launched at the enemy via catapult.

How to tourneyfag in CS

In every game there must be a handful of these elite individuals who will make the game fair and balanced by banning the use of OP equipment. Since tourneyfaggatory is a dying art, you must continue the legacy and here is the basics on how to be a tourneyfag in Cunter-Strike:

General conduct

Remember that you are the elite of the elite and it is impossible for any noob to kill you. So if one does manage to kill you, be sure to brand them as a hacker and threaten them to leave the server or else you'll go to their house and rape their entire family. If the plan fails, resort to excessive cursing.

Always have an admin as a friend so those faggots will know to obey you. Failing that either make them think that you have an admin friend and show them how much of a socialite you are of befriending a man of such power. Failing that just keep cursing them and call them a haxxor.

When your team wins, make sure to take all the credit and even if you have the lowest ass score in the match and accuse your other teammates of being kill-stealers should you ever have said lowest score. If you can't humble them just keep cursing them and accuse them of being noob faggots.

If your team should ever loose be sure to shift ever last one of the blame to your teammates since they are noobs and all. This applies even if you were practically camped by that AWP fag all match long and didn't do shit by having 0 kills and the most deaths. If the noobs will not listen to reason, keep cursing and degrading them.

If you are only 10 years old and your voice still sounds like a little girl, get voice altering software as noone in the internets will take you seriously. Failing that, just bind: "say Fight harder you scrubs I'm doing all the work" to a key of your preference.

Hosting a match

No grenades, No other weapons except pistols and with that be sure to also ban the Desert eagle since it gives an unfair advantage.

If you are looking for a better challenge, allow other weapons but ban the ff: The automatic shotgun, DE, AWP, MP5, P90, AK47, M4 and any other weapon that manages to kill you.

Should one stray from said rules, call him a scrub.

Always play in either: de_dust, cs_deathmatch or if you are that merciful cs_assault. Using any other map will cause you to be a scubbish noob.

Make it clear that the planting of the bomb or rescuing of the hostages are done only by scrubs and noobs. If one should ever do the objectives: call them names and threaten them.

No self-respecting tourneyfag will be playing without his holy hax! Be sure to always have these running when playing and be ironic by calling other players who managed to kill you while your hax are on haxxors.

Social behavior

Whether in-game or in forums be sure to flaunt your e-penis by being boisterous about your rank on servers. Be sure to also invade welcoming sections in forums and belittle the newbies.

If you meet someone with an even bigger e-penis, be defensive about everything he throws at you and keep defending that you are better than him even if you are 5 ranks below him.

If someone better than you isn't a fellow tourneyfag, be sure to belittle and humiliate him by mocking him with a litany of insults. If he should ever be perfectly logical about anything, stone-wall him I mean what does he know, he's just a scrub.

Noobs never make any sense no matter how well-thought out and logical their responses are. Keep calling them retarded or noob.

There you go, now you know how to be God in this game.

Online Offshoots

Because Counter-stike became such a retarded yet popular hit, many game companies decided to jump into the FPS bandwagon and create their own clones of the game, which normally turns out to be a slightly-better-but-not-really-that-better version of the game. Popular games include:

Crossfire
Crossfire Online is THE closest clone of Counter-strike you have, it's based around 1.6 and Condition Zero, but it's F2P and has more weeaboo as it's created by a bunch of Koreans. Same graphics (which is shit) and same game play. The only difference is that you pay for premium content in a free to play game, which really doesn't do crap.
The thing that separates this game from being a total CS clone, apart from the weeaboo in-game items and additional weapons, is that these have female characters, so now it doubles as a Faps Person Shooter.
Soldier Front/Special Force
While not a total rip-off, Soldier Front is by far, THE most popular FPS based on CS as well as achieving the same notoriety. Soldier Front is basically a combination of CS Beta and Quake II, with more retardation. All Soldier Front versions today, is infested with Hackers, so noone really gives a shit about it anymore, except for Koreans and Filipinos
Special Force
Proving more that Filipinos are illiterate, they renamed Soldier Front to "Special Force", unable to realize that the word Special Force is grammatically incorrect, but again it's for "Special" children, nobody in their community noticed. While this would normally be of no interest, Special Force is THE most popular online FPS in the Philippines and contains the same community as that of Counter Strike: 13 year old illiterate hicks screaming at the top of their lungs how pro they are and such.
Update Causes Lulz
On June 23, 2010, a massive update for Counter Strike: Source, which was in Beta for many weeks if not months, caused much butthurt and later lulz, in the community. These lulz could be most witnessed in the CS:S group chat of Steam. The update included only minor things like HDR, Achievements, a kill cam, and an improved scoreboard.

Trolling Opportunities

Find a server from a muslim country
Be the guy with most kills in your team (optional)
Play until admin goes offline
Change your Nickname to FUCK ALLAH
Play until getting banned, under death threats for hours.

If you are enough of a fag to play Cunter-Strike: Source, spray this on any Christian server for epic Lulz!

Counter-Strike

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