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Portal:Politics/Featured Article/Archive
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July 2022
Hunter Biden is Joe Biden's crack-addicted douchebag son. Recently the sordid contents of Hunter's personal laptop were leaked to the media, specifically New York Post at first; Thus revealing a treason trove of emails that allege "The Big Guy" was using Hunter as an unauthorized diplomat/in-between-shill for pay-for-play/quid-pro-quo activities during Joe's tenure as Barack Obummer's side-bitch/VP. Also on the laptop were hundreds of pictures of CP, including pictures of Hunter with his dead brother's daughter.
Last Thursday (i.e July 2022), the hacker known as 4chan managed to hack into Hunter's iCloud account and leak more of his n00dz. It seems even after The Fappening taught people that they should never upload their nudes to iCloud; people are still uploading their nudes there, thinking that nobody would ever get access to them.
March 2022
While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict drags on with thousands being shot, maimed, burnt and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the estrogenic soyboys in the west are in the comfort of their homes rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil Nazi dictator Hitler Putin and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a young adults novel, the trannies of reddit launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? Who in the hecking world can resist?! For those that aren't brave enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical slacktivist routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of Harry Potter, Spider-Man, Pikachu, Gandalf and Marvel Avengers.
Thanks Ukraine - you can keep them, we don't want them back.
October 2020
The 2020 American Presidential Election is the latest clownshow in the cycle of American politics. While Encyclopedia Dramatica used to have an article on this drama-filled presidential race, it got lost in the turnover from our old site (.se/.rs) and thusly this article has to be created from scratch.
After going through four years of businessman and internet troll Donald Trump as USA President, the American populace has been given a choice. President Donald Trump's tenure has seen an excessive amount of REEEE'ing and BAWWWing from the left-wing politicians and SJWs in America. ISIS has "been eliminated", but BLM and Antifa have taken to LARPing in the streets and massively chimping out about fake police brutality.
In the meantime, the fake news media, or Lugenpresse in some dialects, has massively colluded with commies and "The Resistance" to push their propaganda and try to oust USA Troll-In-Chief The Donald. The "outrage" resulted in a massive amount of Prez-wannabes in the 2020 Democratic candidate field, but only dementia awareness advocate and successful "Master of The Grope" Joe Biden came out on top as the Dems' "Chosen One". With a choice between law and order, or an authoritarianism based on "muh feelings", science denial and massive censorship, the American people are at a crossroads. Who will win?...
April 2020
Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., a.k.a. Joe the Sniffer, #JoeMentia, or Creepy Uncle Joe, is an old condom that somehow was once the side bitch and token segregationist of magical black man and former libtard deity B. Hussein Obama. He is known for his constant gaffes, dementia, and pedophiliac behavior around children. Joe won the Democrat 2020 Presidential Candidate nomination last Thursday when the DNC didn't want to eat out of Colonel Sanders's socialist KFC-bag offered by the SJW faggots. As the Democrats' more conservative choice, Biden promises to cure cancer, AIDS and climate change while raising taxes in order to give out free drugs and tuition to foreign invaders.
June 2017
Bernie Sanders✡ (or B.S.) is a batshit insane Communist Jew and American politician who represents the 9,615-square mile patch of progressive inanity that is Vermont. Sanders is the product of a Communist experiment to develop a socialist clone of Larry David whose goal is to break up banks and corporations. After having served nearly a quarter of a century in federal office, a demented Sanders developed delusions of grandeur, and announced a 2016 presidential candidacy, apparently believing America was ready to elect a senile socialist septuagenarian to the White House.
May 2017
Seth Rich (Powerword: Seth Conrad Rich) is a currently dead Jew who was murdered after being the leaker who leaked 
#DNCLeaks to WikiLeaks. The patriot whistleblower was double tapped in Washington, D.C. at the ripe old age of 27 years old on July 10, 2016.
For anyone who says DNC emails were hacked by Russians, you can inform them that Seth Rich was a Jew and a Democrat and worked for the organization that plotted to nominate Hillary Clinton. The feet-dragging geniuses at the DC police department figured Rich died in a robbery, even though Rich's Jew Gold was left behind. Rich was found very much alive 3 minutes after being shot twice in the back, before becoming very much dead about 90 minutes later at a hospital. At least 3 officers were wearing bodycams, including one who went to Georgetown when John Podesta taught there in some kind of crazy coincidence.
Protip: There is a reward of at least $150,000 for information regarding the murder of Seth Rich, with a total of zero dollars offered by Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Robby Mook, John Podesta, and Tony Podesta who lives two houses down from Black Jesus.
Hillary has dedicated the rest of her life to finding the "real killer" of The Red White and Blue Jew. Seth Rich is all Hillary ever talks about.
April 2017
June La Porta/June Lapine is like a 33 year old boxxy wannabe with even less common sense, a bigger ego and a free-for-all pussy, who occasionally makes uninteresting videos with some of the worst editing you have ever seen. An attention whore of the highest caliber, everything she does is done to pander to the beta virgin anti-feminist crowd. Naming herself after an old meme, copying boxxy's look, her clickbait video titles and thumbnails, parading her tiny tits around, and her edgy anti-feminist opinions were all calculated acts done in order to net her the highest possible amount of Youtube jewgold. The saddest part is that it totally worked, as she now has over 400k subs.
April 2017
Syria, officially the Syrian Arab Republic, was a terrorist training camp in the Middle East. It used to be the bastard whore-child of Iran, and the two countries repeatedly join forces for Muslim world domination before President Al. Assad (not to be confused with Al. Pacino) realizes that he is too nice to them. As of November 2012, Syria is officially no longer Iran's sole outlet to the sea.
Syria gained independence in April 1946. Syria's current ruler is Bashar al-Assad, the son of Hafez al-Assad. Although Syria is a "Republic", the Syrian president has full control over all the laws, the media, & practices hardcore forced propaganda.
March 2017
JonTron (Powerword: Jon Jafari) is a fat, ugly and unfunny JewTube gamer that makes shitty review videos once every blue moon. He has somehow amassed over two millions retards to subscribe, in order to see him do his best Family Guy imitation skits interspersed with a lot of loud screaming and endless jump cuts in between. The only reason he is famous that makes him stand out of the four trillion other YouTube reviewers is because he was in Game Grumps and for some reaction gifs posted over and over on /v/. He also somehow thinks that stealing video content from one of our own users is somehow a smart idea.
March 2017
The inauguration of Donald Trump sparked massive protests and riots across D.C. and the world. Leftists, already mentally unstable and savage, went completely apeshit in the weeks following Trump's victory. A D-list celebrity named 
Shia LaBeouf ✡ (Known for doing a porno flick and two Transformers movies before they realized how terrible he was and dumped him, but kept Megan Fox) decided to create an "art piece" by setting up a 24/7 livestream in New York City, which was intended to exist for the entirety of the Trump presidency, which could have been anywhere from one to eight years. Formerly located at the Museum of the Moving Image in the liberal shithole known as New York City, locals were invited by Shia to come and stand in front of the camera and chant "He Will Not Divide Us". The result was a sea of brain-dead morons repeatedly screeching at a wall, along with much attention-whoring.
February 2017
His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus I of the House of Trump will make Warhammer 40,000 real. He is a pretty cool guy and is the 45th president of the United States and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Donald is around cause He'll rape you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for libel, and pillage your clan of its cattle and fertile women. President Donald Trump is a fucking genius. One fact that proves just how much of a genius The Donald is, He has personally gone bankrupt four fucking times and pissed away billions of dollars and yet people still get in line to give His asshole their money. Similarly He's ran a successful campaign by saying things that would automatically disqualify any other contestant and yet people still got in line to vote for Him, get a glimpse of Him, or get a (pro-bono) part as a planted actor-protester during His fun rallies. And he literally put an epic Just As Planned: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Now Trump is on the Iron Throne, gloating U mad SJWs? while Democrats are committing mass suicide while yelling "You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!"