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Mac Miller

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This page contains an hero.
Mac Miller
Given Name(s) Malcolm James McCormick
EZ Mac
Larry Lovestein
State Of Being An hero
Nationality Americunt  
Genus Wigger
Born January 19, 1992
Died September 7, 2018
Classification Alcoholic
Rapper / Singer
Producer / Copyright infringer
Years active 2007–2018


Mac Miller was an hero Americunt wigger rappist and former Purple Drank™ aficionado found dead in his apartment while visiting a local pharmaceutical distributor and find out if he was hardcore. It is widely debated on whether his death was caused by Ariana Grande leaving his junkie ass for some unfunny comedian just for having a bigger dick than him or if it was because he couldn't help himself with all those sweet, sweet, drugs he took as a coping mechanism.


   
 
A drug habit like Philip Hoffman will probably put me in a coffin
 

 
 

— Mac accurately predicting his future 4 years before he croaked.

   
 
To everyone who sell me drugs, don't mix it with that bullshit, I'm hopin' not to join the 27 Club
 

 
 

— Well, Mac, you were 4 months early in terms of that

Relationshits

Mac was in only 2 known relationships during his time in our world. Nomi Leasure and Ariana Grande.

Mac met Nomi Leasure in middle school, when everyone (except for some people) was developing desires to date someone they found themselves to love more than they love their actual family members. However, the two were patient, and waited until high school to start dating each other.

What a nice boyfriend! He even got her flowers.


Have a big bowl of Mac N' Nomi! About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Everything was going well until Ariana Grande showed up. After getting splitting from Ricky Alvarez, Ariana decided to cast a spell to make Mac fall in steamy love with her because she thought she was way better at sex than Nomi. Heck, Ariana started wearing a shitload of fake tan for her then pasty skin because Mac specialized in the same type of music that those chocolate coated people are oh so passionate about. Unfortunately, their love did not last as long (nor went as strong) as when Mac was with Nomi. And not even two years later, Whoriana decided to leave Mac, thinking she'd have fun with an unfunny comedian solely because the comedian had a bigger dick and Mac's drug addiction went beyond his control from there.

Meanwhile, Nomi was still writing personal blogs about Mac even after Ariana ditched him and after he succumbed to those sweet, sweet drugs he couldn't help himself with.
   
 
Thing is, writing is a tool for processing and healing. When we write about something we are forced to look at it from all angles. We sit with it, we explore it, we taste it, touch it, smell it all over again. And when there’s something that was complicated and even unhealthy in our lives, it begs continual processing. Consider the fact that most people can talk about their childhood and parents ad nauseam. There’s a lot there because, well, there’s a lot there. We need to talk about and explore the things that don’t have easy answers. Writing is one way to do that.
 

 
 

— Nomi on why she kept writing about Mac despite Ariana Puta Grande casting a lustful spell on him

His departure from Earth

Who could the finger possibly be for? The whore who left him for a bigger dick? Or the owner of the bigger dick himself?

The overdose

Tragedy struck when no one saw it coming on September 7, 2018. Miller was scheduled to shoot a music video that day, but instead, he was found unresponsive. His personal assistant sprang into action, trying to revive him by performing CPR like he was filming some boring sex scene. Sadly, the paramedics arrived too late, finding Miller already well past the rigor mortis phase. Definitely not the kind of music video shoot anyone would have in mind (well, the literal last girl he dated probably did, since she said she'd love to have a dinner date with Jeffrey fucking Dahmer)!

The Aftermath

Two months later, the Los Angeles County Coroner's office said that Miller's death resulted from an accidental drug overdose caused by a combination of fentanyl, cocaine, and alcohol. Hold up! Accidental!? Did the office even SEE what poor Mac went through during the last 4 months of his life? No way in hell was that accidental! The Coroner's office must have been so scared with the thought those jailbait whores, pedophiles who like women with tits as small as pudding cups, and grown ass men who are professionals at butt sex putting them out of business for Mac taking too many drugs at a time for the sake of happiness after breaking up with a certain woman they simp for as much as Mac was simping for Nomi, that they labeled his death as an accident.

One whole year later, three crackheads found themselves in hot water during the investigation into Mac's untimely demise. The first man, Cameron James Pettit was accused of selling counterfeit oxycodone pills that were coated with fentanyl two days before Mac put himself in a state of permanent slumber, delivered from the second suspect, Ryan Reavis, with the third man, Stephen Walter, as the supplier. Mac had asked his drug buddy, Cameron, for Percocet, a prescription painkiller containing that sweet oxycodone he was desperately craving, along with a side of cocaine and Xanax. Investigators suspect that Miller snorted the dubious pills before his final curtain call. The very trio that helped Mac accomplish his mission of escaping this planet to be with our Lord N' Savior got slapped with charges falling under conspiracy and drug distribution resulting in death.

On April 18th 2022, Ryan learned that he was going to get a whole decade's worth of ass banging resulting in anal tearing in jail. The next month, Stephen got hit with an even longer sentence than Ryan. He's scheduled to deal with 17 and a half years worth of his cellmates slapping their dicks all over his body before testing how much dick his ass can hold! Cameron, the guy who gave Mac the life eliminating cocktail of drugs made his grand exit from prison on October 11, 2024 after who knows how many years he served, probably with a “never again” tattoo on his forehead in addition to scars far up his rectum.

See also

  • Ariana Grande - The ex-bitch who depressed him to his current state and went on to wreck the lives of more people
  • Macklemore - Long lost cousin?
  • Pete Davidson - Who Ariana left Mac for because dick size matters to her

 MacMiller
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RAP IS FOR CRIMINALS “KICK IN THE DOOR WAVIN' THE .44!”