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Samurai were a group of Japanese deviants who basically invented the emo culture. The samurai were well known for stabbing themselves with swords, writing about sticking it to China in their Moonspeak diaries, and generally doing nothing.

Some people believe they were actually supporters of Ron Paul who traveled back in time to kill all the rapists to ensure Barrack Osama was never born. Of course, this is not true, as any good history book will tell you, because samurai really were just Wiggers and Weaboos who ripped off Power-Rangers and Ninjas.

Notable Acheivements

Got shot up by spanish in 1850 or some shit.

This was also the first time that the Spanish ever did anything right.

This was also the last time the Spanish ever did anything right.

Brainraped the people who actually watched Power-Rangers into thinking Samurai were cool.

Why Niggers can't be Samurai!

The plot thickens

After all of them died, some of them underwent the Michael Jackson Treatment™ and became even whiter then they already were. They did this for the sole reason of womanning the fudge up and forming the Church of Scientology. With time, the Samurai leaders of Scientology shit out a plan for covering their tracks. Little did they know that their history was indeed Shit nobody cares about. The Scientology Samurai created a metric Ass-Ton of new religions to cover up their one true religion in the 19th century, including: Christianity, Taoism, Judaism, and Cynicism. This plan, along with all of the rest of their Ass-Backwards plans, failed horribly, and soon, Samurai were just the lone asian kids on the back of the bus.

The plot thickens. Again!!1

Samurai were now swimming around in a plot so thick, it would make lesser men shit themselves, only to have the shit be reinserted into their collective anuses, because the plot was just that thick. With few options left, the samurai remembered why some people thought they existed, and went groveling back to Ron Paul, begging him to allow them to beg at him harder. Pr0n Paul accepted, and formed his own army of deviants who would change the world. With Noone in their way, they Csent Ron Paul to capital hill. Sadly, like everything else on Capitiol Hill, Ron Paul was shot down by a Well Meaning Citizen on a speedbike. This ended the Samurai's reign, and launched the world into an era of prosperity.