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Life Is Strange
If one were to define the most unoriginal video game of 2015, this would be the answer. Behold, Life Is Strange, an episodic video game about a twelfth grade emo bitch who discovers that she has the ability to rewind time in order to correct whatever fucks up in her life and can transport into photographs. Although this is the most derivative plot ever conceived, everybody gave the game's developers a huge ass-pat because the gameplay was Edgy as fuck, and starred a female protagonist for the sake of being progressive.
The Game
As mentioned, this game is episodic and has five total episodes. Explaining these episodes would be long and uninteresting, so we will explain it simply.
Episode 1: Chrysalis
Maxine Caulfield (referred to as "Max" hereinafter) is a newfag at Blackwell Academy in Oregon. After witnessing the pwnage of her lesbian friend, Chloe Price, she somehow acquires the ability to rewind time and uses this power to impress her faggot teacher, correct whatever fuck ups she makes and/or witnesses, and troll the shit out of anyone who hasn't checked their privilege. Soon enough, Max then discovers the truth about some "dream" she had which is actually the reckoning of a huge cyclone which is going to flush Arcadia Bay down the shitter. This dumb bitch is so much of hipster that she uses a Polaroid camera to take pictures with, despite the game is set in 2013. None of the advantages or quality of an actual camera. None of the convenience of a smartphone. Not contrived at all.
Episode 2: Out of Time
A ton of other bullshit happens; involving some lolcow named Kate Marsh following in Amanda Todd's footsteps and contemplating suicide after becoming the subject of a lulzy viral video. Max resorts to saving her sorry ass and pulling her down from the roof she was going to jump from, promising that she will find out what happened to Kate and Chloe's MIA friend Rachel Amber.
Episode 3: Chaos Theory
Max and her dyke friends break into the principal's office at night trying to find clues about Rachel's disappearance. They end up alerting the campus security and take refuge at the dormitory. Max examines a photo of herself and Chloe, which somehow transports her to the day the photo was taken. In this alternative reality, Max has to save Chloe's dad, but instead she paralyses Chloe from the neck down. Max looks at the photo again which allows her to rollback her dumbass decisions and restore the original timeline along with everyone's health.
Episode 4: Dark Room
After moar dicking around, Max explores a scrapyard and discovers Rachel's buried corpse. Mark Jefferson (the teacher) pulls a surprise attack; shooting Chloe in the head and putting Max to sleep. Max awakens and uses her powers to escape into a photograph and transport back to the beginning of the game.
Episode 5: Polarized
The party van shows up and arrests Mr. Jefferson, while Max comes to the realization that her abilities have caused an approaching cyclone that's about to royally pwn Arcadia Bay.
The ending depends on weather you made faggot decisions or not, and ultimately results in sacrificing Chloe to save the town, or vice versa.
Characters
- Maxine Caulfield: The main character. Max is a newfag at Blackwell Academy who has the ability to rewind time, which she uses in order to fulfill her perfectionist desires.
- Chloe Price: One of Max's friends, and a dyke (as hinted by her short blue hair). She provides no use to Max whatsoever, and only exists for the sake of this game having a "plot". She also speaks like a wigger all the time.
- Mark Jefferson: The teacher who drugs and kills young girls for the sake of fulfilling his necro-photogrpahy fetish. He's a 30-something-year-old cocksucker who manages to make every girl in school cream themselves.
- Kate Marsh: Some Christfag loser who becomes the subject of a viral video which makes her attempt to become An hero. Max can save her, but it's much more lulzy to just watch her jump.
- Warren Graham: A loveshy loser who wants to stick his microcock inside Max, oblivious to the fact that she's not interested in him because he's a dumb fuck. He is extremely fixated on the idea of "going ape" with Max, possibly hinting at his desire to watch as she gets railed by a big nigger.
- Victoria Chase: A gigantic rich cunt who bullies Max and puts the video of Kate on the internet for the lulz.
- Nathan Prescott: A schizophrenic Columbine wannabe who kickstarts the plot by pwning Chloe in the girls' bathroom, causing Max to discover her rewind power. He's Mr. Jefferson's gay butt-buddy and accomplice, though Jefferson kills him and plans to frame him for everything after it becomes apparent that he is functionally retarded.
- David Madsen: The security guard at Blackwell and Chloe's stepdad. He's a war veteran who was kicked out of the army for being a pedophile. Not to be deterred, however, David continues to act on his pedophilic urges by stalking the students of Blackwell and attempting to get security cameras installed all through the school. He'll attempt to save Max from Jefferson at the end of Episode 5, but he's such a retarded dumbass that he'll repeatedly get his ass handed to him by a middle-aged hipster, forcing Max to rewind over and over again to save his pathetic ass.
Videos
See also
- Time-travel
- Life hack
- The Comprehensive Guide To Life
- Remember Me – Dontnod's previous game. Dontnod wants to be Funcom (of The Longest Journey fame) real bad.
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Life Is Strange is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
