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Portal:Television/Featured Article/Archive
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July 2023
Fishtank, also called Fishtank Live was an interwebz-hosted "reality show"/"game show" founded in 2023 by Americunt comedy hack (and notorious terrorist) Sam Hyde, er, "Jason Goldstriker". The basis of the show was the dream of every OG-style internet troll and lolcow enthusiast: Get a bunch of autists together IRL in a house, remove their phones, and force them to compete in depraved challenges for "money", while people online watch the lulz ensue. The initial prize offered to the unlucky "winner" was a mere $10,000.00 of 'Murican money which isn't really that much - but it was eventually upped to $30K USD. This shitshow lasted for just a bit under two months in 2023 before ending its first season.
January 2023
Rick and Morty is Adult Swim's barely disguised ripoff of American Dad—which was itself a ripoff of Family Guy, complete with idiotic pop-culture references, forced memes and constant sex jokes for cheap laughs. While Family Guy stole its main characters from The Simpsons and made them even more tiring and boring to watch, Rick and Morty stole its main characters from "Back to the Future", but instead of learning how to make interesting and lovable characters who can go fantastic adventures, this show prefers to show dysfunctional characters yelling and screaming at each other for half an hour, feigning clever and realsitic relationships.
The show panders to a fanbase of mentally-challenged pseudo-intellectuals who actually believe that the show is extremely deep and highly scientific in its depiction of convoluted sci-fi garbage and constant poop jokes. The show has also done a shout-out to the plethora of sick fucks who draw incest porn of the show's characters and then post it on DevianTART.
As with all other Adult Swim shows, it has the child appeal equivalent to that of anything airing on Disney XD, animation that isn't much above what high-school, first year art students could make in their personal deviantART doodlebooks, along with repetitive episodes which entail many sexual, mutated, gore-filled adventures that are too fucked up to air on any other basic cable channel.
The show stars a batshit-insane, drunken grandpa; named Rick, and his queer 14-year-old grandson; Morty and the retarded catastrophic abominations they create on their time-wasting journeys across the universe. It was originally just a merciful film short before Cartoon Network found out they had too much FGT, so they threw it at this and boom, we have our new show, 21-minute-long episodes of pure shitfests and scientific failure.
There's currently 6 seasons of this shit; and counting.
October 2022
101 Dalmatian Street is a British cartoon series made by Disney to make 101 Dalmatians hip with the kids again. It is basically The Loud House, but for furfags instead of pedophiles. This show follows the various incestuous misadventures of two siblings: Dolly and Dylan. Like many other of Disney's properties, the series attracts many furries and autistic manchildren with its bright, blinding colors and bland anthropomorphic characters.
December 2021
Alec Baldwin is an American actor who gets put into shitty unfunny Hollywood movies to please the mass of low minded idiots that will find anything funny. Last Tuesday, Alec Baldwin was eventually tired of these comedy hack producers not making anything good, and decided to give the director Joel Soulza what he deserved, a nice shooting. However he end up killing the cinematographer Halyna Hutchins instead. He now claims it was an "accident" - probably to try and avoid an investigation from the FBI.
2019-2020
"GONE MISSING"
October 2018
Nurse Who is a long-running British science fiction TV series that's been both a source of merchandising success and professional embarrassment to the BBC. Nurse Who is to the British what Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica or even Stargate is to Americans; something for asexual geeks to masturbate to in lieu of finding a real life and having at least, the tiniest chance of reproducing. Since the show is British it is forced to hire better actors and writers to distract viewers from all them fucked up teeth. If one had to sum up the appeal of Nurse Who, one would have to describe it as the dullest show evar made - even compared to the webcast PowerPoint anime starring Withnail and the universally acclaimed USAnian movie. It's main selling point for American faggots is that, unlike every show in their motherland, it somehow manages to mention the occasional faggot without turning EVERY CHARACTER ON THE SHOW INTO ONE. For those unsatisfied with the reasonable levels of faggotry, the BBC created Torchwood. Today, Nurse Who is Avatar for otherkin.
May 2017
Samurai Jack is the Holy Grail of cartoons and was created by Genndy Tartakovsky. Originally a show from a month before 9/11, it made an unexpected return in 2017 where it single-handedly BTFO every liberal tumblr cartoon on TV, including reddit's favourite shitty shows, like Rick and Morty, Steven Universe and The Loud House, garnering more ratings than all of these pretentious fuckshows combined.
Mister Tartakovsky. For that alone, we at Encyclopedia Dramatica welcome you as our lord and saviour of lulz.
January 2017
LazyTown is supposedly a kids' show, even though no kid has EVER watched it. The show is mainly geared towards pedophiles and coma victims. Kids rarely find LazyTown entertaining, but if you are a sensible adult who does not fantasize about underage girls, beware.
This show will skull fuck your reality. This program routinely whips out its joyful; bubbly and abnormally massive cock; inserts said cock into your cranial cavity; and doesn't stop pounding until it squirts a bucket of sticky pink happiness into your diseased and swollen brain tissue.
No joke, after watching only thirty minutes of this show you'll be a candidate for tube feeding.
Even though the town depicted in the show is called LazyTown, there are barely any niggers.
All too often, one comes across fan-porn of this show: Photoshopped pictures of its pink haired protagonist Stephanie sucking cock. These pictures originate from 4chan and Something Awful members, generally to post on other, more innocent boards such as Gaia Online or Neopets, or as fapping material for sick fucks.
June 2014
The show revolves around a family of Bible thumping, gay hating, nigger beating rednecks that makes blowable dildos that makes noises to attract ducks and kill their feathered asses for fun. The use these dildos to make money and sell them to other rednecks, so they can kill their next church picnic meal. This show is an advertising cash cow that Wal-Mart is diminishing their sports section in order to dedicate an aisle to bobble heads and calendars of the heads of a Southern generation. No wonder why obesity rates are growing.
August 2014
Neil Patrick Harris is an alter ego of Barney Stinson and a popular A-list so called celebrity. He is best known from being gay, starring in some ‘80s TV series that you will never even recall, and meeting your mother. It should also be noted, that - despite his wide-opened gayness and the fact that he's already "married" AND has two adopted kids - he's one of the most longed for shlick material to half of women population in this world.
April 2014
Wilkins Coffee was the most popular brand of coffee from the beginning of time up until about the 1980s because if you were caught drinking any other brand, Jim Henson's proto-Kermit would shoot you in the fucking face. Wilkins went out of business due to the countless lawsuits it got from the families of the victims who lost their lives to the blood thirsty Kermit. Kermit however was acquitted of all charges of capital murder and went on to become the star of both Sesame Street and The Muppet Show while the family members had to live with seeing the murderer go free and taunt them in their faces on national television.
February 2014
Bleach is an anime series, with over three hundred and sixty six episodes and counting, with a name that makes no sense. The only reason we have an article is that hordes of angry waps like to argue about the name and draw cartoons of the fourteen-year-old orange-haired girl with giant tits. It is the epitome of self-aggrandizing, masturbatory power-fantasy material, beating the epic Naruto due to the fact that 13 year olds would rather identify with an adolescent boy than some Awesome ninja. Bleach follows a simple but effective 'expanding fetish-focus' formula for luring in the asinine punters, to be found in an increasing amount of animu and mango.
December 2013
Once one of the lulziest shows ever to lulz the lulz on television, it's now considered an old meme and generally shitty. True hXc fans claim the quality dropped off after the 9th season or when Matt Groening stole all of the non-shitty writers to work on Futurama, leaving The Simpsons at the mercy of Mike Scully and Fox network executives dead set on whoring the show out long past the point of being profitable and franchise becomes a walking poster child for shows that should have been euthanized.
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Gravity Falls is an American animated comedy horror television series created by Alex Hirsch. It features two twins, a boy named Dipper who nobody gives half a shit about, and a girl named Mabel who is obsessed with vampires, pigs, glitter, and other girly shit. Like any other cartoon created in the last decade, it generated a huge fantard following consisting of tumblr 16-year-old girls and /co/'s usual base of sick fucks and manchildren, the latter who find Mabel very sexy.
You might know Mark Wahlberg (or as TOW calls him, Mark Robert Michael Wahlberg, born June 5, 1971) as a manlet American actor, probably most well known for being cast in all those shitty remakes of classic movies that nobody liked or asked for and films that couldn't afford Leonardo DiCaprio.
You might also know him for being a little wigger faggot in the early '90s and calling himself Marky Mark, frontman with the band Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, a gang of part-time rent boys that managed to make Vanilla Ice look like blacker than Wesley Snipes by comparison.
What you might not know, however, is that Mark Wahlberg is a violent thug and a huge racist who haets Azns. No srsly, it's true.
SpongeBob SquarePants is a cartoon about a sentient sponge named SpongeBob doing random, repetitive, unfunny jokes that stretch longer than Kirk Johnson's anus. The show is a notable lolcow for the fact that it's quite obvious that SpongeBob is gay. Why else would he need so many holes, cry in every single episode, and in one occasion adopt a child in a same-sex partnership? From day 1 to current day, all of the episodes promote homosexuality and everyone who watches it has most likely turned gay by now.
