Narnia

Narnia looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is the first and most famous novel in a series of seven fantasy books for children written by renowned English fag and owner of Microsoft C. S. Lewis.

This is NOT Sparta.

It has been well-documented as being the first case of written literature to influence children into becoming furfags and future pedophiles, as one of its characters appears to be a scarf-wearing fawn with a penchant for BSDM and rape, Susan developed quickly into jailbait, and Lucy is a wet dream for D&D-playing pedophiles everywhere. For some reason, some dickshit decided to make the first book into an epic film, which although littered with special effects has been heavily criticised as being TL;DR. It is not currently known if the rest are to be made into movies as well, but several spin-offs have been made such as Harry Potter and LOTR, and Lewis has been paid for lending his name to several types of Dildo, Playstation games, a TV series, and every single bug that occurs in a Word document.

The General Plot of the Novel

Narnia is crawling with pedos!

During a game of hide-and-seek(find-and-fuck), four evacuees escape the wrath of a perverted old man who turns out to be Hitler. The youngest of four children decides to hide in a big wooden box. This turns out to be the Wardrobe and transports him/her/it/them to a magical land full of furfags and a White Witch ruling the land of Narnia since Last Thursday. Some war occurs and one of the kids decides to commit bestiality with Mufassa, and then all the children get knighted and reign happily ever after. One of the main themes is the pedohilic relationship between one of the children and a much older half goat thing.

Narnia is SRS BSNS.

A LION IS JESUS CHRIST GET INTO CAIR PARAVEL!

The second novel, and all the following novels, had basically the same plot outlines, featuring Disney-esque talking animals, wizzard chess, Pokemon, and Quidditch, leading many critics to believe that C.S Lewis was actually a thieving scumbag even though he wrote the books before Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. After seven novels the public was fed up with reading about a bunch of 11 year-olds plotting to over-throw Sauron, escaping getting baleeted from history, and starting the shooting at Virginia Tech. Instead, they decided to read Harry Potter, which is about furries.

There are no synopses of the third novel or anything after that, because nobody fucking bothered reading after the first two books. Why, you ask? Because anything beyond the second books sucked so much cock that the already high levels of cock suckery in the previous books paled in comparison to these. To preserve your sanity, avoid the last books more than you avoided the first two.

TL;DR Narnia is what happens when you do crack inside a wardrobe.

ZOMG Spoiler!!!1!11!

Christcat is Christ.

He's Jesus. Aslan is Jesus. He died for your sins. Especially the sins of cross-dressing little boys who play in their mother's wardrobes trying on her prettiest dresses.

Gallery

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  OH SUSAN!!!
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  FAP FAP FAP
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  Jesus Christ is a Lion!

See Also

Modern day wizard of oz