Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus (known in Glorious Nippon as 光神話パルテナの鏡) is a series of vidya gaemz by Nintendo that is notable for being the Big N's most neglected franchise – a fact that many are unaware of since the series has about 2 fans and Metroidfags are whiny little bitches who will throw a fit if even six months go by without a new installment. The games all put the player in control of a shota angel named Pit who is generally tasked with rescuing the Goddess of Light, Palutena, from some evil villain who's turned her to stone – which is the same plot as literally every single fucking Nintendo game at the time except Metroid.

Nintendo's answer to God of War. Also, note that the enemy on the cover doesn't even exist in the game.

The original Kid Icarus was released in 1987 for the NES and is known for being so utterly hard as fuck that it causes most players to ragequit within the first three levels of the game. The game resembles an abortion in a blender in that 90% of the game is just recycled shit from The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Bros. and God of War that's been hastily thrown together and branded as a "game" despite not being finished, not being fun and not making any fucking sense whatsoever.

Yes, this was an NES game. Yes, these ginormous blue titties were in the manual.

Video

Reboot

Pit is now a twink

After Pit was released as a character in 2008's Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Nintendo realized there was potential for many jewgolds to be made. They released Kid Icarus Uprising in 2012 on the 3DS. Most importantly, Palutena was redesigned as a MILF with big mommy milkers. All 5 Kid Icarus fans were ecstatic to have a new game come out since the last one to be released was in 1991 on the Game Boy.