Internet killers

Internet killers are a group of l33t h4x0rz intent on causing IRL pwning. They will eat your liver and blow up your van. That's assuming their intense need to share their butthurt over their miserable lives hasn't already caused fatal damage to everyone around them.

Life. Death. Intar-net. Leading experts in the field consider internet killers to be the martyrs of our generation, having eschewed self-sacrifice in favor of homicide. As the list of internet killers grows steadily with time, many wait patiently for the first internet serial killer, hoping perhaps to be amongst the victims, or enjoy a romantic penis dinner.

Brave Prometheus

Adventurers swarmed from IRL, as much enemies of the one race as of the other, to cozen, beguile, and use the internet. And at the time, it truly was the internet (singular), because this was back in the day before the other nets had been manufactured in the factories and mills of a young America. It was 1996, and the nation was still reeling from the pain of a great Civil War that had consumed the continent and caused so much stress on the head of the president that it exploded as he watched a heartwarming rendition of Last Action Hero, performed entirely in black face. It was during these halcyon days that Sharon Lopatka, an "internet entrepreneur" too obese to have run a successful porn site posted a request searching for a man to torture and kill her. Although many came forth to answer the call, few actually had the guts to serve their country and keep their word, that is, until Robert Frederick Glass bravely strangled her with a nylon cord after raping and torturing her for a few days.

Although both Sharon and Robert lived out their fantasy, only Sharon's would have a happy ending. Robert was later convicted of voluntary manslaughter and was found to be in possession of child pornography, ensuring plenty of shower room sodomy at the hands of HIV infested niggers.

Important traits of internet killers

Internet killers have blogs. Nobody IRL has a blog, so this is the most important means of detecting these killers. If you know someone in the real world who has a blog, they are probably getting ready to kill you. Plz buy a dog at the next earliest convenience.

If the killer is under the age of twenty, they invariably use either tumblr or Facebook to whine about how hard their middle-class, suburbanite lives are and to make themselves feel popular. Older killers typically hang out on Usenets, blogger, or communicate the old fashioned way: through email.

All internet killers are furfags or otherkin. Sometimes both. They often kill to act out their bestial fantasies, citing insurmountable supernatural forces and insisting that they are not subject to human laws due to their superiority as a magical being.

Some killers evade prison by becoming an hero. Sadly, most of them are too chickenshit to step up and off themselves, so they settle for cutting and continuing to whine until numerous nigra cocks get stuffed in their face and ass in prison.

Future breakthroughs in internet killing

Internet Hate Machine is here to help!

Despite the confusing title, no one has yet managed to kill someone via the internet. Fortunately, with the aid of the Internet Hate Machine channeled through the fourth dimensional warp-fields made possible by quantum computing, this is becoming a more likely scenario in the coming decades. And it's about fucking time.