Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Andrew Shirvell Loves Chris Armstrong

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

Chris Armstrong is a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL NAZI ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR - and the newly elected head of the University of Michigan's student government. This is something that former alum and Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell is shocked & appalled about so he started a one-man campaign to tell everyone that this is SERIOUS BUSINESS by starting a blog called Chris Armstrong Watch.

Whilst this one-man Jihad against a duly elected young college student by a fully-grown adult man employed by the State of Michigan may seem imprudent, improper and juvenile, (not to mention obsessive and closet faggotry) it is -as Mr Shirvell keeps reminding us- his First Amendment right as a private citizen. He has also stated that "This Concerned Michigan Alumnus would rather go homeless and sleep on the street than give-up my First Amendment rights to freedom of expression and religion." (This wish might actually come true pretty soon since he was recently put on "administrative leave").

In his defence, he has done NOTHING immoral OR illegal (yet). Sadly, the same cannot be said for Armstrong and his fellow radical homosexual activists and "allies." As Isaiah rightly prophesied: "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness . . ." (5:20).

The Interview

You can tell from his voice alone that he's a total closet 'tard.

The Watch

Not content to just sit around his basement blogging about his obsession, Mr. Shirvell also keeps an eye on Mr Armstrong's Facebook page and the pages of his gay friends to see what he's missing out on. One post he found HIGHLY offensive was from someone who Mr. Shirvell discovered was Mr. Armstrong's secret boyfriend, another RADICAL MILITANT HOMOSEXUAL.

   
 
Hey Chris, I miss you and our rampant sexual adventures with multiple people at multiple locations such as churches and children's playgrounds. Maybe some day in the future ;) Love (and Lust).
 

 
 

—K

Prior to the now infamous blog, Mr. Shirvell had campaigned against Mr. Armstrong with a Facebook group called Michigan Alumni and Others Against Chris Armstrong's Radical MSA Agenda but Facebook b& it for being anti-gay. Mr. Shirvell blamed Armstrong for bawwwing to Facebook's "powers that be" and condemned his NAZI-LIKE Hatred of the First Amendment.

   
 
Much like Nazi Germany's leaders, many of whom were also homosexuals, Armstrong believes that any and all opposition must be suppressed by whatever means necessary.
 

 
 

—Shirvell

He has also gone IRL with his campaign, turning up outside Mr. Armstrong's apartment with a billboard and video camera.

Mr. Shirvell has diligently sought the truth about Mr. Armstrong and provided evidence that he is unfit to serve as prez of the student government. On September 5th, he caught Mr. Armstrong's "Gay Rush" campus party getting raided by the Party Van.


 
 
At 1:30 a.m. on 9-5-10, the Ann Arbor Police Department raided the so-called "gay rush" party that took place at the home of Michigan Student Assembly President Chris Armstrong, a viciously militant homosexual activist. This brief footage captures the chaotic scene outside of Chris' house.
 

 

—Andrew AntiArmstrong Shirvell


The Moar You Know

Amongst the damning evidence, Mr. Shirvell wants you to know that:

  • Homosexuals in Michigan have a history of engaging in public sex acts in at churches. In early November 2008, during Armstrong's sophomore year at the University, a self-described queer anarchist group calling itself "Bash Back!" stormed Mount Hope Church in Lansing one Sunday morning. In Gestapo-like fashion, over thirty MILITANT HOMOSEXUAL TERRORISTS from around the state descended on one of Michigan's largest Evangelical churches.

Wearing secret-service style ear pieces and microphones they received the 'go' from their ringleader and off they went . . . "JESUS WAS GAY!" they shouted among other profanities and blasphemies as they rushed the stage . . . two women made their way to the pulpit and began to kiss.

In fact, while a student in high school, John Oltean was a member of a band DISGUSTINGLY called "Fetus for Breakfast." The band's MySpace profile page shows a woman in her bathrobe eating what appears to be the remains of an unborn child out of a bowl. See: http://www.myspace.com/fetusforbreakfast

  • Chris Armstrong, a militant homosexual extremist, had the impudence to host a "gay" orgy at his U of M dorm back in October of 2009, the reaction from the University's homosexual "community" has been predictable. That is, Armstrong's fellow militants are THRILLED that he so perfectly reflects their promiscuous lifestyle.
   
 
Oh my god, yes! I had so much sex that night! What a fabulous night of homosexual shenanigans.
 

 
 

—Orgy participant

  • Chris Armstrong had a Facebook event called "A Night of Homosexual Shenanigans" scheduled to take place at his apartment on Saturday, July 10th. The event was organized in "honor" of all those who either attended Armstrong's October 24, 2009 orgy or who now support Armstrong's "right" to hold such a "party" at his dorm. Participants were told to bring their own "condoms and lube."
  • Chris Armstrong has repeatedly shown a total disrespect for the brave men and women - working class, everyday people - who make-up Ann Arbor's law enforcement community. These individuals willingly put themselves in real danger every day and Armstrong and his cronies think nothing of 1) routinely breaking the law, 2) mocking these officers on Facebook for entertainment, 3) wasting officers' time by crying wolf, and 4) demanding that the officers act as their personal lackeys. This is beyond outrageous; it's just plain sick.
  • Chris Armstrong uses a bullhorn at campus rallies. This decision to use the bullhorn was no accident as a bullhorn is revered in the radical homosexual community thanks to its popularisation by the RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL movement's biggest icon - Harvey Milk, a prominent and influential homosexual "rights" activist who rose to political power in San Francisco during the 1970s. Coincidence, I think NOT!
  • Chris Armstrong is a member of the Order of Angell - a secret society and U of M's version of the KKK whose members have included such prominent racists such as United States President Gerald Ford and many famous NFL quarterbacks (who are ALWAYS white and boss their African-American teammates around like slaves).

Observations

  • Chris Armstrong lied to the Native American Student Association when he stated he would not accept a tap. Do not trust Chris Armstrong. (Submitted on April 20, 2010 - 9:24 a.m.).
  • I can't believe that we have a student president who goes back on his word and joins an organization that promotes racism and inequality. We must take a step back and examine the actions of these so-called 'pride of campus' individuals. Maybe they aren't so admirable after all. (Submitted on April 20, 2010 - 10:52 a.m.).
  • Anyone who joins [the Order of Angell] is not my leader on campus . . . Chris Armstrong should be ashamed of himself . . . I don't care that he is a white man . . . HE LIED TO US . . . ALL OF US. (Submitted on April 20, 2010 - 1:06 p.m.).
  • Demand Chris Armstrong's resignation. Now. (Submitted on April 20, 2010 - 7:45 p.m.).
  • Let's not even let them [MSA] hold meetings next year . . . I say a boycott is in order. idiots. (Submitted on April 22, 2010 - 4:44 p.m.).
  • Selfish bunch . . . just shows, even the first gay MSA prez is completely corrupted by his power. Pretty sad. Enjoy your wealth and power while you can Angell members . . . when the revolution starts, you'll be the first ones left out. (Submitted on April 22, 2010 - 4:59 p.m.).

Testimony

What follows is Mr. Shirvell's eye-witness account of a terrifying encounter he had with Mr. Armstrong and his militant gay henchmen during an anti-Prop 8 rally on campus:

"As I was violently attacked by Armstrong's supporters on a public sidewalk this past July, images of other recent hate crimes against Christian believers and racial minorities filled my mind. Specifically, I recalled reading about the despicable treatment of Christians and African-Americans in the wake of California's 2008 democratically-enacted Proposition 8.

The white, affluent homosexual community, from which Chris Armstrong and his supporters hail, became violently enraged in the wake of Proposition 8 and attacked and desecrated Mormon temples, Catholic churches, and Evangelical houses of worship throughout the United States, including here in Michigan.

Moreover, roaming gangs of radical homosexual activists viciously attacked Christians on the street, including elderly women. And some of the most intense hate exhibited by "gays" occurred with respect to African-Americans, who voted overwhelmingly in favor of Proposition 8. One African-American who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time made this chilling observation about a pro-homosexual "rights" rally at the time:

   
 
It was like being at a klan rally except the klansmen were wearing Abercrombie polos and Birkenstocks
 

 
 

Black man

Blogateiled

Unfortunately, right in the middle of trawling his blog for lulz and other damning evidence of Mr. Armstrong's faggotry at around 3.45pm PDT on September 30th, Andrew Shirvell locked his blog from ED's prying eyes.



Fortunately, like Anonymous, googlecash does not forget and ED's crack team of LNN newsmen used it to access (and save) his entire blog for the public record. You can temporarily see them here (August), here, (July) here, (June) here (May) and here (April).

The Fallout

Whilst Mr. Shirvell has no qualms about declaring his love for Chris Armstrong on national television, Mr. Armstrong has so far remained silent on the matter, preferring to do his talking through a lawyer he is supposedly hiring to seek a restraining order against his BFF (even though they will eventually fall madly in love and gay marry) based on complaints and an investigation involving "potential harassment or stalking or intimidation" of Armstrong by Shirvell.

Mr. Shirvell is also currently b& from the UM campus.

Mr. Shirvell claims that there is nothing personal in his persecution of Mr. Armstrong and that this is all part of any modern political campaign. The fact that Mr. Armstrong has already been elected as president of the UM student government and that Mr. Shirvell isn't running for anything (other than crazy person of the year) seems to be of little consequence.


Meanwhile, Mr Shirvell's boss, state Attorney General Mike Cox, took him to task for his lack of judgment.

   
 
Mr. Shirvell's personal opinions are his and his alone and do not reflect the views of the Michigan Department of Attorney General. But his immaturity and lack of judgment outside the office are clear.
 

 
 

Cox

Why Isn't He Fired?


Anderson Cooper eventually got to the bottom of why My Cocks hasn't fired Mr. Shirvell and that it's because Cocks and Shirvell are actually BFFs and political allies. Mostly though, it appears that Cocks and Shirvell are in bed together, not literally (well...maybe literally) but are close political allies who dress to the right and that Shirvell has been on Cocks' payroll (gay for pay?) for years as 'consultant' and helped get him elected. All of which begs the question HOW DID MY COCKS GET ELECTED WITH A DIMWIT LIKE SHIRVELL RUNNING HIS CAMPAIGN?

This whole affair not only calls into question the sanity of Michigan voters in general, but the very fabric of Democracy. It is the opinion of this website that maybe democracy isn't such a good idea after all and we should try a dictatorship.

Mr. Cooper asked Cocks back on his show to explain himself but Cocks declined. However, when challenged with CNN esteemed legal analyst Jerffrey Tubin's assertion that Mr. Shirvell could be legally fired for "conduct unbecoming of a state employee", Mr. Cocks got off a whip-smart zinger.

   
 
Whenever I think of Jeffrey Tubin it reminds me of that ad on TV that says "I'm not really a lawyer but I play one on TV."
 

 
 

—Cocks

Breaking News

After fellow gay activist Anderson Cooper took the story global, thrusting Andrew Shirvell into the moshpit that is the 24/7 news cycle and the story went viral, everyone and their grandmother started weighing in on it. Even the usual homophobes weren't willing to go balls-to-the-wall on the story and nary a word was heard in support of the batshit insane stalker Shirvell's First Amendment rights. As Cooper followed up by browbeating Mr. Shirvell's boss pressure began to mount for something to be done and CNN had legal scholars poring over the terms of Andrew Shirvell's employment contract for loopholes to can him. It didn't take long for the other shoe to drop.

Suspended! Wait, it's just a leave of absence.

Shirvell is now taking a vacation of indeterminate length, and will face a disciplinary hearing when he returns.


Chris Armstrong speaks out at last

Can you really blame Shirvell? This kid is charming, despite his radical agenda of longer cafeteria hours, gender-neutral campus housing and lower tuition fees. Clearly, Mr. Armstrong is anti-American and -as Mr. Shirvell points out- Satan's representative on the student body council.

Armstrong Drops Restraining Order Request

Dropped it!

   
 
Then on Oct. 13, Shirvell filed a motion asking Francis to recuse herself from the case, saying that because Shirvell had protested Francis' sister, Alma Wheeler-Smith, Francis wouldn't be able to be impartial.
 

 
 

Protested her sister? Maybe he's just bi.

Misc

Some lulzy wag decided to watch the watcher. Amongst the findings of Chris Armstrong Watch Watch is the bombshell that not only is Andrew Shirvell way OTT with his CAPSLOCK he's also a Jew -the grammar Nazi's worst nightmare.


 
 
This smoking gun suggests that Chris Armstrong Watch is an outright anti-grammar bigot who openly mocks correct English grammar and the sanctity of unused dashes. He lays it heavy on these dashes whenever his panties are in a bundle, incorrectly throwing them between two words that typically form a dashless phrase, and, in a DISGUSTING display of ineptitude, separating a word that has never even dreamed of having a dash. "Out-right"?
 

 

—Chris Armstrong Watch Watch


See Also

External Links

  • Phone: (517) 541-2370, Cell: (734) 476-3916
Andrew Shirvell Loves Chris Armstrong is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
[NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]
Andrew Shirvell Loves Chris Armstrong
is part of a series on serious business
Serious Concepts

Free SpeechIdentity theftIronyInternet assholeInternet CelebritiesInternet diseaseInternet dramaInternet humanitariansInternet LawInternet lawsuitInternet lawyerInternet stalkingInternet tough guyInternet Vigilante GroupOperation Falcon PunchSwattingVandalismWorld Wide Web Consortium

People & Organizations

2cashAlan TuringCasey SerinDavid HockeyDear Cis PeopleDoxbinFast EddieGrace SaundersHallcats SquadronJessi SlaughterMary BellMeek MillKittensMaja SchmidtMissyNiggest Crook ForcePsychopathVloggerheadsWEB SHERIFF

 

Andrew Shirvell Loves Chris Armstrong is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article October 2, 2010
Preceded by
Operation Restoring Truthiness
Andrew Shirvell Loves Chris Armstrong Succeeded by
Rick Sanchez