Erlang

Erlang is a script kiddy language that makes it easy to spawn unreasonable quantities of processes without the effort of using threading libraries, shared memory, and locking. To put it in nigger terms someone like you can understand, you could potentially login to habbo with thousands of different accounts at the same time and command your army through simple messages in 1/100th the code of a C program using pthreads and a socket library. You can update your code without your pixelated nigras logging out. You could DDoS Co$ without the shame of using Longcat flooder or other trash made with .net by faggots who actually installed MSVC. Erlang was invented by Emacs last thursday to improve the scalability of the telecom industry enough to support over 9000 12 year old girls. Of course before you get started, first you'd have to actually understand dErplang which likes to pull out more random stuctures than a faggot with a box of legos in his ass. You can enjoy such fine and intuitive data structures like {tubles}, [lists] and atoms along with 'eccentric' syntax rules that would make any language call Erlang gay. Erlang can create more processes than your operating system can even handle and it doesn't afraid of anything.

Serious Business

In the early 90's a group of engineers working with Erlang made a demo reel showcasing it's fascinating ability to connect telephone lines together. Somewhere down the line everyone forgot programmers and engineers rarely see the light of day and thus should be exposed to the rest of the universe with extreme caution. The effect of putting their ghastly images on film and then showing it to Ericsson's customers was much akin to the companies vice president bursting into the conference room completely naked and smeared in his own excrement. Unfortunately the video of that hasn't yet surfaced so you will just have to make do with this; see if you can endure it right to the end.