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Archie Comics
Archie Comics is comic company that produces comics about Archie and his friends. There read by people not cool enough for Marvel and DC and shit so they read a comics about a bunch of teenagers solving mysteries and shit. It started out as Pep Comics, but no one gave a shit about anybody except for Archie and his dumbass friends. Now they make comics about people in high school that will never age.
They also make comics about Sabrina the Teenage Witch. They also made comics about Sonic and Mega Man until Sega and Capcom realized their retards.
Characters
- Archie Andrews A guy that every girl wants to fuck.
- Veronica Lodge Some spoiled rich kid who bitches about everything.
- Jughead Jones Dumbass who spends his time eating pizza and watching tv all day.
- Betty Cooper The one who has an actual fucking brain.
The rest are just clones of the existing characters.
Other Comics
Josie and the Pussycats
A band who appeared in the Archie Comics that creators decided to give there own comic. It follow Josie, Melody and Valerie| Nothing as anything to with it being a band and is instead about beating up Criminals stuff and band would do. Why the fuck are they teenagers getting into fights with peoples without even having weapons, who the fuck cares it's fiction.
Every issue is the same as the last. Nonsense bullshit, when it's actually about the band it's petty drama no gives fuck about.
Sabrina and the Teenage Witch
Sabrina the Teenage Witch is a comic book about a bratty little shit who doesn't want be a witch so she bitches about it to her parents, her parents don't give a fuck and take her Witch school and Witch crafting event. She has a talking cat who is actually a witch punished for acting apeshit.
Sabrina has boyfriend named Harvey. But because he's a mortal Sabrina is to pussy to tell she's a witch. So she lies to her boyfriend about everything.
Sonic the Hedgehog
Based on the shitty video-game series of the same name Sonic the Hedgehog is a series fucks all game continuity and makes up a bunch of OC's and makes them "freedom fighters" trying to stop an evil supervillian Eggman. This is series is basically a 1000 different Sonic fanfics made in the life-span of 25 years.
If it wasn't bad enough the series rebooted to make it more in line with the game to please Sonic fans, which pissed of some fans of the comics. Now you can see a new bullshit story about Sonic and his friends
Eventually when the rights went IDW Comics the Archie series was pwnd.
Mega Man
After Sonic they thought they could make a comic out of another video game series. Unlike Sonic however it ended quickly as no one gave a fuck.
TV Shows
Cartoons
Archie has many cartoon adaptions. We won't list any of them because everything said above could be said for these cartoons.
Live Action
Sabrina and the Teenage Witch
Sabrina and the Teenage Witch is a sitcom based on the comics. The cast is now being done by whores and is just shitty sitcom. It lasted for 7 Seasons somehow.
The show is basically just the comics a witch bitches about not being normal and has to suck it up. Only this time because it's sitcom all the fantasy and mystery is replaced by unfunny jokes.
Riverdale
Every wanted a complete non sensical teen soap about 20 year olds who are supposed to be Archie and Friends twerking and pole dancing complete with the craggiest dialogue possible?
There you go
Riverdale is show with no plot whatsoever, and just a bunch of random shit happens. The people talk like they have mental issues, and are allowed to do adult stuff like drink and sell drugs. The show is basically a bunch of teenagers in skimpy clothes having sex all the time. Nothing in this show makes sense or every will.
Somehow this show has audience of 12 year old girls who drool over KJ Apa and Cole Sprouse, and talk about their favorite ships. Because of this show is successful proving that people's standards are bare minimum.
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
If one shit show isn't enough they made two of them.
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is once again a show with no plot whatsoever and just a bunch of teenagers having sex. Once again their allowed to do adult stuff like drink and sell drugs but only this time adults give it to there kids. Holy shit it's a musical now.
They show like Riverdale was popular because people have no standards.
The show was cancelled because of the pandemic which led to fantards raging, which got worse when the ending was rushed. Which show's that you shouldn't watch shitty TV Shows.
Katy Keene
No one watched it because it sucked and it had no hot boys to droll over. It was cancelled after 1 season.
Movies
- 1976 Special: Nobody watched it except boomers
- Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again Nobody watched it except boomers
Josie and the Pusscats
Josie and the Pussycats is a 2001 porngraphic propaganda movie to show the mental retardation of society. It's about a boss who want's to sell corporate products to children to please the government. They spy on the government trying to find out their secret plans.
This movie flopped as people didn't want to see furries because they weren't sickfucks.
See Also
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