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Butthurt
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You can help by using it in the correct context and not being a fucking retard. |
Butthurt is that special feeling in your ass after it's been kicked and/or fucked. It is a common ailment amongst losers on the internet. It is usually characterized by noisy whining and complaining after being pwnt or otherwise outdone in any minute and insignificant way. It was invented at least 100 years ago by Vlad the Impaler when he went crazy from living in a time without the internets. Today, butthurt occurs most commonly when you fall asleep with your friends and they, being your friends, decide it would be funny to sodomize you. Butthurt is also a primary generator of lulz on the internets and has produced many lolcows.
—Robb | ||
Ways to avoid butthurt
- Don't fall asleep in the same room as "your friends".
- Don't fall asleep in gay bars.
- Don't go to gay bars in the first place.
- Keep your anus sewed up at all times, unless taking a dump.
- Make sure your Raisin Bran is still good.
- Don't let someone put you in a head-lock, sleeper-hold.
- Don't go to jail, especially if it's for giving someone else butthurt.
- If you do go to jail, don't drop the soap.
- If you're under 15, NEVAR accept an invitation to a sleepover at Neverland Ranch. Jackson will come back from the dead and give you large amounts of butthurt.
- NEVER go anywhere near a boy with autism.
- Seek training and guidance from Kirk Johnson, who's put in the work necessary to make sure he never feels butthurt (or anything else back there) ever again.
- Wear a buttplug at all times, a RapeX is optional.
- Don't stick a highlighter up your pooper.
- Don't go to church.
- If forced to go to church, don't go near the priest.
- If near the priest, butthurt unavoidable.
- Don't argue on the internetz!
- Go to google.com and search "R@ygold"
- ????
- PROFIT!
Stages of Butthurt
(Note: This only applies to the lolcow edition. For them homos, please look in this gallery.)
If you or anyone you know have recently discovered that you have an article on ED, saying meanly mean things about your mom, then these are the stages that you will soon be dealing with, that every lovely young lady and growing young lad goes through. Maybe you posted really obnoxious art on devianTART, or have stated that you are a dragon, or are a flat out furfag art whore cum slobbering gutter slut. It doesn't matter now, because you all will go through the same phases.)
Here is an example of overwhelming butthurt.
- Stage One: IDC lol :D
You try to pretend that you don't care about the article,even thanking ED for all the views that its been giving your art pages on deviantART. Pshaw! Show your fans that you're better than that. Note: During this time you will have an inflated ego, and an urge to write a poem to ED giving thanks to them. Luckily this is the shortest stage of all and will likely last a week at most.
- Stage Two: BLACK RAGE!!
Forget being nice. ED hasn't deleted that article yet after a whole five minutes and it's time to bring out your inner fat Russian kid. Post anti-ED furry gay porn on devianTART and see how those rapscallions like that! This of course will only bring out more lulz. You will no doubt send your fans to edit the page, bringing down even moar lulz. To show them who's the bees knees, make a YouTube video of you and your little brother rapping about how much EDiots smell.
- Stage Three: BAWWWWW!!!
Start saying on LiveJournal that your mood is sad :(. Make big rants about how your life sucks and how no one likes you. Contrary to popular belief, ED will only edit the pictures of you looking sad to make it look like Mudkips are raping your face. Bonus points if you mention you are bipolar and hear voices.
- Stage Four: God
Why be mad when you can be a martyr? You will begin saying you forgive ED because it's what Jesus would do.
Similar to stage one, except you add in that everyone on ED will burn in hell anyway so it doesn't matter lol. :D HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
Fine Examples of Being Butthurt
Previous Video | Next Video
SERIOUS ISSUES ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Trolling with Butthurt
Calling people butthurt is also an effective way for uncreative internet tough guys to generate lulz without putting any effort into their work. The idea is simple: The second anyone reveals that they care about something, simply generate a post accusing that person of butthurt. If you plan on making that post longer than one word, then throw in terms such as Bawwwww and Moralfag and then reuse them endlessly in order to troll the subject into submission. Use these words over and over in each subsequent post and never let go.
—An example of a troll using the "butthurt" strategy with regard to the Mulberry Eight case. |
The sky's the limit.
Banning of "Butthurt" on /v/
Last Thursday moot decided to have a dick sucking contest on 4chan's /v/, the results of which, among others, were the autobanning of the word "butthurt". The reasons behind this are a mystery, although some believe it may have something to do with moot being extremely butthurt after losing an argument to a faggot. No longer can weeaboos throw this shit at one another in an attempt to look cool or some shit like that. If one does attempt to make a post containing "butthurt", that user will be informed that their post is, in fact, rude, and will shortly thereafter be given a warning, all of which amounts to fucking jack shit. Some /v/irgins have resorted to other phrases to troll themselves. Some of these include:
- ass-pained
- rear-soreness
- buttocks ached
- posterior panged
- fanny harmed
But only a fucking faggot word would use any of those words because they just sound fucking gay, unlike "butthurt" which sounds totally fucking awesome.
Of course it's easy to beat such a wordfilter, even as simply as using fliptext.org to flip the letters 'nq' to appear as 'bu' and to place unused spoiler tags in the word, thus typing out 'butt[spoiler][/spoiler]hurt' with the flipped letters and spoiler tags still results in the user been able to make mods butthurt.
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A furry with butthurt (goatse?). -
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Butthurt, presumably after rape. -
Whilst butthurt is most commonly associated with either its metaphorical meaning, or taking it up the ass, this too will cause literal butthurt when you shit it out of your ass after having eaten it the night before. -
These also cause butthurt when you shit them out. -
Butthurt, moar or less. -
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Victim of butthurt. -
Subaru Sumeragi: possibly the most butthurt anime character evar. He's got so much to BAWWWWW about, it radiates over 9,000. -
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A guy gets very butthurt over a YouTube video. -
Pokemon's version -
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Attention! Butthurt zone. -
"Insults are not jokes" -
Case of butthurt -
Attention ! Americunt warzone.
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A victim of trolling after he realizes what is going on
