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Cash Master

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Cash master refers to a cringy escort service on the internet that consists of young men showing their feet to other men and demanding payment for it. Those who decide to work this "job" are mainly closeted jocks who are too lazy to find a real job and teenagers funding their drug habits. Ironically, these young men refer to themselves as "straight, alpha males" while intentionally advertising their fetish to submissive homosexuals and knowingly getting them off in the process.

A cash master is therefore a gay escort, and think of how great this job title would look on any resume or tax return.

No Content = PROFIT

We've all wound up on the dark side of YouTube before... One minute you're watching an anime Donald Trump video, and the next thing you know, you're watching some dude take his shoes off and wiggle his toes around on a cheap webcam. For some reason, the latter video has almost as many (if not more) views and likes than the former, along with a fuck-ton of supportive, creepy comments on it. The uploader also has a PayPal account linked in the description, and asks, or demands, rather, that viewers send money to it immediately.



Congratulations, you've just stumbled upon a cash master. The lame name says it all: Master, of course, references BDSM, where the "master" seeks out sissy slaves to service his feet on the internet. Some of these videos will include edgy verbal insults as well, ironically calling the viewer a faggot, a slave, or a foot bitch etc, all while knowingly arousing a gay man to the point of ejaculation just so they can pay their rent without actually working.

For some reason, YouTube allows channels like this to exist, despite stating in its terms of service that sexual fetish/humiliation videos are a no-no.



The above video is ONE HOUR of autistic foot-waving and toe-wiggling by a loser in his 20's calling himself Master Kyle. Kyle is a pothead with a dream: a dream to never have to leave his house, ever, except to skate and get more weed. The only way Kyle's wish can come true is if you donate to his cause, because there aren't starving children around the world or anything who need your money more than he does.

Cash Rape

Cash masters also have something they call "cash rape" sessions, where they wave their feet around live on Skype for gay men to jerk off to. The cash master tries to be tough and proud despite knowing that they basically just gave another dude a virtual footjob, then moves on to the next man.

Poses and Lore

 
Cross those ankles, Morpheus, or you'll never make this month's rent.

Cash masters have their own poses and body language that they use to send a signal to submissive homosexuals around the world which causes them to send them money so they can beat off to their crusty feet. They'll place their feet up on a table with their ankles crossed, wave their middle fingers around, hold money up to the camera, smoke cigarettes, and call the viewer derogatory names until the viewer lets them know that they successfully blew a load all over their keyboard. This ankle-crossed, middle-fingered image has become cemented as the cash master pose, just as the rainbow became the symbol for homosexuality.


So here's a recap, and how YOU can become a cash master and earn easy money from your very home!

  • Bare feet propped with ankles crossed. Callouses and warts are okay, in fact with some, they're preferred.
  • Smoke cigarettes. Call the viewer a faggot whenever you're not inhaling.
  • Flip the bird. Fuck it, flip both of them.
  • Wave money around. Doesn't matter if it's a wad of ones, just wave it.
  • If you have a hairy chest, go shirtless. If not, wear a shirt with dollar signs or pot leaves on it.


And don't forget the final, and most important step of them all: swallow your pride. You're a straight, alpha male, after all, so just pretend the gay old sissies you're jerking off with your feet are big-breasted women holding pitchers of beer. You know, the things you can't actually get, which is why you're doing this type of shit instead.

Teenage Drug Funding

Teens are known to have bad habits. Even though it's 2017, some people still smoke cigarettes, and those cost more than ever. So does weed, or dab, or whatever the kids are calling it these days, and even more expensive are the more harder drugs out there that teenagers experiment with and get hooked on.

So what do you do if your allowance isn't enough, and you're too strung out to hold a real job? Kick off your shoes and wave your feet around for fat, middle-aged men on the internet, and watch your dope pile grow.

Alpha Corey

 
This is what he does for a living.

Corey Stephens of Michigan, or Alpha Corey as he calls himself, is a poster child for teenage failures. At 18 years old, he's one of the most infamous and youngest-looking cash masters on the internet getting grandpa off by showing off his filthy feet. Corey is very open about why he does this for a living, if you can even call it that — he has a one-year-old son with his girlfriend and needs to buy diapers and baby food.

Corey uses his girlfriend's email addresses to advertise his feet to these old men, and he meets them at local hotels and gives them footjobs while spitting on them, because he's such an alpha male. Let's just assume that Corey isn't sick enough to have old men over at the residence he shares with his girlfriend and baby boy, for their sake. But that baby is going to grow up one day, and when he does, he's gonna realize what a pathetic faggot his daddy is, and who knows what he'll do next.

What really makes Corey the poster child of gay foot escorts, however, is the obvious fact that he's hooked on hard drugs, as evidenced in some of his "master" photos. Step right up and see for yourself the glazed eyes and skeletal structure of a young meth head and pill popper who's affording drugs with his feet and the semen of countless older men!



It must take a lot of energy to be so strung out and look so tough while knowing that a bunch of guys are jerking off to what you're doing. Many nights are likely spent crying into his pillow, which will likely be his son's future as well. The worst thing Corey is doing is dooming his son's life, because kids who grow up around shit like this always turn out screwed up, and some even commit suicide.

See Also

External Links


 

Cash Master is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

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Cash Master is part of a series on

Sex

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  Cash Master is part of a series on Tumblr.



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Cash Master is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal