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Dashcon
Dashcon, originally "Tumbl-Con" before tumblr staff wanted jack shit to do with this impending train wreck, was a weeaboo convention created by tumblr users for tumblr users. Heavily criticized from the get go, it did not disappoint anyone with its sad, stupid, continuing failure.
Humblr Beginnings
It started as an Indiegogo where children pledged their allowance money to internet strangers. Reward tiers ranged from "donate $5 and get nothing" directly to "donate $100 and we'll put your name on a gold star and give you some tea". (Tea is symbolic to tumblr in that drinking it makes you not like other girls.) For $500 "admins will love you forever" and they will buy you some hand made trash from etsy.
The Indiegogo campaign ended without meeting its goal on March 14, 2013 and the con began July 11, 2014. This gave its staff 484 days to ignore the financial hint and march right on to fuck everything up. Registration for the con began months in advance and cost a hefty $65 for one full weekend badge. Attendees were expected to pay another $15 to meet the cast of Welcome to Night Vale for a live version of this podcast radio show and an additional $5 for a ticket to see Steam Powered Giraffe. It took most attendees 4 weeks of chores to make that $85. Unfortunately in January Steam Powered Giraffe dropped from the con.
Following suit with SPG, panelists for amazing panels such as "British Men with… CHEEKBONES" and "You’re Demon Hunting In… Stilettos?" dropped out of the con. The 17-year-old admin of the con's official tumblr called to its guests asking them to fill the positions. You know, whoever feels up for it. Go at it. Fortunately it seemed quality panels such as "Mental Health Support" and "Period Dance" survived.
The con recruited "committees" representing different fandoms to raise money for expenses by asking popular artists to create and auction off fanworks and donate the profit to Dashcon. These committees were run by teenagers and were expected to raise $5,000 each. Mods appointed to run each committee were either unaware of their duties or ignored the people working under them entirely.
Some whackass "art director" took command of the committees and wasted everyone's time and efforts on their own idiot side project called "Tumblr University". This director acted like an asshole and tried to divert funds to their own project before getting shut the fuck down by Dashcon admins.
These committees were derailed by side projects, ignored by their leaders, and in the end dissolved into nothing. Yet the con continued to brew.
It Begins
Here is the actual programming schedule for Dashcon.
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Friday -
Saturday -
Sunday
Friday
Day one of the con seemed to start out okay. Despite expecting a 5,000-7,000 turnout for its first occurrence, attendance seemed to be around 500. There may have been about 1,000 people if you counted hotel staff. But crowds are triggering so this wasn't too bad. People attended "Youtube Livestreams" and "Depression and Anxiety Tools and Support" until around 9pm when Dashcon staff rounded everyone up into a big room and told them if they didn't get another $17,000 in one hour the mean hotel people were going to kick them out on the streets.
Everyone started to cry.
Staff shook down attendees for donations and posted a donate link on their official tumblr and twitter. A member of con staff tweeted a picture of herself crying to show how super serious things were. This gave word to tumblr that this shitty con had no money and suspicions arose about the staff's competence and intentions with Dashcon. Rather than admitting this money was a matter of payment for debts owed, Dashcon staff stated that the hotel was simply demanding more money because they didn't like tumblr people and that they had a verbal contract with the hotel that payment was to occur after the con. Because that's apparently how business works. Attendees believed Dashcon staff and began to treat hotel staff very rudely as if they were persecuting them for being members of tumblr. They stayed grouped in this room singing Queen songs and tracks from Miserables very disruptively in protest to their oppression. They tweeted at Misha Collins, Benedict Cumberbatch, and other grown ass men they had previously drawn in pornographic fanart to get the word out that someone needed to give them $17,000 to continue this massive weekend babysitting effort. An hour later the donation links were deleted from Dashcon's tumblr and Dashcon staff somehow found the money they needed to pay their venue for the service it was providing.
—Some 14 year old who secretly thinks Anonymous is cool | ||
An hour after this activist protest Dashcon deleted the donation request post and pretended everything was going to be okay. Attendees of dashcon threw bitchfits on their/xir blogs when people with common sense called the con a scam, apparently unaware that the two are synonymous. They "called out" the "haters" by posting pictures of themselves having fun in poorly constructed costumes and covered in gray face paint for no apparent reason. Tumblr as well at those catty cunts in /cgl/ responded by reposing, editing, and shit-talking these pictures to no end. Who saw that coming? Later that night there was trouble as underage attendees were allowed into the "BDSM 101" panel as well as other 18+ panels. Some believe this was because no one attending was over the age of 18 at all.
Saturday
Embarrassing panels and cosplays aside, attendees continued about their con. Many were excited that Cecil Baldwin and other members of the Welcome to Night Vale cast were going to perform a live radio show for their entertainment. Those attendees waited in line for over an hour to get their seats and taunted their online haters about being minutes away from meeting their internet idols. This was only until Dashcon staff told them all that the show was canceled. They did not have money to pay the WTNV cast. Well they HAD the money, stupid Paypal was just malfunctioning so they couldn't give any money! Gosh darn it Paypal! It is all your fault! After providing their own travel expenses and being told there would be no financial compensation for performing at the con WTNV cast walked. They shopped around the Artist Alley and then left the con.
Everyone cried again.
Dashcon staff did they best they could to apologize for this mistake that was blatantly the fault of Paypal. They showed WTNV performers their Paypal account on their phone! That proved they were legit! To apologize to attendees they allowed all members of the showing an hour of free play in a fucking ball pit and bouncy house they had erected in a room almost as sad and gray as the Homestuck cosplayers sitting crotch deep in its dirty plastic balls.
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This image looks like how growing up feels. -
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WTNV were not the only people stiffed at the con. Artist Gingerhaze was told that her room would be comped by the con and it wasn't until her arrival that she realized this was not true. She moderated a panel she was only supposed to attend after the original moderater never showed up. By 6pm after witnessing how bullshit this place was she left. She tried guys.
Sunday
Sunday has not even happened yet. Predictions so far:
—/cgl/ | ||
Illegal Activity
As with most shitstorms the more that goes down the more people dig up. The galaxy pattern banner used on Dashcon.org was taken from a galaxy themed artist and repeated to disguise the original piece of art. DashCon is also reportedly screening Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog despite not being legally able to attain the rights. This brought up questions about whether or not they had legal permission to screen Pacific Rim either. Also, for whatever reason DashCon felt the need to advertize on their blog that they are partnered with Random Acts, a nonprofit organization dedicated to creating fundraisers and spreading kindness. Upon inquiry, Random Acts said it has never made any partnership with Dashcon.
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Top, DashCon banner. Bottom, original art. -
What a HORRIBLE fucking plan. -
Attaching yourself to kind people in an attempt to look kind.
Aftermath
It seems like absolutely no one has learned their lessons and DashCon 2015 is up for preregistration! See you there you fucking idiots!
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