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Martin Peyerl

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Martin Peyerl was some 16 year old kraut who tried to become Germany's version of Charles Whitman but ultimately failed

Martin Peyerl
Nationality: German  
Highscore Killed 4, injured 7
Top 25? No
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes


Background

So because we know little to jackshit about Martin, we are going to have to use information from Wikipedia. Martin was born on August 11th 1983 and lived with his parents and older sister in Bad(Ironic considering his score) Reichenhall, Germany, on some busy as fuck street. He was reported to be a gun nut, and a avid gun collector, and told classmates that he liked to go into the forest and shoot the fuck out of birds, and also practiced shooting guns in his garage with daddy. The daddy-O in question, Rudolph, was in the army for 12 years and he was also a batshit insane gun enthusiast. But he was also frequently fired from jobs and was also a drunk and probably abused the shit out of Martin, possibly having an impact on his mental health. A few months before Martin's chimpout, he was suspended for having Nazi photos in his notebook, what an edgelord. He also reportedly said to a classmate "completely crazy what these guys have done" referencing to the Columbine gay lovers, and that was "something we should do". Classmates at der schule also said he was an outsider, and a bit of a loser.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Ruger Mini-14
 
  • A decent rifle that can do a moderate amount of damage. 14~31 Damage
  • Secondary: Unspecified Henry lever action rifle
  • Probably old as fuck so it probably didn't do a whole lot of damage 13~21 Damage
  • Secondary 2: Unspecified shotgun
 
  • Must have been powerful as fuck considering it killed him. 50~100 Damage
  • Side Arm: Colt Python
 
  • A good revolver that usually deals a great amount of damage. 26~45 Damage
  • Perk 1: Ghost Pro
 
  • Invisible against Spy Planes.

The Lulzfest

On November 1 1999, not even a full year after Columbine, our hero's parents went to go pay one of his grandparents a vist, who was actually 6 feet underground, on All Saints Day. Using this as a opportunity to break into his kraut daddy's gun convenient which was filled with moar then 10 guns, only grabbing 4 of themAnd then positioning himself in his bedroom and pointing out the Mini-14 outside his window and start his attempt to get the high score. Lil'Marty first killed his 2 neighbors, then shooting and killing a hospital patient across the street who went outside to take a smoke. He then shot at anything that moved, injuring 7,including actor Günter Lamprecht! However, whilst he was still in the middle of attempting to achieve the high score, Martin's sister, who was a nanny at the hospital, came home and tried to stop our hero from beating Eric and Dylan/Charles Whitman. Forensic evidence suggested that there was a struggle of some sort between the two, that Martin's sister tried wrestling away the gun from him, but our hero stops her, and shoots her 5 times, killing her. He then shoots the family cat, the absolute madman! Once the carnage is over, our hero realizes he will never get the high score and will never be half the man Charles Whitman was. Martin then got into a bathtub and shot himself.

Aftermath

Police stormed the house at about 6 PM, finding both the bodies of Martin and his sister, and the family cat :( They found a swastika painted above martins bed and a portrait of Hitler in his sisters room After the shooting, politicians called for a legislation/change in gun laws, but of course, shit didn't change. Nobody knew why he committed the shooting but some thought he was inspired by Columbine, but he made no videos or journal entries like the lolumbiner's. Police also found a number of violent videos, video games, and CDs in his room but no connection between those and the shooting was made. In the end, investigators believed it was somehow connected to Martin's personality, c'mon the dude was a batshit insane gun nut Columbiner what did u excpect?

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 4/20 7 injured
Accuracy: 11/20 Probably couldn't aim for shit which explains his kill/injury count
Style: 20/20 Camper
Butthurt: 5/20 Did call for changes in gun laws but nothing was done, plus was mostly forgotten
Bonus: 20/20 Bonus for shooting a celebrity!
Total score: 60/100 (D-)
You should have taken lessons from Eric Borel
See full ranking

Wanted Level:
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Vice Squad


See Also

 
Martin Peyerl is part of a series on:
WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE?

Other pages that shouldn't exist:

Amiibo - Bacon and Eggs - Bad Article - BAHDUM TISH - BITCH WHAT THE FUCK - Blank Article - Boo - Booger - Chair - Chan Ho Park - Carmencurbstomp - Crossfire (board game) - DMV - Everywhere at the End of Time - Flags - Fourth wall - Fuck What You Heard - Gallium - GOTTA GO FAST - Green Onions - Ham - Hobosexual - Honey Bunches of Oats - Horizontal lines - I a£ so drink eight now - IRL Groyper - James Bond - Jar Jar Binks - Korean cry - Lawnmower - Lead - Lodizal - MAO - Nick Offerman - Nigero - Nigger Kike Jew Jar - Nostradamus - Nuoh my god - Operation Madeupname - PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP - Parakeets - Pony - Ror - Server Maintenance - Sex Panther - Space - STOFlames - Take the meat bridge - Tele-marketers - The Warriors - Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - Unidentified Rodian with jacket - WHERE IS THE ARTICLE? - WHO AM ARTICLE? - WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE? - WHY IS THEY AN SYSOPS? - Wunderground


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