SCP Foundation

First recorded instance of SCP.

Item #: SCP Foundation

Object Class: Dogshit

Special Containment Procedures: Under no circumstances should any person enter the SCP Foundation Wiki. Any individual exposed to the SCP Foundation Wiki must immediately report to Dr. M██████ for compulsory medical evaluation. Cyanide pills will be issued on a case-by-case basis. In the case an SCP wiki member exhibits signs of self-awareness and/or creative thinking, Mobile Task Force Beta-137 ("Glue Sniffers") operatives are to be dispatched to user's location. The use of elevated force and high-impact banhammers is authorized.

Discovery Log: First SCP sighting was reported on the /x/ imageboard of 4chan, dated to ██/██/2007. This original instance (designated SCP-173) was quickly followed by many other copycat pastas, utilizing the same clinical language and post format to describe common creepypasta tropes.

Description: The SCP Foundation Wiki is a website dedicated to the preservation and cataloguing of the numerous SCP copypastas that proliferated throughout /x/ and other miscellaneous internet forums beginning in 2007. SCP articles are short fiction works describing anomalous items housed by a shadowy world-spanning organization known as the SCP Foundation. SCP stands for either "Special Containment Procedures" or "Secure, Contain, Protect", depending on the mental faculties of the person being asked. From a very early stage the SCP wiki encouraged its users to contribute their own SCP articles to the site. This had had a detrimental effect on the overall quality of website, as most SCP wiki users evidently lack the writing ability necessary to create worthwhile original content.

The SCP wiki is under the management of an elitist council of left-wing LGBTQA+ staff members who maintain a strict policy of politically motivated gatekeeping. Theoretically, in order to write for the SCP wiki, an applicant must demonstrate adequate grammatical skills and a level of maturity greater than the typical fifteen-year-old. However, empirical observations have shown these requirements are rarely met, contributing to the sad state of the site.

Despite its noted lack of quality, as of 202█ the SCP wiki continues to chug along, shitting out █████████ ███████ at an alarming pace. The highest rated articles remain the few good ones written by anonymous 4chan users and early goon adopters. Most other notable articles invariably describe ████ monsters that have accumulated upvotes over the years by appealing to goth middleschoolers. As the sheer quantity of SCP articles increases, newer stories can only gain notoriety by employing unnecessary gimmicks that mess with the site's format.

Overview

The logo of the SCP Foundation. The inward-pointing arrows are meant to represent the Foundation's goal of containment, but people just say that it looks like a vagina.

Articles on the SCP wiki fall into two categories:

• SCPs - Pseudo-scientific dossiers of supernatural objects and phenomena. SCP articles consist of an object class, a description of an unoriginal horror concept, and the Special Containment Procedures, i.e. the several metric tons of lead, concrete, steel, black magic, nigras, proxies and magnets required to contain the AIDS.
• Tales - Unnecessarily capitalized term for a story. These include everything that isn't an SCP, and every single one is shit. Tales usually deal with the grand adventures and existential conflicts of the people living in the SCP universe. Other common Tale genres include apocalyptic events written in a style overflowing with purple prose, sentient SCP objects wishing they weren't forced to live in a box, and totally canon gay sex between two prominent and overused staff author avatars.

The SCP authors are very arrogant, talking endlessly about their "high standards". In order to write on their wiki, you have to fill out a fucking application form (no joke), respect stupidly complex sets of guidelines, gain the approval of at least two mouthbreathers for your concept, and have your draft scrutinized by IRC walruses who will criticize it for not specifying the exact number of hairs on the entity's butt. This stringent process is counterproductive at best to actual quality control, as elaborate purple prose and unfunny meme articles easily go through while actually decent contenders are rejected for being too short or too insensitive.

SCP wiki users are so full of themselves they even have a fucking historian history major dropout whose job is to document the Foundation's story from an IRL perspective.

Despite their unwarranted self-importance, the website's users are very easy to please with even the cheapest gimmicks and most asinine ideas, just as long as you cater to their pop-culture tastes and political sensibilities. One of the most highly rated articles can be summed up as "I'm writing an article with images, look how clever I am!" (SCP-2521). Other notable examples of the wiki's "high standards" are articles based around Minecraft (SCP-4335), Among Us (SCP-5167), Vtubers (SCP-6777) and Donald Trump (SCP-5004).

Content

“	My SCP is the Omega death killer, it's even got a new classification its so powerful bro. Here's a 90 page essay that covers next to nothing about it. Containment? Pffft good luck. More about it? Uuuuuh Here's a page of black lines cause it's redacted. No, I didn't copy SCP-████ but give it acid blood.	„
—SCP Wiki user

As the original userbase was gradually replaced by self-important would-be novelists and fanfic writers, the focus of the website shifted from horror and weirdness to memes and melodrama. Tales, which are universally derided for being boring self-inserts and semi-erotic fantasies, now make up a majority of new content. New SCPs all fall into one of five categories:

• Absolutely inane concept that could have been better served if it were written as a regular copypasta (or not written at all).
• Meme, video game or social media shit.
• Gimmick that fucks with the site's layout and format.
• 50,000+ wordcount short story horrendously overwritten for what is essentially a very simple concept.
• Super-special ultra-cool top-sicret Mary Sue powercreep bullshit that utterly breaks the lore.

That is, of course, discounting the absolute crapflood of broken English entries written by illiterate 12 year olds. Those thankfully end up deleted, eventually.

SCP writers regularly use grandiosity to compensate for a lack of creativity. Old SCPs tended to be a single weird object or creature. New entries now trend towards always being colossal world-ending apocalyptic monstrosities, massive alternative realities (complete with 500 pages of exploration logs), or entire advanced civilizations erased from history. This propensity to overwrite is reflected in the increasingly elaborate use of images, sound files, alternative stylesheets, unnecessary object classes, etc. While SCP users insist this trend indicates a rise in overall site quality, outside observers easily recognize it as a shiny coat of paint smeared over a pile of shit.

Satellite ███████

Typical fanart produced by young DeviantArt kids and/or Tumblrinas.

Though the userbase of main wiki can be laughable at times, it is mostly made up of people who can actually spell (as opposed to the drooling neanderthals of the Creepypasta wiki). However, many SCP fans are 16 year old girls who fail to pass even the rudimentary literacy tests put up by the wiki staff. Unable to cement their smutty fanfiction as official canon on the SCP wiki, these greasy hamplanets have been resigned to squirt their godawful ideas onto Tumblr and DeviantArt.

This satellite community of those too stupid even for the SCP wiki has been allowed to fester into an uncontrolled infestation of pure cringe. The main source of FAIL is of course the rule-██ material, which manifests as some of the most awkward gay erotica ever put into writing, as well as inexplicable depictions of Lovecraftian monstrosities performing fellatio.

To add to the already dismal state of the fandom, SCP has inspired a plethora of half-baked video games and mods played almost exclusively by underage Slavs. The most famous of these is SCP Containment Breach, a game so boring and terrible it is despised even by most SCP wiki users.

Demographics

The staff of the SCP wiki are tasked with maintaining order on the site, which can range from simple, normal tasks such as forum moderation to complete overreaction and abuse of power, sometimes in the false name of some greater societal goal. An example of this occurring on the wiki's forums would play out as follows:

Normal user: The sky is blue

Staff member: STAFF POST - CLOSED

or, alternatively:

Normal user: The sky is blue

Staff member: This behavior is unacceptable. Please read over the forum guidelines and the Guide to Newbies again, or disciplinary action will be taken.

Another common trend on the SCP wiki is to pretend to be cold, calculating, and logical in a manner similar to the people of the wiki's fictional counterpart, but then proceed to drastically overreact to everything, such as in the example below:

Normal user: The sky is blue

Staff member: As a general rule, it's important to remember how what you're saying might be interpreted by your peers, even if you don't intend anything negative. I got a PM from a concerned user - they found your post extremely triggering. Please be more considerate when stating your opinion on the color of the sky in future cases.

An important aspect of both the fictional and factual versions of the SCP Foundation is the popular saying "The Foundation is cold, not cruel." This saying is often thrown around the staff site's forums when staff members want to assure themselves that ████████ someone "because they're ██████████" is perfectly acceptable; likewise, it is also thrown around office rooms and containment chambers in Sites when employees want to assure themselves that putting a human being in a █████ cell because they have magical powers is perfectly acceptable, and obviously for the greater good. Though this catchphrase is somewhat limited, its cultural following is not. When a user of the wiki becomes perplexed by the aforementioned ever-growing liberal bias within the staff regime, said user must remind themselves that partakers in a culture supporting and glorifying moral ambiguity, excessive regulation, and oligarchical leadership with little concern for personal freedom will invariably lean towards the political left.

In other words - The staff are a bunch of losers ████ing as the in-universe high committee of the evil organization that all the stories are about and have been doing it for so long it's actually gone to their heads. So now regular staff behaviour includes pathetic attempts at acting edgy and abusing power, which with their slow creep towards far left beliefs makes the site increasingly resemble a socialist dictatorship.

████ faggotry

SCP Foundation went rainbow

Srsly.

As mentioned before, the SCP wiki has become a SJW hideout. You can find stuff like members being triggered by a doorknob being called sexy. Or some idioms like "intersex, ██████████, and nonbinary personnel are prohibited from working with, handling, or approaching SCP-847", in an article which was rewritten for being too sexist (just read its discussion page). They also managed to have an horribly cringy "tale" starring a transfag.

Thing is, it's not only about some shitty stories, it's also about censorship. Article guidelines now basically forbids bringing up ██████████, as it is triggering. Yes, on a fucking horror writing website, some shit gets ██████████ because it's triggering. Previous articles which mentioned rape were re-written, like SCP-847, or SCP-835, which was purged by its own author of any mention of ██████████, and even SCP-231, one of the most famous SCPs, in which a loli needs to be constantly raped otherwise it would be the end of the world.

Heritage Collection

There is a section on their wiki about a so-called "Heritage Collection"; it's supposed to contain the best articles of the old days, the stuff people should read and get inspiration from if they want to write some SCPs. In reality, it only contains 3 good stories that were lifted from ██████████ and the rest is uninspired shit with moronic self insert Mary Sues.

• SCP-055 [unknown]: Something no one can remember, both in universe and ███ █████ ████, probably because, just like every other high ranking article on the site, it's a forgettable, overused gimmick.
• SCP-076 Able: An animu-like ████ ███ with a big sword. Pure teenage power fantasy.
• SCP-087 The Stairwell: It's an underground dark stairwell with something inside that wants to eat you or something and is an obvious knockoff of House of Leaves. One of the only three good stories, all 3 of which were copied from x where the site originated. It's telling that it's two of these 3 stories that ended up being made into games (the third one can't be because it's about loli rape), while everything written by the actual site's army of troglodytes languishes in obscurity.
• SCP-093 Red Sea Object: A short, boring story about a rock that rolls over and rests on mirrors. It was later supplemented with an additional 6 or so articles that branch out into an expanded plot. A plot that is shit because the incompetent writers forgot about 90% of the original story's plot elements so half the chapters end up never making sense, and one contains an extended sequence written entirely in leetspeek.
• SCP-173 The Sculpture: The original 4chan story that spiralled out of control and became this turd of a website. Inspired an entire series of games and probably the Weeping Angels from Dr. Who. The rest of the site leeches off of this thing's popularity to this day, despite never writing anything anywhere near as good and not housing a userbase that would shit itself over being triggered if they ever visited 4chan's shrivelled husk.
• SCP-231 Special Personnel Requirements: The infamous loli rape story that they covered with so many ██████████ pretending to be an addition of artistic flair while in reality shielding the weepy cunts on the site from things they don't like. It has become unreadable if you don't already have prior knowledge of what it's about. In the tutorial section of the site, multiple hacks who can never hope to write anything as good as the untainted original now pretend this was all intentionally done to make the story more scary.
• SCP-239 The Witch Child: A reality bending ████ who is unstoppable. Obvious rip-off of the most famous episode of The Twilight Zone without any of the things that made it good.
• SCP-343 "God": It's about a friendly guy who lives in their facilities because he feels like it and may or may not (but obviously is because this site has no constant canon) be god. Not scary, not clever, not original.
• SCP-500 Panacea: Pills which cures everything. This article isn't scary and has no point.
• SCP-682 Hard-to-Destroy Reptile: A stupidly immortal lizard that talks like an ███████ villain and wants to kill all humans. Poses no threat because it can only kill them one by one and is easily contained even though they are constantly trying to kill it despite never doing it with any other SCP. Part of the never ending circle jerk of bad writers who used to write like a 13 year old's first DBZ ████████████ while involving one another's recolors in each other stories and still taint the site to this day because they were upvoted by every other prepubescent mongoloid. It's telling that their own parody of it is better than the original article.
• SCP-701 The Hanged King's Tragedy: Thank God they strictly forbid plagiarism in the rules, otherwise some SCPs might just be blatant ripoffs of other, infinitely more popular things. Like the King in Yellow, for example.
• SCP-882 A Machine: Another story that makes no sense about something that poses no threat and has been elevated to legend status by virtue of a decade of upvotes from people who have no standards to the point it was so highly rated even people who can tell its shit dare not speak out.
• SCP-914 The Clockworks: It takes things and makes them better. Except for the average SCP author's writing skill, because you can't polish a turd.
• SCP-953 polymorphic humanoid: weebshit foxgirl waifu, written by some weeb with a kitsune fetish, she has an addiction to human livers. Fortunately she killed 27 furries and ate there livers.
• SCP-963 Immortality: Mary Sue author-avatar in another not-scary story on a horror story wiki that probably only got upvoted because it's about an in-joke meme character and uses a picture that the author took of his autistic, home-made replica of the site's logo. Pathetic.

Groups of Interest

There are other groups in the same universe as the Foundation. Or rather, shitty excuses for groups. Most of them are boring as fuck, and nobody cares about them because of that.

• The Global Occult Coalition: Aka the DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY guys. Also the name of a spinoff site.
• Chaos Insurgency: Cartoony villains with no originality whatsoever.
• Church of Broken God: Scientology WITH GEARS; one of the few actually interesting groups.
• Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.: Jews who buy weird shit.
• The Serpent's Hand: Basically ██████, only more SJW.
• Are We Cool Yet?: Paranormal version of Improv Everywhere
• Sarkic Cult: Yet another Cthulhu cult ripoff; still one of the best groups of interest.

OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SCP FANFICTION BASED ON YOU █████ ROLE PLAYING ON THE IRC!!! WHY IS THIS █████ ON THE SITE?! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HORROR STORY WIKI!!!

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