Blindmute Loli: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 13:13, 17 July 2017

Warning!
This article and its respective subpages may leave you wanting to adopt a blindmute loli. Note that you may not be suitable to do so and that you should leave blindmute loli adoption to the professionals.

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT JAKE ACTUALLY MANAGES TO ADOPT ERIKA AND RESISTS THE URGE TO RAPE HER!!!1

Blindmute Loli is a story about a guy who runs into a blind, mute runaway orphan and the hardships he goes through in his life. The authenticity of this story is impossible to know, but read it yourself and you'll see why it has a devoted following.

Summary

WRITE YOUR OWN SUMMARY DAMNIT!

Characters

Main Cast	Secondary Cast	The Wall Familiy	Melinda's Family	Jake's Familiy	Erika's Familiy	LOLWUT Cast
[-WTF? WHO ELSE MATTERS??]	[WHO?+]	[WHITE PEOPLE!+]	[REDNECKS I RECKON!+]	[LOL BANNED+]	[LOL DEAD+]	[WTF??? YOU HIGH?+]

Main Cast

Secondary Cast

Megan - Her slutty behavior posed Jake with his ultimate dilemma: Jailbait Secks or Loli Adoption? That is the question!
Landlord - Husband of Cheryl. Responsible for 9/11. Also the first funeral Erika attended was his (I GUESS HAVING YOUR MUM DIE GRUESOME DEATH DOESN'T COUNT, AMIRITE?!). And yes dumbass, he's dead. A cookie for you.
Boss - Known only for dealing fairly with Jake and Megan's ~~relationship~~ SECKS PARTEE!
Cheryl - Mary Sue of this whole story. She had style, looks, a jewish husband (on whose grave she got to dance) and cancer. What more could someone ask from life?
Gloria - A "Do not feed patients!" sign around her neck would be appropriate.
Ryan - A challenger appears! When Jake, due to his tardy ways almost lost Erika's custody, Rya was here to take his place. And instead of loli huggings and alike he presented Erika with regular beatings. Also has a girlfriend who also occasionally falls over. Bitchez... what can you do?
Mark - Sharon's MAN! Likes to make fun of blindmute lolis and blindmute loli guys. Also has a crazy ass mom.

The Wall Family

James Wall - Also known as Jimaroonie and later on as The Procrastinator. Made beibiez with Sharon (oh noes!)
Cynthia - Business oriented wymyn. And, of course, as such she is strong, independent and being cheated on.
Eric - Where do we begin? A pedophile, a feet fetishist (hence the link next to his name, dummy), a white privileged middle class teenager and worst of all: A FUCKING EMO!
Melanie - Aged 12 and horny for some protagonist meat.
Amelia - Just your generic loli. You'll see a lot of those here. Not to be confuzeled with Jake's sister.

Melinda's Family

	“	Now in Ohio you can run into some pretty southerny people, but these were authentic church every Sunday the Civil War isn't over southerners.	„
	—Any more "southerny" and they'd be eating penguins.

Melinda's Dad - REDNECK REDNECK REDNECK REDNECK REDNECK REDNECK
Melinda's Mom - DEAD DEAD LOL AWKWARD DEAD DEAD
Melinda's Sister - FAT FAT JESUS FAT FAT FAT
Melinda's Niece (haz a name) - I WET MAH PANTS! (also fierce loli rivalry)
Assorted bastard offspring that came out of the cuntdumpster that is Melinda's sister

Jake's Family

Jake's Parents - Despite having an ED, they managed to bring three children into this world, with a 1/2 ratio of being successful/reatard (close, but no cigar). Also their view on solving problems with their children is kicking them out of the house.
Amelia - Like Opera users she is a scoffing, condescending wymyn with an Internet Degree. "The success of the family" (sorry, blindmute loli raep not included =3). Not to be confused with... who was it again?
Emily - Because of her, Jake will never become a president. =(

Erika's Family

	“	Do you think daddy is a bad person? You know it wouldn't have happened if mommy didn't make daddy mad.	„
	—The Benevolent Patriarch

Erika's Mom - She made daddy mad. Nuff said.
Erika's Dad - Kinda like Chris Brown, except he is into IRL perma-banning and, surprisingly, not a black person. Probably azn though, so there you go. Oh, those silly gooks!
Erika's Sister - She was mentioned only once. She was even lolier than Erika before her untimely death, allegedly in an accident.

LOLWUT Cast

Kaji - A morbidly obese dog named after an Evangelion character. Also like taking "green sickly looking shit". We shit you not.
Senor - When buying a dildo for your girlfriend, what do you do? That's right, you're a smart nigger and you buy a fleshlight. That's called thinking ahead, kidz!
The Lamp - The promoter of drama, the bringer of lulz, this single object helped our uncanny protagonist screw his life in the most various of ways.
Mark's Mother - A lulzy drama-generating old person.
Bill Cosby Double - A black dude who was later revealed to have almost been the one to help Erika. He is a black person. Being paired up with objects, the barely living and animals doesn't really help either. Also NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

Story

The story is divided into chapters by months, so that your ghetto modem could handle this and that you wouldn't suffocate from all the win at once (and what a great loss to this site it would be) and also because this shit was lazily ripped from Shii's site word by word.

June 2007 - What is a man? Our protagonists meets loli, feeds her pizza, buys her clothes, almost gets laid and commits murder. Ends with a cliffhanger (hint, hint: the murder part). Oh the suspense!
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
September 2008 - ~~Taking place several months after the last entry (March is not followed by September, dumbass) it gives conclusion to the story.~~ GET TO THE LOLI FAGGOT!!!

External Links

Blindmute Loli is part of a series on Wikichan

A Collection Of Incest Confessions • Blindmute Loli • Candlejack • Cheerios • Fukia Siking • ITT, we discuss the crazies we have met in our lifetime. • Insult my Wii • Jen • Navy boats • Nurse-kun • Pizza Delivery Guy • Roommate from Hell • Sadako • Shii • Showing /b/ to my sister • Skittles • The Weirding Way • The Well-Cultured Anonymous • Tito • WOMAN SUPER PUNCH OUT • Weirdest Bitch Ever

Blindmute Loli is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Blindmute Loli is part of a series on

Chans

Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

@@ Line 22: / Line 22: @@
 |LOLWUT Cast
 |-
-|'''<span class="co;[-];[WTF? WHO ELSE MATTERS??];1;main"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-main showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext">-</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">WTF? WHO ELSE MATTERS??</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[WHO?];[+];0;secn"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-secn showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">WHO?</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[WHITE PEOPLE!];[+];0;wall"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-wall showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">WHITE PEOPLE!</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[REDNECKS I RECKON!];[+];0;redn"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-redn showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">REDNECKS I RECKON!</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[LOL BANNED];[+];0;jake"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-jake showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">LOL BANNED</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[LOL DEAD];[+];0;loli"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-loli showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">LOL DEAD</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
-|'''<span class="co;[WTF??? YOU HIGH?];[+];0;lulz"></span>'''
+|'''<span class="collapsibletoggle">[<span class="mw-customtoggle-lulz showhidetext"><span class="collapsibletoggletext hiddentext">WTF??? YOU HIGH?</span><span class="collapsibletoggletext">+</span></span>]</span>'''
 |}
-<div class="main">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-main" class="mw-collapsible">
 ===Main Cast===
 *[[Anon|Jake]]
@@ Line 39: / Line 39: @@
 *[[Bureaucratic Fuck|Sharon]]
 </div>
-<div class="secn">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-secn" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===Secondary Cast===
 *[[Jailbait|Megan]] - Her slutty behavior posed Jake with his ultimate dilemma: Jailbait Secks or Loli Adoption? That is the question!
@@ Line 49: / Line 49: @@
 *[[Douchebag|Mark]] - Sharon's MAN! Likes to make fun of blindmute lolis and blindmute loli guys. Also has a crazy ass mom.
 </div>
-<div class="wall">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-wall" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===The Wall Family===
 *[[White People: THE GREATEST PEOPLE IN THE PLANET|James Wall]] - Also known as Jimaroonie and later on as The Procrastinator. Made beibiez with Sharon (oh noes!)
@@ Line 57: / Line 57: @@
 *[[Loli|Amelia]] - Just your generic loli. You'll see a lot of those here. Not to be confuzeled with Jake's sister.
 </div>
-<div class="redn">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-redn" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===Melinda's Family===
 {{quote|Now in Ohio you can run into some pretty southerny people, but these were authentic church every Sunday the Civil War isn't over southerners.|[[Blindmute_Loli/December_2007#Thread 57 – Day 188|Any more "southerny" and they'd be eating penguins.]]}}
@@ Line 66: / Line 66: @@
 *[[Abortion|Assorted bastard offspring that came out of the cuntdumpster that is Melinda's sister]]
 </div>
-<div class="jake">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-jake" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===Jake's Family===
 *[[BitingBeaver|Jake's Parents]] - Despite having an ED, they managed to bring three children into this world, with a 1/2 ratio of being successful/reatard (close, but no cigar). Also their view on solving problems with their children is kicking them out of the house.
@@ Line 72: / Line 72: @@
 *[[Incest|Emily]] - Because of her, Jake will never become a president. =(
 </div>
-<div class="loli">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-loli" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===Erika's Family===
 {{quote|Do you think daddy is a bad person? You know it wouldn't have happened if mommy didn't make daddy mad.|[[Blindmute_Loli/December_2007#Post_3|The Benevolent Patriarch]]}}
@@ Line 79: / Line 79: @@
 *[[Loli|Erika's Sister]] - She was mentioned only [[Blindmute_Loli_(June_2007)#Post_3|once]]. She was even lolier than Erika before her untimely death, allegedly in an [[W|accident]].
 </div>
-<div class="lulz">
+<div id="mw-customcollapsible-lulz" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
 ===LOLWUT Cast===
 *[[Curtains|Kaji]] - A morbidly obese dog named after an Evangelion character. Also like taking "green sickly looking shit". [[Pun|We shit you not]].

Blindmute Loli: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 13:13, 17 July 2017

Contents

Summary