User:Schnookums

	“	Listen, and understand. That weasel is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, so long as there are edits to be made.	„

Article • Quote • Video • Picture

Sweep & Mop

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• New Pages
• Did You Know...

Main Page

Current Threat

Article of the Now

Ginger

Gingers, carrottops, rangas (orangutans), Duracells, raggedy andys/annes, freckle-faces, or the pc term, redheads are a pigment mutilated species formed from the peaks of incest over the centuries, causing distinguished flaming hair, and freezing skin; not unlike vampires, with a lack of soul, pain, and eyebrows (closely related to albinos). While some are lesser, and affected only in their hair. This satanic disease is known as, Gingervitis. While people inflicted with it are psychologically evil, everybody else is too. See feminism for more.

In the ages most societies fixed their retarded babies, within a brick filled sack in the nearest river. But currently the civilized West tries to integrate and accept those "less-abled", this has produced yet another flaming kick in the balls by Gingervitis. Thankfully, they are eventually to go extinct either way – and you can speed that up! See murder for more.

Jerhi-curl negro hair with a flaming red hue serves as a warning to everyone that the person inflicted with it is not to be trusted and should be avoided at all costs.

(( If You Get Bitten By One Today You'll Become A Drunk That Lives In A Cardboard House ))

What have I missed?	8chan 2 days ago	Philadelphia 4 days ago	Jon Schweppe 6 days ago

Video of the Now

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Picture of the Now

Quote of the Now

	“	He would drink by himself And raise a weathered thumb Towards the high shelf, Calling another rum And blackcurrant, without Having to raise his voice, Or order a quick stout By a lifting of the eyes And a discreet dumb-show Of pulling off the top; At closing time would go	„
	—Seamus Heaney: Casualty

Did You Know...

• ...That it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
• ...That some Loser with too much Money and not enough Brains actually paid $14.6 million for a 1969 Fender Stratocaster that was played by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour?
• ...Paul McCartney said that John Lennon's Japper wife, Yoko, called him shortly after Lennon was shot to Death to tell him that Lennon was a Butt Pirate?
• ...The Seahawks Beat The Patriots 29-13 at this year's Superbowl? We're always happy to see The Patriots lose
• ... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
• ... that another Valentine's Day has come and gone and you're still all alone? Are those voices in your head starting to become more persuasive?
• ... that Chuck E. Cheese (CEC Entertainment) CEO and President David McKillips resigned- most likely because his name was in the Epstein Files?
• ... that an AI animation named Amelia has become the waifu of every far-right user of the Internets? Sorry about the breakup, K-On! girls!
• ... that it's 2026? You get to make another New Year's Resolution promising that this is going to be the year that you get laid.

Current Threat

January

New Year's Day (1st) • Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (3rd Monday)

February

Valentine's Day (14th)

March

Saint Patrick's Day (17th) • World Bipolar Day (30th)

April

April Fools' Day (1st) • ED Rebirth Day (15th) • An Hero Day (20th) • 420 Day (20th)

May

Star Wars Day (4th) • Mother's Day (2nd Sunday) • World Goth Day (22nd)

June

Autistic Pride Day (18th) • Father's Day (3rd Sunday)

July

Independence Day (4th)

August

Friendship Day (4th) • Women's Equality Day (26th)

September

Labor Day (1st Monday) • 9/11 (11th) • International Talk Like a Pirate Day (19th)

October

World Animal Day (4th) • National Cat Day (29th) • Halloween (31th)

November

Veterans Day (11th) • OldDirtyBtard (17th) • Thanksgiving (4th Thursday)

December

World AIDS Day (1st) • Encyclopaedia Dramatica (10th) • Christmas Eve (24th) • Christmas Day (25th) • Kwanzaa (Dec 26th-Jan 1st) •

New Year's Eve (31st)

Copypasta

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Alamo

Kligzward • Honest Abe • Motor Oil • Annatar Scott • Sony Vegas • WikiShitizens

Adopted weasel

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Friendly observer

On the forums I am a neutral observer who is loved by all. I take great pride in what I do.

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  This happens when I am mistaken for a shitposter.
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  I work 14 hours a day. It isn't easy but I always smile.
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  Sometimes I take a break.
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Miscellaneous

	“	Some people think that WikiWeasels are very, very cute. They were introduced to New Zealand Encyclopedia Dramatica to hunt rabbits, and are widely believed to be a menace over there.	„
	—Wikipedia

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• File:Schnookums 10-4.png
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  My great-great-grandfather proudly defended the lulz.
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  Editing the wiki.
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  OMG

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  Summer
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  Winter
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  Now it's personal.
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  These berries... so delicious.
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  Go away.
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  It's on!
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You were a newb at some point.
So help others achieve greatness.

BMO is a fucking badass that will rape your shit right up.

This user believes ferrets are adorable!

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Good job with Lemonade Coyote, you actually have creativity and didn't create another generic furfag article! I award you with a catgirl!

SIEG HEIL BANN STAR! This user is a member of the Hitler ED Youth and an Aryan ED Superman fit for altar boy treatment via sysops. You can help by adhering to their every whim and desire and learning your place, you dirty Jew.

Schnookums is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

#MEEPCREW PRIDE WORLD WIDE :^) This user has proven their worth to ED under the guidance of the holy Pope Meepsheep and has been named an honorary member of the prestigious #Meepcrew. As a result, they will likely show excessive love for catgirls, admiration of Lil B, undying support of the black homosexual community, Adventure Time avocation, and rampant Pynchon fanboyism. Keep in mind they are your intellectual superior, but you can be this cool too someday! Please enable them with channel ops and powerful hallucinogens at all opportunities.

Schnookums is part of a series on ED Government

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