Sec Check

A "Sec Check" (security check) is a kind of interrogation that the big shots of a Scientology "org" will give to a person when there is a chance they may have been exposed to something that conflicts with official Scientology doctrine. This happens a lot, as the existence of everything else in the universe proves that Scientology is complete nonsense. For example, if a Scientologist reads a web site critical of the cult, and then reports this to the org (which they are required to do, and which they always do), the leaders will insist upon giving a sec check. The interrogations are grueling and silly. There are sec checks for all occasions, and there are especially harsh sec checks for children. Sometimes the interrogators will gang up on the victim, an event known as a "gang-bang sec check."

Here is an example of something called a "Whole Track Sec Check." As always, the victim is hooked up to the "e-meter" (a primitive fake lie detector) and interrogated for hours with the following insane questions.

E-meter

The iMeter

Always practice safe auditin'

oh god

YES YES OH GOD YES

The creamy results.

Where is my Drink ???, Garçon one Beer plz

Whole Track Sec Check

• Have you ever enslaved a population?
• Have you ever implanted anyone?
• Have you ever sacked a city?
• Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel?
• Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners?
• Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide?
• Have you ever annihilated a population?
• Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies?
• Have you ever strangled anyone?
• Have you ever deliberately spread disease?
• Have you ever degraded a religion?
• Have you ever raped a child of either sex?
• Have you ever warped an educational system?
• Have you ever deprived people of hope?
• Have you ever committed murder?
• Have you ever destroyed a culture?
• Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness?
• Have you ever stolen a body from another being?
• Have you ever destroyed an economy?
• Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts?
• Have you ever violated a nation's neutrality?
• Have you ever broken a treaty?
• Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation trick?
• Have you ever upset an ecology?
• Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs?
• Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade?
• Have you ever been a crook?
• Have you ever obliterated a language?
• Have you ever stamped out a religion?
• Have you ever deliberately trained people in untruths for power, or profit?
• Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects?
• Have you ever practiced terrorism?
• Have you ever done anything you would not like to think of yourself as having done?
• Have you ever been a coward?
• Have you ever trapped a thetan?
• Have you ever prided yourself on your wickedness?
• Have you ever destroyed artistic productions, or creations?
• Have you burned literature?
• Have you ever forbidden people to practice their own customs?
• Have you ever perverted a people's customs?
• Have you ever done anything which you hoped would be wiped out by the passage of time?
• Do you deserve to be punished into eternity for something you've done?
• If so, what is it?
• Have you ever exposed infants?
• Have you ever bred bodies for degrading purposes?
• Is there anything you would have done differently if you had had more data?
• Have you ever forced beings into unwanted bodies?
• Have you deliberately prevented beings from exteriorizing?
• Have you done anything to a person, group, or thing that wasn't deserved?
• Have you ever deserted a just cause?
• Have you ever debased a nation's currency?
• Have you ever deliberately tortured someone?
• Have you ever enslaved another being?
• Have you ever gained, or maintained, a position by portraying yourself as victimized?
• Have you ever undermined a people's trust?
• Have you driven anyone insane?
• Have you ever been a professional prostitute?
• Have you ever been a criminal?
• Have you ever trained people for criminal purposes?
• Have you ever been a pervert?
• Have you ever recruited anyone for an unworthy purpose?
• Have you ever traded in others' bodies for profit or power?
• Have you ever stolen a mock-up or facsimile?
• Have you ever usurped a location?
• Have you ever made things scarce so that you might profit unfairly?
• Have you ever made a practice of creating emergencies?
• Have you ever practiced human sacrifice?
• Have you ever assumed a beingness which was not rightfully yours?
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
• Have you ever punished an innocent person?
• Is anybody looking for you?
• Have you ever systematically degraded an individual, or population, or mock-up?
• Have you ever unlawfully, or unethically, deserted a post?
• Have you betrayed someone, or something, which deserved your help?
• Have you ever set a poor example?
• Have you ever perverted the institutions of a culture for your own personal power or profit?
• Have you ever denied yourself?
• Have you ever betrayed yourself?
• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
• Have you ever acted contrary to your own principles?
• Have you ever failed a friend?
• Have you ever sought to render others dependent on you?
• Have you ever abused those under your protection?
• Have you ever destroyed farmland, crops, or breeding stock?
• Have you ever despoiled a planet of its natural resources?
• Are you in hiding?
• Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
• Have you ever wrecked a climate?
• Have you ever systematically set up mysteries?
• Have you ever made nothing of yourself?
• Have you ever made a profession of destruction?
• Have you ever enturbulated an orderly environment?
• Have you ever been a traitor?
• Have you ever deliberately lowered another's knowingness, or ability?
• Have you ever maimed, and crippled, other people's bodies?
• Have you ever pretended to a power you did not possess?
• Have you ever stolen ships, draft, vessels, or vehicles belonging to a government?
• Have you ever disappeared?
• Have you ever killed your own body?
• Have you ever pretended to a knowingness you did not possess?
• Have you ever caused a planet to disappear?
• Have you ever felt the ends justified the means?
• Have you ever given cause a bad name?
• Have you ever discredited the creations of others?
• Have you ever been off post at a time when you were desperately needed?
• Have you ever convinced another that he has mocked up an unconfrontability?
• Have you ever deliberately mocked up an unconfrontability?
• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
• Have you perverted historical truths for any reason?
• Have you deliberately sent someone to the wrong place, or the wrong person?
• Have you ever been a professional spy, or intelligence agent?
• Have you made a practice of worrying people?
• Have you consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
• Have you demonstrated that control is impossible?
• Have you ever wrecked a vehicle, or vessel?
• Have you ever pretended to be dead?
• What question should be on this check for others?
• Have you ever convinced another of the injustice of his cause?
• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
• Have you ever claimed it harmed you to do something?
• Have you ever deliberately disfigured another's body?
• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
• Have you ever blinded anyone?
• Have you ever destroyed another's hearing?
• Have you ever knocked someone's teeth out?
• Have you ever punished another by cutting off some part of his body?
• Have you ever been a parasite?
• Is there anything you have sworn off being?
• Is there anything you have sworn off doing?
• Is there anything you have sworn off having?
• Have you ever given a degraded, or debased, example of divinity?
• Have you ever perverted a communication system?
• Have you ever been a professional critic?
• Have you ever held others in pawn for profit?
• Have you ever presumed on the natural goodness of another?
• Have you ever caused another to mistrust you?
• Have you ever made a burden of yourself?
• Have you ever gone crazy?
• Have you ever sought to persuade another of your insanity?
• Have you ever deliberately mutilated bodies?
• Have you ever deliberately mutilated objects?
• Have you heightened sexual sensation by inflicting pain?
• Have you ever caused something to appear at an unexpected time?
• Have you ever caused something to appear in an unexpected place?
• Have you ever maltreated a pregnant woman, or pregnant animal?
• Have you ever corrupted a child?
• Have you ever sought to convince others of their guilt?
• Have you ever started a war?
• Have you ever caused your own side to loose?
• Have you deliberately distorted others' ideas?
• Have you ever manipulated beings as though they were MEST? [Matter, Energy, Space and Time]
• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
• Have you ever sought to convince beings that they were MEST?
• Have you ever tried to persuade others there were thoughts they mustn't think?
• Have you ever sought to put another's thinkingness out of his control?
• Have you ever permitted a subordinate of yours to be punished for your mistakes?
• Have you ever tried to shift blame on to a superior of yours?
• Have you ever smothered a baby?
• Have you ever inflicted physical pain on an insane person for any reason?
• Have you ever taken pride in and cultivated a wrongness?
• Have you ever worshiped wrongness in others?
• Have you ever sought to make others unwilling to produce?
• Have you ever wiped out a family?
• Have you ever rewarded another, or a group, for a wrongness?
• Have you ever had sexual relations with an animal, or bird?
• Have you ever participated in a sexual relationship between a doll body and a human body?
• Have you ever destroyed a doll body?
• Have you ever lost a doll body entrusted to you?
• Have you ever punished another, or a group, for a rightness?
• Have you ever permitted another to be punished for your misdeed?
• Have you ever perpetuated an injustice?
• Have you ever been brutal to animals?
• Have you ever denied others a means of existence?
• Have you ever deserted your own children?
• Have you ever refused to support your parents, or grandparents?
• Have you ever denied others a redressment of grievances?
• Have you ever caused another to distrust himself?
• Have you ever caused another to identify himself with a form in order to enslave him?
• Have you ever given anyone the third degree?
• Have you ever validated the insanity of another being or group?
• Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
• Have you ever warped, or distorted, bodies for sexual purposes?
• Have you ever wanted to disown a deed of yours?
• Do you deserve to have any friends?
• Have you ever castrated anyone?
• Have you ever wrongfully claimed another's deeds as your own?
• Have you ever robbed a dead body?
• Have you ever made love to a dead body?
• Do you deserve to be free?
• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
• Is there any question on this check I had better not ask you again?
• Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be sane?
• Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be free?
• Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be well?
• Have you ever considered another didn't deserve to be alive?
• Have you ever made MEST guilty of harming you?
• Have you ever made another guilty of doing you permanent harm?
• Have you ever forced another to compete?
• Have you ever pretended to be unable to repair a form?
• Have you ever refused to put back into order a disorder you created?
• Have you ever shot, or stabbed, someone in the back?
• Have you ever been disloyal?
• Have you ever been treacherous?
• Have you ever engaged in piracy?
• Have you ever made an outrageous, or preposterous, will?
• Have you ever thrown the ownership of property into doubt?
• Have you ever demonstrated that communication is impossible?
• Have you ever withheld useful data?
• Have you ever created chaos?
• Have you ever consistently made a practice of furnishing useless data?
• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
• Have you ever caused another to mistrust his judgement?
• Have you ever convinced another he was guilty of a crime, or misdeed, which he had not in fact committed?
• Have you ever sought to convince another that there was something wrong with him?
• Have you ever practiced medicine unethically?
• Have you ever practiced law, or jurisprudence, unethically?
• Have you ever sought to convince another that everything was the same as everything else, so it didn't matter what he did?
• Have you ever spread despair?
• Have you ever kept effective solutions from working?
• Have you ever sought to convince another that there was no difference between right and wrong?
• Have you ever been a pimp?
• Have you ever given families a bad name?
• Have you ever produced a criminal?
• Have you ever assisted an evildoer?
• Have you ever driven a population into criminality?
• Have you ever used criminality as a means of control of a population?
• Have you ever made sanity appear to be psychotic?
• Have you ever been a psychiatrist?
• Have you ever depopulated an area?
• Have you ever deprived another of a livelihood?
• Have you ever given God a bad name?
• Have you ever been a corrupt priest?
• Have you ever given spirits an evil reputation?
• Have you ever been an evil spirit?
• Have you ever sought to convince others that things were evil?
• Have you ever taught others that nothing can be done?
• Have you ever tried to convince others that knowing is bad? That perceiving is bad? That sensation is bad?
• Have you ever deliberately caused a sane person to be committed to a mental institution?
• Have you ever performed unnecessary surgery on someone's body?
• Have you ever tried to convince others that things are bad? That there are bad beingnesses? That it is bad to do things?
• Have you ever mocked another's ability?
• Have you ever mocked another's knowingness?
• Have you ever mocked another's creativeness?
• Have you ever applied a hot iron to another person's body?
• Have you ever tortured another with electrical, or electronic, devices?
• Have you ever attacked others for causing effects that you secretly knew were beneficial, or helpful?
• Have you ever deliberately caused others to feel less responsible?
• Have you ever beaten a child to death?
• Have you ever starved anyone to death?
• Have you ever left anyone to die of thirst?
• Have you ever misestimated an effort?
• Have you ever misjudged another?
• Have you ever failed to save someone from drowning?
• Have you ever knowingly sponsored a swindle?
• Have you ever failed another?
• Have you ever wasted time when you ought not to have?
• Have you ever retreated from an area where you should have stayed, or advanced?
• Have you ever wasted men? Women? Children? Objects? An ability? Animals? Thoughts? Spaces? Energy?
• Have you ever made nothing of a worthy person? Of a group? Of a universe? Of a spirit?
• Have you failed in any way to live up to your own ideas of how you should be?
• Have you ever broken someone's body on a wheel?
• Have you ever stretched another's body on a rack?
• Have you ever put a criminal in a position of trust?
• Have you ever sold people on the idea that people are basically wicked?
• Have you ever boiled someone's living body in oil?
• Have you ever eaten a human body?
• Have you ever eaten the body of a member of your own species?
• Have you ever exterminated a species?
• Have you ever let your past triumphs discourage you about your future?
• Have you ever flayed anyone alive?
• Have you ever been a professional executioner?
• Have you ever done a bad thing to win approval?
• Have you ever been a dishonest policeman?
• Have you ever asked how to shot web?
• Have you ever been a brutal gaoler?
• Have you ever been a corrupt judge?
• Have you ever been a bad soldier?
• Have you ever done a bad thing to save yourself?
• Have you ever done a bad thing to save another?
• Have you ever been an ungrateful child?
• Have you ever been a wicked mother?
• Have you ever been a bad father?
• Have you ever convinced another that his goals were no good?
• Have you ever been an abortionist?
• Have you ever run a brothel?
• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
• Have you ever produced a bastard?
• Have you ever convinced another that he shouldn't confront someone, or something?
• Have you ever failed to send, or deliver, a vital message?
• Have you committed rape?
• Have you employed poison gas against life forms?
• Have you ever put up a discreditable creation?
• Have you ever taught that it was bad for people to have things?
• Have you ever deliberately infected life forms with disease?
• Have you ever made a body disappear?
• Have you ever consistently made a practice of attacking people who helped you?
• Have you ever perverted an ethic?
• Have you ever consistently made a practice of attacking those who helped others?
• Have you ever abused, or tortured, life forms?
• Have you ever inflicted an unwarranted punishment?
• Have you ever enforced breeding?
• Have you ever desecrated burial places?
• Have you ever attacked helpless persons?
• Have you ever denied anyone a desired beingness?
• Have you ever caused another being to create against his own wishes or interests?
• Have you ever zapped anyone?
• Have you deliberately set property afire?
• Have you ever created an affect for which there was no apparent cause?
• Have you ever interiorized a being into a machine?
• Have you ever forced a body to survive against its owner's wishes?
• Have you ever arrested the development of a culture?
• Is there any place you'd better not return to?
• Is there anything the people of Earth had better not find out about you?
• Is there any time you'd better not return to?
• Have you done anything that had better not happen again?
• Have you ever given creativeness a bad name?
• Have you given biological bodies a bad name?
• Have you given doll bodies a bad name?
• Have you given robots a bad name?
• What should others be warned about concerning you?
• What don't you trust yourself with?
• Is there anything you can't forgive yourself for?
• Is there anything others should not forgive you for?
• Have you ever caused equipment entrusted to your care to vanish?
• Have you ever acted as a double agent?
• Have you ever misappropriated equipment entrusted to your care?
• Have you ever interrogated another under torture?
• Have you ever caused anyone to be burned alive?
• Have you ever misappropriated funds entrusted to your care?
• Have you ever violated the sanctity of a herald?
• Have you ever violated a flag of truce, or a period of truce?
• Have you ever caused someone to be flogged to death?
• Have you ever been a religious fanatic?
• Have you ever assassinated a prominent person?
• Have you ever blown anything up?
• Have you ever violated a sanctuary?
• Have you ever poisoned an atmosphere?
• Have you ever set a booby trap?
• Have you ever violated the established rules of warfare?
• Have you ever made yourself out to be weaker than you in fact were?
• Have you ever made yourself out to be stronger than you in fact were?
• Have you ever promised help without intending to give it?
• Have you ever abandoned your sick, or dead, to the enemy?
• Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?

If you answer "yes" to 90% of these questions, then, and ONLY then, are you ready for Sea Org. Note: Anonymous scores over 100%.

Full Track Dick Check

A "Dick Check" (short for "Complete Fucking Dick") is necessary when one's acquaintance refuses to stop dropping memes and internet catchphrases into regular conversation (see Chronic Troll Syndrome). The subject is hooked up to a D-Meter (a kind of lie detector consisting of a car battery and some wet crocodile clips) and asked the following questions.

• Have you ever tased a bro?
• Have you ever jacked a luna?
• Have you ever lieked a mudkip?
• Have you ever bought a dog?
• Have you ever corrupted a LOL?
• Have you ever forced a meme?
• Have you ever shot a web?
• Have you ever had a cheezburgar?
• Have you ever switched on a police?
• Have you ever enjoyed your AIDS?
• Have you ever rolled a Rick, or duck?
• Have you ever gone back to a kitchen, or Gaia?
• Have you ever stolen a bike, or if you are white, an iPod?
• Have you ever eaten a sandwich, or toilet thing?
• If yes, were you able to enjoy the sandwich?
• Have you ever, aaah, fucked a guy?
• Have you ever closed a pool?
• Have you ever known a naga?
• Have you ever set up us a bomb?
• Have you ever whistled for a cab?
• Have you ever had chicken?
• Have you ever expressed difficulty in believing that you've done this?
• Have you ever screwed a rule?
• Have you ever left Britney alone?
• Have you ever had a wonderful time?
• Have you ever battled a toad?
• Have you ever checked a price?
• Have you ever formed a babby?
• Have you ever killed a dood?
• Have you ever become an hero?
• Are you a rapist?
• Have you ever been a stranger to love?
• Have you ever known the rules?
• Have you ever thought of full commitment?
• Have you ever gotten this from any other guy?
• Have you ever told me how you're feelin'?
• Have you ever made me understand?
• Have you ever given me up?
• Have you ever let me down?
• Have you ever ran around?
• Have you ever deserted me?
• Have you ever made me cry?
• Have you ever said goodbye?
• Have you ever told a lie?
• Have you ever hurt me?

If the subject responds to most or all of the questions by smirking as if he's a member in some secret fucking club, then the auditor and case supervisor will conduct him into a washing machine full of bricks until he learns to separate the internet from real life.

Sec Check is part of a series on Scientology

[CollapseExpand]

LOL TECH: Dianetics • Disconnection • Child abuse • Saint Hill • Scientology's History of the Universe • Sec Check • Freewinds • Sea Org • Glossary • Religious Freedom Watch • Volunteer Ministers • OSA • Space Opera SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard • David Miscarriage • Tom Cruise • Scientology Agents • Tommy Davis • Rogues Gallery • Suri Cruise • Terryeo • Heaven's Gate • The Regime • Evil Jacket Guy • Joe Feshbach • VaLLarrr • Tom Newton • John Carmichael • Freezone • Captain Bill Robertson • Danny Masterson • Will Smith • Oschaper • Kendrick Moxon • Tim Armer • Jorge Serrano • Ron Savelo • John Travolta • Jett Travolta NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous • Wise Beard Man • Jason Beghe • Gas Mask Girl • Magoo • New Zealand Fail Guy • Message from Scientology • Shawn Lonsdale • Rorschach • Moralfags • Leaderfags • Raidfag Wench • James Packer • Leah Remini • Epic Nose Guy • Stu Wyatt • Tommy Gorman • The Unknown Autobot • Psychiatrists • Marcab Confederacy • David Wu-Kapauw • Epic Sword Guy • Agent Pubeit ENTURBULULZ: PROJECT CHANOLOGY • Why We Protest Forums • A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan • The Geterator • Neil Gaiman's Sandman • Paul "Fetch" Carnes • ReligionIsFree.org • You Found the Card • /i/ • alt.religion.scientology • Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX • 888chan (/td/)