[[File:Freddielotion.PNG|thumb|left|[[I Came|Freddie, just the way you want him]].]]
[[File:Miranda Cosgrove.jpg|thumb|right|I'd hit that.]]
[[File:Jenette McCurdy.jpg|thumb|left|<s>Not so much this</s> Nah I still would.]]
[[File:64125 1766557822.jpg|thumb|right|Carly Shay enjoys big cock in her face.]]
[[File:Freddy 8=D.jpg|thumb|right|Freddie lives in apartment 8=D, ''iCarly'' has genius [[sex]] subliminal writers.]]
'''''iCarly''''' [[Fact|is the worst show on television]]. This steaming pile of [[shit]] revolves around the miserable [[fuck]] lives of two [[12 year old girls|13 year old]] [[lolis]] who [[camwhore|run their own web show]]. The show was created as [[Viacom]]'s next attempt at cashing out [[jailbait|another child actor]] ever since Jamie Lynn Spears failed to realize that [[blowjob|her mouth can't get pregnant]].
The show came to be when well-known drama whore Miranda Cosgrove realized that she could get her own show using her [[buttsecks|special talents]] to persuade Viacom producers. Ever since, ''iCarly'' has become the most popular shows for [[12 year old girls]], and [[desperate]] [[pedophiles]].
==Plot==
[[File:SamChangin.gif|thumbnail|Rated G, yo!]]
[[File:Freenudes.jpg|thumbnail|For a 13 year old [[camwhore]] she's very creative when it comes to marketing. And just like any other advertisement it is just a [[trap]] to get the [[asperger's]] to their show.]]
[[Shit no one cares about|The show is based around the life of goody two-shoes Carly Shay, your average American whore. One day, Carly was in the teachers' lounge sucking her teachers' dicks for good grades when she saw that her teacher had pulled out a video camera. This gave the little whore an idea: "Why be a regular whore when I can also be a camwhore as well? HERP DERP!" Teaming up with her best friend and well-known dyke Sam Puckett, Carly set out to become the most popular camwhore on the Internet.]]
Each episode of the show consists of Carly preparing for her next episode of ''iCarly''. In the process, she ends up getting into wacky situations including:
* How can you let my enemy [[Buttsex|penetrate my inner sanctum?!]]
* Getting detention for prostitution.
* Breaking into teachers' houses [[for the lulz|for various reasons.]]
* Making fun of various citizens.
* [[Script kiddies|Hacking into their middle school's computer network.]]
* Having a Super [[butthurt]] Haxor [[Trying too hard|hack into their website so that he could get sympathy sex]].
* Gang-rape a private school dean for the [[Its a trap|ball in her pocket]].
* Having an orgasm every time they eat [[vagina|creamy pie]].
* Teaming up with [[Fred]] to create mass [[drama]] when it was actually a [[hoax]] to get more page-views for their sites.
* Note that they can NOT do the show without [[capslock|YELLING AND OVER REACTING! YOU MUST YELL AND ACT LIKE AN IDIOT!1!!11!1]]
* Sending various adult figures who can stop Carly from doing her show to their doom.
After they've planned their show, they then air their creation live to viewers across the [[internets|interwebs]] on their flashy awesome php-built website because [[bullshit|Washington State funds a great web page course for middle school students]].
The web broadcast consists of using weird [[sex toys|props and gags]] to create a sense of funny but it usually ends in the creation of a blast of concentrated [[anti-lulz]]. When Sam and Carly aren't having three-ways, four-ways, and five-ways with [[gay|hot]] men and [[whores|beautiful women]] of all ages, showing clips of Carly secretly masturbating in public or showing people how to use sex toys, they're airing a video submitted by their fans. Most of these videos consist of "Who Can Shove What Up Where," [[Goatse]] imitations, and clips from the [[Shock Site|Pain Olympics]].
Considering that no mentally sane person would laugh at any of the "jokes," the show must recycle the same fucking laugh track and cheering sound effects of a castrated elephant. As if the jokes aren't bad enough, the fact that the producers think they're SO FUCKING FUNNY LAWL! and the overused laugh tracks will make you want to [[kill yourself|commit suicide]], as you should you pedophillic sack of shit. What the fuck are you doing watching Nickelodeon anyway? Also, why was this article created?
==Characters==
* '''[[slut|Carly]]''' - When it comes to lolis, the best type is the sluttiest, and it doesn't get any sluttier than Carly Shay. Like many other [[slut|girls]] her age, her main drive in life is to have the most attention ever. Unlike most of the gabbling, fatass , whores of today's generation, [[Bullshit|she has a brain]]. She's one of those spoiled little goody two-shoes shits that always gets what she wants and [[butthurt|if she doesn't]], she always [[blowjob|finds]] [[secks|a]] [[buttsecks|way.]] When she can't get it, she gets her slave to [[buttsecks|persuade]] the opposing parties. This is one teenage girl you do NOT want to <s>mess</s> fuck with, literally. She also [[slut|appeared in a bikini in one episode]] for [[sick fucks|normal people]] to [[fap]] to while riding their [[My Little Pony|unicorns]]. You can see the actress on TV singing the praises of golden showers in the song "[[Piss|It's Raining Sunshine]]", which has been legally fapped to since May 14, 2011.
* '''[[Internet Tough Guy|Sam]]''' - Sam is the second of the two loose gals on ''iCarly'' and the local neighborhood dyke. Famous for her role as Stephanie Tanner, her main role in the show is to rape the living shit out of everything that moves with her massive, raping double dildo. One of her most notable targets is Freddie, who she rapes and molests on a daily occasion. Often against his will. Whenever she's not penetrating an innocent bystander, she's filming a new web cast with her Mistress Carly. She provides the [[sick fuck|comical]] element to the show. Most /b/tards hail her as the prime example of the average female on /b/. This theory is false because [[Rules of the Internet|there are no girls on the internet]]. And lately, has been rumored that she may be a [[Hermaphrodite]]. She had [[retard|writing on her stomach]] in one episode, clearly displaying her readiness for /b/. The [[jailbait]] wait for this one ended on June 26, 2010, so fap away.
* '''[[moot|Freddie]]''' - The camera guy for the show. He is super leet with his [[Computer Science III|Computer Science]] education, and he's only 13. He got tricked into becoming the camera guy for "iCarly" when Carly pulled the classic [[Friend Zone]] trap which Freddie couldn't resist--the little pussy. Freddie is the only person that Carly won't fuck, suck, or even plop em' out for and he still does her bidding. Whenever he isn't crying in the corner while listening to [[MCR]] or jerking off to [[MCR]], he's being constantly raped by Sam, and when it's not Sam, it's his bipolar bitch of a mother who was last seen on [[Crap|Malcolm in the Middle]]. He probably enjoys it seeing that he kissed Sam which simultaneously made fat girls squeal, [[pedophiles]] [[fap]], and made innocent channel surfers who were just looking for the Packers game puke shit [[Zalgo]] fashion. In one episode, he wears a [[fursuit]] to "[[Yiff|make his baby cousin laugh]]" but got [[GTFO|vomited]] on when his little cousin (who was only shown in that episode and is [[rape|never seen again]]) figured out he was a fucking [[furry]]. In the following episodes, he strangely never uses the fursuit again, despite how expensive it probably was, but he [[closet furry|has his reasons.]] He would later go on to build an [[4chan|imageboard]].
* '''[[Pedophile|Spencer]]''' - The older "brother" of Carly. In reality, he is a pedophile posing as Carly's brother. It all began when he was hiding in a dumpster waiting for a sweet little girl to walk by when he noticed Carly walking with the real Spencer. When Carly got distracted by a possible [[Prostitot|"business opportunity"]], she left the real Spencer to wait near the dumpster. Later that night, the sick fuck of a pedophile--we'll call him Mitch Conner--had now disguised himself as Spencer waiting for the right opportunity. Not only is he able to hide his pedo ways, he landed in a pedo goldmine. He is considered to be a [[an hero]] to most. He has also voiced the main character for [[furry|T.U.F.F. Puppy]].
* '''[[Basement Dweller|Nevel]]''' - The show's [[Nerd|smart guy]]. Apparently, this nerd decides what websites are "kool or nawt". When Carly found a loophole in his bullshitty plothole, Nevel gained a 5-foot boner then [[not gay|torments]] Carly on the later episodes.
''iCarly'' fans can be considered the most pathetic people on the [[Internet]]. They lack the ability to congregate even into the simplest forum and have the brain capacity of an average Arby's customer, making them dumber than the average [[/b/tard]]. ''iCarly'' fans can be summed up in two main categories:
===Seddie===
These group of fans can be compared to Zutara fans of ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Avatar]]'' in which they're demanding that the producers have Sam and Freddie get together and fuck like it's the end of time. One theory is that Seddie fanatics are actually Zutarafags who are still bawling over the ending to ''Avatar''.
===Desperate Pedophiles===
The pedophiles that watch ''iCarly'' are incredibly pathetic. These are the guys who can't even get a simple nude pic, let alone get a little girl to eat their candy. A lot of these pedophiles are actually trying to study the actions of Spencer in order to use his actions on the pedophile front line.
===Trolling methods===
Trolling an ''iCarly'' fan is as easy as paying [[Rootbrian]]'s dental bill <s>for the rest of his life</s> [[ALL CAPS|AT ALL]]. It is nearly impossible due to the fact that none of the fans have the mental capacity to create a decent working forum for trolls to do their handy work. Most attempts at trolling "iCarly" fans end in tragedy.
When you do have the ideal opportunity to troll a fan, your best bet is to:
* State that Sam and Freddie will never be together.
* Tell the forum owner that he/she/it is a [[sick fuck|sick]] pedophile.
* Mention how each time someone makes a poor review on iCarly all she wants to do is cry and cut herself.
===iCarly Fan videos===
<center><youtube>mH--jHcqZ08</youtube></center>
===iCarly YouTube Poops and General Hate Videos===
''iCarly'' has become so popular by every little shit in the world that Viacom has seen fit to sell every known type of product under the ''iCarly'' brand name. These include:
*''iCarly'' porno DVDs
*''iCarly'' music tapes
*''iCarly'' sports drink (with steroid extract)
*''iCarly'' dildo (now it glows in your tight anus)
*''iCarly'' fleshlight
*''iCarly'' blowup doll (now with Freddie)
*''iCarly'' lead-based toys
The producers even saw it fit to tweak the names of [[IRL]] products so they wouldn't have to pay for licensing contracts. For example: Pepsi Cola changes to Peppi Cola, iPod becomes PearPod and [[Shamwow]] to [[rape|Shampow]].
==="Singing Deals"===
And when you thought that was it the stupid cunt of an actor, Miranda Cosgrove, decided to start a singing career after recording the shitstorm of an opening theme.
{{quote|It was horrible. Her harpy shriek echoed across the building. It made the Men's Bathroom become haunted with Holocaust victims. It's sad really, because the producers listened to it as if it was heavenly. But really, she writes songs like she takes shits. She shits in the mouth of one of her man whores who then shits it out of his wide open rectum, producing a much denser turd that has properties of highly corrosive acid. Also, they don't flush.|Petey, the Head Janitor at the Recording Studio.}}
==See Also==
* ''[[Victorious]]''
* ''[[Full House]]''
* [[Girl on the Internet Syndrome]]
* [[Unfunny]]
* [[Fred]]
* [[Disney]]
==External Links==
* [http://www.icarly.com/ Official website]
* [http://www.topix.com/forum/who/miranda-cosgrove/TG1GNA3F0BS0AEHF1 NO HATERS ALLOWED, GUYS!]
* [http://www.icarly-show.com/ Site for the show-within-the-show]
Spider Web: A Pig's Tail is a cinematic CGI adaptation of the classic children's story Cheney's Turds written by Lauren Faust, in which the hero, a blind pig named George, overcomes a series of increasingly precarious obstacles created from Spider-Man's addiction to bacon and finally comes to the realisation that even though he is unable to see his tail, it does not necessarily follow that it does not exist.
Released directly to home-media the availability of the title at a relatively inexpensive cost, made possible as a result the creators tight budgetary control, resulted in widespread exposure to an appreciative market of today's youth. Some argue that elevated sales and its ever constant presence upon the display-stands of popular discount-stores is assisted by the packaging being easily mistaken for that of a "five-star" release from studios such as Dreamworks or Disney. The creators have expressly stated that they believe their packaging to be:
“
representative of the overall content contained therein (and that) any similarities between their release and that of any other party were purely coincidental
„
— company spokesperson
Taking your pigs to market
The emergence of 'High Definition' technology into the home-media environment has; as pointed out by lead-designer Jackson Makepeace during the commentary recorded for the special-edition Blu-Ray, "put real big pressure on everybody to keep up with the big-boys in terms of visuals". The decision was made by the production team to eschew convention and proceed with a "more homely lo-fi approach" reasoning that they stood to make significant savings bypassing expensive "industrial" digital-rendering if they instead completed the process themselves. Some found it ironic this was ultimately made possible by the very thing the company were railing against, namely the increased availability of "high-end" electronic equipment to the domestic-consumer.
Bringing home the bacon
Upon the millionth recorded sale of the DVD being registered the director along with a number of members of the crew visited sick children at a local cancer-hospital taking with them copies of the film and some miniature Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs. Tragically a number of the children present became ill as a result of complications arising from coming into contact with one or more of the pigs who were later found to be carrying an otherwise unknown strain of streptococcus, all were shortly afterwards destroyed as a precautionary measure. The pigs received a course of antibiotics.
The title has received numerous accolades from both the home-media and mainstream film industries including Sundance Film Festival awards for 'Best Film featuring a Blind Pig' and 'Best Pig in a film featuring a Blind Pig' .
