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Video Brinquedo
Video Brinquedo, aka Toyland Video are a Brazilian based production company specializing in children's movies with more than a passing resemblance to works by the likes of Disney and Dreamworks. Rather than, say, actual children, Brinquedo's intended market audience are visually impaired and confused grandparents and aunts and go to many lengths to trick the uninformed or uncaring into mistaking their movies for the real versions that kids would actually enjoy. As such they are responsible for the majority of disappointment and resentment towards elderly relatives harbored by children around birthdays and Christmas time who have received their videos.
How to Make a Video Brinquedo Movie
- Wait for Disney-Pixar or Dreamworks to finish years of production on its latest blockbuster.
- Diligently stake out local movie theaters until a trailer for it comes out.
- Throw your popcorn in the air and run back to headquarters before the main feature even starts.
- Rush out a copy of what you can remember seeing using Brazil's state of the art 3D rendering technology.
- Change the title enough to throw lawyers off the scent and use a diminutive term, e.g. 'Space Chimps' becomes 'The Tiniest Apes in Space'
- Distribute the Video Brinqedo version as close to the original movie's release, hoping that the publicity of the original movie will be enough to confuse people into mistaking it for the real version.
The end result, rake in cash laughing maniacally at the thought of little Timmy's face when his grandmother gives him The Little Panda Fighter:
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The Little Panda Fighter
The west traditionally dub original kung-fu movies with shitty audio, Brinquedo dub them with shitty videos too. -
Ratatoing
Ratatoing: (v) Present participle of ratato. 1. To plagiarise cartoon rodents. Badly. -
Gladiformers
Robots in disguise...as feminine sanitary towels. -
What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue!
Spoiler: Balloons do not come to the rescue. Balloons are indifferent to your plight.
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Little Cars 3: Fast and Curious
Just make your own joke about its suitability as a porn title. -
Little Bee
The formula of adding "Little" to titles applies even if the subject matter is by definition small. As opposed to giant bees. -
The Frog Prince
Disney can't claim ownership of this story, which was coincidentally released at the same time, but it looks like it was made in Macromedia Flash 1 for Newgrounds. -
Tiny Robots
This one manages to rip off Robots, Star Wars and Wall-E in one fell swoop.
Style
Aside from central concepts and characters being completely stolen, Brinquedo do manage to bring a certain style of their own that shines through, becoming the envy of many CGI companies in their native Brazil.
—Marcelo A. De Souza, (São Paulo, Brazil), apologizing on behalf of Brazil. |
Character Design
A major problem for Brinquedo is the actual design of their characters. Too similar and they face legal action, too dissimilar and people might not mistake it for a better title. Too good and they may have to hire someone other than their nephew with a black-belt in CSIII. The end compromise in this balancing act creates some of the shittiest approximations of cartoon characters ever.
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WHAT AM I?!
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This is a cat. No seriously, this is a cat.
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Jaws and lips move completely independent of teeth and gums are non-existent.
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These are obviously bees.
Animation
Even though the movies are dubbed into English, the actual facial movements of whatever mass of polygons is currently "talking" bear absolutely no resemblance to what is being said even in the original, looping either repetitively or just stopping and jerking onto another animation. At best, things resembling lips flap around approximately while a voice actor goes through the motions of reading out the script.
If any motion-capture was ever used, the actor subsequently died of complications due to chronic arthritis because the same zombie like walking and running animations are recycled over and over by nearly every character.
Scenery
Absolutely no expense is spared when bringing the guy who watched a Disney trailer's vague memories of that world to life. Sprawling metropolises and high speed race tracks are lovingly rendered in 8-bit color, with at least five textures to every square mile of jagged boxes. The detail is staggering, with green low poly spheres representing trees and lush fields of 50 pixel by 50 pixel grass.bmp stretched over a single plane as far as the eye can see.
Voice Acting
If you prefer staring at the Pain Series over watching these CGI monstrosities, then you'll be glad to hear that the English dubbing in Video Brinquedo's films makes the sound of wild boars screaming in anguish more tolerable. They resort to enlisting the help of either sketchy, homeless people off the streets, bewildered college bound wanna-be voice actors or anyone at 4kids when they're not busy tarnishing anime. The mere fact that one of the characters in Ratatoing is voiced by DAN GREEN doesn't help the overall quality of the cartoon.
Here is a textbook example of the aforementioned horror:
This may be the worst accent of all time.
Video Brinquedo on YouTube
Despite being hated by both customers and their companies that are their obvious inspiration, Brinquedo's masterpieces enjoy a small cult following among Poopers on YouTube much to the displeasure of the company themselves. In fact, so inundated with appreciative comments from YouTubers was their channel that they had to completely delete and disable all comments for several trailers for their videos. For now, the only people who get enjoyment from Video Brinquedo at all are those who make unfunny shit like this:
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Mega Powers
Brinquedo is also responsible for this.
See Also
- Copyright
- Pixar
- Disney
- Foodfight!
- WOLFABOO: The Movie
- Spark Plug Productions
- Sir Billi
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Plagiarism
- Art theft
- Original Character
- Youtube Poop
- Swap.avi
External Links
- Official knock-off YouTube channel
- Official knock-off website
- ToylandVideo.com
- Fake but amusing Facebook
Video Brinquedo is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |