- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Axl Darkix: Difference between revisions
imported>HideTheKitty |
imported>HideTheKitty |
||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
{{Bigtext| | |||
Adam Prower says: | Adam Prower says: | ||
^^ | ^^ | ||
Revision as of 23:42, 21 July 2013
Axl Darkix is your typical 19-year old pedophile furfag. Shat out of Kawaii Kitsune's fat, blubbery ass when she was thirteen years old, she thought of the idea of Axl when she was fondling her 50-year old penis to some CP, and she knew Pedobear had no interest in 50-year old fag cock.
Axl is also a prophet of emo, and has successfully converted over 9,000 people.
Your Typically Emo MSN Gayness
Axl Darkix not only doesn't have a social life IRL, but he loses his "internet friends". He feels that he should not only be a pro failure in real life, but also make some friends and fuck them over just for fun and for his benefit so he can pedophialic rape his underaged girlfriend who pratically lives all the way at the other end of his fat ass crack. Then if that's not faggoty enough, he goes and cries in the corner and cut his wrist to My Chemical Romance and come back 5 minutes later with cheesey combacks of his typically epic fail. Here is a sample of the BAAAWWWWW you may find in a typical Axl Darkix MSN convo:
Use scrollbar to see the full text
Look at the name- "Look at the stars. See how many stars shine for you, and only you" That just spells emo fag. If you think that's not pathetic and it's not epic fail, well then you are epic fail. =/
Faggot Poetry
Axl Darkix is basically your typical emo fag that listens to My Chemical Romance and writes shitty poems with fucked up grammar on his DeviantArt account about how depressing life is. When asked why he made such crappy poems he responded with, "<.< im sorry?" Most of his poems are about him fantasizing about having gay furry sex with his fat, 15-year old girlfriend's fan character like this one (what's in bold is especially lulzy):
I used to be one..cold hearted and sad..i would put on a fake smile so i wouldnt worry others..but i could feel it taking its tool on my heart...the pain inside of my heart would grow daily and daily..causeing me to not be able to sleep until i cried myself to sleep...then i went to a place..where fans of Miles Tails Prower would go and have fun..it seemed nice..and i would make many freinds tthere...but what truly melted away the coldness in my heart...was this girl..her fur pink all around...representing the love and care she holds within her heart...she sweet as sugar..and as kind as an angel..shes also as pure as one..i was honored to just be her freind..then summer came..she was heart broken from a bad romance...and i conforted her...then..her secret came out.."i love you" she said..my heart almost stopped.."someone like her loves someone like me?" i asked myself.."..kk..i always loved you back as well..will you be..my love..and the fire that melts my hearts coldness?" i asked her and she nodded with much joy i broke down crying..finally..a love...something i never had..so today on valentines day..i am happy to say..sorry...im busy now..im spending valentines day with my girlfreind..i never thought that i would ever like this cursed holiday..just goes to show..that love is for everyone..even people like me...i conclude this loving poem..with these words...Happy Valentines day Christina..you made me so happy..^^*holds her close and kisses softly* *lights dim*
....I made absolutely no modifications to the poem. That's exactly what he wrote with all grammatical errors untouched. Of course, KK, the fat bitch she is violently masturbated to the poem since it had the word "pink" in it. Everyone else provided the typical DA comments such as, ".........thats soooo sweet *sniffle*," and "awww...true love...." They were basically the responses that obviously didn't give a shit about the poem, but felt the need to be amiable or some dumb shit because this is the fucking internet and if you give a negative opinion on the internet, you are a hateful, evil, bastard that shoots babies in the head with desert eagles.
World's Most Shitastic Fanfictions
Probably the only thing worse than Axl Darkix's poetry is his retarded fanfiction. It basically consists of incoherent dialogue (his personal quote is "fuck logic," so this might explain why his fanfictions are so incoherent), grammar mistakes and the use of the word "fuck" in every last sentence because he's emo, and emos apparently think using the word "fuck" will make their stories awesome. Below is an example of his fanfiction. (Once again, everything that is in bold is extra lulzy):
the story begins ass holes XD
One Day in a town in Cali a gray fox with red and yellow eyes and hair over his eyes and pericngs was walkin about with a smug look on his face. It was a nice sunny day out axl wearing a dark green shirt and black baggy pants with chains as he sung to himself. "HEY YOU" a cop shouted as axl smirked and turned around. "yes officer is there a problem?" axl said with a smart ass tone knowing his in deep shit. " DID YOU TAKE A DUMP IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR?" he shouted. "oh..well..yup. and tell your wife that the blow job was nice" axl said laughing and walking off as the cop started calling units as axl smirked dashing down the allies. the cops chased him several miles as axl knocked over cans manovering corners as the cops chased after him. axl then fell in a hole that slid him into a living room where two other foxes were. one was a blue fox named crystal who was a good freind of axl as well as ablack fox with red streaks named Spooky
"you told the cop you fucked his wife again didnt you?" crystal said trying not to laugh. "dude ax you never grow up do ya?' spooky said as he was cookin something in the kitchen. "yup XD dude that fucker was pissed" axl said as he jumped on the couch laughing as he turned the mcr music on. "so..just sitting around yet again?"axl asked closin his eyes some looking board. "..well ax..nothin to really do you know?" crystal said sitting down spinning in the chair. "man..summers been out for 2 weeks and theres nothing to do.." spooky said laying in the lazy boy. "..well..fuck we got that fuckin 500,00 in the bank..lets go on a big ass road trip.." axl said laying down. "..hmm..well..got nothing better to do..where to?" crystal said looking at axl. "DUDE LETS GO TO NEVADA" spooky shouted jumping up and down. "uuh..why sppoks?" axl asked giveing him a look like what the fuck is your deal dude. "FUCKING MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CONCERT" spooky shouted running around axl. "O_O dude..yeah lets do that" axl said smiling as he falls off the couch and lands on his head. crystal helps him up and laughs "well lets pack and tomarrow we take the autodrive rv" crystal said as she walked off to the kitchen to make some nachos. spooky went off to pack as axl layd back and sighed looking at a photo he looked serious for a while starring blankly at it as crystal walked over. "Ya know..you never tell me what that thing is or why you always star at it blankly axl.." crystal said with a sound of worry and conern. "..just a part of past that ill never get back no matter how hard i work towards it crystal" axl sadly said as he walked to he bed room and packing some of his clothes as crystal sighed " AH axl..still kick ass but damn man your still weirder than ever.." she said as she also went to pack.
serveral hours past as axl put his stuff by the door as did spooky and crystal as axl started making dinner axl had praticed some colonary arts in school so began making a nice roast chicken and mashed potatoes as crystal and spooky were playing some ddr in the living room. They all lived in a small nice cozy place that axl got from the money he got from his parents will. his parents met there end when axl was only 2 and died in a bombing incident..they found axl when he was little and grew up with him and always stuck with him like any good group of freinds would. Axl would always be quiet but you can bet he always had good times with them. Axl would always start shit with cops and teachers and some how got away with it every time. Axl didnt really like the idea that crystal wanted to be a teacher but he supported her non the less and vowed to be her aid one day even though axl loves to piss every teacher off. SPooky grew up idolizing mcrs Geral Way and always singed axl would help him by playing the instumental versions of there songs on the computer so he could sing to it. Spooky entered many amiture contests and won axl showed up to cheer him on everytime his heart warmed at the fact spooky went on to suceed. everytime axl looked at them he smiled at the fact he atleast had them to help him through. Latley Axl discovered his dark powers and vowed to always fight to keep these 2 safe even at the cost of his own life. Little does axl know..he may need these powers very soon. But for now..they can kick back and relax.
as axl cooked he let a loud fart rip "I HOPE YOU LIKE THE EXTRA FLAVOR" axl said with a smirk. Crystal rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at axl as he just laughed putting them on plates and got them over as they ate. "Ax..once again another kick ass meal" crystal said smiling. "come on..i only do stuff to make life easier.." axl said embaressed slightly " dude..ax..you need to give yourself more credit..you do more than ya need" spooky said looking at him " I mean..i say it crystal says it and even your girlfeind worries that you do to much..dont you even listen to kk?" spooky continued. "..yeah i know..but..thats what the good freind does right?" axl said putting his hood up. "Anyway get some sleep im wakin ya up at the ass crack of dawn" axl said smirking. "..ax..sleep also..i mean..you barly sleep dude.."crystal said. "..ok.." axl said and went to bed as he looke beyond tired. Spooky and Crystal looked at eachother and sighed as they finushed and went to bed as well. Axl slept soundly hugging his tails tightly dreaming about the fun they would have together
=next: chapter 2-on the road-
Axl:..the road..a trip with my pals...but..why do i feel as if danger is approaching...i feel..as if a dark shadow is apon us..but..it maybe just..parnioa..oh well..
CobraCommanduh was asked by another youtuber to narrate Axl's incomprehensible piece of shit, with a moderately lulzy minor commentary:
This insignificant, backwater video created much drama among Axl Darkix's DA friends. (See the comments of the video. Lulz-o-meter is 8.5/10).
Youtube
Axl's fat ass is on YouTube, but he doesn't know about any other games other than MegaMan Battle Network. Every last one of his videos is of him recording himself playing a MegaMan series no one remembers or cares about anymore unless of course...you are under ten years old. He's also watched over 5000 videos, so he pretty much just lurks on youtube all day shitting in his chair while shoving twinkies in his fat ass face and masturbating to 13-15 year old kids wearing spandex. Here's one of the only videos he made that isn't one of MegaMan Battle Network:
...Axl's just gay.
Axl's Fan character
Axl's fan character is a fox version of himself dressed in punk attire with two fucked up eyes and some shitty earrings. Axl has a special bond with his fan character; apparently, it was his only friend while growing up. It's not hard to imagine that when you have a fat face like Axl's and run around wearing black fingernail polish all day, while writing shitty poetry. I suppose his poetry could come close to the quality of Edgar Allan Poe if Edgar was a retarded, illiterate nigger with a pipe shoved up his ass and going straight through his brain. Axl claims he has a reason for his fan character to be a complete rip-off recolor. It's a daft excuse though, because all he'll bring up to defend his contention is that stupid special/spiritual bond he has with it. (He probably just faps to his fan character. I'd say it's a reasonable assumption to make considering the other things he ostensibly sins his dick to...poor kids.) Like with every other Sonic fan character, it is regarded as brilliant among the fucktarded community, but everyone else knows for a fact that it is made of massive fail and diabeetus.
Second Life
Because Axl's mission to convert optimists had been such a success, he decided to get a Second Life account in order to further spread his beliefs.
Related Links
- His shitty DA account, he doesn't use it anymore
- New DA Account, with shitty Second Life screen shots
- Kawaii Kitsune
- His emo myspace
- His MegaMan Battle Network obsessed youtube account
- His Newer Youtube account with Second Life recordings of stupid shit
- His Tumblr, where he follows his shitty blogs that focus on his shitty fan characters.
- His new Tumblr, along with idiotic music 'that compliments his feels'.
- His shitty Silver blog where he tries to be Silver the Potleaf.
- Another damn Fan character blog!
[GOTTA GO FAST!]
| |||||
|
|
Axl Darkix is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |