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Longcat: Difference between revisions

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imported>WhyDoYouHateMe
Replaced content with "I am autistic you ableist trolls!"
imported>Glitchedblood
Reverted edits by WhyDoYouHateMe (talk) to last revision by CrackRabbit
Line 1: Line 1:
I am autistic you ableist trolls!
[[Image:Longcat.jpg|thumb|right|[[A cat is fine too|A looong cat is fine too.]]]]
{{FactCat|{{EDF|t|835|Longcat has fucking died}}}}
[[Image:Shiro (longcat).jpg|thumb|Another pic of Shiroi (Longcat). [[No|Isn't she adorable?]]]]
 
{|style="background-color: #FFFFCC; border: 2px solid #000000; padding: 1px;" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#FFFFCC| [[Image:Ruler.jpg|150px|none|]]
|style="padding:1px"|''<big>This [[article]] needs [[moar]] [[longcat|long]].</big><br><small> You can help by [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Longcat&action=edit adding moar long].</small>''
|}
 
One day, there was a picture of a cat. It was not [[Caturday]] but this specific [[cat]] was so long it became a [[meme]] and, though the day was not specifically the day of cats, this cat's length became famous. Originally derived from an image posted on [[2chan]] sometime between 2004 to 2005, it is a sacred meme that embodies the spirit of the [[lulz]], and has touched the hearts of every [[anonymous|anon]] and [[b/|/b/tard]] on the internets. All attempts made by [[Subeta|faggots who desire to]] [[Unwarranted self-importance|steal it from anon]] have earned the swift, unmerciful wrath of the [[Internet Hate Machine]].
 
Longcat is a real cat (obviously). For some reason when Longcat's uninspired owners named him, they must have overlooked the extremely fucking huge length of the kitten, and they named her after [[white| her second most defining feature]]. Therefore Longcat's real name is Shiroi (白い), which means "white" in Japanese. This may, however, be an [[azn]] [[mindfuck|mind game]] to confuse [[black]] people who believe they are the longest [[penis|members]] of the human species.
 
== The legend ==
 
[[Image:Death Longcat.jpg|thumb|Behold, the end of all that we know and love. The [[Marcab Confederacy]]'s Deathstar ''Longcat''.]]
[[Image:Longcat buildings.jpg|thumb|400px|center|An accurate depiction.]]
 
 
{{clear}}
 
<center><youtube>QBabkRmI7IE</youtube></center>
 
[[Image:Wtclongcat.jpg|thumb|Longcat did [[WTC]]]]
 
[[Image:Longcat_Pendulum.gif|thumb|Obey the Longcat]]
 
[[Noone]] knows how long Longcat actually is. The figure above gives an estimated length of 10,000 ft, [[lie|however this number has been verified]] by [[science]]. The most successful space mission to measure Longcat had to turn back and [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|recharge their lasers]] after just [[over 9000 |9000 feet and one inch]] in the air.
 
=== Possible Origin ===
 
There is a quote by [[Einstein]] that may have been the source of inspiration for this meme:
 
{{quote|You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.|[[Albert Einstein]]}}
 
== The prophecy ==
 
[[Image:Epic-LongBattle.jpg|thumb|It has been prophesied that during [[Catnarok]] Longcat will do epic battle with Tacgnol for the fate of the universe.]]
 
It is said that Longcat is part of a fursome of powerful cats that, when brought together, shall restore peace and harmony throughout the land.
 
{{quote|There shall be Four. One of Air, his fur white as snow. His power shall enlighten the masses, and herald the beginning. The second of Earth, black as the night. The darkness will be overwhelming, but do not fear! He has come as a harbinger of the goodness to come. The thrice appearance of a creature of great length, this one coloured as though wrapped in the very flame it represents, will appear to assuade our fears of the nigh end.Though it will be met with hate and loathing, it shall soldier on to aid us. The final, the fourth, shall emerge from the great oceans as though it was born of them, joining it's brothers and spreading harmony as it walks.
 
Together, the Four Felines will combine their great power, and summon a fifth, a creature of pure heart, radiant and beautiful. He, mighty and virile, will open the soul of all followers, and lead them to the land of ultimate delight. Never again will people have to buy dogs or get in their cars! No more will innocent yellow vans tremble at the approaching horde! The fruit of our reptilian labors will come, and feline power shall rule to cosmos!|[[Raptor Jesus]]}}
 
[[TL;DR]]
 
== The Longcat family ==
 
<center>
<gallery>
File:Shortcat.jpg|[[Shortcat]]
File:Tacgnol.jpg|[[Tacgnol]]
File:tactrohs.jpg|Tactrohs
File:Longtac Gnolcat.jpg|Longcat and Tacgnol. [[catnarok|Now we are one!]]
File:Long Horse 1.jpg|[[Longhorse]]
File:Long_horse.jpg|[[Longhorse]]
File:Longkip2.jpg|[[Mudkip|Longkip]]
File:WideDog.JPG|[[Fail|Widedog]]
File:Longrat - flower.jpg|[[Flower|Long'kat]]
File:Olngact1.JPG|[[Olngact]], Longcat's orange counterpart and one of the four cats prophesied by [[Raptor Jesus]]
File:OhExploitableLongcat.jpg|=|Longcat, [[OH EXPLOITABLE|exploitable]] edition
File:Longdog.jpg|[[A Cat Is Fine Too|A longdog is fine too]].
File:ExtraLongConey.jpg|Extra Long Coney is Extra Long - can Longcat defeat him?
File:HQ.jpg| A challenger appears!
File:BayeuxLongcat.png|[[Bayeux Tapestry|Yonder Beast!]]
File:Iphone 10 tallest iphone yet.jpg|[[Apple|Longphone]] for Longcat
File:Longcat stencil 1.jpg
File:Longcat sport.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
 
== Moar family?! ==
 
[[Image:More of Longcat!.jpg|thumb|The Longcat remix]]
Shortcat is closely related to Longcat, but what of his other family members? Recently a DNA test confirmed that Longcat is blood-related to the bastardized [[:Image:Shatcat.jpg|Shatcat]]
 
It is also a [[Some argue|well known fact]] that [[Binkers]] is son of longcat.
 
== Longcat facts ==
 
* Many [[n00b|new]] [[luser|user]]s speculate that Longcat cat is not lengthy, but it is in fact long.
* Longcat and [[Speedycat]] are not just dating but have actually had an offspring named [[Splongcat]].
* Longcat is the longest substance known to man.
 
{{cs|longcatascii| ASCII Longcat|
For your [[flood|flooding]] pleasure.
 
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</pre>
{{clear}}
|0}}
 
{{cs|longcatjsscript| Pouya's longcat generator|
 
[[File:Ascii longcat.png|thumb|Screencap]]
 
&#91;[http://htmledit.squarefree.com/ Real-time HTML Editor] &ndash; [http://jsfiddle.net/2tfq4u9g/ JSFiddle]&#93;
 
<pre>
<!--
 
  Modified version of:
  http://web.archive.org/web/20070310195813/http://lepouya.com/dhtml/longcat.html
 
-->
 
<head><title>Pouya's longcat generator</title></head>
    <body>
    <form id="catform" name="catform" action="#">
        <table border="1" align="center">
        <thead>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <font size="5">Pouya's longcat generator</font>
            </td></tr>
        </thead>
        <tbody>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                How long is longcat? <input type="text" name="lentext" id="lentext" size="8" value="1" onchange="generate();"/>
                <input type="submit" name="go" id="go" value="Go!" onclick="generate(); return false;" onsubmit="generate(); return false;"/>
            </td></tr>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <div id="res" name="res" style="width: 100%; text-align: left;">
                </div>
            </td></tr>
        </tbody>
        </table>
    </form>
    <script language="javascript">
        function generate()
        {
            var olentext = document.getElementById("lentext");
            var ores = document.getElementById("res");
            var l = Math.round(olentext.value), i;
            var res = "<pre>";
            res = res + "          /\\___/\\\n";
            res = res + "          /      \\\n";
            res = res + "        |  #    # |\n";
            res = res + "        \\    @  |\n";
            res = res + "          \\  _|_ /\n";
            res = res + "          /      \\_____\n";
            res = res + "        / _______ ___  \\\n";
            res = res + "        |______  \\  \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |    \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |      |\n";
            for (i=0; i<l; i++)
            res = res + "          |      |\n";
            res = res + "          /        \\\n";
            res = res + "        /  ____  \\\n";
            res = res + "        |  /    \\  |\n";
            res = res + "        | |      | |\n";
            res = res + "        /  |      |  \\\n";
            res = res + "        \\__/      \\__/\n";
                          ores.innerHTML = res + "&lt;/pre&gt;"
        }
        generate();
    </script>
    </body>
</html>
</pre>
|0}}
 
== Longcat is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong ==
 
{|cellspacing=6 align=center
||
{{Template:Bigpic|Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongcat.JPG|300|400|Longcat in its natural habitatz.}}
||
{{Template:Bigpic|Longercat.GIF|187|400|[[IRL]] Longcat}}
||
{{Template:Bigpic|Longcatbalrog.jpg|300|400|Longcat in a dark cave}}
|}
 
== Gallery ==
 
{{cg|Longallery is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong|longcatgallery|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Rule34Longcat.jpg|More RULE 3rty 4our
File:Longsquash.jpg|Even Halloween is not safe
File:longcatbeofgreatlength.jpg|Longcat be of great length!
File:Bayeux_tapestry_-_longcat_is_long.jpg
File:Longcatfr.jpg|Epic Longcat on [[Free Republic|Freerepublic.com]]
File:Godcat.jpg|Longcat is your god
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Longcat War.jpg
File:Longcat by j no.jpg
File:Longcatglass.jpg|Glass Longcat!
File:Longcatearthzm9.jpg|EARTH!
File:Longcatwindgs1.jpg|WIND!
File:Longcatfire.jpg|FIRE!
File:Longcatwaternz2.jpg|WATER!
File:Meowwars.gif|All [[Cats]] R saying: "[[IMMA_CHARGIN_MAH_LAZER|IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER]]!"
File:Longcathearthf8.jpg|HEART! By your powers combined, I am...
File:Longcatcaptainls2.jpg|CAPTAIN LONGCAT!
File:Catraid.jpg|Longcat merges its powers!
File:Inferno Cat.jpg|God help us...
File:Longcat fight!.jpg|[[A challenger appears]]!
File:Longcat rave.jpg
File:Longercat.GIF
File:3 headed longcat.jpg
File:Longcat by softmints.jpg|[[Rule 34]]
File:Loooooooooooooooooooongcat.jpg
File:Wtclongcat.jpg
File:Longcat temple.jpg|The Ancient Temple of Longcat
File:Longburster.gif|This will happen to you if you watch too much Furry porn
File:Longercat.jpg|[[Some argue]] that there are longer cats; these people are [[fail]]ures who cannot comprehend that the length of Longcat is the 12th dimension.
File:Unleash.jpg
File:Longcat_earthrize.jpg
File:Longcat_inthewoods.jpg
File:753138578lai8.jpg
File:Towercat.jpg
File:Easterlongcat.jpg|And on the third day, Longcat will arise from the dead -- AGAIN!
File:Gymcat.jpg
File:Longcat_Moonlanding.jpg|The Conspiracy is broken
File:Tablecat.jpg
File:Longcatbalrog.jpg|You SHALL...NOT...PASS!
File:Argonath_longcats.jpg
File:Longcatwiki.jpg
File:Longcat Stencil.png|Longcat Stencil for all your tagging purposes
File:Extended Feline by ShinjiHikari.jpg|Longcat stencil that wasn't just run through the Livetrace filter
File:Edcatislol.JPG|Edcat is LOL
File:Longkip.jpg|i think he liiiiiiiiiieks you too
File:Longcat In Paris.jpg
File:Looooongcat.gif
File:LONGCAT IS THE LONGEST.PNG|[[Wikipedia]] knows that Longcat is long (and the longest)
File:Longbot.jpg|Longbot is looooooong
File:Longcxat god.jpg
File:LONGJAP.jpg|A human challenger appears
File:jpg.jpg|He still looks wonderful to me
File:Longcat.parents.jpg|Rare artists' rendering of Longcat's parents
File:Longcat333.gif
File:Longcatchoko.jpg|Longcat: [[Japan]] version.
File:Epiclongcat.jpg|Epic Longcat on /b/
File:Komachan_Speedy_Long_Cat_.jpg|New [[Animu]] [[Speedycat|Speedy]][[Longcat|Long]][[Cats|Cat]]
File:longcatbadge.jpg|Badgecat... <s>[[DO WANT]]</s> [http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_type=tag_title&search_query=longcat CAN (almost) GET!!!]
File:longcatpaint.jpg|[[Goatse|all done on paint, took fucking hours but the result shows what you can achieve with hard work.]]
File:Longcatlb8.jpg
File:Longcat911lulzeu8.jpg|Longcat did 9/11
File:Little_box_long_cat.jpg|How fit?!
File:Longdick.jpg|Weeabootic Depiction of longness
File:Longcat-tshirt.jpg|Longshirt
File:Godspeedlongcat.jpg| Godspeed Longcat, godspeed.
File:THEPOWEROFLONGCAT_IS_STRONG_IN_THIS_ONE.JPG| This power is OVER9000...!
<!>File:Longcat_descending_from_the_sky.jpg|And Longcat descended from the Sky, and gave Lulz and Internetz to all /b/tards and Anons. And all was happiness<!>
File:Longcatchallenger.jpg|[http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101020/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_world_s_longest_cat A CHALLENGER APPEARS]
File:Worlds-tallest-cat-trouble.jpg|[http://mousebreath.com/2012/01/11/world-tallest-cat/ Another challenger appears!]
File:Donateplz.png|[[Encyclopedia_Dramatica:Donate|DOITFGT!]]
File:Long cat.gif
File:Longcatbuilding.jpg
File:Home-longcat.gif
File:Lcjapa.jpg
File:Cubic long cat.jpg
File:Longlonglong.jpg
File:Longcatcartoon1.jpg
File:ZombieCat.jpg
File:Longcatrocket.jpg
File:Shiroloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.jpg
File:Longcat Height.jpg
File:Longcatislooooong.jpg
File:DesignMyCard 003.png
File:DesignMyCard 004a.png
File:DesignMyCard 004c.png
File:Inlulz.jpg
File:Longcatearth.jpg
File:LCterror.png
File:Shorttacgnol.jpg
File:Longcat Batman.jpg
File:Longcat widedog framed.jpg
File:Longcat-protest.gif
File:Longcat_Caution.png
File:Longcat_lasers.jpg
File:Longcatcartoon2.jpg
File:Longcatcartoon3.jpg
File:Longcatcloud.jpg
File:Longcatclouddesu.jpg
File:Longcatisshort.JPG
File:Longcatwater.jpg
 
</gallery>}}
 
== See also ==
 
* [[Caturday]]
* [[The Caturday Revival]]
* [[Tacgnol]]
* [[Catnarok]]
* [[Shortcat]]
* [[Speedycat]]
* [[BIKECAT]]
* [[Fishing Cat]]
* [[Monorail Cat]]
* [[Essential Memes]]
* [[Longhorse]]
* [[Flower|Longrat]]
* [[:Image:Longpenis.gif|Longpenis]]
 
== External Links ==
* {{ws|longcat favicon.png|https://longcat.neocities.org/| Endless Longcat?}}
* [http://longcatthriller.ytmnd.com/ Longcat does thriller!]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=User:Blu_Aardvark/longcat.cow&action=raw&ctype=text/plain longcat cowfile] for [[cowsay]]
* [http://media.putfile.com/Longcat-is-loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong-96 Longcat is loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong]
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/459916 Longcat's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong]
* [http://twitter.com/h0 Longcat] @ twitter
* {{UkrED|Кіт|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
 
 
{{memes}}
{{cat}}
 
[[Category:Galleries]]
[[Category:Chans]]

Revision as of 17:41, 23 May 2022

A looong cat is fine too.
Fact Cat says:
Longcat has fucking died
Another pic of Shiroi (Longcat). Isn't she adorable?
This article needs moar long.
You can help by adding moar long.

One day, there was a picture of a cat. It was not Caturday but this specific cat was so long it became a meme and, though the day was not specifically the day of cats, this cat's length became famous. Originally derived from an image posted on 2chan sometime between 2004 to 2005, it is a sacred meme that embodies the spirit of the lulz, and has touched the hearts of every anon and /b/tard on the internets. All attempts made by faggots who desire to steal it from anon have earned the swift, unmerciful wrath of the Internet Hate Machine.

Longcat is a real cat (obviously). For some reason when Longcat's uninspired owners named him, they must have overlooked the extremely fucking huge length of the kitten, and they named her after her second most defining feature. Therefore Longcat's real name is Shiroi (白い), which means "white" in Japanese. This may, however, be an azn mind game to confuse black people who believe they are the longest members of the human species.

The legend

Behold, the end of all that we know and love. The Marcab Confederacy's Deathstar Longcat.
An accurate depiction.


Longcat did WTC
Obey the Longcat

Noone knows how long Longcat actually is. The figure above gives an estimated length of 10,000 ft, however this number has been verified by science. The most successful space mission to measure Longcat had to turn back and recharge their lasers after just 9000 feet and one inch in the air.

Possible Origin

There is a quote by Einstein that may have been the source of inspiration for this meme:

   
 
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
 

 
 

Albert Einstein

The prophecy

It has been prophesied that during Catnarok Longcat will do epic battle with Tacgnol for the fate of the universe.

It is said that Longcat is part of a fursome of powerful cats that, when brought together, shall restore peace and harmony throughout the land.

   
 
There shall be Four. One of Air, his fur white as snow. His power shall enlighten the masses, and herald the beginning. The second of Earth, black as the night. The darkness will be overwhelming, but do not fear! He has come as a harbinger of the goodness to come. The thrice appearance of a creature of great length, this one coloured as though wrapped in the very flame it represents, will appear to assuade our fears of the nigh end.Though it will be met with hate and loathing, it shall soldier on to aid us. The final, the fourth, shall emerge from the great oceans as though it was born of them, joining it's brothers and spreading harmony as it walks.

Together, the Four Felines will combine their great power, and summon a fifth, a creature of pure heart, radiant and beautiful. He, mighty and virile, will open the soul of all followers, and lead them to the land of ultimate delight. Never again will people have to buy dogs or get in their cars! No more will innocent yellow vans tremble at the approaching horde! The fruit of our reptilian labors will come, and feline power shall rule to cosmos!
 


 
 

Raptor Jesus

TL;DR

The Longcat family

Moar family?!

The Longcat remix

Shortcat is closely related to Longcat, but what of his other family members? Recently a DNA test confirmed that Longcat is blood-related to the bastardized Shatcat

It is also a well known fact that Binkers is son of longcat.

Longcat facts

  • Many new users speculate that Longcat cat is not lengthy, but it is in fact long.
  • Longcat and Speedycat are not just dating but have actually had an offspring named Splongcat.
  • Longcat is the longest substance known to man.

[-+] ASCII Longcat



For your flooding pleasure.

    /\___/\
   /       \
  |  #    # |
  \     @   |
   \   _|_ /
   /       \______
  / _______ ___   \
  |_____   \   \__/
   |    \__/
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   | THE   |
   | GAME  |
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   /        \
  /   ____   \
  |  /    \  |
  | |      | |
 /  |      |  \
 \__/      \__/

[-+] Pouya's longcat generator



Screencap

[Real-time HTML EditorJSFiddle]

<!--

   Modified version of:
   http://web.archive.org/web/20070310195813/http://lepouya.com/dhtml/longcat.html

-->

<head><title>Pouya's longcat generator</title></head>
    <body>
    <form id="catform" name="catform" action="#">
        <table border="1" align="center">
        <thead>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <font size="5">Pouya's longcat generator</font>
            </td></tr>
        </thead>
        <tbody>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                How long is longcat? <input type="text" name="lentext" id="lentext" size="8" value="1" onchange="generate();"/>
                <input type="submit" name="go" id="go" value="Go!" onclick="generate(); return false;" onsubmit="generate(); return false;"/>
            </td></tr>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <div id="res" name="res" style="width: 100%; text-align: left;">
                </div>
            </td></tr>
        </tbody>
        </table>
    </form>
    <script language="javascript">
        function generate()
        {
            var olentext = document.getElementById("lentext");
            var ores = document.getElementById("res");
            var l = Math.round(olentext.value), i;
            var res = "<pre>";
            res = res + "           /\\___/\\\n";
            res = res + "          /       \\\n";
            res = res + "         |  #    # |\n";
            res = res + "         \\     @   |\n";
            res = res + "          \\   _|_ /\n";
            res = res + "          /       \\_____\n";
            res = res + "         / _______ ___   \\\n";
            res = res + "        |______   \\   \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |    \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |       |\n";
            for (i=0; i<l; i++)
            res = res + "          |       |\n";
            res = res + "          /        \\\n";
            res = res + "         /   ____   \\\n";
            res = res + "         |  /    \\  |\n";
            res = res + "         | |      | |\n";
            res = res + "        /  |      |  \\\n";
            res = res + "        \\__/      \\__/\n";
                           ores.innerHTML = res + "</pre>"
        }
        generate();
    </script>
    </body>
</html>

Longcat is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

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Longcat in its natural habitatz.


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IRL Longcat


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Longcat in a dark cave


Gallery

Longallery is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External Links


Longcat is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Longcat is part of a series on Internet Cats

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