Cow/: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 05:40, 5 May 2016

Ever wish you could read the latest gossip about unimportant people with mental diseases? You know, like TMZ for autism? Not only are you a classy person, but you're in luck!

/cow/ is an imageboard dedicated to lolcows, but don't let that discourage you. On 8chan, the web's current top toxic slime pit, anything goes! You can write anything you want about anyone, and /cow/ is eager to hear it! Your furry ex-boyfriends and high school bullies instantly become laughingstocks in the victim's pillory!

A Brief History of Tism

Unlike similar boards such as /b/ and /i/, /cow/ hasn't drawn much media attention to itself, likely because everybody on /cwc/ shat their pants and did nothing. Having been created as a place to talk about a lolcow whose handlers restricted others from trolling him, /cwc/'s oldest users were accustomed to being spoon-fed by successful trolls. Anyone trying to troll Chris who was outside of the "inner circle" was considered to be cancer killing the board.

Eventually, Chris' trolling winded down, and /cwc/'s interests became more general. One-time curiosities became the center of /cwc/'s attention, leading to /cwc/ trolling lolcows on its own. The spergs were desperate for content and the trolls were desperate for an audience. The board's title was eventually changed to /cow/ to reflect the shift towards finding and trolling its own lolcows.

Like a disease, the board, either as /cwc/, /cow/, or /atf/, has continued to exist despite incompetent hosts and butthurt people doing everything in their power to wipe it out. It's been hosted on several imageboards over the years, most of which were closed after /cow/'s boiling autism splattered on its handlers. It remains as a place for spergs to shitpost about children's cartoons and armchair psychology while laughing at retards sticking things in their poopers.

Chans

/cwc/ and /cow/ have had several hosts, all of whom conveniently have articles!

Krapple Komputer Kompany

The first /cwc/ was created here by Krappleguy. It went offline because the administrator hosted terabytes of Hentai on its server.

legi0n

/cwc/ was briefly hosted by Medic, the only /cow/boy who has ever trolled CWC. When other people tried to troll him, he threatened to end trolling completely, starting a shitstorm that continued until the end of legi0n.

789chan

A charming man visiting the board took issue with owner SeanieB's friendship with IHM, unraveling a web of drama that ultimately led to 789chan's closure.

n0chan

Krappleguy recreated /cwc/ as /cow/. Its host mysteriously disappeared.

888chan

NekoArc closed 888chan as a favor for fellow transwoman Kat Hache, a writer famous for authoring over 45,500 tweets.

n0chan

n0chan returns, this time hosted by SpacePirate, someone from NekoArc's inner circle! What could go wrong? He used donations intended to pay for hosting to commission furry porn and closed it so he could focus on his dishwashing career.

8chan

The current host of the board did a fine job running Wizardchan. Surely this one will last!

/cow/boys

	“	/cow/ goes after "lolcows"- which means anyone who's low-status enough that you can rally against them, but also weak enough that you can make sport of them without getting in trouble. To put it bluntly, /cow/ is constitutionally disposed to engage only the softest of soft targets: 40-year-old homeless autistic men, non-passing mentally ill trannies, prepubescent children, and so on. Whether this is due to the low quality of persons who'd willingly spend time torturing the infirm or to forum posters' desire to hone the Fearless Nietzschean Gentleman is irrelevant.	„
	—Anonymous

The lurkers of /cow/ consider themselves experts on the high art of trolling in spite of the board exclusively punching down (or across). Its oldest users have posted on several iterations of the board because there is no cure for autism.

Beef with ED

/cow/ regularly dumps its garbage on our property, so ED dumps some garbage of its own.

Beef with the Kiwi Farms

/cow/boys have a longstanding beef with the Kiwi Farms, where over 5,000 people have written over 600,000 posts about Chris-chan. Kiwis--who /cow/boys lovingly call "foxdicks"--are believed to shitpost on /cow/ after being banned by Null.

To defend his flock from "cannibalism" by lolcow-hungry losers, Null advises all of the Kiwi Farms' new users to avoid using identifiers they use elsewhere so that trolls can't prove that they're exactly the sort of person they post about. /cow/ doesn't have this problem, of course--everyone's anonymous!

Beef with /pt/

Two /cow/boys trolled the first /pt/ so hard that it had to be put down.

Memes

File:Dm3x3XI.jpg

Like all imageboards, /cow/ has shitty in-jokes that make the board unbearable.

JULAY

The battle cry of an epic winner.

A-Logging

A form of troll shielding where one says how angry a lolcow makes them for giving people with their condition a bad name.

Milk

Because /cow/ has no presence on KnowYourMeme, newfags went to ED for guidance and now use this word to troll oldfags.

Alone on a Friday night?

God, they're pathetic.

Digging up Patti

A longtime staple (sometimes accompanied by the inclusion of a tranny hooker tasked with doing the deed), because apparently digging up Chris-chan's long dead dog is hilarious and innovative.

Lolcows

	“	Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me.	„
	—Chris-chan, digging up Patti

	“	a State of War exists between Kiwi Farms, 8chan /cow/ , Encyclopedia Dramatica, persons associated with the above said sites (to the henceforth referred to as The Axis) and the Nation of Ahuviya Harel Araujo for the self-defense of all Transgender Latin@ Women and making provisions to prosecute the same.	„
	—Ahuviya Harel

	“	i was literally told last night that i was an "insane maniac on that /cow/ site" and that he wouldn't want his dick to catch insanity	„
	—Robert Wayne Stiles

	“	They absolutely NEED to be removed from the Internet	„
	—Moleman9000

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Chris-chan
Ahuviya Harel
Robert Wayne Stiles
Moleman9000
Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
MylarBalloonFan
Jonathan Niehaus
Peter and Ashleigh Coffin

Christian Weston Chandler

/cow/ was originally created as /cwc/ by Krappleguy in 2009. Since then, exactly one /cow/boy has successfully trolled Chris-chan. One of his trolls reported that the board's edgy color scheme bothered him and that there were "too many words."

ADF-Fuensalida/Ahuviya Harel

Sovereign leader of the nation of Australatina, ADF has declared war on /cow/, ED, and the Kiwi Farms in retaliation for their attacks on transgender latin@ wymyn. /cwc/ could not successfully troll ADF, but they eventually discovered that one of his friends-turned-trolls had potential.

Robert Wayne Stiles

Rika Stiles is the board's lolcow in residence. /cow/ dumps everything Robb does into his already fucking huge ED article to make him mad, making it virtually unreadable and ultimately shitting up ED. Robb believes that he invented trolling by drawing pentagram graffiti in the women's bathroom of his middle school. He plans to seduce his foremost troll and become the queen of /cow/.

Moleman9000

Gabriel Navarro is Dave Navarro's explosive half-brother who /cow/ is trolling off of the Internet. He demands capital punishment for cyberbullying, which is a crime. He achieved brief notability on ED for adding a persuasive argument for deletion to his article while blanking it, leading to its feature.

Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto

Anthony LoGatto is a fanfiction author and anime fandubber who knows how to stuff a turkey. On /cow/, he insists that Chris-chan must be punished for giving men with Aspergers a bad name.

MylarBalloonFan

Samuel Peterson is a high functioning autistic "nineties kid" and mylar balloon fetishist who occasionally posts on /cow/ and vandalizes his own article. He believes that the 90s were the golden age of human history and documents his reasoning on his YouTube channels.

Jonathan Niehaus

Jonathan "Zoojay" Niehaus is a zoophile producer of dance music best known for the hit single "Husky Cock." His article was momentarily removed by mistake, causing local retards to claim that ED "has really gotten soft" and "has been complete garbage for years."

Peter Coffin

Peter Coffin is an award-winning web comedian whose wife is the target of an ongoing misogynist harassment campaign. Please donate to his Patreon for his wife's jaw surgery. Also, please buy Amazon products through his referral links. Please, just give him money!

Trolling /cow/

Impersonate a popular lolcow.

A troll pretending to be an attorney sent hotwheels a shitty cease and desist order. Hotwheels posted it on /cow/, Mike Cernovitch published it on his blog, and Milo Yiannopoulos retweeted it, causing GamerGate to use the #PeterCoffinWasRight hashtag to celebrate how "inept" its enemies are.

Derail a thread with any political topic.
Use two or more cow metaphors in a post.
Remind them that ED is organized, and doesn't have wordfilters or a page limit.

External links

/cow/ at 8chan

Cow/ is part of a series on

Chans

Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{DISPLAYTITLE:/cow/}}
 [[File:CWC789.jpg|right|300px]]
 Ever wish you could read the latest gossip about [[You|unimportant people with mental diseases]]? You know, like ''[[TMZ]]'' for [[autism]]? Not only are you [[Pathetic|a classy person]], but you're in luck!
-'''/cow/''' is an [[imageboard]] dedicated to [[lolcow]]s, but don't let that discourage you. On [[8ch.net|8chan]], [https://archive.is/88Pwm#selection-4389.391-4395.123 the web's current top toxic slime pit,] anything goes! [[I seriously hope you guys don't do this|You can write anything you want about anyone]], and /cow/ is [[Not your personal army|eager to hear it]]! Your furry ex-boyfriends and high school bullies instantly become laughingstocks in [http://tweetsave.com/cernowatch/status/561243653327556608 the victim's pillory!]
+'''/cow/''' is an [[imageboard]] dedicated to [[lolcow]]s, but don't let that discourage you. On [[8chan]], [https://archive.is/88Pwm#selection-4389.391-4395.123 the web's current top toxic slime pit], anything goes! [[I seriously hope you guys don't do this|You can write anything you want about anyone]], and /cow/ is [[Not your personal army|eager to hear it]]! Your furry ex-boyfriends and high school bullies instantly become laughingstocks in [http://tweetsave.com/cernowatch/status/561243653327556608 the victim's pillory!]
 ==A Brief History of Tism==
-[[File:Epic ween trollan.jpg|thumb|right|"Guys, let's hire a [[tranny]] [[hooker]] to dig up Patti!"]]
+[[File:Epic ween trollan.jpg|thumb|"Guys, let's hire a [[tranny]] [[hooker]] to dig up Patti!"]]
 Unlike similar boards such as /b/ and /i/, /cow/ hasn't drawn much media attention to itself, likely because everybody on /cwc/ [[Incontinent Student Bodies|shat their pants]] and [[NEET|did nothing]]. Having been created as a place to talk about [[Chris-chan|a lolcow whose handlers restricted others from trolling him]], /cwc/'s oldest users were accustomed to being spoon-fed by successful trolls. Anyone trying to troll Chris who was outside of the "inner circle" was considered to be [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|cancer killing the board]].
@@ Line 14: / Line 17: @@
 ==Chans==
 /cwc/ and /cow/ have had several hosts, [[Krappleguy|all]] [[Ickeriss69|of]] [[SeanieB|whom]] [[NekoArc|conveniently]] [[Wizardchan#Copypaste loses his Mana|have]] [[8ch.net#Hotwheels The Janitor|articles]]!
 ===Krapple Komputer Kompany===
 The first /cwc/ was created here by [[Krappleguy]]. It went offline because the administrator hosted terabytes of Hentai on its server.
 ===[[legi0n]]===
 /cwc/ was briefly hosted by [[Ickeriss69|Medic]], the only /cow/boy who has ever trolled [[Chris-chan|CWC]]. When other people tried to troll him, [[Ickeriss69#"Hey Guys I Intentionally Christian Weston Chandler"|he threatened to end trolling completely]], starting a shitstorm that continued until [[Legi0n#The End of Legi0n?|the end of legi0n]].
 ===[[789chan]]===
 [[phobos|A charming man]] visiting the board [[789chan#The Phobos "Affaire"|took issue]] with owner [[SeanieB]]'s friendship with [[IHM]], unraveling a web of drama that ultimately led to 789chan's closure.
 ===n0chan===
 Krappleguy recreated /cwc/ as '''/cow/'''. Its host [[Missing White Womyn Syndrome|mysteriously disappeared]].
 ===[[888chan]]===
 [[NekoArc]] closed 888chan as a favor for fellow transwoman Kat Hache, a writer famous for authoring [https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=45%2C500+tweets+*+140+characters+per+tweet over 45,500 tweets.]
 ===n0chan===
 n0chan returns, this time hosted by SpacePirate, someone from NekoArc's inner circle! What could go wrong? He used donations intended to pay for hosting to commission furry porn and closed it so he could focus on his dishwashing career.
 ===[[8ch.net|8chan]]===
 The current host of the board did a fine job running [[Wizardchan]]. Surely this one will last!
 ==/cow/boys==
-[[File:Cwc on cwc.png|thumb|right|Yeah, it's ''exactly'' like that.]]
+[[File:Cwc on cwc.png|thumb|Yeah, it's ''exactly'' like that.]]
 {{quote
 |/cow/ goes after "lolcows"- which means anyone who's low-status enough that you can rally against them, but also weak enough that you can make sport of them without getting in trouble.<br />
 To put it bluntly, /cow/ is constitutionally disposed to engage only the softest of soft targets: 40-year-old homeless autistic men, non-passing mentally ill trannies, prepubescent children, and so on. Whether this is due to the low quality of persons who'd willingly spend time torturing the infirm or to forum posters' desire to hone the Fearless Nietzschean Gentleman is irrelevant.|[http://8archive.moe/cow/thread/86678#86852 Anonymous]}}
-The lurkers of /cow/ consider themselves experts on the [[Troll#Trolling is a art|high art of trolling]] in spite of the board exclusively punching down ([[Troll shielding|or across]]). Its oldest users have posted on [[Encyclopædia_Dramatica#URL_history|several iterations]] of the board because there is no cure for [[autism]].
+The lurkers of /cow/ consider themselves experts on the [[Troll#Trolling is a art|high art of trolling]] in spite of the board exclusively punching down ([[Troll shielding|or across]]). Its oldest users have posted on [[Encyclopædia Dramatica#URL history|several iterations]] of the board because there is no cure for [[autism]].
 ===Beef with ED===
-[[File:EDisBad.png|thumb|right|"ED has become [[ED:TRU|what it hates!]]"]]
+[[File:EDisBad.png|thumb|"ED has become [[ED:TRU|what it hates]]!"]]
 /cow/ regularly dumps [[Nick Bate|its garbage]] on our property, so ED [[789chan#Assfrustrated 2.0 The Future of Mad|dumps some garbage of its own]].
 ===Beef with the Kiwi Farms===
 /cow/boys have a [[Legi0n#CWCki|longstanding]] [https://kiwifar.ms/threads/dear-null.4153/ beef] with the [[Kiwi Farms]], where [https://kiwifar.ms/threads/all-of-you.3643/ over 5,000 people have written over 600,000 posts] about [[Chris-chan]]. Kiwis--who /cow/boys lovingly call "[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto#A-Log's Fanfiction|foxdicks]]"--are believed to shitpost on /cow/ after being banned by [[Ichverbot|Null]].
@@ Line 55: / Line 71: @@
 ===Beef with /pt/===
 Two /cow/boys [[Lolcow.farm#History|trolled the first /pt/ so hard that it had to be put down]].
 ==Memes==
-[[File:Dm3x3XI.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]
-Like all imageboards, /cow/ has shitty in-jokes that [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/#Forced_Memes|make the board unbearable]].
+[[File:Dm3x3XI.jpg|thumb|250px]]
+Like all imageboards, /cow/ has shitty in-jokes that [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/#Forced Memes|make the board unbearable]].
 ;[[Chris-chan/SexScandal2|JULAY]]
 The battle cry of an [[Epic Ween|epic winner]].
@@ Line 72: / Line 91: @@
 ==Lolcows==
 <center>{{morphquote|lolcowsoncow|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: bold;
 |Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me.|[[Chris-chan]], digging up Patti
@@ Line 90: / Line 110: @@
 ===[[Chris-chan|Christian Weston Chandler]]===
 /cow/ was [[Original character|originally created]] as '''/cwc/''' by [[Krappleguy]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20090324035737/http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/_cwc/?reply=1 in 2009]. Since then, [[Ickeriss69|exactly one]] /cow/boy has successfully trolled Chris-chan. One of his trolls reported that the board's [[Baphomet|edgy color scheme]] bothered him and that there were "too many words."
 ===[[ADF-Fuensalida]]/[[Ahuviya Harel]]===
 Sovereign leader of the nation of [[ADF-Fuensalida#Australatina|Australatina]], ADF has [https://archive.is/5SLna declared war on /cow/, ED, and the Kiwi Farms] in retaliation for [[Fiction|their attacks]] on [[transgender]] [[What|latin@]] [[Shemale|wymyn]]. /cwc/ could not successfully troll ADF, but they eventually discovered that [[Rika#Return of the Lolcow: Transtastic Boogaloo|one of his friends-turned-trolls had potential]].
 ===[[Robert Wayne Stiles]]===
 Rika Stiles is the board's lolcow in residence. /cow/ dumps everything Robb does into [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Good Joke:Word Count Ratio|his already fucking huge ED article]] to make him mad, making it virtually unreadable and ultimately shitting up ED. Robb believes that he invented trolling by drawing pentagram graffiti in the women's bathroom of his middle school. He plans to seduce his foremost troll and become the queen of /cow/.
 ===[[Moleman9000]]===
 Gabriel Navarro is Dave Navarro's explosive half-brother who /cow/ is [[Ragequit|trolling off of the Internet]]. He demands capital punishment for [[cyberbullying]], which [[Lie|is a crime]]. He achieved brief notability on ED for adding [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/index.php?title=Moleman9000&oldid=613765 a persuasive argument] for deletion to his article while blanking it, leading to its [[Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/January 15, 2014|feature]].
 ===[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]===
 Anthony LoGatto is a fanfiction author and anime fandubber who [[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto/Fanfiction/The World's Luckiest Guy|knows how to stuff a turkey]]. On /cow/, he insists that [[Chris-chan]] must be punished for giving men with [[Aspergers]] a bad name.
 ===[[MylarBalloonFan]]===
-Samuel Peterson is a [[High Functioning Autism|high functioning autistic]] "nineties kid" and [[Sick fuck|mylar balloon fetishist]] who occasionally posts on /cow/ and [[Vandalism _is pointless|vandalizes his own article]]. He believes that the 90s were the golden age of human history and documents his [[autism|reasoning]] on his YouTube channels.
+Samuel Peterson is a [[High Functioning Autism|high functioning autistic]] "nineties kid" and [[Sick fuck|mylar balloon fetishist]] who occasionally posts on /cow/ and [[Vandalism is pointless|vandalizes his own article]]. He believes that the 90s were the golden age of human history and documents his [[autism|reasoning]] on his YouTube channels.
 ===[[Jonathan Niehaus]]===
 Jonathan "Zoojay" Niehaus is a [[Furfag#Feralfur Fuckers|zoophile]] producer of [[Raver#Rave music|dance music]] best known for the hit single "[http://8archive.moe/foolfuuka/boards/cow/image/1423/61/1423617949157.webm Husky Cock]." His article was [http://8archive.moe/cow/thread/51623/#51676 momentarily removed by mistake], causing [[#Beef with ED|local retards]] to claim that ED "has really gotten soft" and "has been complete garbage for years."
 ===[[Peter Coffin]]===
 Peter Coffin is an [[Darwin Awards|award-winning]] web comedian whose [[Peter Coffin#/cow/ discovers the "Ashleigh" doll model|wife]] is the target of [[GamerGate|an ongoing misogynist harassment campaign]]. Please donate to his [[Patreon]] for his wife's jaw surgery. Also, please buy Amazon products through [http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AIDNNQC/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00H5V9S6E&linkCode=as2&tag=petecoff-20&linkId=AX5KHRGQWH6NDQTN his referral links]. Please, just give him money!
 ==Trolling /cow/==
 * Impersonate a popular lolcow.
 : A troll pretending to be an attorney sent hotwheels a shitty [[cease and desist]] order. Hotwheels posted it on /cow/, Mike Cernovitch [https://archive.is/pRlcG published it on his blog], and [[Milo Yiannopoulos]] [http://tweetsave.com/nero/status/560378127281844224 retweeted it],  causing [[GamerGate]] to use the [https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PeterCoffinWasRight #PeterCoffinWasRight hashtag] to celebrate [[Irony|how "inept" its enemies are]].
@@ Line 121: / Line 150: @@
 ==See also==
 * [[Baphomet|/baphomet/]], /cow/'s [[Incest|little sister]]
 * [[Lolcow.farm|/pt/]], /cow/'s [[cosplay]]ing [[Mai Waifu|waifu]]
-* [[I/|/i/]], what [[newfags]] think /cow/ is
+* [[i/|/i/]], what [[newfags]] think /cow/ is
+== External links ==
+* [http://8ch.net/cow/index.html /cow/] at [[8chan]]
 {{chans}}

Cow/: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 05:40, 5 May 2016

Contents

A Brief History of Tism