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DotA 2: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Dota 2 Logo.jpg|right|thumb|Official logo of Valve's game]]
[[File:Dota 2 Logo.jpg|right|thumb|Official logo of Valve's game]]
In a ripoff of the original [[Warcraft 3]] Mod, Valve has [[Apple|taken IP that isn't there's, made no noticeable changes, and created a massive game with little to no effort]]. What's essentially nothing more than an engine update for the original [[DotA]] with [[Tf2|hats]], Valve has made its most popular game. Enter '''Defense of the Ancients 2'''. An inferior version of [[League of Legends|League of Lesbians]] with 15 years worth of antiquated engine [[bullshit|nuance]], [[It's not a bug, it's a feature|depth]], and [[Reddit|balance changes]] to the point where it takes years of playing and constantly monitoring dev posts in order to understand the basic mechanics of how a single spell works, if it works as intended. It's okay, though, since the game is still in beta and has been for 6 years. Individual games are full of unseen amounts of [[rage]], desperate attempts at [[edge]]lording and players losing games trying meme builds they found on [[Reddit]] and [[Youtube]]. Save the time and play [[League of Legends|League]].
In a ripoff of the original [[Warcraft 3]] Mod, Valve has [[Apple|taken IP that isn't there's, made no noticeable changes, and created a massive game with little to no effort]]. What's essentially nothing more than an engine update for the original [[DotA]] with [[Tf2|hats]], Valve has made its most popular game. Enter '''Defense of the Ancients 2'''. An inferior version of [[League of Legends|League of Lesbians]] with 15 years worth of antiquated engine [[bullshit|nuance]], [[It's not a bug, it's a feature|depth]], and [[Reddit|balance changes]] to the point where it takes years of playing and constantly monitoring dev posts in order to understand the basic mechanics of how a single spell works, if it works as intended. It's okay, though, since the game is still in beta and has been for 6 years. Individual games are full of unseen amounts of [[rage]], desperate attempts at [[edge]]lording and players losing games trying meme builds they found on [[Reddit]] and [[Youtube]]. Save the time and play [[League of Legends|League]].
__TOC__
The learning curve of DotA 2 and DotA in general is wider than the diameter of UY Scuti (largest known star, diameter 2,375,828,000 km, fuck you). The only way you can learn this game is by dedicating your life to DotA, killing your family so they won't disturb your existence and building yourself a tube-like-device that will force feed you oatmeal so you will never have to move away from your computer. Also popular in the community is to dig a whole right next your monitor to shit and piss directly into it, if the smell is to bad, block the whole with the dead bodies of your family members which you previously murdered.


==Notable Heroes==
==Notable Heroes==
<!--
Nobody plays Visage. Go away.
-->
===Anti-Mage===
===Anti-Mage===
The self-loathing [[Queer]] of wizarding, Anti-Mage, A.K.A. [[Mangina]] or Anti-Fun, in [[typical]] depth of lore fashion, hates Magic. He hates it so much that his spells revolve around fucking over [[everybody|magic users]] by [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|drainging mana]], then [[irony|casting a spell to do damage based on mana drained]].
The self-loathing [[Queer]] of wizarding, Anti-Mage, A.K.A. [[Mangina]] or Anti-Fun, in [[typical]] depth of lore fashion, hates Magic. He hates it so much that his spells revolve around fucking over [[everybody|magic users]] by [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|drainging mana]], then [[irony|casting a spell to do damage based on mana drained]].
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===Sir Action Slacks===
===Sir Action Slacks===
Walking proof that nothing good ever comes from [[Patreon|crowdfunding]], {{YTUser|SirActionSlacks1|Slacks}} is a [[meme]]-spewing literal giant, Slacks gained DotA 2 notoriety through [[YouTube]] and [[Reddit]] [[e-begging]] when his computer broke down, only to make thousands of [[irl]] dollars and spend it all flying his girlfriend to the International and a green screen. He's currently a host at Valve's events since they need somebody as [[retard]]ed as the community who's also tall enough to hold the boom mics over the interviewee's heads, and Sheever can only be in one place at a time.
Walking proof that nothing good ever comes from [[Patreon|crowdfunding]], {{YTUser|SirActionSlacks1|Slacks}} is a [[meme]]-spewing literal giant, Slacks gained DotA 2 notoriety through [[YouTube]] and [[Reddit]] [[e-begging]] when his computer broke down, only to make thousands of [[irl]] dollars and spend it all flying his girlfriend to the International and a green screen. He's currently a host at Valve's events since they need somebody as [[retard]]ed as the community who's also tall enough to hold the boom mics over the interviewee's heads, and Sheever can only be in one place at a time.
===Na'Vi===
A team composed entirely of a single mid player, Dendi, Na'Vi has been completely gutted of its former [[glory hole|glory]] leaving only the has-been Dendi, from [[Russia|Ukraine]] to be invited to every major valve even and be eliminated immediately. Despite their terrible play, many fans who are too [[casual]] to follow the scene believe them to be the best because they won a large event 4 years ago.
{|style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{Videoframe|vf1|background-color:#FFFFFF|font-weight:bold;
|<center><youtube>aUSmK5Q7RkI</youtube>
;Behold the retardation.</center>
|<center><youtube>CDfw1TNGkGs</youtube>
;Behold the retardation, again.</center>
|<center><youtube>FU3_cMmxxTU</youtube>
;Obviously hilarious.</center>
|<center><youtube>6ebhXPdTwcQ</youtube>
;Reason to beat your kids.</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFF}}
|}


===Pyrion Flax===
===Pyrion Flax===
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===Sheever===
===Sheever===
She has a [[vag]]. She doesn't have a sense of humor, knowledge of the game, an understandable accent, or a likable personality, but she has a vag and you have to have one of those on panels or people find something else to [[fap|masturbate]] to.
She has a [[vag]]. She doesn't have a sense of humor, knowledge of the game, an understandable accent, or a likable personality, but she has a vag and you have to have one of those on panels or people find something else to [[fap|masturbate]] to.
==The Community==
[[File:Dota 2 remember no english 02.jpg|thumb|right|Pretty much sums up Valve's policy on server regions.]]
DotA 2 is known for the worst community in the history of gaming and mankind. Besides the [[Russian]] [[cancer]] that devoured 80% of the game, the community is completely made out of [[13-year-old boy|13-year-old boys]], [[Basement-dweller|basement-dwellers]], [[Neckbeard|neckbearded fucks]], [[Faggot|faggots]] (not to be confused with closet homosexual teenagers), closet homosexual teenagers, [[Russia|russians of all age and shape]], [[Attention Whore|attention whores]] and worst of all, [[You|you]]. If you expect to make friends in this game, think again asshole. Immediately after the match started, people will hate you for picking the wrong hero, picking the wrong items, picking the wrong abilities and picking the wrong lane, subsequently calling you every swear word imaginably. They will bash you, your family, everyone and everything you cared for, all this and more when they announce your existence to the enemy team, who joins in the bashing and eventually everyone will report your dumbass, most of the time falsely, so you will get low priority next time you search for a match. If you're lucky, you will discover the mute buttons and survive the ordeal, but as the nitwit wanker you are, that's probably not gonna happen. All this will probably transcend at around minute 1, 1 and a half, if you're still in game, you will proceed to get continuously gangbanged by the enemy team, because your own team informed them of your position, after that be prepared for more bashing and humiliating chants now mixed with spam from map signals and homoerotic drawings on the minimap.
{{quote|I am a Russian and I can explain why Russians so bad. Sorry for my bad English. Nearly 80% of Russian DotA players are kids 10-16 years old, so kids kinda don't give a fuck about team playing. They are just stupid kids and think that no one can hurt them in real life if they will do wrong things in internet so they doing what they want. In Russia since Dota 1 every kid played this game in school IT chambers or internet-cafe. DotA 1 was the most popular internet game in Russia after Counter Strike.|A brief history lesson on how the Russian cancer started}}
It's literally impossible to avoid playing with Russians on European servers and Peruvians on American, since no one will IP block them to their godforsaken zone and simply [[retarded|pick every available region]] for faster queues. Thus, you're inescapably compelled to play with these international parasites. Since playing with brain dead chauvinistic dipshits is mandatory, you will sooner or later suffer the consequences of opening your mouth to oppose the Russian and Peruvian idiocy you will surely experience. Enjoy having a party of 4 wetbacks report you into low-priority and mutes for not speaking the primary language of your server. Welcome to DotA. It sucks.
{|style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{Videoframe|vf2|background-color:#FFFFFF|font-weight:bold;
|<center><youtube>9qbp2F-wN5M</youtube>
;Russians pretty much summed up.</center>
|<center><youtube>-SfOwvTmIxU</youtube>
;Russians pretty much summed up, again.</center>
|<center><youtube>uBZy34iwVjw</youtube>
;Why buying a life should be a top priority.</center>
|<center><youtube>xPMbebifo1k</youtube>
;The delight of foreigners.</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFF}}
|}


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
Line 42: Line 98:
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Dota2prepareyouranus.png|Ganking in the jungle.
File:Dota2prepareyouranus.png|Ganking in the jungle.
File:Itscalledota2 02.jpg|Spoink!
File:Dota2r34.jpg|Crystal Meth & Fire Bimbo zoning each other. The only reason why anyone plays this shit
File:Pudge.jpg|Never listen to your teammates, EVER.
File:Pudge.jpg|Never listen to your teammates, EVER.
File:Rycfis.png|Ice mages have their problems, too.
File:Rycfis.png|Ice mages have their problems, too.

Revision as of 17:43, 16 June 2016

Official logo of Valve's game

In a ripoff of the original Warcraft 3 Mod, Valve has taken IP that isn't there's, made no noticeable changes, and created a massive game with little to no effort. What's essentially nothing more than an engine update for the original DotA with hats, Valve has made its most popular game. Enter Defense of the Ancients 2. An inferior version of League of Lesbians with 15 years worth of antiquated engine nuance, depth, and balance changes to the point where it takes years of playing and constantly monitoring dev posts in order to understand the basic mechanics of how a single spell works, if it works as intended. It's okay, though, since the game is still in beta and has been for 6 years. Individual games are full of unseen amounts of rage, desperate attempts at edgelording and players losing games trying meme builds they found on Reddit and Youtube. Save the time and play League.

The learning curve of DotA 2 and DotA in general is wider than the diameter of UY Scuti (largest known star, diameter 2,375,828,000 km, fuck you). The only way you can learn this game is by dedicating your life to DotA, killing your family so they won't disturb your existence and building yourself a tube-like-device that will force feed you oatmeal so you will never have to move away from your computer. Also popular in the community is to dig a whole right next your monitor to shit and piss directly into it, if the smell is to bad, block the whole with the dead bodies of your family members which you previously murdered.


Notable Heroes

Anti-Mage

The self-loathing Queer of wizarding, Anti-Mage, A.K.A. Mangina or Anti-Fun, in typical depth of lore fashion, hates Magic. He hates it so much that his spells revolve around fucking over magic users by drainging mana, then casting a spell to do damage based on mana drained.

Goblin Techies

If you're not playing Techies right, you're playing techies wrong.

The only heterosexual hero, Goblin Techies are a group of 3 heroes who plant mines, plant mines, plant mines, and show their praise to glorious Allah by exploding themselves on other heroes. This hero's most notable for being the single best hero in the game to piss off players on both teams. You can fuck with players by placing mines in completely random areas they don't expect regardless of how effective, buying a force staff to punish them for trying to de-mine and instantly exploding, and by being a complete worthless sack of shit to your own team

SKELETON Wraith KING

THE TRUE ONE-BUTTON KING DOES NOT NEED SPELLS. HE HAS A SINGLE STUN THREE PASSIVES AND IT IS ALL YOU NEED TO WIN. BOW BEFORE A TRUE SKILLCAP-BASED HERO, PEASANT. VALVE WAS THREATENED WITH LAWLSUITS BY BLIZZARD FOR USING LEORIC THE SKELTEON KING SO THEY PUSSIED OUT AND MADE HIM A LITTLE BITCH WITH TOGGLES. MAYBE NEXT PATCH THEY'LL LET YOU TOGGLE OFF HIS REINCARNATION AND KILL HIMSELF.

Phoenix

SCREE KAW HAHA SQUARK KAKAAAAAW I'M A BIRD

Personalities

Kevin "Purge" Godec

Known primarily for his intro-to-DotA, "Welcome to DotA, You suck", Template:YTUser is known for being a terrible, terrible player, but trying to teach noobs how mechanics work.

Sir Action Slacks

Walking proof that nothing good ever comes from crowdfunding, Template:YTUser is a meme-spewing literal giant, Slacks gained DotA 2 notoriety through YouTube and Reddit e-begging when his computer broke down, only to make thousands of irl dollars and spend it all flying his girlfriend to the International and a green screen. He's currently a host at Valve's events since they need somebody as retarded as the community who's also tall enough to hold the boom mics over the interviewee's heads, and Sheever can only be in one place at a time.

Na'Vi

A team composed entirely of a single mid player, Dendi, Na'Vi has been completely gutted of its former glory leaving only the has-been Dendi, from Ukraine to be invited to every major valve even and be eliminated immediately. Despite their terrible play, many fans who are too casual to follow the scene believe them to be the best because they won a large event 4 years ago.

Behold the retardation.
Behold the retardation, again.
Obviously hilarious.
Reason to beat your kids.

Previous Video | Next Video

Pyrion Flax

Template:YTUser was about as much of a DotA personality as DotA is a professional Sport. Nobody ever liked him, his content wasn't funny or relevant, and he sounds and looks like Fran Drescher fucked a Walrus. Known for making "Guides" in MS Paint and crying about every spell a hero has rather than actual guides.

Sheever

She has a vag. She doesn't have a sense of humor, knowledge of the game, an understandable accent, or a likable personality, but she has a vag and you have to have one of those on panels or people find something else to masturbate to.

The Community

Pretty much sums up Valve's policy on server regions.

DotA 2 is known for the worst community in the history of gaming and mankind. Besides the Russian cancer that devoured 80% of the game, the community is completely made out of 13-year-old boys, basement-dwellers, neckbearded fucks, faggots (not to be confused with closet homosexual teenagers), closet homosexual teenagers, russians of all age and shape, attention whores and worst of all, you. If you expect to make friends in this game, think again asshole. Immediately after the match started, people will hate you for picking the wrong hero, picking the wrong items, picking the wrong abilities and picking the wrong lane, subsequently calling you every swear word imaginably. They will bash you, your family, everyone and everything you cared for, all this and more when they announce your existence to the enemy team, who joins in the bashing and eventually everyone will report your dumbass, most of the time falsely, so you will get low priority next time you search for a match. If you're lucky, you will discover the mute buttons and survive the ordeal, but as the nitwit wanker you are, that's probably not gonna happen. All this will probably transcend at around minute 1, 1 and a half, if you're still in game, you will proceed to get continuously gangbanged by the enemy team, because your own team informed them of your position, after that be prepared for more bashing and humiliating chants now mixed with spam from map signals and homoerotic drawings on the minimap.

   
“ 		 
I am a Russian and I can explain why Russians so bad. Sorry for my bad English. Nearly 80% of Russian DotA players are kids 10-16 years old, so kids kinda don't give a fuck about team playing. They are just stupid kids and think that no one can hurt them in real life if they will do wrong things in internet so they doing what they want. In Russia since Dota 1 every kid played this game in school IT chambers or internet-cafe. DotA 1 was the most popular internet game in Russia after Counter Strike.
  		„
  		 

—A brief history lesson on how the Russian cancer started

It's literally impossible to avoid playing with Russians on European servers and Peruvians on American, since no one will IP block them to their godforsaken zone and simply pick every available region for faster queues. Thus, you're inescapably compelled to play with these international parasites. Since playing with brain dead chauvinistic dipshits is mandatory, you will sooner or later suffer the consequences of opening your mouth to oppose the Russian and Peruvian idiocy you will surely experience. Enjoy having a party of 4 wetbacks report you into low-priority and mutes for not speaking the primary language of your server. Welcome to DotA. It sucks.

Russians pretty much summed up.
Russians pretty much summed up, again.
Why buying a life should be a top priority.
The delight of foreigners.

Previous Video | Next Video

DotA comics n' stuff About missing Pics
  • You just don't understand!
    You just don't understand!
  • HUEHUEHUE
    HUEHUEHUE
  • Flawed character design.
    Flawed character design.
  • You're gonna get raped.
    You're gonna get raped.
  • It gets better ... eventually.
    It gets better ... eventually.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Ganking in the jungle.
    Ganking in the jungle.
  • Spoink!
    Spoink!
  • Crystal Meth & Fire Bimbo zoning each other. The only reason why anyone plays this shit
    Crystal Meth & Fire Bimbo zoning each other. The only reason why anyone plays this shit
  • Never listen to your teammates, EVER.
    Never listen to your teammates, EVER.
  • Ice mages have their problems, too.
    Ice mages have their problems, too.
  • This is how it usually goes.
    This is how it usually goes.
  • RUS?
    RUS?
  • How a DotA match usually goes.
    How a DotA match usually goes.
  • DotA vs LoL
    DotA vs LoL
  • How to kill your friendships, DotA style!
    How to kill your friendships, DotA style!
  • DotA vs LoL - 2
    DotA vs LoL - 2
  • GOTTA GO FAST!
    GOTTA GO FAST!
  • The normal reaction of a LoL player.
    The normal reaction of a LoL player.
  • Void's diary.
    Void's diary.
  • R.I.P.
    R.I.P.
  • The evolution of GG.
    The evolution of GG.
  • XAXAXA!
    XAXAXA!
  • OH FUCK NO!!!
    OH FUCK NO!!!
  • Rule34 strikes again
    Rule34 strikes again
  • The DotA community is lovely.
    The DotA community is lovely.

See Also

DotA 2 is part of a series on

Gaming

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