Battle of Berkeley: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 00:46, 17 April 2017

Battle of Berkeley

Part of Making America Great Again

Fighting on the ground of Berkeley

Date	April 15, 2017
Location	Berkeley, California
Result	Decisive American victory Antifa withdrawal to mom's basement Communists humiliated Beginning of Race War

Belligerents

Antifa
Open Society
Professors

Commanders and Leaders

George Soros
Moldylocks

Donald Trump
Pepe
Nathan Damigo

Strength

About 650 Antifa

Between 300 and 1488 Patriots

Casualties and losses

At least 1 hairy Antifa punched
9001 psychiatric casualties

At least 3 patriots attacked with bike locks
casualties from pepper spray

Materials

1 safe space, 1 bike-lock

1 fist

	“	The fascists of the future will be called anti-fascists	„
	—Winston Churchill, allegedly

UC Berkeley, the safest school in America, and the crown jewel of the University of California, Known as the ultra-liberal epicenter of the liberal shithole known as Mexifornia. Within this setting, a pro-Trump rally was planned, not only to show support for Emperor Trump, but also as payback for the first Battle of Berkeley, in which Sir Milo was ejected from the campus by the tolerant student body.

Participants

The day before this particular Berkeley riot, Kyle Chapman was seen carrying an American flag around the Berkeley campus. Several Antifa heros surrounded the evil traitorous patriot and swung a skateboard at him after he cold-cocked one of them squarely on the jaw.

This triggered both the unemployed Trump supporters and the unemployed Antifa-scum, causing each to leave their basements and organize a peaceful rally to show support for our ebil dictator who is literally Hitler. What happened next was predictable and eminently watchable.

"Berkeley Falcon Punch"

In an era where government policy is dictated by Twitter outrage, it was unsurprising to see the same people who advocated Nazi punching shedding tears after an Antifa chick was punched. Naturally 4chan exposed her as a hairymuff pornstar suspected to be Vermin's gf. The smelly Antifa chick expected to return home with "100 Nazi scalps". Instead she returned home with less teeth, and none of her dignity.