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Fursecution: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:EggmanFursecution.PNG|thumb|[[Sonic|This guy has the right idea...]] Sign me up!]] | [[Image:EggmanFursecution.PNG|thumb|[[Sonic|This guy has the right idea...]] Sign me up!]] | ||
==The origins of fursecution== | ==The origins of fursecution== | ||
{{squote|[F]urries get so fucking defensive of that shit, dude, because they '''know''' it's pathetic and they're holding on to that last vestige of their [[lie|delusion that they aren't less-than]] in order to maintain some kind of emotional equilibrium. If that hold breaks, you know they're going to [[an hero]]. Seeing people [[troll|call that shit what it is]] validates [[dying alone|what their subconscious already knows]]: that they're fucking sad sacks. That kind of self-admission would just be way too much for them to bear.|anon, waxing psychological about why furfags get so butthurt about fursecution}} | {{squote|[F]urries get so fucking defensive of that shit, dude, because they '''know''' it's pathetic and they're holding on to that last vestige of their [[lie|delusion that they aren't less-than]] in order to maintain some kind of emotional equilibrium. If that hold breaks, you know they're going to [[an hero]]. Seeing people [[troll|call that shit what it is]] validates [[dying alone|what their subconscious already knows]]: that they're fucking sad sacks. That kind of self-admission would just be way too much for them to [[Pun|bear]].|anon, waxing psychological about why furfags get so butthurt about fursecution}} | ||
[[Image:Mausfursecution.png|thumb|right|How furries see fursecution.]] | [[Image:Mausfursecution.png|thumb|right|How furries see fursecution.]] |
Revision as of 05:38, 3 November 2011
Fursecution is a portmanteau of "furry" and "persecution", used by sick fucks who dress up in animal suits, to describe the discrimination they face for being "different". All furries at some point will claim to have been fursecuted, and they're probably right, since everyone, everywhere hates furries.
A favorite target of Dramacrats everywhere, furries are well known for providing buttloads of lulz by, for example, comparing the fursecution they receive to the Holocaust. All furries are filled with self-righteous anger and overwhelming angst, which makes persecuting them even easier.
The proper technique for trolling furries is claiming that your fursona is a nigger.
- Mundane: "I hate to ask, but could you remove your ears, please? I can't see the film."
- Furry: "OMG remove my ears! They are a part of me, you insensitive asshole! FURSECUTION!"
The origins of fursecution
—anon, waxing psychological about why furfags get so butthurt about fursecution |
Furries brought the hate of the Internets on themselves. The large majority of furries consider their fandom a "lifestyle". Because of this, no matter how politely you tell a furry that you don't want to hear about their preoccupation with animal sex, they will get offended and accuse you of fursecuting them and claim that you are an insensitive Nazi. Moar reasonable furries used to exist, but they went extinct a long time ago. Today, any new furries are quickly scooped up and conditioned by the fascist furry state in control of the fandom.
The spectacular overreactions brought by furries quickly caught the attention of trolls on the Internets. When some of the moar intellectual trolls dug for moar information to parody their furry targets, they unearthed some genuinely disturbing furry pastimes, such as bestiality, body-alterations, the infamous body-paint leopards, and furries with whiskers surgically implanted in their bodies. Furries also proved to have a far higher incidence of deviant kinks such as scat, hermaphrodite worship and pregnancy fetishes, inflation, and a strange preoccupation with erect penises due to their sexual insecurity.
The trolls, realizing they'd hit a goldmine, reported their findings all over furry LiveJournals, web forums, and anywhere else. However, the reaction from the overly defensive furries was what really nailed their coffins. One after another, (like retarded lemmings) furries with deviant and disgusting sexual kinks loudly defended their sick "lifestyle". Let us note here that saying a furry lives a lifestyle is like saying MTV still airs music videos. Sure, they still air videos, but mostly on TRL. Plus they only air a few short clips of said videos in favor of showing off their retarded VJs, and entertainment news you can look up on the internet. So essentially the fucked up side of furries is a hundred times bigger then the "lifestyle" part of it.
Of course, all furries are hypocrites and have no right to complain. Given the opportunity they will readily fursecute one another as they are so disgusting that they invoke revulsion even from others of their kind. As further proof of their hypocrisy, many of those crying fursecution and calling you a Nazi for making fun of them are also the same ones who created the Nazifur fetish.
Another example of fursecution is how many furries have been seriously butthurt by what they perceived to be "negative media attention" (though they should be glad that their pathetic, perverted, and ridiculous little subculture has actually been seen by a small number of people to be significant enough to receive any media attention at all) by shows like CSI, MTV's Sex2k, articles in magazines like Vanity Fair, and Dan Savage's syndicated column Savage Love. They whine that these media portrayals of them are "inaccurate" because they focus on the perverse sexual side of the fandom (which, in fact, makes the portrayals accurate as furries are pervs even when they don't admit it). However, nobody cared what the furries had to say because MTV and CSI are at least popular and liked, whereas furries are not popular or liked by anybody. Nevertheless, some furfags will make the laughable accusation that you get your information about them from MTV or CSI, when it is in fact common sense telling you that they are sick weird fucks.
Successful fursecution:
It is absolutely okay for you to hate furries. Hell, hatred of furries should be goddamn encouraged. They are whiny, twisted, victim complex asshats who don't know enough to keep their creepy fetish to themselves. We're not saying you should actively sniff them out and attack them, because if they are keeping it to themselves then they deserve as much privacy as you do with your BDSM shotacon foot fetish.
What we're saying is that the next time you see someone wearing part of a fursuit, or defending the furry lifestyle in public, or you find someone who uses a furry last name on face book or some shit (you'll know it when you hear/read it), do the world a favour and shoot them in the fucking face. They deserve it.
You may see tons of Furry scum on DA whining about ED spreading lies. These bastards only want to pat themselves on the back and convince themselves they are not actually fucked up individuals when they obviously are. Remember kids, every EDiot is here to preserve and document the truth.
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Use scrollbar to see the full image
Some successful fursections include:
- The obliteration of Dracoguard.
- The humiliation of Poeticirony.
- The homlessness of Allan
- The IRL trolling of a furcon by Young Lord Sheppard.
Any furry saying this term in anything resembling a serious tone is usually laughed off the internets and driven to suicide.
IRL fursecution
"They fired me because I'm a furry!"
Really, now. Let's go down the checklist and see for certain whether it was the fandom's fault:
- Were you looking at `yiff art', i.e. pictures of animal characters with humanlike mammaries and other reproductive organs at work? Are you aware that people also get fired for looking up pornography at work?
- Was your bizarre behavior (barking, yelping, walking around on all fours, fursuit wearing, etc.) driving away the company's moar conservative customers, or disrupting the work of other employees?
- Did you try to explain the fandom to a coworker by showing them `yiff art'?
- Did you try to download some type of flaky furry related program (Furcadia, MUCK clients, etc.) onto a work computer?
- Did you post your resume on your furry website only to find out that a search engine ranked it as the top result for your employer's company name?
- Are you as dumb as Skylos and stored photos of you fucking your dog on your work computer, accidentally deleted them, and them asked the systems administrator to restore them for you?
"They won't hire me because I'm a furry!"
- Do you behave properly at the interview? (No animal noises or jabbering nonstop about the fandom, etc.)
- Do you have a presentable resume, one that only includes furry if it has a 100% relationship with the job in question? (Example: Fire fighter—no furry references are recommended. Furry comic book company—knock yourself out).
- Did you wear the fursuit to the interview? Hopefully the answer is no.
If you answered yes, here's an idea: if you're worried they won't hire you because you're a furry, DON'T TELL THEM YOU'RE A FURRY. Short of coming to the interview in a fursuit or making yiffing noises at them, they aren't going to know. Some advice? Leave the damn fursuit at home.
Hide your shame, furries. Gays have been doing it for fucking centuries; figure it out.
Furry Responses
Have you ever had an argument with one of these sick fucks? Then you've probably heard any of the following bullshit, flatout LIES.
Simply respond saying that they chose to associate themselves with people who have, and are known to do this on a regular basis.
This is, once again, bullshit. Making fun of animal fuckers online is not anywhere like the fucking holocaust. Jews were killed simply because of their religion. In all seriousness, jews are money grubbing assholes and were not even as bad during 1941, but furries rape the fuck out of and jerk off to animals and force other people to know about their sick fuckery with fursonas, shitty art, and descriptions of themselves with: "OMG IM BLAK FOX WIT WHITE SPOTS I AM BISEXUAL MY BF IS DARKFOXYFLUFF <3!!!1". Which of the two is worse? Furries get made fun of because they OPENLY set themselves up for such mockery. If a furry ever uses this excuse, not only tell them that making fun of furries is not even fucking COMPARABLE to the holocaust, but furries aren't even getting killed, as nice as it would be. For lulz, tell the furry one of your relatives died in the holocaust, and that comparing fursecution to the holocaust makes them a bad person, which it does.
Tell them this is a perfectly good reason to assume all furries are insane. Challenge this person to come to your house and kill you. Since furries (most furries are male) use the terms "wuv" and "huggles", it is a perfectly natural to assume they are complete pussies, and would more than likely not even do it, and get their asses handed to them even if they did.
It's fucking beastiality! This is like saying that taking a naked baby, taping a picture of an adult to it's chest and jerking off to it is not pedophilia.
Likewise, freedom of expression works both ways, meaning we can make fun of furries.
Of course, since it is almost impossible to persuade a furry of their sick ways, having an actual conversation with a furry is near impossible. If you do manage to actually talk sense into a furry you deserve 57 virgins, a new car, presidency of the fucking world and the fucking Buddha award.
Anti-fursecution
The hatred for furries has only intensified since the inception of the term 'fursecution', prompting some furry groups to continue to escalate the conflict. For example, a group known as The Kadaitcha Dancers targetted a Something Awful forum goon named Sockhead for trolling the LiveJournals of furries. ED is currently lacking an archive of the thread or the emails exchanged between Sockhead, his acquaintances and the psychotic Kadaicha Dancers, but basically the Kadaicha Dancers harassed Sockhead's acquaintances in the hopes of getting enough circumstantial evidence to bring criminal charges of harassment against him. Sockhead, lacking a criminal record and easily coerced friends, quickly found out about the probe and told the Kadaicha Dancers to knock it the hell off, which initially resulted in taunts from the Kadaicha Dancers regarding the charges they asserted they were going to shortly bring against him, curiously capitalizing all of their pronouns and referring to some mysterious 'agent'. How they expected to be taken seriously when saying things like "We have been speaking with Our Agent..." is still under investigation.
The taunts gave way to emo speeches about how wounds from being insulted on the Internets never went away, and finally a half-assed declaration that they simply wanted to stir up commotion on Something Awful, a community that thrives on such commotion, thus mystifying everyone involved.
There are a few other anti-fursecution incidents like this, all as laughable as the furries themselves.
Fursecution has also given rise to the Furluminati that spreads propaganda claiming that there aren't homosexual furries and that there's no relation between furries and sex.
Fursecution.net
*Fusecution.net - Free Furry Videos and Animations The newest of anti-fursecution websites. Also included is a sub-site pertaining to furry inflation. Fail furry site that died way too late. Stole everything they showed and lol'd at even by other furries. LOL BALEETED
Maus
- The Pulitzer winning Maus, using storybook cartoon art styles is considered by many to be an epic achievement in the sequential narrative. The Maus graphic novels describe in vivid detail the trials and tribulations of a Holocaust survivor -- and his son's present-day struggle with his sense of identity.
- Naturally, contemporary readers regard it as a chronicle of the horrors that fursecution can perpetuate.
Furpocrisy
The ultimate goal of any furry is to gain social acceptance and they will do *ANYTHING* to try and get it...even if it means stepping on their own kind. Make no mistake, there is *NO* difference between a furfag who wears a fur suit and one who doesn't. There is *NO* difference between a furfag who likes cub art and a furfag who doesn't. There is *NO* difference between a furfag who draws furry porn from children's cartoons and those that only draw furry porn derived from adult interests. A furry is a furry, and *ANY* attempt to deny that fact can be easily identified as an obvious attempt to try and gain social acceptance by trying to argue inconsequential differences in the hope to garner sympathy. Essentially saying, "okay I'm pathetic, but I'm not as pathetic as *THAT*..." They then seek to weasel their way onto the side of the fursecutors, attacking their own kind, much like the Jewish Nazi collaborators of World War II.
A.N.I.M.A.L.S.
Use the A.N.I.M.A.L.S. approach should you ever find yourself in the physical vicinity of furries:
- Approach with caution, as furries have been known to R.O.A.R. (Rape Often At Random); Counter this with a swift kick to the testicles (all furries have them, especially since there are no female ones).
- Never attempt to start a conversation with a furry; they are immune to any form of logic and are deaf to reason. Verbal abuse is possible, but do not under any circumstances expect a coherent retaliation.
- Interesting people do not exist in the furry fandom, only fools and the fools who follow them.
- Most furries masturbate to furry porn; the rare exception to this is often due to its lack of Internets or some sort of self denial. However, the furry fandom in general is a sexual fetish so feel free to make this clear.
- Always be prepared to deal with the furry gangup, where a group of furries will converge on the non-believer and proceed to bombard with them with "freedom of expression" bullshit.
- Light the fuckers up! If you are arrested for attacking a man in a vixen costume, it will make headlines (not to mention your permanent status as a Winnar), and we all know that furries and publicity do not mix.
- Shout at them. They will lose significant swagger, and if they start yelling back it will be muffled by the retarded mascot head they are wearing and only make the situation more hilarious.
Videos
—Some guy who's never looked at his wall, listened to what he was saying and put two and two together |
Previous Video | Next Video
Fursecutor's Creed
—Anonymous, on fursecution philosophy. |
Furry Hater's Creed
I hereby solemnly swear that I will do all I can to uphold the values of humanity, not insanity, as the cornerstone of any society.
To do this, I swear that I will not hesitate to destroy the Furries wherever they may stand or whomever they may be, nor will I back down from my duties.
I realize that their perversion is a black mark on humanity which cannot be wiped clean. It must be cut out entirely and destroyed as a cancer.
Just as the depravity of the Furry knows no bounds, nor shall my thirst for their permanent extermination.
I pledge that I will do all I can to obliterate the Furry fandom, and I swear that all the sick fucks who align themselves with said fandom will go with it into the fiery pits of hell.
And when I am finished, when my glorious task is done, when the last Furry on Earth has been obliterated into nothing more than a smear of sicko porn and fucked-up plush toy, I will rise and say “Look here. The deed is done.” And I will be exalted in glory eternally.
Fursecution Gallery
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Fursecution is fun.
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World hunger? Solved!
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Moar fursecution in action. (It's actually an Otherkin)
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b's typical reaction to this unholy monstrosity. Also, good advice for anyone else who happens to come across one.
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The life of the average furry
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Fursecution in Gaza.
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Even in EverQuest, the Fursecution card doesn't work.
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Hitler reacts to the previous image.
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The only good furfag is a dead furfag
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And surprise, surprise, the deer is dripping semen.
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Fursecution through history.
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What to do if you see a furry.
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One suggested improvement to furry conventions.
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Someone please finish it off!
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THIS IS A THROWDOWN, A SHOWDOWN, HELL NO I CAN'T SLOW DOWN IT'S GONNA GO!]
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This is nice until you realize it was probably made by some furfag with a head severing fetish.
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What everyone thinks about furfags.
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Scientists are currently thinking of ways to exterminate furfags.
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Proper way to greet a furry.
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A day that's coming soon (hopefully).
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Never ever.
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HAHAHAhuhaha >=D!
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Marge Simpson furfaggotry
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Most furries have no idea what they are talking about
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A pile of furries waiting to be lit up after Fur OrgyCon 2004.
See Also
External links
- Fursecution DOT Net - Free Furry Videos and Animations, from WikiFur.
- Crush! Yiff! Destroy!, a furfaggotry site.
- Furries on fursecution, from WikiFur.
- Google finds
- The song.
- IRL Fursecution video(NOTE. This is an actual fox, not a furfag.)
Fursecution is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |