Loki Blackfang

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Sylvia's in hell and there's nothing you can do about it

File:Loki before and after.png

Yes children, it's a trap.

Loki Blackfang (known to friends and family as Sylvia Clarice Taiko Reiff) was a proud transsexual sodomite and rampant member of the furry fandom, who went on to provide proof that there is a supernatural guardian when he and a fellow fur were promptly removed from the Earth after an automobile collision of comical proportions. A true blessing the occurrence was, as not only did it remove Loki and his bum-drilling ways, but also PonyBird, another disgusting fur, as well. Utterly devastated, Loki's "mate" kaza, being slightly smarter than the average fur, used his timely passing as a flawlessly executed excuse to solicit money and various other favours from numerous FurAffinity users. Said users then began tirelessly licking Loki's metaphorical asshole (remember, his real anus was severed with the rest of his body) despite not knowing his unimportance during his, thankfully brief, time on Earth.

Death

Wonders happen everyday.

On Thursday, March 15, 2012, a four-day-early birthday miracle occurred when Loki and a friend of his (read, having an affair) were carelessly causing a hazard on a crowded highway when the driver decided it would be a sterling idea to pull into the other lane and collide with a truck much larger than their small pervert-mobile.

One would hope those fursuits were destroyed on the scene.

“	SILVER SPRING, Md. (WUSA) -- Montgomery County Police have identified two people who died in a crash on Piney Branch Road on Thursday. They say 26-year-old Olin Dale Sorenson and 23-year-old Sylvia Clarice Taiko Reiff died as a result of the accident in the 9300 block of Piney Branch Road. Police say Sorenson was driving his car eastbound on the road when for some reason his car crossed the center of the roadway and struck a tow truck traveling westbound. Reiff, a passenger in Sorenson' s car, was pronounced dead at the scene. Sorenson was taken to MedStar Washington Hospital Center where he succumbed to his injuries. The tow truck driver, 51-year-old Melesio J. Monterroza Cartagena, suffered non life-threatening injuries and was taken to the hospital.	„
—Furs die and honest men live to tell, sounds like the world isn't so cruel after all.

Reaction

LOVE IS 4EVER

Upon discovering the joyous event, Loki's partner Kaza was emotionally decimated at the highest degree, realizing he was now forced to find another man/shemale to leech off of whilst he spent 12-14 hours a day engaged in endless roleplay chats. Describing himself as "Ill beat you down and then laugh at your bloody helplessly dead corpse. Dead corpses are funny. You can make then dance with strings" on  his Twitter, has been able to confirm that even in his work-less status, he too was able to enjoy the loss of scum from the world. Hoping FurAffinty would sucker into handing over his every whim, Kaza blogged up a quick sob story and watched as the furries shared their "deepest condolences".

“	My wife lokiblackfang lokiblackfang died tonight. She was in a car accident. There was a headfirst collision with a tow truck around 2 o'clock this afternoon. I'm in shock. I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I don't know what to do. The second part is... ponybird ponybird was in that car as well. He was the driver. He died as well... we were supposed to move into a new place today. So now I am homeless and jobless and I have lost my mate and a close friend in a tragic accident. I don't know what to do. I still love her... I wish I had been with her. I hope she will rest in piece. I will love you forever lokiblackfang lokiblackfang and ponybird ponybird	„

Textbook case of Memorial Page Tourism

Obligatory BBQ

	“	Would it help to donate some money? I don't have a lot right now, and I want to do what I can to help you and Serpy too. I can send you a little, and every bit may help.	„

	“	T_T I am so sorry Kaza, I am so so so sorry to hear that. I knew you and Loki were both very well connected. This makes me sad, I don't know. Mind if I draw for you? (Free of charge)	„

	“	I'm sorry for your loss and I know this is a bad time to ask you to do something. But could you please make a Paypal account? I will scrape up what ever money I can and split it between you and sillyserpentine sillyserpentine	„

	“	I honestly been crying since you told me, can't believe this is real. You know I'm here for you man, you and her are like family to me. Anything you want let me know, I'll do everything in my power for you.	„

	“	My condolenses...that's absolutely terrible... Don't feel bad to ask for help in this time, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now.	„

	“	I heard about this from some other furries giving "RIP"s on twitter. It made me incredibly sad. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Even though I don't know you, and I didn't really know the two who passed away, I'm still tearing up. I hate the idea of loss/death, and I can't imagine what you're going through right now... Sending white light for you.	„

	“	OMG I'm soo sorry... I don't know you, nor your family, but I'm startin' to cry just thinkin' of your pain. I recently loss my horse, Tonka... I've known him all my life... But I know he's trottin' around with all his old friends.. And that is what Loki is doing.. She's sittin' in the clouds with Pony, sending you love.. Again, I'm very sorry about what has happened.. Sometimes God does it for a good reason... R.I.P. Loki and Pony...	„

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Whiteknighting

Kaza spews a bit more emo crap for sympathy and understanding.

After this article was discovered by the furry community, rage and butthurt ensued. Several furries, including wuzzletodd, blanked this article, and tweeted their rage.

Upon discovering this page, Kaza was forced to devise a plan in order to save his charity scam. Acting as if he really cared about Loki, he began demanding the removal of this page, and the information on the creators.

	“	@ED_Official Why would you make an article about an avid ED supporter. Loki loved reading your articles. She was reading one when she died.	„

ZOMG TWITTER DRAMA!

WE GOT THE HOOD ON OUR SIDE NOW, Y'ALL TROLLS ARE DONE FOR

Following the discovery of this page, numerous furs unleashed their rage on Twitter, descending the reputation of a known tranny, gothic, babyfur. Organising in a furry-mafia like structure, threats of death and "hacking" were liberally thrown about, several at unrelated users.

	“	ooooh your friend Erica no Firewall. All your info bitch	„
	— jmarklamont seeks out anyone related to aid his "harassment" against those evil trolls

"Orc" spying is a sure-fire way to scare someone shitless.

After endless hours of leet Googling skills, the furs discovered several throwaway emails of ED admins, along with ED's super secret IRC channel. Announcing "we go viral on yo ass mofo!", the rage spread to all the pseudo-grievers bombing #RIPLoki, regardless of the fact that they never met him.

	“	http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Loki_Blackfang Is EVIL pure Evil its Un-called for shows your mental state Karma will Get you! #RIP	„
	— lovmyck

See also

Mention this to kaza. Do it for the lulz.

• Gizgiz - Isn't it nice when perverts die?
•  SanguineZombie - His Twitter
• lokiblackfang on FurAffinity
• kaza - Loki's partner, be sure to help rub it in, maybe we can get a bigger kill death spread
•  Kazanori - and his twitter
• PonyBird - He called shotgun
• (local) News article about the hilarity

I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...	Loki Blackfang is part of a series on GOTH [Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]	I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
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