Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

California: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
imported>LauraLovelyy
Updated links
imported>Gray
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
[[File:California-cancer.jpg|center]]
[[File:California-cancer.jpg|center]]
----


{{Spoiler|CALIFORNIA IS BECOMING A DICTATORSHIP. [http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/04/happy-meals-banned-santa-clara-county-california.php Happy Meal Ban] + [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/11/03/2010-11-03_court_mulls_game_ban_sales_of_violent_titles_like_halo_barred_to_minors.html Violent Games Law] Their new slogan is: "CALIFORNIA; RAPING YOUR CHILDHOOD BY DAY"}}
{{Spoiler|CALIFORNIA IS BECOMING A DICTATORSHIP. [http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/04/happy-meals-banned-santa-clara-county-california.php Happy Meal Ban] + [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/11/03/2010-11-03_court_mulls_game_ban_sales_of_violent_titles_like_halo_barred_to_minors.html Violent Games Law] Their new slogan is: "CALIFORNIA; RAPING YOUR CHILDHOOD BY DAY"}}
Line 24: Line 22:
[[Image:Robert-Rizzo-Bell-City-Manager.jpg|thumb|right|Robert Rizzo: Hated manager of Bell, CA.]]
[[Image:Robert-Rizzo-Bell-City-Manager.jpg|thumb|right|Robert Rizzo: Hated manager of Bell, CA.]]


'''California''' (Formerly '''Commiefornia''', before [[Ahnold]]) is the lamest state on the [[leftard|Left Coast]] of [[America]] and home to many serial rapists and their bastard offspring. A very small percentage of the population is actually legal, <s>therefore making it the only state in which white people are the minority</s> (disregard that, [[Hawaii]] is full of [[Azns]] and [[sea niggers]]).
'''California''' (Formerly '''Commiefornia''', before [[Ahnold]]) is the lamest state on the [[leftard|Left Coast]] of [[America]] and home to many serial rapists and their bastard offspring. A very small percentage of the population is actually legal. Home to [[Los Angeles|Hollywood]] as the ingrown toe-nail, [[San Francisco]] as the [[penis]], and Bakersfield as the armpit, California had the nation's first action hero governor in [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] (aka '''The Governator''').
Home to [[Los Angeles|Hollywood]] as the ingrown toe-nail, [[San Francisco]] as the [[penis]], and Bakersfield as the armpit, California had the nation's first [[Chuck Norris|action hero]] governor in [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] (aka '''The Governator''') - a <s>Austrian</s> <s>Australian</s> complete badass, <s>Republican</s> <s>Democrat</s> ([[????|noone knows]]) [[Hackers on Steroids|bodybuilder]] (Jesse Ventura, that lame wannabe in [[Minnesota]], does not count).


==History==
==History==
Line 36: Line 33:
Note: Government also known as "Residentes de la República de California"
Note: Government also known as "Residentes de la República de California"


California is known for previously having [[The Governator|Arnold Schwarzenegger]] as governor. <s>Thankfully</s> Fucking finally, he is now out of office and has been replaced by [[Hero|Jerry Brown]].
California is known for previously having [[The Governator|Arnold Schwarzenegger]] as governor. Fucking finally, he is now out of office and has been replaced by [[Hero|Jerry Brown]].
 
On May 15, 2008, California became the second state evar to make same-sex marriage legal. Even though the majority of voters were in favor of banning same-sex marriage, the Supreme Court said "STFU", and made their own law. <s>Gays may now eat each other's faces in holy matrimony.</s> Scratch that, <s>Mormons have officially passed [[Proposition 8]] with millions of dollars in donations. Ironically, they're only 1% of the Californian population.</s> Scratch that again, proposition 8 has been repealed by Lulz Killers.
 
Currently, due to a high influx of [[Mexico|immigration]], California is now partly run by [[Mexico]] and [[Zapatistas]], which puts even more unnecessary dumbfucks into power.


[[Shit nobody cares about|The District Attorney of California is Nikki Clearwater.]]
On May 15, 2008, California became the second state ever to make same-sex marriage legal. Even though the majority of voters were in favor of banning same-sex marriage, the Supreme Court said "STFU", and made their own law. Gays may now eat each other's faces in holy matrimony.


<s>[[BTW]], 55 electoral votes, BITCHES!</s> HAHA, Disregard that, I suck [[Florida]]'s cock, since they actually decide the elections!
Currently, due to a high influx of [[Mexico|immigration]], California is now partly run by [[Mexico]] and [[Zapatistas]], which puts even more unnecessary dumbfucks into power. [[BTW]], 55 electoral votes, BITCHES! That's right, Mexicans have presidential elections by the balls!


==Why Californians Are Idiots==
==Why Californians Are Idiots==
Thank You Mexico.- It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like [[Jew_York|New York]], the population isn't anything special. It's home to many infamous serial killers such as the Manson family and child molesters who comprise the vast majority of entries in the the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Hall of fame.
Thank You Mexico.- It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like [[Jew_York|New York]], the population isn't anything special. It's home to many infamous serial killers such as the Manson family and child molesters who comprise the vast majority of entries in the the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Hall of fame.


Nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long breeding experiment involving Oklahoma white trash, third world border-jumpers, and hippies. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are <s>idiots, as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides, and other [[Goatse|horrible disasters]].</s> geniuses for avoiding the obviously more destructive tornadoes and hurricanes other states face. California is also notable for its yearly wildfires: these fires are usually caused by [[furries|furfags]] fleeing into the forests courtesy of [[Anonymous]]' valiant efforts to '[[Kill it with fire]]'.
Nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long breeding experiment involving Oklahoma white trash, third world border-jumpers, and hippies. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are idiots, as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides, and other [[Goatse|horrible disasters]]. California is also notable for its yearly wildfires: these fires are usually caused by [[furries|furfags]] fleeing into the forests courtesy of [[Anonymous]]' valiant efforts to '[[Kill it with fire]]'.


There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jet skiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself for ever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half ''wishes'' it were warm. Cities like [[San Francisco]] prove this by installing fake palm trees everywhere.  
There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jet skiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself for ever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half ''wishes'' it were warm. Cities like [[San Francisco]] prove this by installing fake palm trees everywhere.  
Line 55: Line 48:
In short, California is like a bowl of cereal: [[truth|once you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all you have left is a bunch of flakes]].
In short, California is like a bowl of cereal: [[truth|once you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all you have left is a bunch of flakes]].


==Why this state doesn't suck==
==Why this state sucks==
* why?
*It's warm
 
*.....
 
*That's about it.
 
*...and the weed, too.
 
*There's also a [[at least 100|relative shitload]] of beaches.
 
==Why this state ''does'' suck==
[[Image:Mjprop8.jpg|thumb|Posted in Californian restrooms.]]
[[Image:Mjprop8.jpg|thumb|Posted in Californian restrooms.]]
*Infested with : New age faggots, Jews, Mexicans (maids).
*Infested with : New age faggots, Jews, Mexicans (maids).
*"We're better than the rest of the country" attitude, despite the list <s>below</s> above.
*"We're better than the rest of the country" attitude, despite this list.
*Enough [[emo|emos]] to create a [[MySpace|website]].
*Enough [[emo|emos]] to create a [[MySpace|website]].
*Enough [[attention whores]] to create a [[Twitter|website]].
*Enough [[attention whores]] to create a [[Twitter|website]].
*Sympathy for [[Mexicans|people who are here illegally]]. DISREGARD THAT I'M A [[NORP]].
*"It's different/better/bigger in California" mindset. This translates to "[[unwarranted self importance|out of touch with reality]]".
*"It's different/better/bigger in California" mindset. This translates to "[[unwarranted self importance|out of touch with reality]]".
*Birthplace of Hollister and every other [[shit|"trendy"]] clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
*Birthplace of Hollister and every other [[shit|"trendy"]] clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
Line 84: Line 64:
*[[Hippies]]. And lots of them.
*[[Hippies]]. And lots of them.
*Californians in general.
*Californians in general.
*<s>"The rest of the country sucks" attitude. More redundant bashing from the obviously "superior" states. </s> [[Why do you hate America?|California hates Amurika]].
*Full of [[gangs]], which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'. Especially in Stockton, NIGGAH.
*Full of [[gangs]], which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'. Especially in Stockton, NIGGAH.
*Speaking of Stockton, it's <strike>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynJyUE6VpEM the most miserable city in America]</strike> [[HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS]] [[nowhere|Oroville]] is the most miserable town in America with the highest fuckwit population. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A8Y5J88aP8 proof]
*Compton.
*[[Hobo]]s Walking up to you telling a bullshit story about how their family died. Which no one really gives a fuck about.
*[[Hobo]]s Walking up to you telling a bullshit story about how their family died. Which no one really gives a fuck about.
*Is why [[wiggers]] breed.
*Is why [[wiggers]] breed.
*Home to and birthplace of many cults, like [[Pedophiles|Children of God]] and [[Scientology]].
*Home to and birthplace of many cults, like [[Pedophiles|Children of God]] and [[Scientology]].
*<s>Sacramento.</s> [[Meth|Modesto]]. 'Nuff said.
*<s>San Luis Obispo </s> Other shitty towns that nobody cares about except for the residents, also see above for an example.
*The capability to file a [[lawlsuit]] against [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012141842/http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7013464273 friends who try to rescue you after you drive into light poles].
*The capability to file a [[lawlsuit]] against [http://web.archive.org/web/20101012141842/http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7013464273 friends who try to rescue you after you drive into light poles].
*Being Florida, but with more crowded beaches, more emo girls, <s>[[Hollywood|less jews]]</s> and more awesome sex offenders.
*Being Florida, but with more crowded beaches, emo girls, [[Hollywood|Jews]] and sex offenders.
*[[Mexicans]]
*[[Mexicans]]
*Because of the three strikes law you can go to jail for life if you steal something small like a cookie on your third offense.
*Because of the three strikes law you can go to jail for life if you steal something small like a cookie on your third offense.

Revision as of 04:38, 26 December 2012

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT CALIFORNIA IS BECOMING A DICTATORSHIP. Happy Meal Ban + Violent Games Law Their new slogan is: "CALIFORNIA; RAPING YOUR CHILDHOOD BY DAY"!!!1
Californians like to believe that they were once an independent republic (lulz). They were, but for about a month in 1846 after they seceded from Mexico.
Official State Photo of teh Governator.
California's future flag
California. the most flammable state. ...getit?
One of the suspected arsonists.
File:Californiaplate2.PNG
New plate design that will be implemented in 2010.
A road sign in San Diego, California warns of Mexicans crossing.
This was briefly the flag of California until faggotry was outlawed by Proposition 8.
In California some products are especially harmful
Robert Rizzo: Hated manager of Bell, CA.

California (Formerly Commiefornia, before Ahnold) is the lamest state on the Left Coast of America and home to many serial rapists and their bastard offspring. A very small percentage of the population is actually legal. Home to Hollywood as the ingrown toe-nail, San Francisco as the penis, and Bakersfield as the armpit, California had the nation's first action hero governor in Arnold Schwarzenegger (aka The Governator).

History

Russian vessels looking for otters navigated the West Coast of America and even established a sea mammal torture joint in Catalina Island. Before they were ousted by the more macho Spanish, they took the trouble to plant the now flourishing seed of Communism. This is acknowledged by the Left Red Star on their flag. California was founded in 1849 by Carlos de California, the son of royal parents Juan de Mexico and Pilar de Puta. It was originally founded to serve as New York City's garbage dump but that privilege has since moved to New Jersey. Nothing interesting has happened there since.

Tourist guy makes a visit to California

Government

Note: Government also known as "Residentes de la República de California"

California is known for previously having Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor. Fucking finally, he is now out of office and has been replaced by Jerry Brown.

On May 15, 2008, California became the second state ever to make same-sex marriage legal. Even though the majority of voters were in favor of banning same-sex marriage, the Supreme Court said "STFU", and made their own law. Gays may now eat each other's faces in holy matrimony.

Currently, due to a high influx of immigration, California is now partly run by Mexico and Zapatistas, which puts even more unnecessary dumbfucks into power. BTW, 55 electoral votes, BITCHES! That's right, Mexicans have presidential elections by the balls!

Why Californians Are Idiots

Thank You Mexico.- It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like New York, the population isn't anything special. It's home to many infamous serial killers such as the Manson family and child molesters who comprise the vast majority of entries in the the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Hall of fame.

Nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long breeding experiment involving Oklahoma white trash, third world border-jumpers, and hippies. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are idiots, as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides, and other horrible disasters. California is also notable for its yearly wildfires: these fires are usually caused by furfags fleeing into the forests courtesy of Anonymous' valiant efforts to 'Kill it with fire'.

There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jet skiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself for ever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half wishes it were warm. Cities like San Francisco prove this by installing fake palm trees everywhere.

In short, California is like a bowl of cereal: once you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all you have left is a bunch of flakes.

Why this state sucks

Posted in Californian restrooms.
  • Infested with : New age faggots, Jews, Mexicans (maids).
  • "We're better than the rest of the country" attitude, despite this list.
  • Enough emos to create a website.
  • Enough attention whores to create a website.
  • "It's different/better/bigger in California" mindset. This translates to "out of touch with reality".
  • Birthplace of Hollister and every other "trendy" clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
    • Birthplace of paying $200 for a pair of jeans.
    • Inspiring high school students that its cool to dress like a metrosexual.
  • Thinking lead, asbestos, and other toxic things are especially toxic in their state. See electrical appliance's manual.
  • Expensive, overpriced real estate.
  • It's where Mcgay Hatch founded the NCC
  • Greater concentration of people everyone hates, who also happen to be rich.
  • Hippies. And lots of them.
  • Californians in general.
  • Full of gangs, which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'. Especially in Stockton, NIGGAH.
  • Hobos Walking up to you telling a bullshit story about how their family died. Which no one really gives a fuck about.
  • Is why wiggers breed.
  • Home to and birthplace of many cults, like Children of God and Scientology.
  • The capability to file a lawlsuit against friends who try to rescue you after you drive into light poles.
  • Being Florida, but with more crowded beaches, emo girls, Jews and sex offenders.
  • Mexicans
  • Because of the three strikes law you can go to jail for life if you steal something small like a cookie on your third offense.

Economy

FUCK WE'RE $18 BILLION IN DEBT LOL HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

The United States loves California for its entertainment. However it hates California for EVERYTHING else. While California leads the way in revenue, it still takes a back-seat to other states in terms of overall wealth and capital trading.

All in All

For at least 100 years California has been home to pollution, child molesters, pornography, gays and Mexicans. Until recently it was home to the tech industry, which has since moved to India (author: wish and lulz), knowing that sooner or later California will sink into the ocean, where it belongs. In 2006, IT WAS RANKED THE 8TH GAYEST STATE, with 4 of it's cities in the top 10. It was also ranked the DIRTIEST STATE IN THE UNION, as 5 of it's cities dominated the top 10 "Dirtiest Cities" list on Forbes.com. All in all, if the gangs don't kill you, the wildfires will. If the wildfires don't kill you, the earthquakes will. If the earthquakes don't kill you, the mudslides will. If those don't kill you, you'll probably just commit suicide to end your horrid life in this pitiful excuse for a state or the state will slide off into the Pacific making the rest of the country happy. Stay far away.

The New Governor of California

Notable Californians

See Also

oh god what is this I don't even.


The United States of Dramatica
States Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
Not a
state yet 		Australia | Canada | China | Cuba | District of Columbia | Guam | Iraq | Israel | Japan | Long Island | Latin America | Philippines | Puerto Rico | United Kingdom | Vietnam
Settlements Atlanta | Boston | Cleveland | Chicago | Detroit | Houston | Kansas City | Las Vegas | Los Angeles | Lubbock | Miami | Minneapolis | New Orleans | New York City | Philadelphia | Pittsburgh | San Diego | San Francisco | Seattle | Spokane | St. Louis | Washington, D.C. | Youngstown
Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=California&oldid=293027"