Vaping: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 22:55, 13 November 2022

What originally started as a means of cigarette smoking cessation, the electronic cigarette or "e-cig" was created as a means of delivering addictive nicotine into your body via atomized water vapor as opposed to traditional carcinogenic laden smoke. A clever idea all around and a great way to stop smoking... at least, it was. Instead a large number of moronic fuckwits decided to bastardize the invention for the sake of creating a quasi-religious "lifestyle" around it, that they call "vaping", primarily for the purpose of over-compensating for their complete lack of personality, the e-cig allowed these rejects to try and pass themselves off as "unique little snowflakes" by continually and constantly huffing off an electronic dildo for a drug fix.

Tobacco companies have been quick to get in on the action, switching gears and producing e-cig products and paraphernalia left and right, effectively becoming 21st century electronic drug pimps, forcing their dimwitted cunt starved clientele to suck off their phallic products in exchange for a nicotine hit. As such, every vaper in existence is effectively just a pimped out druggie, servicing their douche flutes for a fetid fix, provided by Pimp Daddy Big Tobacco.

The Meme

We get it, you vape. This was the meme started by all the people who had finally had enough of the vapid vape crowd and their unrelenting effort to attention whore by forcibly inflicting the secrets to their cock sucking serenade onto society. Eventually the meme started taking a darker twist once it was realized that many pedestrian level flunkies didn't get the reference, which in turn spawned versions featuring fart fetishists, an heroes, asthma sufferers and bombing incidents. This led to massive lulz on SJW ridden sites full of flunkies looking to be offended by everything and anything under the sun.

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Competitive Vaping

Humanity has hit rock bottom and is now drilling further down with reckless abandon to find out just how far human depravity can possibly go, with "competitive vaping" being at the very core. This is just... beyond stupid. I mean I'm actually having trouble trying to fathom the words to describe just how fundamentally stupid this is, so I'm just going to channel Guy Macon here and let it all the fuck out...

If you are a "competitive vaper" you are, without a doubt, one of the stupidest people presently wasting oxygen upon the planet. I mean, bleached blonde stupid. Ana Kasparian stupid. Three sheets to the wind and looking for fucking Narnia in your closet stupid. Rock hard stupid. Dehydrated rock hard stupid. A giant BOX of dehydrated rocks stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. We're talkin trans-stupid stupid. Meta stupid. Stupid collapsed in on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can possible escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. Quasar stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits over the course of fucking INFINITY! You are unfathomably stupid beyond any perceptual capability presently known to exist. Some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so completely uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

That's how God damn Jesus raping stupid "competitive vaping" is. Please, kill yourselves as a gift to humanity and, whatever you do, avoid breeding at all costs!

How To Troll Vapers

Tell them you smoke.
Ask them how much the cost of vaping is, then tell them "So i can get a kit for $80 dollars but i will also need another 20 for the e-semen? Then im going to love it and end up buying a $400 dollar vape and spending 80 bucks a week on the liquid? Smoking costs significantly less."
Let them know that vaping helped you get through your celibacy too.
Ask them if they own a fedora.
Ask them where they bought their mod from.
Tell them sub-ohms aren't any better.
Tell them their e-juice isn't real premium grade.

Vape Users

Just what sort of variety of faggots can you find vaping?

The Portly, Balding Basement Dweller

Probably the most common vaper type, typically has some grand style of facial comb-over compensation, sometimes found a bit younger and wearing a fucking fedora. Your typical Simpson's Comic Book Guy stereotype, a professional nerd fat stack with severely lowered expectations.

The Redneck Retard

Slack jawed, long haired, glossy eyed, Joe Dirt lookin wannabes. These types are the ones most likely to be experimenting with smoking meth in their e-cig. Generally the dirtier and disheveled looking they are, the more likely that is.

These are also the type most likely to be wearing an e-cig gang-fag shirt. They treat their e-choad smokin like some srs gawd damn business, I'll tell you what. Talkin shit, bitch gonna get hit, ya know what I'm sayin, cuz?

It's usually best to avoid these types completely, cause man you wanna wrestle with a pig... yer both gonna get dirty... and possibly infected with Hep-C on top of it.

The Mod Fag

EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!

The Old Fag

Usually life long smokers who have long since given up quitting, most often prescribed by their frustrated doctors as a last ditch effort to try and prolong their worthless, meandering little dead end lives.

Most are practically already on death's doorstop as it is, likely already have cancer or will wind up getting it sooner than later. These types tend to be dead by age 50 or 60 on average. Pictured here is a spry 40 year old lifelong smoker trying to squeeze out an extra decade or two of living as human rot.

These types tend to be the least offensive and most likely not to be eternal douche-bags when it comes to their electronic dick sucking addictions.

The Literal Fag

Similar to mod fags, but with less creative talent, the literal fag treats his vape dick like a phallic fashion accessory for showing off how speshul his lisp ridden existence supposedly is. In reality it's largely a coping mechanism for dealing with parental disapproval of their rump riding recreational activities. Cause really, if mommy and daddy don't approve of you already, hells bells, might as well go right on over the rainbow and fag it up to the point of being a walking pride parade just to spite the ever loving shit out of them.

This type, as a result of the before mentioned parental problems, is very often suffering from massive depression and completely lacking in any semblance of self-esteem. As such this is the vape user most likely to hang himself in a hotel room as a gift to humanity.

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Modding

Of all the dozens of different modding based communities out there this one has got to be the most cringe ridden assortment of sorry assed dipshits imaginable. The "sloppy seconds" of electronics modding, these retards run around reciting rhetoric like, "I learnt more 'bout electro-tronics from vapin than I learnt from skool, boy I tell you whut." They are genuinely proud of the fact that they learned the most rudimentary of electronics from an addictive dick sucking device and will not stop reminding everyone of that retard level effort of an accomplishment every other five minutes. Out of all vape users this type is usually the most desperately in need of a good hard smack up long side their fat, ugly heads.

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Gang-Fags

For when you really want to take your faggotry to fantastic new foxholes of fluff fucking, go ahead and be a bear about it, unfurl a gang-fag vape shirt over your billowing chest hair and get ready to set sail over a wild and wet man-ass orgy in the endless ocean of social depravity. These types are all about the circle-jerking support of organized fag fucking and feel completely free to advertise that fetid fact all over their fat, furry, bearish bodies.

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