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DJ KEEMSTAR: Difference between revisions

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==External Links==
==External Links==
*<s>[http://twitter.com/DJKEEMSTAR Twitter Page]</s> Suspended
*<s>[http://twitter.com/DJKEEMSTAR Twitter Page]</s> Suspended
**[http://www.twitter.com/KEEMSTARx New Twitter]
**[http://www.twitter.com/KEEMSTARx Active - New Twitter]
*[http://www.youtube.com/haloaholes F@G Youtube Page] <s>Permabanned</s> Reinstated
*[http://www.youtube.com/haloaholes Inactive - F@G Youtube Page] <s>Permabanned</s> Reinstated
**[http://www.youtube.com/TheClanFAT Active - His Tryhard trolling "Clan"]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/flagmyvids Keemstar's YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/flagmyvids Keemstar's YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday New YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday New YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/XDJKeemstar New YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/XDJKeemstar New YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/KillerKEEMSTAR Current YouTube Channel]
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/KEEM5TAR Another YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned
**[http://www.youtube.com/SparklesGayRapper Inactive - Yet another Channel]
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/KillerKEEMSTAR Active - Current YouTube Channel]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/blogKEEMSTAR Keemstar's Blog YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned [http://twitter.com/KEEMSTARx/status/289632303779557376 BAWWW]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/blogKEEMSTAR Keemstar's Blog YouTube Channel]</s> Permabanned [http://twitter.com/KEEMSTARx/status/289632303779557376 BAWWW]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/TheKeemstarNetwork Keemstar's YouTube SCAM Network]</s> Permabanned
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/TheKeemstarNetwork Keemstar's YouTube SCAM Network]</s> Permabanned
**[http://www.youtube.com/ThatJuiceNetwork Active - His New Network, If Only People New About His Previous Scam $50 Partnership Network]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidShow Dumb Podcast with OnlyUseMeBlade]</s> Permabanned
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidShow Dumb Podcast with OnlyUseMeBlade]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidPodcast Dumb Podcast with Scott Kinmartin and OnlyUseMeBlade]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidPodcast Dumb Podcast with Scott Kinmartin and OnlyUseMeBlade]</s> Permabanned
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidCast Current - Dumb Podcast with and OnlyUseMeBlade]
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/BadKidCast Active - Podcast with and OnlyUseMeBlade]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/tmzxboxlive Inactive - Old attempt at a drama channel]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlertNation New Youtube Page About Stupid Drama]</s> Permabanned
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlertNation New Youtube Page About Stupid Drama]</s> Permabanned
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlertNews Watch his latest channel get banned too...]</s> No surprise there
**<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlertNews Watch his latest channel get banned too...]</s> No surprise there
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlert1 Inactive Drama Alert YouTube Channel]
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlert1 Inactive - Drama Alert YouTube Channel]
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDramaAlert Current Drama Alert YouTube Channel]
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDramaAlert Active - Current Drama Alert YouTube Channel]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/ClanThrust His Tryhard Qwikscowpe "Clan"]</s> Permabanned
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/ClanThrust His Tryhard Qwikscowpe "Clan"]</s> Permabanned
** [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClanThrust Current - His Tryhard Qwikscowpe "Clan"]
** [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClanThrust Active - His current Tryhard Qwikscowpe "Clan" channel]
*[http://www.youtube.com/MinecraftStars Inactive - His failed minecraft community channel]
*<s>[http://www.blogtv.com/People/dj-keemstar Blog TV Page]</s> BANNED  
*<s>[http://www.blogtv.com/People/dj-keemstar Blog TV Page]</s> BANNED  
*[http://www.battlecam.com/djkeemstar Battlecam.com Channel]
*[http://www.battlecam.com/djkeemstar Battlecam.com Channel]

Revision as of 07:15, 26 January 2014

Warning!
The following article is about a child molester.
   
 
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE F@G MY NAME IS DJ KEEMSTAR
 

 
 

—Some insignificant faggot on the internet

Dan Keem: IRL 30 year old faggot with a lust for children.

DJ Keemstar (also known as Marshyd13 2: Electric Boogaloo) is a leader of a clan on exbawcks live made up of 12 year olds known as the "Federation of Asshole Gamers" or the "F@G". He gained a following of many 12 year old Halo fanboys who call their dungeon master "Halo's #1 Trashtalker": IRL he's a butthurt father with an extreme amount of unwarranted self importance. DJ spends his life on Xbox Live, BlogTV, and Youtube where he has 50,000 subscribers from dick riding machinima directors and Call of Duty commentators. He begged them to advertise his YouTube channel but, hilariously enough, the only people that actually subscribed were 12-year-old boys. Surprisingly he is the #1 most subscribed on BlogTV, which he accomplished by raging to his fans that its his life goal to be the most subscribed on the entire fucking website, but who the fuck uses BlogTV? Everyone uses Ustream. If you think about it, its not that hard getting #1 subscribed on a shitty web site that no one uses if you spend all day everyday streaming and commanding little kids to subscribe. It is extremely likely that he will at some point stumble upon this article and turn it into another excuse for him to fap to his own name while bitching and moaning on his BlogTV broadcast for five hours. When this time comes he should gtfo like the tool he is.

The Retard Behind the Online Retard

DJ and his Ego

From becoming a minuscule internet celebrity, DJ has become filled with unwarranted self importance to compensate for his small cock. He rants over teh internetz about what he is and isn't "about", and why people should give him money for making YouTube videos. Some argue that he just has his head up his ass, but they are usually just butthurt because he won't let them suck his tiny penis. The most common explanation is that he fancies himself the king of the internets because he has a surplus of 12-year-old boys at his sexual disposal. Experts believe that he is even aware of what a loser he is, but to him it's AWWRIGHT!

BlogTV Show

Every day DJ broadcasts a live show at this URL which amazingly racks up hundreds to thousands of viewers on any given night. During said shows he begins by playing music of his own shitty making. After playing his black person music until your ears bleed, DJ will either do one of two things for the rest of the stream, rage about shit nobody cares about for 5 hours, or attempt to impress his fans by trash talking kids half his age on a game that no one has played since at least 100 years ago. These shows are never to the fans expectation as they are boring as fuck. The entire viewing of the show is listening to the enormous faggot ramble about how he's famous, blocking communications with every fanboy who sends him a message over Xbox Live saying how much they love his videos, and most importantly DJ will beg everyone watching the stream to donate to his paypal. He needs money because he does NOT have a job, His job is slowly transforming youtube in to one of his big steaming shit piles as he streams so fucking much and uploads a video everyday. Then after doing all his faggotry, DJ advertises to his fans that they can buy a friend slot or moderator position on the BlogTV chat for a mere $20.00. Should you pay $20 to be on DJs friend list, you should know that like the faggot he is, he will remove you if you do anything annoy him. No joke. Some reasonable ways to get on his nerves include:

If you paid $20.00 to be a mod of the Blog TV chat you can expect similar treatment. Except you can also lose your $20 title for posting his girlfriends number in public chat, and posting links in chat. Specifically to this article. It should also be said that because DJ lets any loser with $20 to his name moderate chat, rather than, say, choosing someone remotely competent for the job. They all abuse their power more so than most other moderators you might find on the internet and boot anyone who isn't worshipping the faggot, and especially for stating disapproval of any copyrighted material that he broadcasts. Like Origami World.

   
 
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE F@G, send me all your money. I need to pay the rent next week and I'm broke, this is my job, this is how I get paid.
 

 
 

—DJ KEEMSTAR every night on his stream begging his fans to pay him or else he cant pay his bills and his girlfriend will leave him.

This loyal F@G fan paid $20 and got his moderator privileges taken away,I hope Keemstar see's this.

How to Trash Talk like Kumstar

The following is a simple and accurate guide so that anyone can sound like Halo 3's #1 trashtalker.

  • First you should lurk matchmaking until you find a young child, someone with a speech impediment, or a sexually unexposed teenage girl. Don't worry about being reported, you're famous so Microsoft can't ban you!
  • Next you will want to insult your targets entire team based on their color as chosen automatically and randomly by the Halo Matchmaking System. If they are the red team call them names such as Elmo Fluffers, Tomato Fuckers, or Furries. Similarly, the Blue Team can be called Smurfs, Blue Dildoes, or other unfunny shit. As long as it is overflowing with profanity and high volume it is sure to be a success.
  • Make sure your target has their microphone plugged in, because now it has become time to make fun of their gamertag. That's right, every gamers highest pride and joy is their gamertag so the most epic lulz can be achieved by making fun of it.
  • Your target will realize how epically they have been trolled and will try to retort. By now the game will undoubtedly have started, and you should begin betraying them mercilessly.
  • From this point, you will want to speak loudly and incoherently so that nobody can understand what the fuck your victim is saying. This accomplishes a definite win in the dispute and leads to the final conclusion.
  • Pretend to start betraying them and instead, let them betray you. Ask them a clever question to get them to say the word boot before you boot them from the game.

Congratulations, you are now one of Halo's best shit talkers.

Keemstar Nation

Keemstar Nation is the unclever name DJ gave to his fans. The demographic who find him relateable grew up with out a father figure to pwn any trash talker they encountered over XBOX Live. They found a troll with many YouTube views and decided to follow him until their balls dropped and they found something better to do. Every KKK Nation member can't handle bad things being said by their diety, mostly due to his demagogic nature. The most common reaction to anything short of Keemstar-worship is attempting to vandalize ED: a stupid and pointless thing to try. Half of the time DJ says he does everything for his fans, and the other half of the time he claims he does it for the money. This raises much confusion as he has never done much of anything apart from ranting and posting gameplay videos on YouTube like everyone else who can type in a webpage URL. Should you tune into his Blog TV channel, you will undoubtedly hear him rambling about how he brightens every emo faggots day, being the clever troll that he is.

You can troll Keemstar Nation at this URL.

Trolling DJ

  • Tell him you're going to hack his gamertag.
  • DDoS him after getting his IP from matchmaking.
  • Call him and tell him you will report his ass to the police for being a pedophile/douche bag/homo.
  • Let him know that 'asshole' is not an adjective
  • Say his 2 year old daughter is a slut
  • Ask if his girls pussy is as loose as it was in middle school.
  • It doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY! He will RAGE over anything!
LOL Getting trolled on his own stream.

   
 
I don't understand, my name is DJ Keemstar, I am not the church of Scientology, but still Anonymous feels like they can just FUCK ME IN THE ASS!
 

 
 

— DJ KEEMSTAR

Tale of Demise

Rise to Flame

Heres the shitty clan logo, it was made in MS Paint

One of the other G@Y members, Deranker, found DJ in a matchmaking game where he was yelling at the other players like any other butthurt Halo 3 player. From there they slowly gained an internet following by convincing 12 year olds that their XBOX's were getting hacked and pretending to masturbate to girls over Halo 3 matchmaking. DJ has been doing this whole F@G thing, unaware that asshole isn't an adjective, for almost 2 years now, how did he get so popular? Well if you haven't noticed, not like the other F@G leaders, F@G is Djs life, he needs to prostitute himself to make a living so he can please his 12 year old fanbase, thus boosting the losers self-esteem since he has no friends IRL. He whores himself out via the use of an anonymous 20 something year old hispanic male, who pretends to be a robot under the gamertag THE BAD ROBOT. Despite its apparent success in fooling children, it is painfully obvious to be a text to speech program found on most Windows OS called Microsoft Michelle. Everyone knows that DJ Keemstar would be a nobody on the internet if it wasn't for all of his 12 year old fanbase, considering what he does ANYONE can do.

IRL F@G member
Your typical DJ Keemstar fan.

One of the most f@gtastic moderators of them all, B3TRAYLGUY

Artistically Trolled

DJ is extremely proud of his fabulous YouTube channel. It has viewers in the thousands. But most of all he's proud of his BlogTV banner whom he paid a professional for. I'm not shitting you, this egomaniac Guido paid some Britfag designer who has skills in flash that could be comprised within an afternoon of wanking and basic tutorials. You can view the immense amount of suck here. Of course it's understandable as to why DJ would pay someone to create shit for him and thus getting ripped off like the idiot he is, he's too busy streaming his live show, because after all. Only he knows how to do what everyone else can do.

pwnd? PWND!

Before DJ was dick riding everyone in machinima and only had around 15,000 subscribers, he had to figure out a way to get more famous on the internet. DJ had spammed trash talking fights fights to establish himself as a champion to his band of cheering retards, so when he scored an audience with some MLG trashtalker named Walshy he thought he had convinced the world that he was, in fact, Srs bsns. This video amassed many views as all the faggots who worship DJ thought he pwnd MLG. Not long after the videos release, his cameraman uploaded an unedited version of the video showing that it was just someone with a modded gamertag being talked through the video and agreeing to be publicly pwnd. This caused much butthurt to all of the F@G and lulz among the fanboys. It appeared, and so it was, that they had been PWND.

The Real DJ

   
 
You should have let that kid stay in here, he would have thought it was legit
 

 
 

—DJ KEEMSTAR trying to look legit

Machinima was M-M-M-MEAN TO ME

Last Thursday Bungie Studios had a nasty virus in their system. The F@G wasted no time in taking advantage of said glitch and stealing Halo: Reach Beta codes several days before it's public release. DJ promptly put in his beta code, despite his account being shutdown locked BANHAMMERED at the time, to play Halo: Reach with all of the people who were privileged enough to receive a Beta code legitimately. DJ immediately began betraying people left and right like the team player he is until he pissed off someone who was a bigger name than he, f1stdacuffs (another no name Machinima director amiright?).

DJ became butthurt because Machinima would not let him upload the video of f1stdacuffs betrayal, and so began their petty YouTube rage battle like the immature assholes they both are. DJ made an unfunny parody character of f1stdacuffs whom he gave the unfunny name f1stdabutts.

Get Hacked

DJ got hacked countless times over his shitty pathetic lifespan. Some of the script kiddies who played an OTI round of weep-the-guido were:


Notable Hackers that fucked up Keemstar:


Vv3AsOne An internet tough guy who

  • Hacked DJs Twitter.
  • Perma-banned his facebook.
  • Got himself AssholeGamers.com Account/Mod privileges
  • Goatse'd Keemstar.com
  • Shared the YouTube channel, and helped upload a shitload to it.
  • Hacked his Machinima account, he had to get a brand new contract.
  • Has dox on DJ flowing in a constant stream out of his arsehole.
  • Recently found an exploit on the filmon.com server which allowed him to steal disc space/bandwidth in the gigs in a matter of minutes.
  • Trolled DJ by giving him of what he thought was his address.
  • Contacted DJ's ISP and successfully shut down his home phone, internet, and TV services.

After it was discovered, he created a curl script, and released it opensource. It lasted about 1 hour before Alki discovered that he had taken around 10 gigs of disc space, and 30 gigs of bandwidth with it.

And who could forget how he hit him offline while streaming for about 1 month almost everyday in a constant quest for teh lulz.


The Most Regal DJ's next unlucky web encounter was with The Most Regal who been tortured by DJ the longest (masochist) in his basement of secrets, 3 months to be exact. Regal bought keemstarnation.com, djkeemstar.com, and haloderanker.com, and took over on federationofassholegamers.com. Regal is the one who turned DJ into what he is today; a respectable and generous human being. When Regal showed DJ how to get google ads on the websites (DJ spelled it 'websight'), DJ went batshit crazy on making sure his personal army spam clicked everything. DJ quit his job, due to the income this generated, about $250 per day. He gave a quarter to Regal and kept a quarter, but said he reinvested the other half when he actually blew it on cigarettes and sex toys for his wife girlfriend cumdumpster.

Eventually Regal and DJ got in fights due to Regal being just as much of a money grubbing Jew except with moar IQ. He would make the f@ggot look like a newf@g on his own live stream. It wasn't long before Regal got bored of being DJs BDSM whore and wanted to do something for the lulz. He was given a moderator position on DJ's popular BlogTV stream. Regals troll face immediately came out and he banned hundreds of people including DJ's IP address and changed the background to Miley Cyrus pics, forcing DJ to ragequit OVER 9000 times. Consequences were never the same, because Regal decided to delete the site with 1,250 members on it. The lulz didn't end there! He took the databases which had everyones IP addresses and passwords to accounts, and started hacking whomever crossed his path, officially pwning the entirety of the f@ggots.

   
 
GET YOUR FIVE CLICKS IN NOW OR I STOP THE SHOW
 

 
 

—DJ KeemStarOfDavid in his Jew quest to steal Google's money

DJ Vs. XBL-Enforcement Team

DJ I AM DISAPPOINT

Last Thursday, DJ woke up one morning to turn on the good old Xbox. At that given moment his gamer-tags started to get locked and were under investigation by Microsoft, because of Purple Xbox 360. DJ was in RAAAAAAEG mode over this, especially when he found out trolls were calling in Xbox-live and reporting the gamertags belong to themselves and were hacked. The F@G community went under a brief moment of panic and became very butthurt. As DJ was yelling in his mic on the live stream, the chatters started spamming up a shitstorm as usual. The solution?

After the so called storm on Xbox-live had finished, and the world had changed according to Keemstar, Xbox-live changed their policy so people wouldn't be so easily social engineered again. The fan boys popped boners and were all treated to a speech saying that if it weren't for the fans none of this would of happened, "20 dollars paypal to [email protected]". Well, during the phone calls the F@G fans made to Xbox live support, one of the mods of the live show reported that his gamertag was hacked and he went under the name of WingsofRedemption which happens to be a popular name amongst the gaming community, and a victim of Keemstars rise to fame to get more attention. WingsOfRedemption didn't want to take anymore of DJ's faggotry and wanted to end him once and for all. Wings proceeded to tell other big Machinima directors and Machinima itself the truth behind DJ: how much of a jew he really is. Keemstar got wind of the situation and made a butthurt YouTube video. Now with DJ calling him out, Wings became very nervous.The f@ggots had a reputation for raiding and shutting down YouTube channels. To cover his own ass, Wings called up the gods of Xbox-live and showed everything that was wrong with DJ KreamlovingFaggot.

Nothing happened for a couple of days. Eventually, Xbox-live Enforcement Team got attention of the situation and began to view Haloahole's videos on YouTube. The Xbox-Live Gods were very disappointed to see the faggotry that was taking place on their motha' fuckin' networks. The almighty Microsoft raised it's ban hammer for the 9000th time and thus, Deranker, 2 Bucks, DJ, and DJ's fake robot account would all have to be transferred to a brand new console. Of course, DJ accomplished this by begging for money on the live stream. What DJ didn't know is that the enforcement team was monitoring the show and banning whatever account he violated the rules of Xbox-live on. The head of the Xbox-live enforcement team director, Stepto, was the main individual banning/suspending DJ's gamertags. In no time at all Stepto became a God amongst all the people who hate and despise Keemstar. Keemstar began raging even more and threatened Stepto with legal action claiming his retarded inbred brother is a lawyer who would pick up on the case. DJ's big plan was to sue Microsoft thinking he could collect his Jew gold on the damages of so-called "harassment". The stupid guido fuck forgot to read the Xbox-Live Code of Conduct and Terms of Use every single time he agreed to them. Hey now, DJ did know what he was talking about since his last job was to use scare tactics into getting people to pay off debts they owed to the government.

Being the lolcow he is, DJ called his personal army onto the live stream telling them to spam Steptos Twitter and mention Bill Gates thinking anybody would give a rat's ass about him. Around four hundred fans from the live stream began the spam and then became bored within 30 minutess and quit. It didn't stop there! DJ called up his good YouTube pal, Ishatonu, who actually had a semi-intelligent fan base and tried to explain the situation "in his own way." It more or less turned into incoherent rambling about how Microsoft was harassing him and banning his accounts because he's gay. The gay jokes wouldn't stop coming from DJ, which brought about many lulz because Steptois a flaming homosexual IRL. DJ begged Shat to make a video for his fans to get in the live show and take part in the situation. Shat didn't want to touch the retards problems with a 10 foot pole, so he made DJ a thread on /b/ and bowed out. Unfortunately for DJ, the thread looked like a personal army request. Once DJ saw the thread he began to get wet thinking anonymous would fix everything for him... but as the thread unraveled it read only "not your personal army". Trolls began to drop DJ's dox taking full advantage of a back raid. DJ being the fail guy that he is watched the thread and stated that only three people were repeating the same stuff over and over. He thought he was invincible from anon because he brought up a good word about them on the live stream and even made a freestyle days before saying anony anony anony over and over again like LilWayne. The thread aged and saged, and as it sunk into the darkest pits of /b/ it took DJ's hopes and dreams with it. Helpless and at a loss for words, DJ tried to lol and get back to being the biggest retard on BlogTV.

To add even more lulz icing on the bawwwww cake, DJ was under the assumption that Stepto was purposely without reason harassing him when, in fact, by creating each account with the purpose to troll and cause drama over Xbox-Live, he was violating Xbox-Live's code of conduct. Due to his and F@G's repeated offenses that he streams publicly for all to see, he was setting himself up for the ban hammer. The shit coaster wasn't over yet, he announces he would sue Stepto for taking away his "right to free speech". Unbeknownst to DJ, Stepto was acting on behalf ofMicrosoft and couldn't be sued solely. He would have been suing Microsoft which has as much chance of winning as DJ has of getting laid.

Now that DJ and F@G had caught Xbox-Live Enforcement's attention, F@G would no doubt end in a lulzy demise.


GO FOR IT DJ, FIGHT THE POWER!!.

He forgot to show the part where he tried to bribe stepto.

Lulzy Demise

Thanks to the efforts of those with a sense of lulz, and a little help from b, DJ had received much harassment. His IRL Dox had been found out, and advertised for all of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica to see. Because of their efforts, the Xbox LIVE moderators had stumbled across his fail and gotten on his case. It was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan.

On August 24, 2010 Last Thursday, DJ KEEMSTAR gave up on fighting live and announced the end of F@G. He played one last game on the Blogtv stream, which ended with another banhammer. He gave a last goodbye, and then removed moderator privileges from everyone. All of the fanboys proceeded to become horribly butthurt because they couldn't power trip with the $20 they gave him. A fanboy by the name of gangstaJ007 decided to retract around 2000 dollars from DJ's Paypal, making the account go negative, and frozen. With a negative Paypal account, and his moniez all gone, DJ was forced to return to work as a librarian or else make his 1 year old daughter homeless.

It seems DJ's sexual robot slave is going to the PS3, not like he'll find that many people with a mic to troll anyway.However, DJ has later announced that he will be not quitting, and that he and the rest of F@G, such as Denigger, Fagbot, and 2 Cocks will continue making videos, and instead of wreaking havoc, they decided they are going to take clips of halo players becoming LOL RAGE and send them to xbox, basically becoming what they so much despised. DJ has acquired a new ass slave by the name of bluepoint951, who has agreed to handle his paypal,a classic ironic move by DJ putting all his trust in a completely incompetent stranger, cock sucking ensues between these two between streams. However, bluepoint had enough, and ragequitted as well. You see, bluepoint is a legitimat homosexual who has a 7 inch uncircumcised penis, and as a result, he needs a man who is bigger. however, he ended up being the reciever of rage and the 1.3 inch penis DJ happens to own. a game of "just the tip in" for bluepoint would be full insertion for DJ. So after DJ had gotten back on his feet, bluepoint fucked off.

You're Fired & I'm Lawing the Law Down!

On October 30, 2010, DJ accused bluepoint951 of stealing his money and fucking with the paypal when it was nearly time to pay his bills. His girlfriend had recently quit his dick for not being able to make enough money to pay any, thereby forcing her out of the kitchen and into the real world. In an attempt to "create" entertainment out of being fuck'd in the asshole by a vagina and his online accountant, DJ convinced the hivemind that they were the victim of thought control from bluepoint951, ironically. Apparently bluepoint961 had been planning a mutiny with several other Moderators to overthrow DJ from his fictional seat of power. BUT WAIT he was also having a gay online relationship with an underage blogTV user by the name of crossfaaade. DJ's claim of proof of this supposed relationship was a fan sign that bluepoint951 had where crossfaaade was in the picture.

Over the next several days in early November, DJ accused bluepoint951's squadron as a stream full of trolls who had betrayed him and were trying to ruin his show. He then proceeded to "fire" several mods and "law the law down" on the rest of his stream. DJ attempted to send several of his best moderators and fans as spies to watch for an "attack" from bluepoint951's blogTV stream; however, nothing of the sort succeeded and the attempt to "troll the trolls" failed. As everyone on bluepoint951's stream discovered as the days past, "DJ is right 100% of the time always" and "will one day be on G4 TV" a true monument to his glory; you can see these conversations at this URL.

Guy's Show Some Respect, Chuck is Dead

On November 4, 2010 at 6:30PM EST DJ announced that he was going to be sponsored by FilmOn.com and that he would never need any more donations from his viewers. To celebrate his increased sell-out status, was going to give valuable items away for free. Namely one of his many banned Xbox 360 Slims.

   
 
So what if it's banned?! You're getting a LEGENDARY XBOX!!
 

 
 

—DJ KEEMSTAR masturbating to a picture of himself

The site began to get mass amounts of views from fans spamming the Special link. DJ, being his usual self, started gloating about how his fame crashed the website. This faggotry went on for about an hour until the creator of FilmOn.com, Alki David, called DJ and told him that Vv3AsOne and friends had been DDoSing the fuck out of him via an exploit that skull-fucks bandwidth. Alki was quick to assure DJ that the police had been contacted and the perpetrators had been arrested. Not long after, DJ was playing Xbox Live as usual until he received a phone call. He returned to the show to announce that he had just learned of a death in the family. Chuck Keem, his brother, had just entered necrophilia territory. After announcing the death, some other f@ggot became co-host of the show as DJ went away from keyboard to baw. After announcing his brothers "death", he told his slave bit moderators to link to a bot site, by entering their e-mail address information and selling their e-mails overseas, allowing access to all his fans credit information until his blogtv show was hacked and shutdown by a troll streaming gay pron on 11/16/2010.

We recommend calling him to give your condolences laugh at him.

   
 
DJ just lost a family member! Show respect by signing up and giving him money: FilmOn.com
 

 
 

—DJs basement-dwelling moderators

Brb, Cyber Police

On November 19, the Holland New York police department was cleverly deceived by someone who DJ claims to be MiZ Fr0sTi (his greatest cumdumpster nemesis), but was probably just anon, called the pigs and claimed to be a deaf person being held hostage in a bathroom at DJ's address. The police were also told that DJ was wearing a razor blade necklace and was about to an hero. Being relatively unexposed to trolling, the police could not simply say lol internet. They dispatched a SWAT team and several police cars in order to save the hearing impaired from having to bathe in the Keem residence. DJ was out having a smoke when the cops arrived and held him at gunpoint. His wife and 1 year old daughter were next out of the house, and it was around this time that DJ realized that he was being trolled. His response was the same as always: make a YouTube video, display a massive case of victim complex, and tell the internet that YA DUN GOOF'D.

Notice the disguised ED article?

What? 25-30 Police Cars you say?

Pardon my victim complex

The Cancer Comes Back

January 18, 2011, after three months of hiatus and making extremely shitty videos they called "classics", F@G declared they were coming back. This of course meant that DJ Keemstar and company would make more videos of yelling at 13 year old boys and stroking their e-peen. They were still terribly unfunny unless you were prepubescent. In their debut video, DJ pulled out one of his dumb ass personalities, DJ Redneck. He tried really hard to troll a kid but he, once again, makes himself look stupid as hell. The kid didn't even rage. He also forgets David beat Goliath.

   
 
I got through Chris Hansen, I got through Chris Hansen, what bitch...
 

 
 

—DJ Keemstar confirming he is a pedo

MinecraftStars

Minecraftstars was a Minecraft "community" for his fans. DJ being DJ tried to use it for making money. Fans had to pay 100$ to get on a server which was run by two people known as Dylan and Brien. However, This idea crashed in a sea of piss after 2 months when Dylan went batshit crazy and replaced the website and DJ's forums with his landlord's facebook and DJ's real address over how DJ treats his "slaves". DJ claimed that Dylan stole 7,000$ from him which was proven false when DJ bought a brand new flat screen TV and shitty DJ set by sheer coincidence.

   
 
Minecraftstars money and Server was stolen by Brien Groska 2139532682
 

 
 

— Big faggot asking for help from his slave

After the whole deal with Dylan, Brien came out as a troll and changed the password to the YouTube channel and HIS paypal


The END to his Youtube or faggotry

On September 1st, 2011 The main channel "Haloaholes" was shut down after Google caught on that he was selling partnership to people. This upset Google because it's illegal and against their terms of service, but we all know how DJ feels about terms of service. DJ claims that the 50 dollars for the partnership was a "deposit" to make sure that no one would upload pr0nz and get his account suspended. Either way Google did the internet a great service in killing some of the cancer.

  • Youtube.com/haloaholes BANNED
  • Youtube.com/KEEM5TAR BANNED
  • Youtube.com/flagmyvids BANNED
  • Youtube.com/thekeemstarnetwork BANNED
  • along with all his past channels which were flagged. Except for this one. Now B& aswell
  • Also this is the new F@G Channel

Now being the over dramatic tard that DJ is, he of course had to make a self promotion video out of his channel being shutdown.

Now he does have a new channel but it is morbidly unfunny. This is the new channel (B&) he posts on. Also, F@G is supposedly going to be "reborn" on this channel. The only people who follow him now are 12 year olds with nothing else to do in their day. Oh wait, they already were. He also has a lonely ass blog channel where he satisfies his continuous urge to have buttsex with his trolls and anyone else on his channel, being the natural attention whore that he is. Did I mention that he loves Ron Paul?

LiveaRoo Hacked

LiveaRoo Hacked - March 17th, 2012

On March 16th, 2012, DJ KEEMSTAR declared war on Team Avolition via Twitter for unknown reasons. After several messages were exchanged between the two, DJ KEEMSTAR refused to admit Team Avolition's worthiness of ice cream on a Skype call. His website, http://www.livearoo.com, was defaced less than an hour after the call ended.

The contents of his website were replaced with an image of the Twitter message that started the confrontation and a video taunting DJ KEEMSTAR. At the time of this writing, his reaction to the incident is unknown because he has not answered any phone calls. In all likelihood, he will become an hero. Nope He's still being the greedy attention whore he's known for being

Team Noble, And his return to the Machinima family

Recently Kumstain was "given" The Youtube channel "TeamNoble" which is a partnered channel previously ran by Machinima Respawn. Because Nether bothered to examine the Youtube Community Guidelines They would've known that selling or giving away partnered channels at all is a bannable offense tl;dr its more of the same faggotry from Keemstar

You can report his new channel/videos here SHUT DOWN BY LIAT (SEE BELOW)

DJ vs. LifeInATent

Last Thursday, DJ ultimately decided it would be a great idea to call out fellow attention whore, MeganSpeaks (LIATs well known Spawn/Girlfriend). Since another man talked with his wimminz, rallied his YouTube robot army and B& ALL OF HIS ACCOUNTS INTO OBLIVION JUST AS HIS NEW COHOST MOVED IN

LIAT, for the first and only time in his life, was the hero, leaving DJ without youtubes yet again.

DJ, soon after getting his just deserts, called his personal army to shut down LIATs twitter but much like many of the more recent 4chan raids, it was disorganized. They tried doxing him using typical doxing methods without doing proper fact checking. Feeling sad and depressed at the lack of means to whore himself, it became a daily routine for DJ to show up on Google Hangouts late at night, drunk and high beyond comprehension, like all good parents. It is likely the only things keeping Keem in our realm is his undying fanbois, Mia, and his mentally lacking Hispanic Robot, as such he will likely end up becoming an hero

Rust

Come August 2013, Keemstar had yet again surfaced on another miserable account, even trying to create a game so that he could gather more money, eventually recording footage of a new game called Rust. Keemstar got attacked by a group of people and killed in the game, culminating in a huge callout on his faggotry, including him having been proved to hack the game. Still continuing to neglect his daughter and rant on his 50th Twitter account where he has been shown liking his own videos to feed his ego. In an even more miserable attempt to keep his ego in check, he posted and abruptly removed this video shortly before pursuing other endeavours.

Mia his future Whore Daughter

This is his pride and joy who he swears on every time just to get attention who will be a whore just like his girlfriend Melissa just wait till she turns 13 she will turn out to be like Bish from battlecam fucking everyone she can just for drugs, all because her dad spends his time shit talking instead of parenting her

   
 
I SWEAR ON MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE I'M NOT LIEING TO YOU GUYS!
 

 
 

—DJ Keemstar and his genius Parenting skills at work.

Dox

For someone who claimed to be unfindable and anonymous, anonymous sure managed to track him down pretty well.
IP Address: 98.118.157.39

Gamertags

  • DJ KEEMSTAR SOMEONE PERMA-SUSPENDED IT SO YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT UPDATE: HACKED AND STOLE 3,000$ BANNED AGAIN
  • KEEMSTAR DJ BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • xDJ KEEMSTAR BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • DJ KEEMSTAR 911 BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • SPARKLES RAP BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • KEEMSTAR BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • LOVE me Stepto - Until farther notice, lulz. SUSPENDED UNTIL 8/28/10 LOL.
  • GAY RIGHTS Ftw BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • PUNT a KITTY GAMERTAG NOT ALLOWED
  • FEDERATION4LIFE SUSPENDED UNTIL 8/25/10 LOL
  • DJ KEEMSTAR 4ev BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • Heart Keemstar BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • KEEMSTAR vs U BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • Keemstar Legend BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL AND 13th CONSOLE BAN.
  • DJ KEEMSTAR FTW BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • x keemstar x BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL
  • CJ DIPPA
  • Try Hard Team
  • Red Dead Gay
  • ProTrashTalker
  • pants on the gr
  • AZiggy15 - but sssshhhhhhh this ones a secret
  • Pit Stain99 - this one is also a secret, but not quite as secret.
  • THE HAPPY ROBOT - Alias for his Microsoft Michelle ROBOT account.
  • K22 Lives
  • LORD KEEMSTAR
  • KEEMSTAR 15BANS
  • King KEEMSTAR
  • DJ KEEMSTAR yes
  • iKEEMSTAR
  • X manger
  • KILL KEEMSTAR
  • YES HELP - Current GamerTag

Emails

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

IRL DOX

DJ loves having Stuff sent to his house ;)

Further proof his dox are correct, which he denies
  • Name: Daniel Keem (Dan Keem for short)
  • IRL Phone Number: (716) 222 4024
    • Next IRL Phone Number: (716) 783 7696 Changed after followers of a certain Capitalist convinced his OWN army to spam his number
  • Street Address: 95 N Main St Holland, NY 14080-9702 Trolled to move, lulz.
    • Next Street Address: 55 Mineral Springs Road, Buffalo New York 14210
    • Current Street Address: 123 Norwood Dr Buffalo, NY 14224 ‎
  • GF's Name: Melissa R. Flack
  • Mother & Father: Beverly and Martin (Not his real parents) Adopted LOL
    • Parents Home Phone Number: (585) 457-3161
    • Parents Street Address: 816 Chaffe RD. Arcade, New York 14009 (Who would of guessed it was a farm?)
  • Other Relatives: Mary Alice Keem, Diane M Keem, Daryl M Keem, Gerald R Keem, Sarah E Keem, Chuck Keem oops., Chris Keem AND HERE IS HIS Facebook: [1]

F@G Gallery

See Also

External Links

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Featured article October 12, 2010
Preceded by
MicahFennec
DJ KEEMSTAR Succeeded by
Online Roleplaying