- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Asalieri/Friends: Difference between revisions
imported>LulzKiller |
imported>Mantequilla No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{main|Asalieri}} | |||
{{:Nav/Asalieri}} | {{:Nav/Asalieri}} | ||
Revision as of 18:17, 11 October 2015
Moar info: Asalieri.
| Asalieri Navigation: |
Since Asalieri cannot join any of the shitty reviewer groups that exist today, he has to pretty much create his own unofficial shitty circle group made up with a few of his friends/drones.
AlphaOmegaSin
Your typical YouTube manchild with piss-poor diction, who bitches about how everything is going to shit, calming it all to be the work of big, mean, money grubbing capitalists, right before asking his audience to 'link, comment and subscribe'. While not directly apart of Asalieri and his gang, possibly because he doesn't want to be apart of the never ending drama started by Asalieri, AlphaOmegaSin is the only person who seems to have other interests besides starting/being involved with everyone's drama. This may possibly be why Asalieri and Razorfist click to his coattails in some cases to get views. Asalieri participated in something called "Hate-Bit podcast" and gained a good amount of subscribers because of it. Asalieri was actually called a "special guest." If Asalieri is actual considered a special guest then I am Jesus. Hate-Bit podcast is essentially an online show where four people bitch about gaming companies and how they are better at coming up with ideas than everyone else. The show is only popular because of the small amount of people with high subscriber counts. Otherwise nobody would watch. The show usually lasts for more than two hours. Yes, two motherfucking hours!
Hellsing920
One of Asalieri's few friends that is actually his age and one that actually surpasses Asalieri in terms of ego and sheer lack of talent, Hellsing920 (who eventually decided to use his full name as a username) is a nasty, obese hack and jewtube whore that has his own worthless R&R series known as "Reaction & Review". In that series, He11sing will sit on his ass in front of a camera, express his genuine reactions toward a movie that none of us even sees and spend 15-20 minutes rambling on and on and on about it. Wow, that sounds original. Much like Asalieri's own R&R, there's no insight and entertainment value to be found whatsoever, as He11sing puts no effort at all to make his reviews enjoyable for anyone to watch. Yet criticize him for that, even out of good intention, and he will throw a bitchfit by saying that no one should watch something that they don't like and that they need to explain themselves when they question his work.
Besides his worthless reviews, He11sing is also best known for his feuds with the BlackBusterCritic and the Game Boob, both which made him look bad and severely weakened his credibility (go to his page for more information). Most recently, to try to make himself and his work relevant to viewers, He11sing has assumed the role of a contrarian in which he will mostly talk shit about movies that are critically and commercially successful like "Requiem for a Dream", "Eraserhead", "Pink Floyd: The Wall", "Casino Royale", "The Dark Knight" and "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" and give praise and kind words to shit that no one in their right mind will ever watch like "Catwoman", "Dead Snow", "Red State", "Dead Heat", "Howard the Duck", "Cannibal Holocaust", "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" and "Hobo With a Shotgun". Of course, Hellsing is always a subject to criticism that he usually ignores, which is very frequent, especially nowadays, but those that criticize him enough though tend to disappear.
The Game Boob
Separated at birth?
The Game Boob (real name David Savage) is basically a parody of all the shitty internet reviewers that are out today. Wow, what an original idea. He had no problem looking like an idiot to please Asalieri (then again, anyone trying to please Asalieri is about as dumb as they get). Then one fateful day, the Game Boob was engaged in an argument with He11sing920 over He11sing's 
shitty review of "Catwoman". The tensions between the two finally escalated in the "Big Chat" incident (click Hellsing920's home page for more info), where Asalieri got involved, sided with Emer and stopped being friends with the Game Boob is friends with him again, because Eric wants his detractors to know that he can reason with people and that nothing happened. Since then, the Game Boob deleted most of his show's episodes on his Youtube account and moved onto become a pretentious film critic on his YouTube channel, the Savage Experience, before deciding to post content on blip.tv. Man, these fags come and go, don't they?
Irate Gamer
In the wake of Cinemassacre's Cheetahmen 2 debacle, Irate Gamer made a funny parody of it. Asalieri saw the video and automatically declared Irate Gamer to be "officially cool", proving that the adage "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" rings true with Asa. However only when it is convenient and at a much pettier level. As soon as the Irate Gamer farts in a way that doesn't satisfy Asa, he will be back sucking the AVGN's dick Roo's dick.
Asa is so smitten being recognized by the Irate Gamer, that he's actually too fucking stupid to notice the fact that all the conversations he has had with the IG's mother were actually Chris sockpuppeting. While in itself the Irate Gamer pretending to be his own mother online is creepy to the levels of Norman Bates proportions, the fact that Eric is totally blind to being trolled by his idol, is both hilarious and pathetic at the same time.
SkyblueMonty
Kiss-asses don't come any lamer and more pathetic than SkyblueMonty.
An insignificant drone to end all drones, he is someone very unimportant, but seems to suck Asalieri's e-peen more than the usual drones though. Jan, 26, 2012: Apparently so much he assists in Asalieri's binge eating. SkyblueMonty is a typical butt-buddy that will go to his grave and defend his friend at the expense of logic. Given these factors, it is spectacularly fitting that SkyblueMonty's Youtube avatar is a retarded-looking donkey gay-looking dragon with a Coke bottle the Burrito Express logo (with a donkey on it), although one can't help but feel sorry for the mules dragons mules due to him being part of that species.
Apparently, SkyBlueMonty got butthurt over his ED page, so he decided to change his avatar into a logo stating "Stop Cyber Bullying". Of course, his content still blows...as usual.
As of June 2012, Monty has quit YouTube due to "cyberbullies", leaving this message behind on his channel:
Not that long after his "farewell address", Monty was spotted leaving comments on gaming videos here and there. His page still displays the ranks of the Asalieri Circlejerk™: Afr0Blu3, xRazorfistx, and the like. Old habits die hard.
UPDATE: As of December 2012, Skybluemonty is back on youtube doing his usual thing...being Asalieri's bitch.
BEHOLD: Watch as SkyBlueMonty, the amazing scrotum-sucker, tries to defend his hero... with help from the Arizona blob himself!
TOGProfessor
No really.
Powerword: Kenneth Jackson Staten. Pretty much your standard idiot who thinks making random commentaries on other people's youtube videos are cool, instead of just leaving simple comments or video replies. An example of everything that's wrong with commentary community these days. While he does rant about other things, there's nothing worth noting about him other than his association with the big man himself, which is pretty much the same for the others.
Made a video defending his buddy from criticism using a bunch of animu pics bordering on porn sometimes. Seriously, he did. Watch for yourself.
ThatsDoable, a guy who comes off as Asa's biggest detractor (probably because he DARES to make good points against him) made a video response to the chinese fairytale naked girls lover and debunked the shitty points he made, including the "this video is old, so it doesn't matter!" repeated over and over again...
Used to go under the name "anime_freakout".
His facebook
XRazorFistx
Pretty much Asalieri's muscle. She has the typical douche long hair that drops below her ass, wears sunglasses inside, and wears her favorite rock star T-Shirts, looking like a retarded cross between Alice Cooper and Napoleon Dynamite. She makes hilarious reviews about how gaming is going to shit and barely even talks about the game she's reviewing. She also seems to be the reason Asalieri is getting more views than usual, due to Razor sending her idiot fans for a little mixing with Asalieri's...how nice.
Suffers from a severely bloated ego and happens to have her own army of fanboys when she isn't around to strike back at her haters. She and her fans mainly just accuses the haters of being "butthurt" due to her "telling the truth about gaming". Some may be asking: how did she get a lot of subscribers?
Well, a major theme in her videos is that they always are intended to spawn a negative reaction from many people. For example. If I were to say that something like Minecraft sucked. Many people like it, but I will say it sucked because some people may claim I have balls for standing up and saying it sucks, but it will also drive in fans of the game to the video, where I just label them fanboys and pretend I am better than them, even if they have good points. What can also be used is indifference, like doing a vs, only to say later that both games suck. RazorFist does this quite well. Saying that Skyrim isn't that good. Saying that both MW3 and BF3 suck. You see what I mean? He11sing920 tried this method of getting viewers as well with his constant uploading of bullshit fanboy chronicle videos which ultimately ended up with him failing to keep an audience.
Afr0blu3
Powerword: Sam J. Webster.
Some British guy who seems to worship the ground Asalieri walks on, and a pretty pathetic internet reviewer in his own right. Constantly babbling about how much he loves Sonic the fucking Hedgehog, and backpedalling the very second something he says might offend someone. Spineless.
His facebook
Stan Burdman
More than just an AVGN rip-off that Asalieri had featured on his youtube channel, but was also "secretly" a friend of his. While his review videos aren't anything special, he himself does some pretty whorish ways to earn more views and money. As he is a partner of Amazon.com, and posts referral links in the video description on where to buy those games that he reviews, obviously clicking them will earn him money. And more recently, ever since Youtube made tags hidden, he like most other view whores, abuse the system by putting popular reviewer names like "AVGN, Angry Joe, Gametrailers, G4, etc." or popular yet unrelated gaming trends like "War Z, Tomb Raider, etc" in his tags and video description. Asalieri supporting someone like this is pretty hypocritical.
Although after the whole Big Chat Incident, it is highly likely that these two aren't friends anymore.
Joeysixone
Powerword: Jose Ramon Cordero Ladner
The whitest of Asa's white knight, which is a bit ironic, because he is a fucking spic. This faggot and failed musician (sound familiar?) is behind the channel Bustershot Gams, that only actually features Asa's shitty One View Wonders, where he picks on small kids and people without a following like himself. When he is not busy trying to make terrible rap, he will gladly come to defend his hero, Asa, no matter what the cost. In the comment section he gave many lulz, when trying to defend his buttbuddy Eric.
—JoeySixone, Not a lawyer | ||
Even if this musical reject somehow managed to actually be a lawyer, which is a no, it still wouldn't matter, because it falls under American jurisdiction, a place he does not live.
his blogspot
His very successful DeviantArt
His immensely popular Twitter
Another hugely successful and widespread Twitter
His retarded Facebook page
Daddy's Facebook
Daddy's YouTube
Joey's Girlfriend
Her school
Annoy him on Steam (Loves the AVGN game)
His failed MegaMan clone fundraiser on IndieGoGo.
his shitty website just waiting to be DDOS'ed
him and his retards trying to make a MegaMan clone called Protoman 21XX
After Joey saw this article he became butt flustered to the point that he pretended to be a lawyer, and use his father's name who is the actual lawyer to "sue" us, because if there is anything we know it's that lawyers have horrible grammar and they also rap.
Name: Lcdo. Jose R Cordero Phone: 7874233511 Email: [email protected] :Company: https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Asalieri, https://encyclopediadramatica.se Comments: Hi , My Name is Jose Ramon Cordero, and I am a lawyer in Puerto Rico. You are hosting a page (i trust you have no knowledge of this), which is breaking a lot of laws, defamation, child abuse, and is also using images without consent for Ad-revenue, I please ask this page be shut down to avoid further complications. Images of myself are there as well, without my permission, he is also using false information. I have discovered his true identity by my own means. Please solve this ASAP as me and my client are getting pretty bothered with it thank you very, very much!!!
Much to the delight of asa and his fanboys, joey was later brutally exposed:
If you wish to discuss this with META FATASS himself, feel free to add him on skype: Tellahasa