Diet Pills

This article is ancient history. You can help by reliving the moment.

They look like candy because they are.

Diet Pills, also known as weight loss enhancements are what pro-ana people are often obsessed with. There are currently at least 100,000 varieties on the market today; each claiming some scientific miracle, while doing absolutely nothing at all. Most diet pills are made of recycled newspaper, guarana, sugar, water and other things "specially formulated to help you lose weight".

Why use them?

There have been some great reasons as to why people use diet aides. Some of them include:

• "I have to stay thin or I'll lose all my youtube viewers!"
• "My agent said if I didn't lose weight I'd get kicked off the show"
• "I look fat in pictures"
• "I just need an energy boost"
• "My bf won't love me!"

Fatties and Diet Pills

As the world is full of fat women, the market is constantly reintroduced to diet pills and other supplements. Some famous weight loss posterfucks to sponsor diet pills:

• Rosie O'Donnell
• Anna Nicole Smith
• black person

Prominent diet pill names

• Trimspa - The name implies that you're going to lose weight like you're in a spa, however after careful research, most agree that Trimspa did nothing, as it was compressed wheat.
• 48 hour Hollywood Diet - This product gives you the shits for 48 hours, removing 3-5lbs of waste from your body. Other than that, it simply exists to taste awful.
• Phenphen - Banned from the market due to heart attack risk. LOL irony.
• Alli - The only FDA approved diet pill; blocks fats and carbs from entering your body, causes them to be shit out immediately. This pill is not a 'diet pill' in the true sense that it doesn't cause some miracle action nor does it make the weight melt away; however it aids in weight loss.

Alternatives to diet pills

• Exercise - Though unlikely to happen, physical movement is a surefire way to lose weight.
• Eating Habits - Again, unlikely; but a good way to lose weight. Put down the Ho-Ho and have a carrot, fat fuck.
• Socializing - An odd subject, but having a social life means you're more likely to get out and move around.
• Work/Labor - Again, our basement dwelling friends might find this difficult, but a good work ethic keeps the body happy, and more prone to weight loss.
• Amphetamines - the original (and best) diet pills - they made it impossible to eat and you'd do all the housework and talk endlessly to your friends on the phone. And gurn like an idiot. "Oh yes Mavis, I've been a busy bee all day. These diet pills are lovely."
• An Hero - Last solution, but the best available. Doing this however will cause you to need an extra large casket.

	Diet Pills is part of a series on Drugs [Cut It OutExpand Your Mind]
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