Freelancerraiko

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

This faggot thinks you're all immature "meatbags". At 19 years old, he has seen more of existence, been through more hardship and learned everything about the world there is to know. He has experienced and suffered so much that he can't even begin to elaborate or describe any of it. Not a single word.

Meet Freelancerraiko. He's the baddest motherfucker alive, kid. You can't truly say you've witnessed a chronic case of USI until you have encountered this faggot. He believes that anybody who approaches him is a "kid" who "needs to prove their worth as a human being" to him before he can refer to them as people on the same level as himself. He is under the impression that he's getting trolled into oblivion because of a lover's tiff he had with a furry over their art style. As far as we here at ED are concerned, they can yiff in hell. The real reason why he's such delicious trollbait is because his levels of USI are staggering.

He claims to have lived life from all possible perspectives and been though it all, so he has the right to be presumptuous about you kids and how his ideals are so much moar refined than your infantile drudgery. So how old is he, exactly? Late 30s, early 40s? He's 19. But don't let that fool you, kid, he's an omnipotent, omniscient man. You only have to examine his angsty attitude and cosplay pictures for a few seconds for this to become absolutely clear. Prepare to enter into a profound world of self discovery that will rip your existing ideals to shreds, kid.

Lol, u mad?

BITCH, I LOOK LIKE GOKU.

He'll insist there is no trace of butthurt whatsoever in this journal. Yeeeeeah...

His faggotry was first brought to our attention sometime last Thursday in a screenshot deviation from a dA group dedicated to exposing fail for people to point and laugh at. While many indicators of his batshit insanity were shown, the most delicious trollbait provided was a journal he posted entitled "YOU FUCKING COWARDS >>"

On the surface, he appeared to just be another crybaby in desperate need of a waaaahmbulance because he was unable to force in his SUPER ADULT REBUTTAL in an argument after being blocked. For added lulz, the user being called out in what was to become a huge shitstorm commented first, causing FLR to shit his pants so hard with rage that he would unleash the fucking fury at the vast majority of people commenting on the journal that he was retarded enough to place into the public domain. Soon enough, comments were snowballing as trolls, sympathisers (yes, he had at least one) and voyeurs flocked to his journal like flies around shit.

It quickly descended into lulziness when people began to point out his logical fallacies and his overtly fake and gay outlook on life, he suddenly turned pseudo-intellectual and begun babbling on about "ideals". It could only get funnier from this point onwards.

Please note some of the following screenshots are incredibly TL;DR and are uploaded purely so he can't DENY FUCKING EVERYTHING like he's attempted to in the past.

FLR's gallery of journal related lulz About missing Pics

• 
  Asspatting and apologising for nothing is a sure sign of a sudden increase in maturity.
• 
  This pretty much summarises the whole shitstorm.
• 
  He's seen and done it all in his 19 short years. Being stabbed doesn't mean shit, he's lived through worse!111
• 
  The hypocrisy is indeed delectable.

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• 
  The troll that triggered the immense butthurt to come.
• 
  This looks like a troll. I can tell from seeing some of the antagonistic replies and from having seen quite a few trolls in my time.
• 
  He practically admitted he was a bawbaby at this point.
• 
  TL;DR- He got trolled into mindlessly babbling about Castlevania.
• 
  He behaves identically IRL and OTI, even though he's not imprisoned or hospitalised!
• 
  Opinions are subjective, cockshiner.
• 
  "Hey kid. STFU kid. Blocking you now, kid."
• 
  "Hurrhurr people just find it difficult to accept that I'm awesome."
• 
  Oh look, he got served by a girl younger than he is.
• 
  Aaaand now she's blocked. You sure showed that bitch!

His "ideals"

FLR is a complex soul and so his ideals are a little difficult for him to explain. If you ask about his ideals, gearing yourself up for a genuine, hearty debate, you'll be disappointed. FLR likes to bait people to challenge his ideals but whenever he's questioned on it he'll insist that the very fact you've asked him such a preposterous question means you're a dumbass kid who couldn't possibly even begin to comprehend the meaning of ideals, never mind his own. Besides, his ideals are 2 TL;DR 4 U, so it would take centuries to write them down and even longer for your tiny little mind to process the information.

	“	An ideal is a principle or value that one actively pursues as a goal. Ideals are particularly important in ethics, as the order in which one places them tends to determine the degree to which one reveals them as real and sincere. It is the application, in ethics, of a universal. It is roughly similar to the relative intrinsic values. Someone who claims to have an ideal of honesty but is willing to lie to protect a friend is demonstrating that not only does he hold friendship as an ideal, but, that it is a more important one than honesty. Thus ideals can be seen to be similar to values.	„
	—- Just so you're all fucking educated enough to listen to an explanation for his inherent faggotry in the near future.

How to be dismissive of opposing views without sounding like a crybaby 101.

FLR seems to be laboring under the misconception that the group who featured him actively encourage trolling, when in fact whenever they present a faggot to be lol'd at, they implicitly tell members not to remind the user of their faggotry to avoid incurring Chix0r's wrath. They even give the subject of the blog the opportunity to baw about it so that it can be removed if their symptoms of butthurt are too intense. So of course, when everybody took it upon themselves to tell FLR what a cocksmoker he is, he'd immediately dismiss them claiming they're not fighting for their own ideals but instead being sheeple, commanded to attack him for no apparent reason even though he's a pretty cool guy by his own standards. Although he's quick to call troll, he's too retarded to stop displaying his butthurt to them, either by blocking them or insisting upon getting in the final rebuttal usually describing how OSSIM he is in comparison to them.

Whiteknighting and asspatting for him is considered to be a very mature endeavor and whoever defends him with the most conviction and zeal will be invited to a brief circlejerk, but they're still just kids, lol. In fact, when he was baited by a troll aiming to expose his blatant bias and idiocy by leaving an asspatting remark about how much he agreed with him, FLR went on to discuss how much he loevs Castlevania since the commenter was ttly not a "useless meatbag" after all.

Another curious trait of FLR's is that he occasionally references a man to whom he would be considered a child to this day, who taught him all of his super fucking l33t skillz and knowledge. Unfortunately whenever he brings this person up, it just sounds like he's making some vague Azn reference about a sagacious, haggard sensei that taught him the 5 point palm exploding heart technique. However, after hearing some weird shit about this man later on, a caucasian teenager learning some shit out of Kill Bill actually sounds a whole lot moar plausible.

LOLWUT

Calling everyone "kid" when you behave like a fictional 9 year old boy is pretty fucking funny.

"OMG I KNOW ABOUT SOME SUPER KAWAII DIGIMON GROUPS!11" =3

"THAT DIGIMON IS A HOAR, I HAET ENGLISH DUBZ."

As a weeaboo, FLR enjoys a good spot of animu daily. As well as fanboying over shit people have probably never heard of, he has a strong affinity for Digimon. Ordinarily, this would fall into the category of shit nobody cares about. However, it would seem that FLR's arrogance, ignorance, pig-headedness, and conviction to defend vague "ideals" that he's not even prepared to discuss are actually traits of a Digimon character! Surprised? We sure are!111

	“	Though he is the youngest of the Japanese Chosen Children, he is the most serious, and is very mature and wise for his young age. He is quiet, philosophical and polite. Above all, he values honesty and justice, and will stubbornly stand up to his ideals and opinions. In the beginning, his world of view is very black-and-white, as befitting a child. Iori lives with his mother, Fumiko, and his grandfather, Chikara, who is a retired police officer and a kendo master. Iori's father, Hiroki, was also a police officer.	„
	—If he was aiming for mature and wise, he's doing it wrong. Also, read the rest of the "wikimon page". If he can relate heavily to this animu boy, it explains why he's such a fucked up moron.

Now if you can just slap a disorder on this kid it would explain why Digimon has such a huge impact on his life. Since he's never outwardly claimed to have any kind of disorder, we're just going to have to assume he's speshul.

Butthurt journal #2- Electric Boogaloo

U still mad, bro?

Not content with baiting trolls to respond to his first journal around 400 fucking times, he thought he'd post some moar faggotry for all to see. His second journal "Wish people would make their own decisions in life" is more of a bawwfest that's aimed at making people who follow links to his profile feel retarded and the people who link to his profile feel guilty. Again, since nobody is outright commanding anybody else to visit his profile specifically to flame him until his ass is chargrilled a nice golden brown, his "Shame on you" journal didn't really have the desired effect either. It only served to make him seem increasingly butthurt. CRY MOAR, KID.

Rather diligently, his white knight was back on the scene, eager to dutifully rim her master and be referred to as "kid" even though they're the same fucking age. She even got extra speshul asspats on her profile for being an internet tough guy and employing the use of big words such as "horable" and "dipshit". Nevermind the fact that she can't even lern2English at her age and comprehend that OL whiteknighting is a fruitless exercise, as long as FLR considers it to be a mark of maturity then it must be!

• 
  He's frightened about getting featured again for displaying his faggotry to the fullest. He's going to have a nerd rage once he sees what we did here.
• 
  A white knight with onigiri as their avatar. Why am I not surprised?
• 
  "Thanks for whiteknighting for me back there, kid. Just for that, you get a second chance to suck my E-dick."
• 
  "I don't know him very well, but I decided whiteknighting for him was the best course of action!111"

The infamous "skullfuck punch"

Yes faggot, how is that possible?

The true use of a skullfuck punch

Since he wasn't prepared to upload a youtube video of his l33t skillz, a GIF re-enactment was created.

When somebody had the audacity to ask about his grorious sensei kun chan sama DESU, he lost his shit and threatened the user with a "skullfuck punch". Upon being asked what one was, he spewed a bunch of bollocks about how it can penetrate solid steel and fuck your shit up. People were quick to point out the human skeleton isn't quite a durable as steel but FLR insists that willpower is all you need to defy biology and physics simultaneously. When a user asked him to demonstrate his awesome skills on his face, he raged back into internet tough guy mode and reminisced about how when people challenged him to a gentlemen's duel they always fell on the floor crying after being punched in the face, despite the fact that if he can punch through solid steel, then he can punch through a fucking skull. Anyone asking for conclusive evidence of his Super Saiyan-like strength was deemed illogical and blocked due to his blatant dishonesty and butthurt.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Sounds like something from one of his favourite animus. OWAIT.

After finding these shenanigans highly suspicious coming from a batshit insane weeaboo, we probed further to see where he may have gotten this utter bullshit from. Lo and behold, he's a Soul Eater fanboi. Guess what happens in one of the episodes? I'll give you a hint: It's called the COURAGE PUNCH.

	“	Maka punches him in the face with a "fist full of courage," which surprisingly causes Asura's face to crack. As his body begins to shatter, Asura wonders how a punch full of something as simplistic as courage could defeat him. Maka tells him courage is indeed nothing special, that everybody has it. Before he explodes, Asura smiles to himself upon realizing that courage is therefore the same as madness: everybody has it.	„
	—This "higher power" wouldn't happen to be an animu character, would it?

The mystery behind the internet tough guy facade unravelled!

Once upon a time, FLR was once a fine young gentleman. He courted young wimminz and even lowered his standards enough to make advances towards furries and Sonicfags to increase the probability of getting laid (yiffing or otherwise). Having faced the heartbreak of rejection a few too many times, he began to take the "nice guys finish last" cliche a bit too literally and begun behaving like a giant douche in the hopes that women would be magnetised to the persona of a furious, sexually repressed wife beater.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Protip: Only retarded women like abusive assholes. LURK MOAR, KID.

One would think that with the kind of self loathing, fugly, weeaboo GOTI you find on the internets, that he would indeed be rolling in vag. Unfortunately his white knight is the only person who's showed any real loyalty since he condescends to her err'day and she just takes it up the rectum like the dedicated little faggot she is.

Retards say the darndest things

Because he readily provides it at every turn on dA we have this modest section entirely dedicated to lulzy quotes from our favourite elitist, pretentious, internet tough guy, pseudo intellectual weeaboo complete with corresponding caps:

	“	and also i don't need to know stuff before i say something. I just say it because I'm usually right. >>	„
	—1. FLR godmoding.

	“	Ha! That's fucking hilarious. I don't argue kid, I debate. But apparently debate is a little too much for you.	„
	—2. FLR- Neither annoyed nor pinpointing cognitive impairment to take the focus away from his own.

	“	not leaving yet. one or two are worth talking to. chance of improvement is small for them. they still get a chance though.	„
	—3. FLR- I'll ragequit dA once I've brainwashed these kids, BRB.

	“	you're fucking retarded >>	„
	—4. FLR's response to being told his FAVOURITE GAME EVAR was gay.

	“	Your homosexuality has no real basis or meaning. It is largely sexual and yields no efficient outcome in terms of either religion or evolution.	„
	—5. It would've been an efficient outcome if his mother was a dyke.

	“	*wags tail* ^^	„
	—6. That's an odd thing to come from somebody who claims to despise "perverted" furfags.

	“	my ex was actually what's called a recolor artist and she would always do sonic pics =3	„
	—7. Back in the day the very much "asexual" FLR had an untalented Sonicfag girlfriend. This is probably what deterred him from pursuing future relationships.

	“	It's fucking ridiculous that people are so arrogant that they actually will take away the choice of a child do decide it's path in life before it even draws first breath, and all because some dumb slut wanted to fuck.	„
	—8. Lifeless foetuses are moar important than the cacophany of existing human beings he's threatened to murder or seriously injure over the internet.

	“	I don't call them chidren out of insult. I'm the person with all the experience and wisdom. Do you get pissed at an old war veteran for calling the 21 year old man kid? exactly >>	„
	—9. FLR is somehow under the illusion that he deserves to be put on a pedestal as high as EBM's.

	“	Glad to know that the only time I would ever cosplay for a character I truly respected would receive so much ridicule.	„
	—10. You make weeaboo sad. :(

	“	allow me to explain.	„
	—11. FLR's response to a lulzy flash about him. But he doesn't give a shit what you meatbags think.

	“	the only real problem i have with this video is the "lol ideals" part. That's basically equivalent to going up to someone and saying "LOL YOU BELIEVE GOD HAHAHAHAH!" It's just isn't something should you should do. The rest of it is pretty funny though lol.	„
	—12. FLR considerately suggests that mocking other people's beliefs is wrong. Then continues to call people kids and meatbags based on their opinions, lol.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

FLR's gallery of quoted faggotry About missing Pics

• 
  1. "I'm omniscient HURRRR."
• 
  2. The tables are turned.
• 
  3. I'm getting just about butthurt enough to ragequit, but not yet. There are still some people who can repent.
• 
  4. "OMG CASTLEVANIA IZ NOT GHEY U FAG, TAEK DAT BACK!!11"

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• 
  5. "Homosexuality is pointless."
• 
  6. Furfaggotry eh?
• 
  7. FLR had a fucking girlfriend?
• 
  8. He's pro life. Srsly.
• 
  9. Yeah. A lot of 19 year olds will tell you they know fucking everything, it doesn't make it true.
• 
  10. FLR getting tremendously butthurt over an amusing flash about him.
• 
  11. THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!11!1
• 
  12. Nobody can trash anybody else's ideals but me, lol.

Visual aids

During our time observing FLR, lulz-a-plenty have been had making "fan" art and advice dog variants.

FLR's gallery of screenies, shoops and "fanart" About missing Pics

• 
  "Y'ALL ARE JUST A BUNCH OF JELLY LITTLE KIDS."
• 
  How to emulate your favourite hero, now in a handy illustrated guide!
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  "Only pussies block. Oh BTW, I'm blocking you NEENER NEENER."
• 
  Please refer to previous description.

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• 
  Bitches don't know, kid.
• 
  U GAIZ CUD NEVAR UNDERSATND MAI IDEALS HERPADERP.
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  "I can't think of a witty rebuttal right now so you're just retarded and illogical, lol."
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  "HURR WHEN DID I EVER SAY I COULD DO A SKULLFUCK PUNCH?!"
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  This boy thinks he's "lightyears ahead of you" when it comes to maturity.
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  Infallible logic.
• 
  Woof woof! =^_^=
• 
  The profound culmination of life experiences that triggered the epiphany that being an internet tough guy would make him feel less bitter.
• 
  Trufax
• 
  Because "kid" is practically every other word he says, he is being compared to a modern day Suie Suisi Suisie Desu.

Fun facts

• He is fiercely homophobic, deeming homosexuality "pointless" and claiming it is just as much of a choice as deciding to shoplift. Can anybody say repressed?
• He models his life and behaviours around Digimon characters even though he constantly witters on about people not being able to think for themselves.
• He claims to despise people who think and behave similarly yet he continues to use the internet, breathe, and eat food.
• He believes anybody who has been raised has been conditioned to think a certain way and the only way to truly be an individual is to entirely rebel against anything mommy and daddy ever told you. While his understanding of social etiquette is limited, he's still not feral, so that's bullshit.
• He still thinks it's possible to even be an individual.
• He will skull fuck punch you.
• It's common knowledge he's a misogynist since he refers to female cosplayers as slutty all the time, so it's no surprise that he thinks whenever someone gets knocked up, "it's all that whore bitch's fault". What's particularly lulzy though, is that he doles out death threats like sweets on Hallowe'en, then reveals he is pro life and frowns upon female pro choicers shenanigans. What's more, he considers having an abortion to be "arrogant". But he's not an arrogant little cunt himself, not at all.
• Due to his nonsensical bullshit, homophobia, misogyny, and inability to admit he's a moron, he is likened to an able bodied and slightly more eloquent CWC.
• His favourite emote is >>
• He claims to despise furries because of their sexual perversion, yet he is a closet furry.
• He has a strange obsession-like love for Devil May Cry, to the point of hating DMC5 for "selling out"
• If he ever argues with you, he will discover he cannot win, and attempt to cover up this idiocy by insulting you badly and blocking you.
• His USI is very much similar to that of Jecht's from Final Fantasy X.
• "Meatbag" and "kid" are his favourite ad hominems.
• He'll tell you he's not raging at his monitor everytime he unleashes the fucking fury when in actuality, HE MAD.
• Because he has nothing to contribute to dA besides retarded animu cosplays he randomly drops onto people's profiles to baw about how shit their art is. He's usually subsequently pwned for his asshattery but for some reason he always believes he's emerged victorious.
• Anybody willing to whiteknight for him is a pretty cool guy. But still a kid, nonetheless.
• He can't even RP without calling people "kid".
• He needs a fistful of stool softeners to ease his butthurt whenever he's called a kid himself.
• He is an avid Castlevania fanboy.
• He once attempted to explode a local brony group using his usual tactics of drama, punches, and assholery.
• When all else fails, he becomes an internet tough guy and threatens people with things that aren't even physically possible.

Gallery

FLR's Gallery About missing Pics

• 
  Bitches and whores.
• 
  He can happily dish out douchey comments on a regular basis but when somebody verbose does it to him first, he loses his shit.
• 
  Weeaboo smileys and pestering for a girl's msn under the pretense that she's 11. Creepy.
• 
  Even furries don't take him srsly, LOL.

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• 
  That about sums him up.
• 
  "I do have IRL friends, rly! And what's more, they put up with my bullshit too!11"
• 
  FLR can't hide from the truth, it's FUKKEN SAVED.
• 
  KID.
• 
  He can't even roleplay without referring to somebody as a kid. I hope he's not pursuing a srs acting career.
• 
  Lol, jog on.
• 
  You mad?
• 
  Basement dweller confirmed.
• 
  "OMFG A SOUL EATER RP!111"
• 
  HE MAD.
• 
  He knows what he's talking about when it comes to quality art. Just check out DAT COSPLAY.
• 
  "FFFFF- nobody's taking the bait!11"
• 
  No surprise there.
• 
  No prizes for guessing whether this got flagged as spam.
• 
  HERPDERP HOW DO I KNOW WHEN SOMEONE'S MOCKING ME?
• 
  It's nice that he leaves us hilarious little nuggets of hypocrisy to screencap.
• 
  Even other weeaboos are so tired of his shit they're baffling him with logic.
• 
  Lol, she still thinks the BHB are solely responsible for people seeking out a new lolcow en masse.
• 
  A little enlightenment for his whiteknight.
• 
  OMG U CNAT MAEK FUN OF MEH IM DISABLED111
• 
  Pointing out shitty typing amounts to saying "LOLOLOL, YOU'RE DISABLED!" apparently.

See Also

• An Herpo
• Internet Tough Guy
• Dan144x
• SephirothPrincess941- Another batshit weeb that applies animu values to RL.

External links

• His dA ED advises you to refrain from trolling him otherwise you're sheeple, and you may receive an animu strength punch through your monitor without warning.
• There is now a lulzy plz account dedicated to his fail and AIDS.
• Yet another plz account has been spawned from his idiocy.
• Lulzy animation he got incredibly butthurt over. Hover over the dancing faggot to view funny memorable quotes.
• Gaiaonline account Yes, gaia’s perfectly mature you fucking meatbags!11
• Jewtube
• Byond, whatever the fuck that is
• Zetaboards.
• Xfire
• Greg's myspace
• .

Freelancerraiko is part of a series on DeviantART Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

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