Bed: Difference between revisions

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Typical Bed

The Origins of Beds

The first known bed was invented in 3600 B.C.E (the Neolithic period) in Iran, which was then known as Persia. These beds were made of goatskins and water; however, the first bed probably consisted of only dirt, straw, and grass. Fast forward to 200 B.C. and the Romans invented the first air mattress with cloth which was stuffed with reeds, wool, and sometimes hay. The wealthy would stuff their mattresses with feathers. In 1833 a physician known as Neil Arnott invented the waterbed (a mattress filled with water), in the late 1980's these were in fashion; however, losers kept telling false claims about waterbeds like you would fall through it, or it would flood your bedroom, despite waterbeds being very durable. The main reason why people don't buy waterbeds is because they require regular maintenance for it to last years.In 1883 and J.P. Leggett (an inventor) made the first steel coiled mattress, this mattress wasn't popular at the time; however, as time passed the mattress would tremendously be used across the world.

TL;DR Beds have came a long way since prehistoric times.

Things you can do with a Bed

There are other uses for a bed, most people use it for sleeping, but you can use it for other things also.

Sleeping
Crying
Cuddling
Punching
Sexual intercourse (you will never achieve this)

Fun facts About Beds

Your bed will accumulate an average of 10 pounds of dead skin in the next 8 years.
The average thickness of a mattress is 9-12 inches, a good mattress is 12 inches.
The average Queen mattress is 60 inches wide, a regular mattress is 53 inches wide.
The average Queen mattress is 80 inches long, a regular mattress is 75 inches long.
Some mattresses can cost up to 5,000 bucks!

More about Beds

Most beds will give you back problems and will be a pain in your ass literally.

Body Pillows

File:Elliotrodger.jpg

the ideal body pillow

The closest thing you will ever get to touching anything that feels like a human other than yourself is a body pillow, a body pillow is what the name suggests, it is just a pillow the size of a human for you to cuddle with because you're a lonely loser. There are various body pillows that depict a picture of something(most of the time it's an anime body pillow).

Amiibo - Bacon and Eggs - Bad Article - BAHDUM TISH - BITCH WHAT THE FUCK - Blank Article - Boo - Booger - Chair - Chan Ho Park - Carmencurbstomp - Crossfire (board game) - DMV - Everywhere at the End of Time - Flags - Fourth wall - Fuck What You Heard - Gallium - GOTTA GO FAST - Green Onions - Ham - Hobosexual - Honey Bunches of Oats - Horizontal lines - I a£ so drink eight now - IRL Groyper - James Bond - Jar Jar Binks - Korean cry - Lawnmower - Lead - Lodizal - MAO - Nick Offerman - Nigero - Nigger Kike Jew Jar - Nostradamus - Nuoh my god - Operation Madeupname - PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP - Parakeets - Pony - Ror - Server Maintenance - Sex Panther - Space - STOFlames - Take the meat bridge - Tele-marketers - The Warriors - Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - Unidentified Rodian with jacket - WHERE IS THE ARTICLE? - WHO AM ARTICLE? - WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE? - WHY IS THEY AN SYSOPS? - Wunderground

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-==The Orgins of Beds==
+{{stub}}
-The first known bed was invented in 3600 B.C.E (the Neolithic period) in which was used in Persia. These beds were made of goatskins and water; however, the first bed probably consisted of only dirt, straw, and grass. Fast forward to 200 B.C. and the Romans invented the first air mattress with cloth which was stuffed with reeds, wool, and sometimes hay. The wealthy would stuff their mattresses with feathers. In 1833 a physician known as Neil Arnott invented the waterbed(a mattress filled with water), in the late 1980's these were infashion; however, losers kept telling false claims about waterbeds like you would fall through it, or it would flood your bedroom, despite waterbeds being very durable. The main reason why people don't buy waterbeds is because they require regular maintenance for it to last years.In 1883 and J.P. Leggett(an inventor) made the first steel coiled mattress, this mattress wasn't popular at the time; however, as time passed the mattress would tremendously be used across the world.
+[[File:Typical_Bed.jpg|thumb|Typical Bed]]
+==The Origins of Beds==
+The first known bed was invented in 3600 B.C.E (the Neolithic period) in Iran, which was then known as Persia. These beds were made of goatskins and water; however, the first bed probably consisted of only dirt, straw, and grass. Fast forward to 200 B.C. and the Romans invented the first air mattress with cloth which was stuffed with reeds, wool, and sometimes hay. The wealthy would stuff their mattresses with feathers. In 1833 a physician known as Neil Arnott invented the waterbed (a mattress filled with water), in the late 1980's these were in fashion; however, losers kept telling false claims about waterbeds like you would fall through it, or it would flood your bedroom, despite waterbeds being very durable. The main reason why people don't buy waterbeds is because they require regular maintenance for it to last years.In 1883 and J.P. Leggett (an inventor) made the first steel coiled mattress, this mattress wasn't popular at the time; however, as time passed the mattress would tremendously be used across the world.
 <br>
 <br>
 [[TL;DR]] Beds have came a long way since prehistoric times.
 ==Things [[you]] can do with a Bed==
 There are other uses for a bed, most people use it for sleeping, but you can use it for other things also.
 * Sleeping
-* [[ emo | Crying on]]
+* [[ emo | Crying]]
 * [[ gay| Cuddling]]
 * Punching
-* Sexual intercourse([[you]] will never achieve this)
+* Sexual intercourse ([[you]] will never achieve this)
 ==Fun facts About Beds==
-*Your bed will accumulate and average of 10 pounds of dead skin for the next 8 years.
-*The average thickness of a mattress is 9-12 inches, a good mattress is 12 inches.
+*Your bed will accumulate an average of 10 pounds of dead skin in the next 8 years.
+*The average thickness of a mattress is 9-12 inches, a good mattress is [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|12 inches]].
 *The average Queen mattress is 60 inches wide, a regular mattress is 53 inches wide.
 *The average Queen mattress is 80 inches long, a regular mattress is 75 inches long.
 *Some mattresses can cost up to 5,000 bucks!
-==What [[you]] can use your bed For==
+==More about Beds==
-Despite the bed's only intended use is to sleep on, there's other reasons why you would use your bed. The bed is such an incredible invention.
+Most beds will give you back problems and will be a pain in your ass literally.
-* Crying on
-* Punching
+==Body Pillows==
-* Can be used as an alternative chair
+[[File:Elliotrodger.jpg|thumb|the ideal body pillow ]]The closest thing [[you]] will ever get to touching anything that feels like a human other than yourself is a body pillow, a body pillow is what the name suggests, it is just a pillow the size of a human for [[you]] to cuddle with because [[you | you're]] a lonely [[loser]]. There are various body pillows that depict a picture of something(most of the time it's an anime body pillow).
-* Sexual intercourse(not like [[you]] will experience this)
+==See also==
+*[[Hugbox]]
+*[[Uncyclopedia]]
+{{why is there an article}}
+[[Category:IRL Shit]]
-==More about Beds==
+__NOTOC__
-Most beds will give you back problems and will be a pain in your ass literally.